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You know its true. You hear the whiny songs all the time. You see them on TV harping about their friends and talking about all the 'girl power' they possess. But where does all the power they possess come from? This is a mystery that many people have tried for years to discover, but all the time spent has only brought up more and more questions.
Dateline: London. The home town of the Spice Girls. A housekeeper in a local hotel where the group was staying opens the room up the next day to find all the sheets in the room soaked with blood, and the curtains singed from candles lying haphazardly on the floor. Publicity people for the Spice Girls say that it had nothing to do with satanic rituals or anything that might indiciate they are servants of the beast, and that it was an innocent Tupperware party for their friends. But you have to ask yourself how many Tupperware or Avon ladies sacrifice goats in hotel rooms.
Dateline: Budapest. The Spice girls finally finish their set in front of a sold out crowd. But after the girls leave the stage, all the fans start piling out in a dizzy rage. It seems they were all in a trance that was later described by doctors as a 'brainwashing state of emotion that we haven't seen since that episode of Ellen.' Also, sources and roadies close to the band report that they must wear earplugs during concerts because the girls speak in tongues most of the time and they really would not like to sell their immortal soul.
Finally, recent studies have shown that the CD album cover to the Spice Girls latest album, Spice (roughly translated in Early Hebrew: Kill the Virgins), has been shown to not only fold easily into the album case, but into the shape of a pentagram. But unfortunately, this latest finding has only made album sales rise higher than ever before, mortally wounding society.
All this evidence pointing to only one conclusion: The Spice Girls are the spawn of Satan. Yes, don't try to deny it ladies, all that 'girl power' is really driven by the Prince of Darkness.The only thing you 'Wannabee' is the keeper of our immortal souls. Yes, more than one Melanie can spell trouble, but when all 4 are assembled, you get more than Captain Planet. A heck of a lot more.
Also, just yesterday the Pope issued warnings and banished the Spice Girls from the Vatican. He feared his position could be threatened by the five evil temptress harpees. Heck, who doesn't. Watch as further news develops.