Sex! Lies! Hanson!!!
Earlier today in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, police took the members of the group 'Hanson' into custody after they attempted to pick up an undercover police officer posing as a local prostitute. The 3 brothers, Isaac, Taylor and Zak were escorted by police to their own holding cell pending trial.
The following is a statement from the officer posing as a working girl, going under the name, 'Dewmi Moore.'
"The boys was looking for a good time and had the cash. They also had this little bleeting sheep in the back of the car, and the little one had this crazy look in his eye, along with a bottle of whip cream in his left hand. I couldn't really see what he had in his right hand, but it didn't look good either. The oldest one, he was drooling and looking all innocent-like, but after he told me about the whip and the belt buckles, I knew he had to be the brains of the operation. Plus, he was the only one old enough to drive."
Apparently, the boys' history of kinky sex and wild rides dates back to their youth when a starving Marv Albert was forced into nanny work and took care of the three boy wonders. Mr. Albert is currently being questioned as to the things he taught the boys along with manners. Also, Michael Jackson is being questioned by police about his eagerness to bail the boys out, in exchange for some 'quality time' at the Neverland Ranch.
Also, one member, Taylor Hanson, has been previously convicted of such twisted crimes. It seems that 6 months previous he was caught in the underwear section of Victoria's Secrets trying on Kinky Thong underwear and prancing around the store. He was finally approached by store employees and finally wrestled to the ground while screaming obscenities.
As we look to the future we must think of how Hanson's career, and wonder if it will suffer any. Maybe it may take off even more. Now the little twirps will have something more to sing about than 'MMMBop!' Come on, you have to admit it was a crappy song about nothing. Or maybe...... just maybe, it was a desperate cry for help.