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Lately everyone has been hearing about the battle in Washington over Welfare Reform. We've decided that there is only one real way for all the good people to have welfare, and make sure that the system is not wasteful and helps all parties. Simply sell your soul to the government!
Right now, in the Pentagon, files are being collected of experiment subjects that were not happy with their personal Welfare programs. We found that only committed and worthy should get superior treatment, and one way to test their worthiness was to ask them to sell their soul to the government. All they did was sign a contract that gave the guys in Washington exclusive rights and use of their soul, and they got all the coverage and necessary provisions they wanted, along with that monthly check.
Many say that the idea of "selling your soul" is kinda controversial. We say so what? Is there anything that the government doesn't do that is controversial?? So here we are today.
While this program is still in it's infancy as far as reaching the general public, we see great potential. It's a win-win situation for both parties. Not only is the welfare recipient happy with the new benefits that are only enjoyed by S.Y.S. participents, but the government gets something that it has always wanted.
Many ask that once the government has your soul, what does it do with it? That is a good question, and one we are proud to answer. Your soul goes to pay off the National Debt! We put your soul up for auction between God, the Devil, and the I.R.S. and pay out to the highest bidder! Not only do you benefit, but you can feel good knowing that you have done your part in saving our National Debt.
Don't worry!! Future programs will be coming out to help us pay off things like education, and poverty! So keep your eyes open!
Hey, don't worry about your soul. I mean this is the government, what could go wrong???