Once upon a time there was an Indian princess named Beans-too-many. She lived with her people and had a husband named Beans-too-little. The Bean family had two children and were a respected part of the tribe. That was except for Beans-too-many's long lost brother Seaweed-seller. He came to visit often and they hated to have him come, but it was the tribe tradition to let him stay in their lodge.

One time there was a dispute in Seaweed-seller's homeland and he wanted Beans-too-many to return home to her own people. This time Beans-too-little had to step in and argued with Seaweed-seller about Beans-too-many staying home and caring for their three kids, Lima, Pinto, and Garbonzo. But Seaweed-seller kept firm and finally the two men were brought before the high council to argue their points and the council would make their decision.

It took many hours and Seaweed-seller and Beans-too-little argued very strong points, but finally the council had enough, and returned to the lodge to make their decision. After two minutes, which is now followed as a standard deliberation time for jurors like in the O.J. case, they came to a decision.

They came back and told the two men their decision. They said that it should not be either of the mens' choices but Beans-too-many's choice as to what she would do. They went back to the lodge and asked her. After a couple of minutes of thought, she hired Running Simpson and Jailed Bailey as her lawyers and sued Beans-too-little and Seaweed-seller for sexual harassment. She now owns a condo on the Wide and Deep river while Beans-too-little and Seaweed-seller are spending a 5 year sentence each at the Iriquois Correctional Institution for Men.

Moral: No matter how many beans you have, the lawyers can take them all away.

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