"AIDS has become one of the biggest taboos without our society. It has gone from a little known mysterious disease to one that affects everyone. The majority of the world, and certainly the United States has been affected by this epidemic." Or has it?
We've seen many causes come and go through the last couple of decades. Save the rain forests. Endangered Species. Laboratory testing of animals. We've seen the desperate pleas at the local shopping mart, on the evening news, and even on the steps of our own White House.
Everything in our modern world has become a causes. A causes to save something, to preserve something, for some . . . . thing. This thing, it needs your care, your love, your emotions, and most importantly, your MONEY!!!
Yes, your money is needed now! Your greenbacks, dough, dinero all essential to keep that 'thing' going. No matter what the cause, it is urgent, and vital to further your conscience, while also cutting your wallet short.
Most Americans today hate commercials. We despise them. In fact, they are the main reason most people ever turn the channel during a television program. No one watches television for the annoying commercials, but mainly for the 'quality' shows. This brings us to a contradiction in our modern society, an evil invading the very heart of American culture: Home Shopping Network.
Yes! Twenty-four hours a day of constant advertising all blaring from one source. It's excruciating to last through a regular thirty second long commercial. However, selling useless, expensive, and outright stupid products all day and night has to be some kind of mortal sin. You thought those late-night informercials were bad, guess again.
Every fifteen minutes there is some wonderful, amazing, stupendous product that is absolutely essential to your everyday life. Whether you really actually need it or not, does not matter, because this product is endorsed by a celebrity! Not a current celebrity, mind you, but one of those out of work, past, public figures who finally ran their "Three's Company" pension dry. If nothing else, you know you are helping one of those sitcom characters you grew up with pay for a stay in the Betty Ford Center or just renew their lifetime membership.
"Ab Flex!" "Lint Zapper!" "Thigh master!" "Slice-o-matic!" All wonders in their times, these items have somehow become nostalgic paperweights, or worse! Children's playthings!
"Yeah, I haven't seen my Thigh master after Billy decided to use it as a catapult!" "That's nice Susie. You're using the Slice-o-matic to behead another of Henry VIII's wives. House is a fun game, isn't it?" Beware the dangers lurking, do not pick up the phone, even if that little clock on the bottom of the screen ticks down to zero.
Secondly, we've all seen those ads for the poor and starving children of Ethiopia and other third world countries. You can just picture their small faces, with those puppy-dog eyes staring up at you in such need. Such big eyes calling to you, telling you that for only the price of a cup of coffee, you could help this small child. Yes, you can help.
The thing is, help is EXACTLY what these kids need. Help to wrestle the lock off of Sally Struther's trailer so they can get a hold of her fruit baskets and food supply, living like kings forever. Don't send money, send a locksmith set. It's much cheaper and provides much more food for many more people. Little Miguel from Peru won't go hungry tonight.
What is the other needy cause you face? Yes, it is children but this time right here in the United States. Every Labor day, he invades your living room. You know what great organization I'm speaking of. JERRY'S KIDS! THE MDA TELETHON! All weekend long teary-eyed parents of wheelchair bound kids thanking Jerry as they hand him a check from their local IGA. Really pulls your heart right out of your chest, doesn't it?
Funny things, though. Scientists have had a cure for Muscular Dystrophy for a while now, or rather the government has the cure. But, for some weird reason, they won't release it to potential patients who need it, something with FDA approval.
Meanwhile, not only is your money going to this hypocritical, faulty government, but the to 800 number at the bottom of your television screen. That magic total goes up and up, Jerry Lewis has to squint more and more to see all those bright numbers. Folks, do the man a favor, don't donate! Maybe he won't waste a nice weekend with his thirty or so kids, and he might even get his eyesight back.
Next, the 700 club. It is one of the most virtuous and moral institutions we have today to guide our temptuous Christian hearts and minds in such a horrible society as the one we live in. The captain guiding us on this magical voyage, none other than Pat Robertson.
Pat Robertson, coincidentally, is one of the richest men in America. Millions of dollars are at his disposal at any one time. Never mind he owns a house with more rooms than you could count with a ten-digit calculator, he is the voice of morality! Plus, he always has Ben Franklin and Andrew Jackson talking in his ear to tell us just what IS moral.
"Homosexuality is bad . . . . " according to Pat Robertson anyway. By listening to the words of this wonderful man, you will find all the subliminal influences to slowly turn America gay! They are everywhere! Gays in the streets, supermarkets, movie theaters, gas stations even the churches! Never mind that ten percent of America is gay anyway, because its just now that we've seen the increase in 'recruiting.'
Household appliance breaks down? Just turn someone gay! It's common knowledge you get a free toaster with every one. Hmmm... I think I'll have to go and buy some more bread. Secondly, the number of pink cars produced by General Motors and other major vehicle manufacturers has gone drastically up. Ellen DeGeneres is the first openly gay character on television. Coincidence, I think not. So, to you Pat Robertson, I have only one thing to say, and it comes right from your sacred Holy bible. Genesis 9:21 "...and he drank, and was drunken."
The homeless. A recently released Clinton report gave us the number of seven million people, wandering the streets, living in boxes. New York magazine writer Jon Katz tells us, "There aren't 7 million homeless people in America. Or 5 million. Or 3 million." In his column Seven Million Homeless People Can't Be Right, he shows how the homeless have become another of America's causes.
"If you're a conservative, or if you differ from the prevailing conventional liberal wisdom, you keep your mouth shut about it, or you get very isolated . . . If somebody says there are 10 million homeless people in America, you don't challenge that, even if you know it's bull, because people will se you as not caring about the homeless."
We know that homelessness is not necessarily a HUMUNGOUS problem, but a scam? Let me tell you a story, entitled 'How I spent My Summer Vacation.'
A couple of summers ago I was broke, and bored. I went with my friend Dave to Missoula, Montana to spend the day. He decided to show me how he got money. He proceeded to take me into the restroom, ruff up my clothes, slap some dirt on my face, making me look the role of a battered young homeless boy. I looked great! We even made a sign saying "Homeless Boy would Appreciate Your Help, Every Little Bit is an Act of Kindness."
Next we went to the humane society and picked up the rattiest dog we could find, one with different colored-eyes, banged-up leg, the whole bit; and told the nice charity people we were taking 'Sparky' for a walk.
We were ready, for the next 5 hours, we walked around the interstate corners, downtown, and near the mall with 'Sparky', my longtime friend since birth hoping some generous man or woman would help me make the journey to my next meal. At the end of the day, we returned Sparky and split the hundred-some dollars we had made. Easiest, and most fun seventy bucks of my life.
Homelessness may be a problem, or it may also be a scam. As the Weight Watchers commercials say, "If I can do it, you can do it!"
Any member of today's society has to think intelligently. Don't be fooled. The reason so many of these unbelievable scams keep going is the consumer. More and more people start to buy these bogus claims. In turn, Sally Struthers, Jerry Lewis and Pat Robertson get more viewers. This corruption of American causes has to stop, but it has to start with you.
Someone once said, "There's a sucker born every minute." Unfortunately, in today's society, they are also given a credit card.