Proagra
Are you happy, truly happy? I f you are similar to the typical American in today's society, chances are you aren't. Life in general seems to get most of us down. Our jobs, our families, the daily stresses that arise often, school, every aspect of our life seems to be just another burden for us. In these trying times, we are Pfizer, the same people who brought you Prozac and Viagra have combined our two wonder drugs for the benefit of the general population.
Yes, our scientists at the laboratory have found that designing specific drugs for each individual problem people have can be tedious and overall generally not very efficient. For instance, if you take Ritalin, Valium, Prozac, Viagra, Ibuprofen and some aspirin for good measure, that's an average of five or so minutes out of your daily schedule. Five minutes that could be much better spent! Every minute of your day is important, and we here at Pfizer recognize that.
Our scientists have also done research to find the two most popular drugs that we manufacter. We found that Prozac has been an old stand-by and Viagra, an up and rising star is also on the top of the list. This new combination, tentatively called 'Proagra' will hit store shelves in a non-prescription form, helping make it more available to the general public, although in a somewhat milder form. This will help to sustain every man on the planet for each of his major needs.
Now you may be asking yourself, what about the women? How will they benefit from this? Besides the obvious benefits to the wives and girlfriends of our Proagra population, our scientists have invented Pridol, a combination of Prozac and Midol. This will be a solution to some of the womens' needs, and hopefully become just as popular as its sister drug for the men.
You can see that we here at Pfizer are concerned first and foremost with you, the consumer. We know that in order to sustain your business, we must adapt to your growing needs. We will continue our tradition of excellence as we head on into the new millennium. This is our promise to you.
So please, lend a hend to help the introduction of Proagra to the average man. We here foresee a rising star in our new product, and we stand erect with pride to support its arrival. Young or old alike will benefit from our fine companie's dedication, and so shall you.