She Didn’t Say anything

A mother and a son were washing dishes while the father and the daughter were watching TV in the room. Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence.

The girl looked at her father and said, “it was Mom.”

“How do you know?” asked her father.

“She didn’t say anything.”

I Have Turned It Over

A woman said to her husband, “Dear, look at our sheet! It’s too dirty. Would you like to wash it now?”

The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a wh8ile and then said, “I don’t think it’s necessary. We can turn the sheet over. Is that all right?”

His wife was very angry at this. “How lazy you are!” She shouted, “To tell you the truth, I turned it over last week.”

The Art of Cry

When Mrs. Johnson entered Belli’s room, she found that he was binding up his thumb.

“What’s the matter with you?” she asked.

“It is because of the hammer.” Belli answered.

“But I didn’t hear you cry.” “Oh, I thought you were not in just now.”

It’s Not That

“May I borrow your record player tonight?” a man asked his neighbour.

“Sure. Do you want to listen to some music?”

“No,” he answered. “Tonight I want to have some peace and quiet”

I Want to Tell

When I was 12, my best friend and I broke a window while playing baseball. We looked around to see if anyone has seen us. No one was in sight except my younger brother. We went over and offered him a piece of candy not to tell. He refused hi.

“I’ll give y8ou my baseball,” I said.

“No!”

“Well, what do you want?”

“I want to tell.”

Sand and Fur Coat

Tom: Last week a grain of sands got into my wife’s eye and she had to see a doctor. It cost me three dollars.

John: That is nothing. Last week a fur coat went into my wife’s eye and it cost me three hundred dollars.

No Hoes

A thireteen-year-old boy was sitting on the sofa watching TV when the telephone rang.

“Hello, my son,” it was his father’s voice, “where is your nother?”

“Mother is out working in the garden.”

“What!” Barked the father, “Your mother is not as young and strong as she used to be. Why aren’t you helping her:”

“I can’t.” was the reply. “Grandma is using the other ho!”

Coincidence

A woman was singing. One of the guests truned to a man by his side and criticised the singer.

“What a terrible voice!” he said. “Do you know who she is?”

“Yes,” was the answer, “she is my wife.”

“Oh, I beg your pardon.” The man said, “Of course her voice is not bad, but the song is very bad. I wonder who wrote that awful song.”

“I did.” Was the answer.

An Irishman was noce serving in a regiment in India. He did not like the climate there and decided to think out a trick by which he could get home. He went to the doctor and said to him, “My eyesight is very bad. Can you help me?”

The doctor looked at him for a while and then asked, “Well, but how can you prove to me htat your eyesight is bad?”

The Irishman looked about the room and at last said, “Well, doctor, can you see that nail on the wall:”

“Yes,” replied the doctor.