From - Thu Sep 26 17:18:41 1996 Path: nntp.earthlink.net!mr.net!www.nntp.primenet.com!nntp.primenet.com!howland.erols.net!news1.erols.com!uunet!in3.uu.net!news.zNET.net!news From: "Dale Widner" Newsgroups: alt.surfing Subject: Ken and Barbie cont'd. Date: 26 Sep 1996 23:00:39 GMT Organization: Unknown Organization Lines: 57 Message-ID: <01bbabfe$6fe45b20$0f40a7cf@dew.znet.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: sdts1-15.znet.com X-Newsreader: Microsoft Internet News 4.70.1155 They drove up in a new (clean) imported compact car. Matching mountain bikes on a bumper rack, surfboard in a padded travel bag on the roof, custom wheels. Yes here they came, pert and perky, ready for the Baja campout. Pefectly coifed, stylishly dressed, without flaw. Immediatly Ken rolled out a large section of astro turf for Barbie to walk on. They set up the new pup tent and he changed into a brand new wet suit and headed for the beach. She got out the Hibachi, put on a couple of steaks and tossed the Caesar salad. After his short evening surf session, he came back to a nice dinner, and brandy in large, hot snifters. I sat and watched, as they sat and watched the sun drift below the horizon cuddled up beneath a down comforter. Then the bugs came out. Then the wind came up, and it got pretty cold. Understand, the campsites are on 3 inches of fine dust not unlike what the surface of the moon must be like. Shortly after sunset, Barbie came over to our fire. I noticed right away a pained expression on her face and the awkward way she stood. She asked if we might know where she could find the bathroom? Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. I looked at my teenage daughters and their friends and they started laughing as well. She didn't understand. I told her that the only ladies room was the building behind us, just up the hill. Even in the fading light you could see the pile of fecal matter sticking up well above the bowl, and that there was no door on the building. She looked at it momentarily and then back at us with increasing panic in her eyes. I suggested the ocean, but she forgot her bathing suit, the water was about 53 degrees, and the tide had covered most of the beach. I also suggested the bluff trails, cautioning her that while in the dark they can be tricky, you don't have to look far for some paper.Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha. Finally my wife could accept this abuse no more and told her that she could walk up the road to the La Fonda Hotel and Restaurant and use the bathroom there. She left in a gait closely resembling that of an Olympic sprint. Was it my imagination, or did I notice a smudge of dirt on her face. It was about two hours later that Ken came over to ask if we had seen his wife, just then she came stumbling back. Apparently, she had detoured to the bar and was by now feeling no pain. It appeared that she had also detoured into the ground a few times in that she had scrapes and dirt on her face and clothes. Then it became clear that while drunk, she had not lost all sense of reality. She went off on Ken for bringing her to this "God forsaken place" on their "FIRST ANNIVERSARY"! Trouble in Ken and Barbie land tonight! He makes his apologies to us and guides her back to their tent. I'm up early for a dawn patrol. Ken and barbie are gone. Not trace, at least until I startd down the bluff. There perched in the rocks, was a bashed up surf board, and a shiny silver travel bag that had been sliced up with a knife. I scored the fins and leash! Yes, La Fonda has claimed another of it's victims and there will be one less person in the lineup this morning. I love this place. Ha Ha Ha ha ha ha ha. See you out there, Bonzer -- http://sd,znet.com/~dew -----the best surfer is the one having the most fun----- ps. the names have been changed because I don't know the real ones and these sounded better anyway..