From - Tue Nov 5 16:36:16 1996 Path: nntp.earthlink.net!mr.net!news.sgi.com!news.msfc.nasa.gov!newsfeed.internetmci.com!newsfeed.direct.ca!udel-eecis!news.udel.edu!cpk-news-feed4.bbnplanet.com!dove.nist.gov!usenet From: Foondoggy Newsgroups: alt.surfing Subject: Re: Why old guys surf Date: Wed, 30 Oct 1996 16:11:58 -0500 Organization: nist Lines: 62 Message-ID: <3277C49E.7811@nist.gov> References: <0000315b+0000315f@msn.com> <3273BD08.41BA@a1music.com> <5567o9$oad@krypto.zippo.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: nov203e.nist.gov Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Mailer: Mozilla 3.0 (Win16; U) goob wrote: > > Here is the question. Why should a middle aged guy, ie over 40, surf? Foondoggy's Top Ten Reasons Middleage Guys surf! 10. Cool Clothes: At our age no other sport allows us to be so fashionable wearing baggy shorts & shirts, sweatstained ball caps, and praying mantis rainbow shades. 9. Cool Cars: Living in suburbia living vicariously off of surf movies, we have no good reason to own a fully tricked out HUMMER. But if we're going on a surfari to say, Central America (or just braggin about going), then a guy's gotta have the appropriate wheels. Right? 8. Cool Language: It's not often in our high level business meetings we get to say, "Dudes, Mackin, Worked, Housed, Floater, Airs, Kooks." So surfing allows us to enrich our vocabulary and syntax. 7. Cool Magazines: Guys get tired of reading Forbes, Money, Fortune and Golf Digest. The surfing rags have more pictures, so we don't have to read, plus once a month you get a nice butt shot of the Reef Brazil girls. (Did we mention "Woodie" in the language part?) 6. Long Boards: Riding the big ones (boards and waves) announces you're at the top of the food chain in surfing. They paddle easier, catch waves sooner, and you don't have to throw your back out turning them like you do on those damn potato chips. 5. Travel: There's nothing like a good swell as an excuse to blow off the weekend "Honey-do" list and go to the beach.("It's only this good once a year sweetheart, I can clean gutters anytime!) For those who can get away with saying you're going to some South Pacific island that has only thatch-roofed huts, no running water or electricity and only raw fish for food, having a Tavarua brochure on your coffee table has a certain cache to it. Of course, most of us won't go since there are no hot tubs or places to buy cigars. 4. Male Bonding: Though not normally a team sport, surfing seems to be dominated by guys. So if you're so socially maladjusted you can't find a girlfriend, there are plenty of guys out in the break between sets you can bitch to about women. 3. Virility: Scientific studies by Dr. Peter Amschel have proven conclusively that straddling a surfboard in very cold water causes the gonadal tissue to contract and shrivel, thereby stimulating and increasing the production of testosterone. Though surfing is a unique activity in which this occurs, you can always dip your balls in a bowl of icewater, but it's not nearly as much fun. 2. Three Words - Chicks love Surfers! 1. Alt.Surfing: A great newsgroup to brag about your surfing exploits, even if you live in the armpit of Ohio, and because basically people who really know you wouldn't believe you anyway. -Foondoggy ;^) "They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much." -Malcolm Cowley