Dear Mom;

Sorry I haven't written you sooner. I am doing exceptionally well here in Arizona but there will never be anyplace like my old back yard. Bill, my master, (I call him master just to feed his ego), is an incredibly nice man however I have to constantly work with him on his syntax. I have noticed that all humans seem to need speech therapy. It's a pity they didn't have a mother like you.
Let's see where shall I begin? I have a wonderful home here in Arizona with a great back yard. Since we have six foot block wall fence I enjoy sunbathing in privacy. And yes, I always use sun block. I finally got it through Bill's head that I prefer "Water Babies" with a SPF of 30. Since we don't have a doggie door, I make Bill or Joanne apply it whenever I want to go outside. As reinforcement for their behavior I don't potty on the floor anymore. They seem to place a high value on this effortless concession. It's really quite amusing how well I have them trained. Whenever I want to go outside I just lick the doorknob and whine a little. It works every time but I chose not to abuse their response because I don't want them to grow tired of my requests. . . Right off the bat I trained Bill to sleep right next to me so I can keep an eye on him at night. As long as he does not toss and turn too much I even let him under the covers. He doesn't know this but Joanne often sneaks her had across the bed and exercises her fingers on my neck. I think it helps the arthritis in her fingers so I figure it's a small sacrifice for someone that you love. Besides, she is very prompt with my meals. . . By the way mom, did you know that humans mate any time they want? Disgusting isn't it? . . . You may remember that Bill is a little chubby around the waist. I am working on that in the form of nightly walks. I expect to wear out his Nike's within a month. He is such a push over. I give him that "look", he pulls out the leash, and I dance around like it's his idea. . . Remember Old Lady Fluffy? Thanks to me she has made a full recovery and thinks she is a teenager again. To make her feel good I park my crate next to hers during the day. Naturally my place is much more spacious but I never brag to her about it. I even invite her over for snacks once in a while. She kind of grows on you and to tell you the truth I think she is kind of cute for a Poodle. I'm kind of glad you can't see me flirt with her and please, don't tell my sisters! . .I have no problem with my toiletries, but Marie, (Bills daughter) works at a bank located only two blocks away and stops by on her lunch just incase I need to pee on Mondays and Wednesdays. She smells real good mom and you would like her. The other days Bill or Joanne are in and out throughout the day but it kind of interrupts my beauty sleep. . . I found a good doctor here in Yuma but his Hispanic accent takes some getting used to. He is a friendly sort of guy and I think he really knows his stuff. . . Well, I think I am starting to ramble on so I guess I should close. Please be assured that all is well here and I am really happy. I will never forget how much you love me and all that you taught me. It is the natural course of events for me to go off into the world and start my own family of humans. Now that I have become a parent I am beginning to understand that sense of fulfillment that you talked about for weeks. I know you have your hands full taking care of Kristy but I have felt the love in your touch as you made that sacrifice. I only hope that someday I make you proud.

Your Loving Son;

Jeep

P.S. My middle name, (Doppler) was derived form a famous astronomer who discovered that if an object moves fast enough, it's color does something called redshifting or blueshifting. Look it up in the encyclopedia, it is quite interesting. Hint: That's also how they get you for speeding with radar.