OLD AGE 2001
I have always dreaded old age. I cannot imagine
anything worse than being
old. How awful it must be to have nothing to do all day long but stare at
the walls or watch TV. So last week, when the mayor suggested we all
celebrate Senior Citizen Week by cheering up a senior citizen, I determined
to do just that. I would call on my new neighbor, an elderly retired
gentleman, recently widowed, who, I presumed, had moved in with his married
daughter because he was too old to take care of himself. I baked a batch of
brownies and without bothering to call (some old people cannot hear the
phone), I went off to brighten this old guy's day. When I rang the doorbell,
this "old guy" came to the door dressed in tennis shorts and a polo shirt,
looking about as ancient and decrepit as Donny Osmond.
"I'm sorry I can't invite you in," he said when I introduced myself, "but
I'm
due at the Racquet Club at two. I'm playing in the semifinals today."
"Oh, that's all right," I said. "I baked you some brownies..."
"Great!", he interrupted, snatching the box, "Just what I need for bridge
club tomorrow! Thanks so much!"
"...and just thought we'd visit a while, but that's okay, I'll just trot
across the street and call on Granny Grady..."
"Don't bother," he said, "Gran's not home. I know, I just called to remind
her of our date to go dancing tonight. She may be at the beauty shop. She
mentioned at breakfast that she had an appointment for a tint job."
I called my Mother's cousin (age 83), she was in the hospital... working in
the gift shop. I called my aunt (age 74); she was on vacation in China. I
called my husband's uncle (age 79). I forgot, he was on his honeymoon. I
still dread old age, now more than ever. I just don't think I'm up to
it.....
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