Attn: Happy Bunch and associated yahoos

When: September 21-24, 2000

Where: The Allston/Brighton section of Greater Boston MA

Why: Cos Pugs has done it enough!

What?

Ladies and Gentlemen, there come critical times in the development of every organism, and the Happy Bunch is no exception. With the Diaspora of members to far-flung spots of the country, and globe, the addition by submission of several very lucky ladies to the great fraternity of idiots, and the impending maturity that threatens our numbers with the approach of a wide-round of 30th birthdays, I have taken upon myself to continue the greatest of Happy Bunch traditions, the Bash in the Burgh. One change in plans, tho. It has been determined that Pittsburgh, while a lovely place with wonderful native folk and many fascinating local traditions, is too damn far from everywhere but its own suburbs, and tends to reach a level of humidity not fit for human habitation. As such, this year, we're bringing the Bash back homewards, Boston, to be exact.

The game remains the same: plan on golfing, drinking, smoking, dancing, bar-hopping, flirting, smooching, vandalizing, and cabbing about town, but we'll have a different local flavor. September promises to bring a heated pennant race to town, so those interested will have the option of catching a Sox game on Friday night. Beantown has a great waterfront, so there will be plans to retire to a nearby beach for a Saturday afternoon recovery, in preparation for the night's festivities. And let's not forget what Boston is best known for: college girls. There will be points awarded for successful flirtation with nubile babes born in the 80's (points double if you flirt w/ girlfriend/ smoochie bunny/ lover/ wife in sight).

Point of order: while I do have some fortuitous access to many attractive single people in the Greater Boston area, I will be using my powers only to hook up Griz with an appropriate bettie. Everyone else, either bring some home-cookin', or wait for Pia to be asked, 'Do you guys want any lovin'?'.

There is rocking to be done in this town, and rock we shall. This weekend should take place just in time to catch good weather, an active returning student population, open schedules for all, and coincide with the double birthdays of Clif (31) and Nate (30). Everyone is welcome, though out of respect for my planning-disabilities, I ask that you RSVP with a solid yea of nay on the Golfing and Red Sox game by June 23. Bring your friends, bring your sweetie, bring your liver, just don't bring 'mydad'.

In accordance with our rapidly advancing ages and responsibilities, dog-sitting services will be provided/ recommended (while my housing situation won't be resolved until July, I assure y'all wherever I am, there will be plenty of room for dogs, tho Harmony may need a shark cage to protect her from Heed), and ample time will be provided to recover from revelry and fun with friends (the Scata's will be required to return home by Friday at the latest). That said, let's get to the plan:

Thursday: Various arrivals, offloading of folks and stuff to hotels/ motels/ holiday inns, and evening on the town in Allston Rock City.

Friday: Noon golf tourney for UCONN alum association at local golf course T.B.A., followed by late afternoon kegger/ barbecue, leading to Sox/ Orioles game at 7:05 at friendly Fenway, culminating in night carousing slightly closer to downtown in the Back Bay (Copely/ Prudential/ Landsdowne).

Saturday: Morning, sleep in, and either head off to a local seaside beach, or wander around town (Duck Tours, Public Gardens, Quincy Market shopping). Make sure you get back in time to prepare for the semi-formal: gentlemen will be required to wear shirts, ties and shorts, ladies should prepare your best sundress or similar slinky formal wear. We'll have an early evening of noshing and drinking, and then trundle everyone off to the heart of Boston to rock all night (and see who can make it back home safely after the T closes at 1. Super bonus points to anyone who retraces Sean's Dark Tower steps from downtown to Allston along Comm Ave., a lovely stroll of 5 miles).

Sunday: Go home, you bastards! Don't you have jobs and some pretense of normal lives to return to?

That's about it. I'm now going to copy Pugs' invite and fill in details that may help expedite travel plans for those in need. Remember, only you can prevent premature maturity. Every story that goes untold, every sign that goes unstolen, and every rug that goes uncut can never be recovered. Let's have some fun while we can, and show Boston how it's all done, Pittsburgh-style.

Boston, and my area of Allston in particular, has no shortage of comfy, affordable hotels. It also allows every opportunity to spend a week’s salary on a room with a view of the Common, so pick your spots carefully. Caveat emptor; I’ve only stayed in the MIT Marriott, so I can’t speak to the validity of these reviews, compiled as they are thru anecdotal evidence and guesswork. Remember, all distances are based on present living quarters, and may change come August 1^st. I don’t plan on moving more than a mile from my current home, so don’t fret too much.

Late info: BC has a parents weekend on this date, so make reservations EARLY!!!

If you have trouble finding a place, go to http://go.boston.com/scripts/staticpage.dll, click Motels & Hotels, then change area, and search for hotels near my home at 2 Appian Way, Allston 02134.

Daystop, 1800 Soldiers Field, Brighton. (617) 254-0200

CHEAP!!! The cheapest hotel in Boston proper. Just a mile down the road from the Days Inn, and still within a short jog to my house. Again, on the river, but not as convenient as Days Inn (there is an IHOP in the parking lot, tho, so Griz may stay here). Consultants to my company often get sequestered here when in town, and they still seem coherent after a few days so situated.

http://www.the.daysinn.com/boston05515

AS OF 6-8-00: ROOMS AT $100+

Motel 6, Braintree. (781) 848-7890.

This is NOT close. You’re near the T line, but about 15 miles from Allston (actually much closer to the South Shore woods where Katie lives). But if you want Tom to leave the light on for you…

http://motel6.com

AS OF 6-8-00: ROOMS AT $79.

Super 8 Motel, 100 N Beacon, Watertown. (617) 926-2200

Not looking to impress? This is the place to do it. 2.5 miles from me, and not convenient to anything.

AS OF 6-8-00: ROOMS AT $110.

Ground-Rule Double:

Days Inn, 1234 Soldiers Field, Allston. (617) 254-1234.

Literally seconds from my house (3/10s of a mile. Matt could run it in under a minute, if he really had to.). It’s close, it’s on the Charles River, and it’s cheap. Voted Heed’s best bet.

http://www.the.daysinn.com/boston04159

AS OF 6-8-00: ROOMS AT $109+

Holiday Inn, Brookline. (617) 277-1200

Just 1.5 miles from me, in beautiful Brookline. Posh, but worth it.

http://www.holidayinn.com

AS OF 6-8-00: ROOMS AT $209+

Hyatt Regency, Cambridge. (617) 492-1234

Looks like the Luxor. SWEEEEEET. Pretty close, too. Just 1.5 miles, on the Harvard side of the river.

http://www.hyatt.com

AS OF 6-8-00: ROOMS AT $239.

Best Western Terrace Inn, 1650 Comm Ave, Brighton. (617) 566-6260

In the heart of the action on Comm Ave, on the Green line for the T and close to the Rock City bars. 1.5 miles from me.

http://www.bestwestern.com/

AS OF 6-8-00: SOLD OUT!!!

Doubletree Guest Suites, 400 Soldiers Field, Allston. (617) 783-0900.

Just under a mile from my house down towards Cambridge. Lots of proms and graduations take place at this riverside spot (also very close to Harvard). Better accommodations than the Days section, and almost as close.

http://www.hilton.com/doubletree/

Rooms at $259.

Le Meridien, Boston.

Four words: You can’t afford it. 3 miles from Allston directly on the Common, and adjacent to the Prudential-Copely area, this is a world-class hotel for visiting dignitaries (Mariah Carey stays here when in town), and old-school Boston Bhramin. By all means, if you have lots of Cisco stock, cash in and enjoy life. But if you got soaked investing in Peapod, you may want to gander farther uplist.

http://www.lemeridienboston.com/

Rooms from $159 to $1330.

Tell me your plans asap, so I can get Sox tickets, golf courses, and a place to party.

Just email me at hoovah@excite.com, mail to 2 Appian Way, Allston MA 02134, or call 617.787.4125

For the majority of you, I have already spoken to you of this event and I am quite pleased that I have only heard from a small handful that can not attend. There are over 60 of these crazy invitations being read throughout the country, none of which were sent merely as a gesture. I truly encourage each of you to consider this opportunity to visit me, one another, a new city, and become a part of what may be the most obnoxious tradition yet, in our unprecedented circle of friends. I must reiterate the urgency in planning for this occasion, and am relying on such, so that this may all come to be without extreme difficulty.

Here we are again trying to accomplish a reunion of friends, acquaintances, (and perhaps in some cases slight dissociates) which in the eyes of the ordinary would be nearly impossible. I ask, hope, and challenge each of you to once again prove the difficult, rigorous, and sometimes greatly unaltered patterns of your life wrong; and meet me at my place for a drink and a laugh.

As mentioned in the opening of this communiqué, some things never seem to change in the course of a lifetime. Although illustrated in jest, the meaning is often tremendously bona fide. For those of you who are familiar with the core band of tenacious party-goers of which this party is compromised, you are certainly aware of the dedicated effort we commit to the existence of friendship and the satisfaction which correspondingly follows. For those of you who are not, perhaps this invitation illustrates my point. I am pleased once again to offer my home, ideas, and what seems to be life long duty of reuniting the most entertaining constituency. Thanks to all who have made this 3rd year possible; I believe another tradition has been born!

Happy 4th birthday to this developing tradition. They do grow up so quick. Recognizing the differences, challenges, and situations this crazy world continually places on our shoulders, I once again finish this invitation completely astonished with our incessant fellowship. If I may quote a response to my last big gig, "good fun, good times, good friends - I appreciate them all". I will trade you the enclosed in exchange for your attendance. Cheers to the Happys.

I skipped it to work at a crappy internet start-up and see my mom. Bad Sean. No cookie.

Am I F’in’ kidding? Do I look like I’m F’in kidding? This is the time to shine, boys and girls. Let us not go gently into that good middle-age. Boston is close enough for everyone to get to, even our world-travellers. Pugs did his duty for years, and now it is my turn to take the Olympic torch. Won’t you help me keep the dream alive? Why not drink your way thru yet another city, and see what stories may come of it? You have only your malaise to lose.

Plus, I’m very, very, very lonely.

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"I wanted to live deliberately, and not to find out, when it had ended, to find that I had not lived."

• Henry David Thoreau

Here's the breakdown from Boston:
MassPike W 
Take the left-hand exit, number 20, towards BRIGHTON/CAMBRIDGE
Merge onto CAMBRIDGE ST (curves to the right)
1/2 mile, over hill, at second light turn RIGHT onto N HARVARD ST
1 mile, turn left after Dunkin Donuts on SPUR STREET
Bear left on WESTERN AVENUE (should see park and Harvard Stadium across the street)
100 yards, at light, before shady used-car lot, left on RIVERDALE STREET
400 yards to end, left on RAYMOND.
Yellow house on left corner of RAYMOND and APPIAN WAY. #2

From CT and points west:
MassPike E 
Take the left-hand exit, number 18, towards BRIGHTON/CAMBRIDGE
Bear left off exit towards ALLSTON/BRIGHTON
Merge onto CAMBRIDGE ST (curves to the right)
1/2 mile, over hill, at second light turn RIGHT onto N HARVARD ST
1 mile, turn left after Dunkin Donuts on SPUR STREET
Bear left on WESTERN AVENUE (should see park and Harvard Stadium across the street)
100 yards, at light, before shady used-car lot, left on RIVERDALE STREET
400 yards to end, left on RAYMOND.
Yellow house on left corner of RAYMOND and APPIAN WAY. #2

hoovah@excite.com