Eduardo Tominelius Buscani was born in the year 1972 to two immigrant parents. His mother, Maria Guatemala Sanchez, was an illegal alien from Chile, and his father, Dante Lorenzo Buscani was a landed German imigrant. They lived in Little Oddesa New York in a cramped four floor walk up. Even as a baby Eduardo hated his life and vowed to escape. At the age of nine, his life was shattered when his parents were killed and made into stew by Russian imigrants. He himself lost his mouth in that unfortunate incident in an unknown manner.

He joined a troop of mines in 1982, and became a well known fixture in the New York off broadway scene. in 1986, he got his big break when his one man broadway play Italian Bunny became a hit. He went on to Hollywood in 1988 and starred in a series of critically acclaimed yet poorly accepted civil war comedies. He began snorting cocaine after his last movie, Confederate Bunny, failed. After a two month stint at the Betty Ford Clinic, he started writing an autobiography and was planning a new series for the fledgling UPN network. unfortunately all of these projects were shelved after he was shot leaving a pornographic cake store.

Pics of Eduardo in 3D!

Statistics

Name: Eduardo Tominelius Buscani
Age: 24
Place of Birth: Little Odessa, New York
Favorite Color: White
Pet Peeve: Russian Stew
Least Favorite Pet: Cats
Height: 4'8" (without ears)
Weight: 80 lbs.