Tuesday: Attempted to sit up. Slipped back down. Will make further attempts tomorrow.
Monday: Can no longer remember what I meant to say in this entry. Will attempt to ramble onwards and onwards about meaningless things. Like the other day. Some jerk stopped on a yellow light. Then he zoomed forward, stranding me stuck on a red with my nose in traffic. wait. that was today. damn. guess i fucked that up.
June 2nd 1998: Listened to Jolene's real audio entries. was inspired to write online diary to compete. Failed to think of anything. Read old diary entries I made in high school for inspiration. After reading decided to end this entry.
Today: I sat up in bed today, jolted by a thought. It struck me so suddenly that I almost slipped off my chair. I realized that I had nothing to write. Will try to keep thoughts to myself from now on.
Tomorrow: Somehow online journal is losing steam. Will attempt to pump more life into entries with lurid details of my life. Perhaps voyeurism will hold onto my audience. dh y l, asd\ sorry. hit head against the keyboard when I fell asleep during journal entry. Seem to be losing key reader of web page in interest. Still attempting to keep up with friends online voyeurism. Even Tina is one upping me. Thinking of personal details...details...I watched Drew Carey on tape today. no.no. not interesting enough. I...no too personal. damn. that would've been good to. will listen to final jolene real audio entry for inspiration.
11/23/98: I lied. I'll write while I listen. Perhaps I should attempt to update all my other pages before I write new ones. Or pursue my other interests: art, music, writing poetry and fiction. programming. Then I remembered that I have a history of losing focus on long term projects. Better just keep writing in this entry before I lose interest in this as well. no
Anno Domine (Year of their Lord) 1999
I woke up today and made a tuna fish sandwich. First I took out the jar and a knife, and started spreading the fish. After picking out the glass from the counter top, I tried to wipe it up best I could with the bread, but the knife fell on the floor and I think some fish fell too.
Today before Tomorrow after Yesterday:
5/18/99- Who says that Star Wars Episode 1 was a repeat of Star Wars? I certainly don't remember Luke slicing anyone in half with a light saber like Anakin did. Or what about Obi dying? Sure _That_ was a repeat - but they didn't make a clone in the original did they? Anyway, I guess I shouldn't give too much away. I'll just leave you pondering these words: Uncle Owen is Boba Fett's father.
July-Don't you hate it when people just latch onto one topic and never let go. There's always something that the new media just keeps blabbing about, on an on till you think you will throw up. And then they have interviews with schmucks on the street asking them there opinion on the "big event", like they know something about it.. I think you know what I'm taking about, that topic that fills the 5 o'clock news every day it seems: Furry hats. It was cute the first time I heard about it. Fine furry hats. I can see that. But now they just go on and on. Furry baseball hats. Furry Fez's. Furry head scarves. I blame America's youth. Those darn kids come up with the strangest fad and all of a sudden they have a picture of a hat on Entertainment Weekly. Oh well. Guess I'm just getting grumpy in my old age.
9/31/2000. I stared into the sun today.
Today is May Day - that international tribute to the workers of America. Who we all know united together, to form the first labour unions of marriage. But with todays divorce rate, no wonder why organized labour is looking more disorganized than ever. Its because of lack of palm pilots. How can you organize without them (Lord knows I can't seem to - ask anyone)? And do our brave pilots get respect? NO! Because all they care about is the bottom line - not the top - and the top line is what needs our help most. So when your out there, celebrating May Day with your family and friends, gathered around the May Day tree, think of those who need your help most. And after doing that send me a check made out to Daniel Eig (please put on the memo of the check "non-pyramid scheme scam" so I can keep track of which one this is for).
Turkey Day+2.5
I was driving today when I wondered about my destination. I wondered what it was. Should I be driving around without one? Is that why those other people are staring at me? Can you drive in a mall and just say you're window shopping?
They say driving is relaxing, but tell that to the people stuck to my car. Does insurance cover that? Why won't he get off my door? Anyway - eventually I got home - but I'm not sure from where.
Your Birthday? Congratulations!
I tripped over my ego today. I looked back and there it was, looking so small and dusty. And a shiny penny stuck in it. I guess I must have left it in my car when I went to sign a check or something. So it was worth getting a bloody nose to be reunited with my ego. After all, without my ego I wouldn't be the all powerful god like creature I am today!
Are you reading this?
You are reading this right now Joel. Thats right. Yep. And it keeps updating while you read it. Thats one crazy journal entry. Real time blogging. Another innovation brought to you by the Fan Page.
Todayish (plus or minus tomorrow) - I've been resisting putting this down for a while, but its obvious to me now that Joel's hair follicles are in a conspiracy with Joel to shut me out. I don't know how things got this bad - but I think it might have started a long time ago - when I first noticed them hiding from me. And now when I come over - they barely ever come out to see me - if I do see them they are often hiding underneath a hat. And when was the last time they called me anyway? Why won't they come out from under their hat?
September 20th, 2006
Have an opinion on daily activities? Tell me in my guest book!
11/22/98: 9 minutes long. I can write for that long can't I? cmon cmon. get on with it. thanksgiving. gotcha. still ending. schedule. sure you are. babysit. money. mmmm. money. kids? whatever. died? what crack is your sister on? I think shes
thinking of that director. hmmm. I seemed to have lost my internet connection. doh. well I'll keep writing anyway. Stream of conciousness. that is what I was good at in creative writing. You know I feel like drawing. Buffering. bufferin. toilet!
great. gotta listen again from the beginning. sister. heard it before. hurry up. cmon school. heard it.larry? who the hell is larry? cmon get to where i was. schedule. yeah yeah. sister smokes crack. i heard this. ooh close to where we left off.ok new stuff. walmart. what is this commercial radio? 48 pounds of compound? what did it cost?hmmm. 25 cents a cup? what are they drinking it? christmas shopping? before thanksgiving? guns? i dunno if that is the way to go...oven? cool. repaint it blue.
who cares. its a stinking light bulb...dreams. sounding like lynne now.what? no detail? ok detail. here we go. ooh ooh. juice.
if thats a prophecy or supernatural I'll eat my hat. and i don't even eat a hat. they'll be fine. relax. cannibalism. freud would love this. oh yeah. trains. i can feel the freud.yeah it was a good movie. when? oh yeah that train. i suppose that makes sense. so you did read the guestbook entry! well wheres my reply?!?!
bah. shes must have made this before my entry was made. flip side? of what. what the. oh the recording ended. thats enough procrastinating. I'm gonna draw. And i mean have a hat. freudian slip.
later.
It was around this time I decided that I would go to work.
After taking a shower to get hair out of my drain I realized that I should sing then instead of during fuck shit damn gratuitous cursing. Probably shouldn't do that while I am on the phone at work either.
Anyway, after I told the fucker to get a life and stop worrying about goddamn software I politely took my leave from the bathroom and went home.
The commute was pretty boring, except for the part where I drove and stuff. Bernie is always telling me that I shouldn't do this or that when I drive, but I tend to ignore him as all my friends know.
Well anyway, thats why I think the Gap is way more lame than Old Navy
I think the mirror is staring at me again. I keep looking at it through the corner of my eye. It thinks its being sneaky, looking at my so I don't know its watching. But I know. Tomorrow I will draw a moustace on it with my felt tip marker, and see if I can provoke a reaction.
15 minutes ago. 5 minutes from now.
I was watching you again. I could see you at your computer. At first I was tantalized. Why would they want to see my "private" journal? They aren't related to me... they aren't dating me; or so my investigators tell me. But after bugging your car, sorting through your garbage and pawing through your sock drawer when your not home (I like them) it became obvious why. And thats why the next time your phone rings...it will be me!
February 30th - 2004.
I'm sad to announce today that I have broken up with my shoes. I've known my shoes for a long time, but they just didn't understand my needs. Plus they were always dirty - why can't they clean up after themselves? The bastards - how I hate them now - always underfoot. Well good riddence I say! My new walking shoes are better anyway - you hear me Tennis Shoes?! I don't need you - and I never wanted you. Now stop calling to me. Augh! You never learn.
I googled myself today. I'm still #1 among Daniel Eig's and Dan Eig's, but among Eig's total, I've dropped to page 27. Spencer, Wayne, Jonathan, Edith, Karsten, Michael, Karin, Warren, Norman - not to mention all the acronym's with EIG - all beat me. What does it friggin take to be #1?
Return to my Home Page! Back - back I say!