Here's a perfect chance for all you 'net Picassos out there to prove your talent! Just draw "deadbeat" and send 'em in to our P.O. Box (Address deleted, because... well.... the page is dead!) The reader who most accurately portrays our alcohol-addicted pal, becomes the proud winner of 2 crisp right-from-the-bank dollar bills (bearing a pretty flattering rendering of George Washington, our nation's 3rd president... or was he.. first? Ah, hell who cares? Point is, it's legal tender!), and a flattened bottle cap from deadbeat's favorite drink- Richard's Wild Irish Rose!! Just think of the fun you'll have flashin your green around town, should you provide us with the best sketch! Why, you'll be the life of the party! So put down the friggin' mouse & grab a pencil, pen, crayon.. Hell, write it in your own blood for all we care! Just submit it TODAY!!!
All entries must be postmarked by Sept.
30, 2000. If you're too scared to give us your real name
and e-mail address, make up one, or submit your
neighbor's. All entries
must be real artwork. No printing out deadbeat & signing
the bottom. That shit don't fly 'round here, pal.
Tip: enclosing a nominal beer
money donation will tend to sway the judges in your
favor. Fairness is for the olympics.
Don't end up like deadbeat.
Stay in school, stay away from the booze, and for the love
of Christ himself, never write a dumb webpage, complete
with zany contests thrown in as filler. Thanks fer
participatin'.