Travels with Gomer South of the Border

(G.M.'ed by Ash - Adventure from Transdimensional Turtles (TM) of Palladium Books) Buy the Book!!!

Group Status

We welcome John Ross into our group to hopefully fill the void left by Tsunami when he left. The Metal Juggernaut and Shroud are still around and kicking some bad guy butt, and Dark Rider returned to the base to report for duty after a brief little departure. Lukewarm departed, wanting to have nothing to do with Dark Rider (Read why here!), and will most likely go back to his job.

A "Dino"mite Time

Cruising along the streets in the famous Hippy-Mobile (total chick magnet), doing the average patrolling after actually going to work this morning. The tunes are on of course, but the volume's kept low so you can still hear stuff. Going down the street and I hear this scream. Not a scream of a person, more like a cat or something coming from inside a building.

I stopped the car, hopped out, and ran inside the building. Inside it looked like the labrotory of mad scientist, with things scattered all over the place. Then I see in the back a dinosaur looking thing jumping up trying to bite a scientist who's clinging to the top of a washing machine. The dinosaur thing was only 6' tall, maybe it's a baby.

I charged the dinosaur and knocked it on the ground, then punched it in the face a few times until it was bloody, and then just tried to hold it down to the ground. I took my cell phone out of my pocket and threw it up to the scientist, and told him to hit speed dial #2, Dark Rider's van.

Dark Rider and John ran into the building and John held the dino down with magic. Dark Rider called up Shroud and told him to come over here also, and I started asking the scientist questions. He thanked us and then introduced himself as Gomer Farquahar, a time traveler, which would certainly explain the dino. He went on to tell us about how he had created 2 time machines. One that lets you see different times, and the other that actually lets you bring stuff and go to that time. Here's the story he gave us as I remember it: He was looking at an allosaurus with it's mother back in the crutacious time period. Then he left, only when he arrived back in our time the allosaurus had somehow come along with him, and that led up to when I came in and helped him.

We decided it best to get the allosaurus back to its time, so that we don't possibly screw up the stream of time, and there by possibly screw up the world dramatically. (You never know what this allosaurus accomplished in his own time :) I asked him if we couldn't just send it back the same way, but he said he didn't know how, so we decided we'd have use the other time machine, only it had to be hooked up to a car first.

We tied up the dinosaur with really thick rope and tossed him in DR's van, and loaded the time machine in the Hippy Mobile. Next me and Gomer went to the supermarket after getting a few bucks from DR, and bought out the meat department to feed this stupid dino until we get the Time machine hooked up to DR's van.

We went back home and found out that they put the dinosaur in our little holding cell / closet, and we went to work hooking up the time machine. Actually I basically watched them hook up the machine, cus I don't know much about time machines. Then after it was all hooked up, they found out they did it wrong and then had to do it all over again and by now everybody was sick of it and it was getting late, so it would have to wait until tomorrow.

The next day I woke up to the smell of eggs that Shroud was making, the other guys were up and working on the time machine again. DR called us into work...again (It's a wonder we still have a job :) About supper time we were all getting ticked off at the vehicles again, were eating in the garage when something happened and DR's go-cart ran into his motorcycle, which then ran into his van with the time machine and I blacked out.

Back to the Future

I awoke out in a field surrounded by forest with the others, all of DR's vehicles were with us and in fine shape, but the time machine was totally trashed. After having a brief conversation we decided we must have teleported accidentally. I wanted a better look at the surrounding area so Shroud, who was nice enough to do so, flew me up into the air.

While we were looking around I spotted a bunch of mutant dogs running from two power armour things. We decided to check it out to see if we could get some help so we flew over there in front of the two power armour guys. We tried talking to them but they just started charging right at us, so I charged right back, knocked my guy on his butt, punched him twice and he was coma, what a whimp. Shroud's guy was also in a coma when I looked over. We didn't know what to do then, so we used our cell phones to call DR, and surprisingly enough, they worked.

DR came over and we hauled the bodies into the van after Shroud did some quick medical work on em, and then went back to camp. We stayed there for the night, and the next morning when we woke up and were scrounging for food in DR's van, I saw the mutant dogs in the bushes (damn I love Advanced site). I walked over to them, and tried to talk with them. They spoke a different dialect of English, but English none-the-less.

The others kinda came around also, and we asked them what time we were in and where we were. They told us some time A.B. (Later to be found out it means After the Bomb) And that we were in the east. They were going to the West and they said there were a few cities out that way, so we figured we'd join them, and hopefully find some missing parts for our time machine. They also thanked me and Shroud for defeating the two guys. I guess the guys are from the east, and there is some sort of the faction there that doesn't like mutants at all. The faction was seemingly growing more powerful daily, so the mutant dogs took off for the West.

We managed to get all the dogs packed into DR's vehicles, and we slowly drove down a dirt pathway to the west. We traveled on for a few days until we reached a city. We had to stop to get gas and find some food. At the gas station, gas costed $10 a gallon, and we needed around 40 gallons. DR paid for it, and the guy started laughing at our money. Opps... Luckily DR remembered he had an Old Kingdom Gold coin on him from when he met our Palladuim characters, and the guy gladly excepted that. (The coin was probably worth 10 times what we used it for however).

I was looking around and saw 3 mutant rats pushing a car, if you could call it a car. The vehicle had bullet holes, rust, scratches, dents, the whole works. I went to go help them out if I could. They said their car had broken down and they needed somebody to fix it. I called DR over and he got it up and running in no time. The rats gave him a bag of gold for the job.

For the next few days, me and DR repaired vehicles that came in and out of town for money, while Gomer and John tried to fix the time machine, and Shroud found things to do also. Then Gomer started to get sick, and I wasn't feeling to great either. John said something about time travel sickness, I really don't know, but he mumbled a few words and I felt better again. He did that with the others too.

Gomer and John eventually just started losing hope and said we'd have to move on to a larger city, and try and find the right parts so we packed up and headed out to Bakersville. I guess it's one of the largest cities in the West. We arrived there without encountering to many problems, except for the unkept highways with foot deep potholes all over.

We came into town, and were expecting to do the same setup as before, but first we had to get out of the car and have a nice drink or two over at the tavern. We went into the tavern and our attention was immediately caught by 2 mutants. They didn't look like the rest of the people, one was a mutant prairie dog wearing old western Texas garb and even had the gun to go with it, and the other was a donkey, big and stocky, he also had on more traditional clothing.

We went over to take to them and the prairie dog introduced himself as Lazlo, and his partner as Jose. He said they're looking for people with vehicles to help them fight against the people who were battling Texas, and he needed help in stopping them. We decided we'd go with him to see what was up there, but first it was time for bed as the sun was going down.

Deep in the Heart of Texas

The next few days we headed out to Texas. When we first got close to there we stopped for a bite to eat. I was just tooling around and then I saw at a city down the road 3 mutants. A vulture, a fox, and a road runner, and they were causing trouble. We hopped onto our vehicles and floored it there. I caught the fox with the ramprow on the front of DR's van, and the vulture was taken out by DR, and John. Shroud went chasing after the road runner.

A little while later Shroud came back, and said he couldn't catch the road runner because it ran into a camp with some of his friends.

(Next Update) The compound was more of a building then a camp. I took Lazlo in DR's van and we went out recruiting people from the haciendas to help us in our assault. Most of the men were reluctant to come and help because attacks have been made before only for all the men to be shot down and nothing accomplished plus there was rumors flying around that a dragon was with them. The vehicles were the key for the enemy, considering their compound was surrounded by at least a half mile of sand / desert on all sides.

Me and Lazlo met a man by the name of Federico who seemed to be old buddies with Lazlo. Federico promised us his help, and that he could talk some of the villagers into helping us; so we left Federico to do that and we left back for the others, who were looking for a place to stay at the time with Jose. We found them and then went to bed.

The next morning I was woken up early by Lazlo, and I got out of bed and shuffled on into the dining room to find the others coming in too. After breakfast Lazlo cleared the table and we set out to make plans. We had lots of ideas for plans but some were quite dangerous and we didn't want to risk the life of Consuela (who was kidnapped by the Banditos).

It was finally decided to send out Shroud to get all the information he could about the base including a vehicle count and in the meantime we would all gather around the hillside just off the desert.

After assembling everybody we had about 77 men, maybe half with guns, the 3 vehicles, the 4 of us, Jose, Lazlo, and Federico. Just then Shroud came flying back and reported to us that they had 12 motorcycles, 4 jeeps, 2 vans, and that he couldn't find Consuelo. There are doors inside on the left of the building, the back, the front, including a large and small garage door on the front. After a little discussing we decided to send Shroud out to start hacking up the tires of the vehicles, but before he'd leave he'd give me a call and keep the line open so he could yell if he needed help. Shroud went...

"Damn, it looks like they had a spy on us Jack (Metal Jugg), umm leeme see he does......... It's just a coyote, and he ran into the garage, ah crap, now they're bringing out vehicles. It's looks like we don't have the surprise attack anymore."

"You want us to come yet, we're in DR's van and ready to go."

"No, wait a sec., I'm going to go after some of the tires, when I say 10, I want you guys to wait for a couple of seconds, then come. Alright?"

"Gotcha, be careful"

I took my position in the turret, and then over the phone I hear gunshots and Shroud screams "NOW". DR jammed on the accelerator and we were off. We cruised down and DR managed to take out one of the two vans with his guns. There was alot of heavy fire on the turret, so before I knew it the controls were fizzled, and then I hear a small explosion, coming from below me.

"AH SHHHIIII" was all I heard as Lazlo, Jose, and John were jumping from the van, I leapt out of the turret just in time as I see the back end of the DR's van explode! I just laid there waiting for the dust to settle a bit, and then I look up and see DR in his hover seat carrying John back to the hill, and also about a dozen automatic guns pointed at me. I was taken prisoner with Lazlo and Jose.

Inside the Compound

We were dragged into the compound and brought into a room where we saw Consuelo tied up and we were introduced to the "head" bandito, Hancho. We were brought over and sat on chairs, and just then I saw who I think is Shroud invisible with my infrared vision.

(Next Update) Hancho says to take us into another room, because he wants us to see the demise of our friends. So we are all taken up and hualed over to the window, and I look out and I see Dark Rider speeding toward the compound. He trys to attack another motorcycle with a vulture and a lizard on it w/ Machineguns, but missed. Then I see this huge dinosaur type thing come charging at them and Dark Rider lost control of the motorcycle and it started skidding against the ground, and neither Dark Rider or John went flying off however. Then the Vulture started unloading on John and around 40 bullets later, John was dead. I jumped out the window (Like Hancho could do anything to me :), landed, rolled over and shot a fireball at the dino becuase it started going after Dark Rider and it looked like he was seriously hurt already. It turned around and came charging at me. I charged at it punched it as hard as I could (doing very little damage to behemoth), and we started battling it out until I saw the motorcycle turning towards me, and I'm a lot more afraid of machineguns then a dinosaur so fired a fireball at the motorcycle, I missed the first time I shot, but the second time it went straight into the fuel compartment and BOOM, the vulture and the lizard were fried.

The dinosaur seemed to be scared off or something, and it took off into the desert. I ran over to Dark Rider to help stop the bleeding from spots all over his body. Peasants started running down the hill now and I caught one that knew doctoring type skills so he took a look at DR, and then I ran for the compound again. On the way there I saw the banditos vehicles leaving the garage and heading for the desert.

When I reached the window I saw that Rand had the situation well at hand with a knife to Hanchos throat. The other banditos were being held by Lazlo and Jose. One of them was missing though, the roadrunner guy. I hopped up onto the roof and looked around and just going up the hill I saw him. I grabbed Hancho and Shroud went after him, and a few minutes later he was back with the guy. We let the peasants have the banditos to put in their jails, and we salvaged the stuff we could out of the bandito base and then burned it to the ground.

3 Months Later

Dark Rider has been working on the van, and Gomer on the teleporter around the clock trying to get them operational, yet progress has come to all but a standstill. Both have run out of parts, and I can't seem to find enough work for these two to buy all the parts.

I was starting to think that we'd never get back when one day a man by the name of Lord Cekini Garvan approached us and asked us if we'd seen a man by the name of John Ross. We found out that he was an assistant timelord. We told him what happened to John, and what happened to us, and he was nice enough to help us get back into our own time.

The stories of our adventures are far from finished.... Please continue to read our next adventure: Triple Threat

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