Too fat to fly, Pigasus, the winged cat, hitchhikes to Mt. Olympus. Nerdlin the magician bungles the cure for King Arthur's cold. Suddenly the king turns into a warthog *You shoulda used more newt!* Ineptune, the bumbling god of the sea, inadvertently wiped out a small village with a tidal wave of drool. Persephone, goddess of spring, was persued by Partyon, god of spring break. Fed up with carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, Fatlas broke for donuts. Having defeated the diet trolls, Garfield, god of gluttony, returned the Sacred Sundae to Valhalla.
The Real Scoop On Cats:
Cats know better. They just don't care.
Cats can see in the dark... Just not very well.
Cats can sleep anywhere... Anytime... Through anything.
A cat's courage... Is equal to the strength of a dog's chain.
Cats can hear a can opener... From a distance of twelve miles.
Cats need their space... And your space, too.
Incredible Insults:
Dating Disses -
Your dates don't wear much. / Usually just a flea collar.
You're like disposable diapers. / Always getting dumped.
I hear you had a tot 'n' heavy date. / You were hot, and your date was heavy.
What time does your date have to be back in the sty?
Job Jabs -
To teachers: "I wish I only had to work nine months out of the year."
To car salesmen: "Are you between honest jobs?"
To exterminators: "When you were a kid did you like to pull the wings off flies?"
To plumbers: "Every time I flush, I'm reminded of you."
Crazy Curses:
May you wake up with a disgruntled buffalo on your head!
May huge weeds grow in your belly button!
May you pick your nose on national TV!
May you go snorkeling in a pool of dog drool!
Looking' bad (and i don't mean good!):
Appearances can be deceiving. / Or in your case, disgusting.
The last time I saw something that looked like you, I flushed it!
Can I have your picture? / I want to scare my sister.
Your looks aren't half-bad. / They're all bad.
Strange But True:
Odie moonlights as a chia pet.
In a former life, Jon was the village dweeb.
Garfield is so lazy, he once had his coffee intravenously.
Odie can lick his own back.
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Dating Disses -
Your dates don't wear much. / Usually just a flea collar.
You're like disposable diapers. / Always getting dumped.
I hear you had a tot 'n' heavy date. / You were hot, and your date was heavy.
What time does your date have to be back in the sty?
Job Jabs -
To teachers: "I wish I only had to work nine months out of the year."
To car salesmen: "Are you between honest jobs?"
To exterminators: "When you were a kid did you like to pull the wings off flies?"
To plumbers: "Every time I flush, I'm reminded of you."
Crazy Curses:
May you wake up with a disgruntled buffalo on your head!
May huge weeds grow in your belly button!
May you pick your nose on national TV!
May you go snorkeling in a pool of dog drool!
Looking' bad (and i don't mean good!):
Appearances can be deceiving. / Or in your case, disgusting.
The last time I saw something that looked like you, I flushed it!
Can I have your picture? / I want to scare my sister.
Your looks aren't half-bad. / They're all bad.
Strange But True:
Odie moonlights as a chia pet.
In a former life, Jon was the village dweeb.
Garfield is so lazy, he once had his coffee intravenously.
Odie can lick his own back.
Return to the main page
Member of the Internet Link Exchange
Job Jabs -
To teachers: "I wish I only had to work nine months out of the year."
To car salesmen: "Are you between honest jobs?"
To exterminators: "When you were a kid did you like to pull the wings off flies?"
To plumbers: "Every time I flush, I'm reminded of you."
Crazy Curses:
May you wake up with a disgruntled buffalo on your head!
May huge weeds grow in your belly button!
May you pick your nose on national TV!
May you go snorkeling in a pool of dog drool!
Looking' bad (and i don't mean good!):
Appearances can be deceiving. / Or in your case, disgusting.
The last time I saw something that looked like you, I flushed it!
Can I have your picture? / I want to scare my sister.
Your looks aren't half-bad. / They're all bad.
Strange But True:
Odie moonlights as a chia pet.
In a former life, Jon was the village dweeb.
Garfield is so lazy, he once had his coffee intravenously.
Odie can lick his own back.
Return to the main page
Crazy Curses:
May you wake up with a disgruntled buffalo on your head!
May huge weeds grow in your belly button!
May you pick your nose on national TV!
May you go snorkeling in a pool of dog drool!
Looking' bad (and i don't mean good!):
Appearances can be deceiving. / Or in your case, disgusting.
The last time I saw something that looked like you, I flushed it!
Can I have your picture? / I want to scare my sister.
Your looks aren't half-bad. / They're all bad.
Strange But True:
Odie moonlights as a chia pet.
In a former life, Jon was the village dweeb.
Garfield is so lazy, he once had his coffee intravenously.
Odie can lick his own back.
Return to the main page
| Member of the Internet Link Exchange |