I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
******* If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.***************
Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
Flush twice-It's a long way to the kitchen.
God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.
To do is to be. To be is to do. Do be do be do.
At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Make love, not war. -Hell, do both, get married!
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
This bubble gum tastes like rubber. Yeah, but it lasts a long time. And it blows great bubbles.
Why do drunk men miss the toilet? Why do sober men?