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[M.E.]

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This area is designed as a living paper for me.

To just write what's on my mind, or thoughts on

the day. Hopefully I'll keep this area updated.

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11/07/01

: Was listening to music and some lyrics shot into my head, I usually just forget them but I decided to write them down today.

"There's a ripple in the mirror

and I can't seem to find myself."

maybe I'll be able to play with these and actually make something productive. Just a note...they don't related to anything really in me, they were just random and sounded cool. And some more:

"There's a crack in the glasses

and I can't see you clearly."

Feel free to play with these yourself. (No I'm not talking to the journal'esque thing which this is :P

+N/P [Radio] Collective Soul - Next home coming

~ Peace, Adam S

11/05/01

: Well, I finished reading The Pigman last night, finally! Zindel really does a good job building up to the end of this book.

" We had trespassed too-been where we didn't belong, and we were being punished for it. Mr. Pignati had paid with his life. But when he died something in us had died as well.

There was no one else to blame anymore. No Bores or Old Ladies or Nortons, or Assassins waiting at the bridge. And there was no place to hide-no place across any rive for a boatman to take us.

Our life would be what we made of it-nothing more, nothing less.

Baboons.

They build their own cages, we could almost hear the Pigman whisper, as he took his children with him."

A lot of what happens here related to the book(you'l have to read to understand more). But I really like the ending sentence in all that most. (The Pigman had just recently died a death due to heart-attack after hearing his favorite baboon Bobo has died.) By saying as he died he took his children with him, Zindel makes the comparison to the two kids growing up or losing their childhood due to the realization of the mans death. By making the two teens see what can really happen when you grow old, Zindel shows the reader what carelessness with your younger years can easily lead to-a loss of your childhood forever.

*sorry if that fails to make a lot of sense, its not school, just something I felt the need to state on my own.

These last chapters also made me think more on my own later in the night. I'm almost 17 years old. Thats almost 17 years of my life gone. Its strange to look back and see all the things you've done, and how you were. Its sorta saddening to see yourself grow up and losing all the innocence that I once had. In 17 more years ill be 34, that's old! (well right now). Looking back at what I can remember I think i've enjoyed my childhood, and well, some of the memories are good :P I hope over the next years as I finish High School, go to college, get a job, and who knows what else, that I can still remember these last 17 years of my life. That I can still remember how I felt under certain occasions, how I acted to certain events, and just how to have fun. If you lose your childhood, you lose a part of you, 17 years would be half my life at 34, imagine losing half your life!

I see things differently these days, mostly jaded images of what I learned over the last few years. (We didn't really win every war for example). But when I was younger I didn't care for this anyway, all I wanted was to enjoy myself and experience more. I think that's a major thing we lose. The will to experience more, to gain, to learn, to see, and to take in. Those are all things we do naturally as a child, but as a "mature adult" we have to analyze everything to make it fit in someway; not just excepting it for what its value is.

I think if we can all remember some part of the "child" in us, that we can continue to grow throughout our life(or in my case, the next 17yrs). If your lucky enough to still have that child in you today, don't ever let it go, brandish it and never let the memories fade.

[/end statement] wow...that was a lot of writing...take that stupid (assumingly) low AP English average!

Joni Mitchell does one of my favorite songs that happens to relate to this subject, so I thought I'd paste the lyrics here.

Joni Mitchell - "The Circle Game"

Yesterday a child came out to wonder
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star
Then the child moved ten times round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, when you're older, must appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

Sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels thru the town
And they tell him,
Take your time, it won't be long now
Till you drag your feet to slow the circles down

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

So the years spin by and now the boy is twenty
Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

+N/P Deep Summer (Compilation) R-tyme - R-Theme

~ Peace and Childhood :) , Adam S

11/04/01

: Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without my music collection. Took me some 3+ hours to finish my french project, so I went through a wide variety of my CDs that i hadn't listened to in a while. Helped out at a retreat yesterday with 7th graders, it was a good experience to be in that kind of situation again. Met some cool new people to :) I applied to work at media play for a few weeks, hopefully I can make some money I don't really need before Indoor Track starts up. I can't wait for indoor!! X-C was a good experience, I'm glad I made the decision to switch over. Next year I'm gonna push the limits now that I understand the sport a lot better.

+N/P Eagles - Hotel California (The Last Resort)

~ Peace, Adam S

10/31/01

: Happy Halloween :)

Good Friday - Cowboy Junkies

Sat at my window watched the world
Wake up this morning
Purple sky slowly turning golden,
Distant elms so orange
You'd swear they're burning

All this flowing water
Has got my mind wandering.
Do you ever finally reach
A point of knowing
Or do you just wake up one day
And say, I am going?

What will I tell you
When you ask me why I'm crying
Will I point above
At the Red Tail gracefully soaring
Or down below where it's prey
Is quietly trembling?

Two thousand years ago Jesus is left there hanging.
Purple sky slowly turning golden.
Cowards at his feet loudly laughing.
Loved ones stumbling homeward
Their words reeling.
Red Tail above my head quietly soaring.
Waters turn from ice, creak is roaring.
He says, enough of all this shit I am going.

Found that on an older CD my mom gave me that she didn't like. Those lyrics aren't to bad, eh? I kinda like them ;)

+ N/P Travis - Invisible Band (Flowers In The Window)

~ Peace, Adam

10/28/01

: Yey..went to Lindsay B's Halloween party tonight, and had a lot of fun. I got to be the human pillow :) Threw my Winamp Play up because I found out you could from this site (www.stephthegeek.com) By the way, this girl sings and writes music from the heart... go to the site, not walk..but run.. and download her mp3s under her music section.. she has one heck of voice. Reminds me of early Tori Amos.

+ N/P Bt - R&R (Dreaming [Science Dept. Mix])

~ Vibes , Adam

10/24/01

: Its amazing what a 17/40 on a physics test can do to your grade. Not only that..but what it can do to your great mood :P I really don't know how it happened...just blanked out completely, and now im digging myself out of one hell of a hole. On the lighter side, bought my BT - R&R cd, it kicks some dancing ass, I love the spanish guitar on the Remember mix...mmmmmm

+ N/P - Silence

~ Adam

10/22/01

: Interestingly enough its taken the sounds from a early 70's band combined with the catchy euro-pop lyrics of a recent band to make me feel great lately. If anyone doesn't believe music can alter you mood, I definitely beg to differ. The Eagle's early blues-ish classic rock sound mixed with Travis's uplifting catchy melodies have just made my last few days. I've been getting a lot of sleep, reading my book, and mainly feeling great about myself. I kinda like it :) On another note, BT's R&R is released tomorrow; I will own this before the day is out :) .. Incubus's new CD is also released, but that will have to wait. BT here I come!

+ N/P - BT "Dreaming" Maxi-Single

~ Peace , Adam

10/17/01

: OooOo look two days in a row! Did one of the longest runs I've ever done today. It was some hour and fifth teen

min. long. I think my left hip got a little injured in the process but hopefully that gets better. Overall the day was middle-ish. Nothing to exciting or boring. I finally got to updating this page to with another writing we had to do for English class.

N/P - Bt "Satellite"

~ Adam

10/16/01

: Well, I was planning on writing about something else happy..but leave it to my parents to ruin the mood. I hate when they argue..its one of the few things that actually can annoy me. It seems to be mainly my Mom from all my observations. She lacks completely in the area of debate skills, she only sees that her side is right, and no one else's ever can be. And she will just keep going on even if she must know she's wrong, grrrrrr. On the other side of things...I had a great XC race today, definitely my best one this year. It felt so good during the race, I loved it. I bought the new Travis cd, Invisible Band. I really like it, the songs are real catchy and its just happy, which helps contrast all this war crap lately. Grr..more mom yelling...

+ N/P - My moms useless annoying prattle abouut divorce that REALLY annoys me, I hate when she decides to go into this mode.

[/end rant]

~ Adam :(

10/10/01

: The date looks interesting typed out... :P ...Two days till

NYC! I can't wait. However on the otherhand I'm gonna miss a get together of my camp friends on friday night which is kinda sad cause I love everyone from this summer so much and our group is great together! :) ... More on life: Has any one else ever wondered about patterns. Lately I've been noticing a lot of things that happened some time ago are affecting a lot of whats going on today in my life. It seems kinda weird to see connections with each thing I've wound up doing. It makes me wonder.. and believe. So much else is on my mind..I'll try to write more on it tomorrow.

+ N/P Joydrop - (cd) Viberate

~ Adam S

10/08/01

: Yea I know I haven't kept this updated as much as I should

have been. But times time...and these days it seems to get

less then more. I love this Delerium song playing right now,

the lyrics are just mmmm.... (ill post them below). Anyway..

life as of lately; Decently exciting for the most part, new

patterns and ideas seem to be showing themselves readily,

or in otherwords, I've been busy doing to much thinking :P

Was bored out of my mind today..so I finally picked up a book

I'd been meaning to read sooner or later. It's the Pigman... not

bad so far..I got through 50 some pages today...should finish it

in a day or two, and I'll pass my summary of how it went. So far its

pretty cool because it uses conflicting personalities with the girl

boy writing to express an interesting view of some of societies ideas

and topics. The girl is mainly obsessed with psychoanalysis and Freud

while she seems to miss looking at her own faults.

Underwater --- By Delerium
-------------------------
Something fearless in your eyes
something careless about your smile
something fragile when you hold your breath
and when you move
you move right through me

fingertips so gently on my skin
I'm underwater
I feeel the flood begin
fingertips so gently on my skin
you're taking over and over again

shed your armour
spin your web
hypnotise me with the longest stare
make your promise
or maybe it's a threat
'cos when you look
you look right through me

we're flesh and bone
together and alone
and we're looking for a home

silver moonlight fills the sky
calling gently to the evening tide
you're unfolding right before my eyes
and when you move
you move right through me

-----------------------------------

+ N/P Delerium : Daylight

~ Peace and Vibes; Adam

9/26/01

: Trying to do justice to a place you really know and care

about in heart is not the easy task. Spent an hour+ trying

to describe somewhere at my camp. First attempt wasn't

to successful so I made a second attempt with some camp

reflecting music and I connected a lot better! I chose the

area for quiet time (incase you know what I'm talking about

from camp). Otherwise, I'll try to type it up sooner or later

because I put a lot of effort into this assignment and I think

it turned out pretty well! :)

+ N/P BT - "The Road to Lostwithiel"

o ~ Adam

9/25/01

: I'm finally getting the full hang of XC. And I'm starting

to really like the races. Todays race felt great. Hope-

fully I can keep my hard work up and continue to improve!

Little rainy today, but it kinda makes things more at ease

for working.

+ N/P - Underworld "Cowgirl" (from Bootlegg Babies)

o Peace and Vibes ~ Adam

9/24/01

: " I pray, the reckoning ball is waning

the silent light is coming..

its come to take us home"

+ N/P - BT "Satellite">

o ~ Adam

9/23/01

: Just a little thing I've realized over time....

Never think what you do, say, or act doesn't effect

someone else in someway. Words or actions you might

think meaningless with time might still be ringing in some-

one else's ears many years later. I've kinda seen it my self

over the years, so I just wanted to point it out. The nice-

ness you show now may still bring happiness years down

the line.

+ N/P - Jewel "Who will save your soul&qquot;

o Peace ~ Adam

9/21/01

: Little song I wrote pretty spontaneously around

quarter to 8 tonight. Kinda ironic to the lyrics, it

started to rain as soon as I finished.

Tabs (pretty simple) :

[Go to the beat of the words with first cord until last

two syllables of sentence, then follow tab again. Repeat

for each sentence.] After the chorus I suggest you add

a little personal improv then head back in to the song.

Overall the song is meant to be done quickly until the last

line. Then slow the words down until the last one which I

suggest to let hang and fade with the last chord.

o	o	o
o	o	o
16	15	o
o	o	16
o	o	o
o	o	o

Lyrics : Lost In The Woods

Daniel was lost in the woods

Thought he knew who he was

Daniel was lost in the woods

Looked up at the sun

Thought he saw the future

But he was wrong

[Chorus...

Daniel was lost in the woods

.....]

Met the man he thought he was

Sung the song he thought he knew

Married the girl he thought he knew

[Chorus]

Got the job he wanted to

Lost the time he thought he knew

Grew apart from the few

[Chorus]

Saw that he grew old to soon

Died before he really knew

Lived the life he thought he knew

Daniel was lost in the woods

9/20/01

: Now.

Words (C) Adam Syty - Trackstar5@aol.com - Started on 09|20|01