The Weekly Newsletter

Attagirl and daughter, in a Colorado jail(?) . . . LOL!!! ;)         Mr.Happy not exactly looking his normal happy self!

From a field of 28 highly competent teams, Attagirl and MrHappy win out over Tis1 and JimboLimbo to become the fourth winners of the weekly Partners' Euchre Tournament. Attagirl was a little nervous about the whole interview thingie and commented, "I'm not a speaker....I don't know what else to say, if I had thought I was going to win I would have had a speech prepared!" Next time she'll be ready!! Atta, who got her nickname by dropping some of the letters from her real name (Annetta) and adding girl, told us "I am from Kentucky and am a housewife. I have been happily married for 30 years and I have three children and four grandchildren and maybe one on the way! My accomplishment in my life is that I have managed to stay married for 30 years and hope to stay married for another 30!" Sorry guys . . . this one is taken! And from one extreme to the other . . . MrHappy, who has a small computer networking company, said "Ummm. I'm from Omaha, NE. 29 years old and I love all games! I sleep 10 hours a day and I never cook! I am happily single! LOL!" Yes, all you single ladies out there . . . he IS available! ;) He says telling us where his nickname came from would "go against the grain of the strong moral fiber Westwood preserves LOL!" They list their hobbies as (attagirl) "Well I like all kinds of games, mainly card games, love to be outside, like to swim and read whenever the puter doesn't take all my time." (mrhappy) "I like photography." The winners had never even played together before Friday night but they each, graciously, gave the other one credit for the win. Atta "All I know is that I wouldn't have been able to win this tournament without Scott because he made me feel comfortable and at ease with myself....Like we have been playing for years!" MrHappy "The key to tonight's success...find a woman who can carry you to the top :)" When prompted by the statement, "Tis said to remind you Atta...to tell everyone who your mentor is!" Atta responded, "My mentor, gee I have so many....All of the people at WW are my mentors and my friends and I enjoy being at WW because it is my home away from home via the computer!" Their advice to all would-be-winners, (mrhappy) "Enjoy the game and realize that much luck is involved! Oh and make sure you get good cards! Also, don’t pee in a fan! LOL!" (attagirl) "All I can say is just strive to be the best you can and do the best with what you have. My dad taught me as a kid to be a good loser as well as a good winner and if I couldn't lose with dignity then to not play!!!!!" When asked how they won Atta commented, "We won by getting the cards at the appropriate time when they were needed and hitting each others hands." Here is a small excerpt from the interview: > (mrhappy) did we win a Corvette? (attagirl) Yeah really a Corvette would be nice.... (EuchTourney) ROFL!!!! ;)))) (mrhappy) ok.. Pinto? (EuchTourney) You won fame and fortune!!! ;))) (mrhappy) LeCar? LOL! (attagirl) Well I will have to say this is the only fame and fortune that I have ever won and when we won it was like a rush..... (EuchTourney) Well, I doubt that's your only fame and fortune BUT I will do my best with the web page and whatta GREAT rush, huh??? ;))) (attagirl) Yes it was a great one and if my hubby had been here and heard me he would have had the white coats after me....LOL! Congratulations you two . . . you done GREAT!!! ;)))

TheFlirt looking the part!!! GKBurg with Yoda kitty!

And in the Consolation Tourney . . . TheFlirt and GKBurg triumphed over MrBoppie and MMBrown. TheFlirt, who is an engineer at an aerospace company in Wichita, KS, wanted to be sure we told all the ladies out there that he’s available and very willing . . . which of course also explains his nickname. He’s 47 years old and unmarried but always in the market! GKBurg, who’s nickname is derived from his real name Greg, is an auditor from North Carolina. He’s 38 years old and was helping us with the tourney by filling in when we needed an extra person to play! He says, "I have a ring through my nose but not one on my finger . . . yet!" Sorry ladies, this one is taken . . . by one of the interviewers!!! LOL! TheFlirt commented, "You can tell your listeners that I am a ‘fox’ and just like to have a lot of fun when I'm playing euchre, either in the tournaments or as a regular player! I am also well hung!" GKBurg quipped, "I'm just BASKING in all this new-found fame and glory!!! ;opp" Greg says he’s not the typical southern man because he doesn't like collard greens, "Although I will admit that DAMNYANKEE *IS* one word!" Their secrets for success were (theflirt) "We let the opponents get the lead, that gives them a false sense of security and then we pounce on them for the kill! We didn’t let the fact that we were playing Boppie psyche us out!!!! Also, playing footsie with boppie doesn't hurt either!" (GKBurg) "BID BID BID .. you might just make it ;);)" GK who usually makes an offering to the Euchre Gods, commented "I didn’t get a chance for the regular sacrifice tonight .. the Gods smile on those of pure heart anyway!" On THAT note . . . congratulations you two!! ;)

Pinky who brought the peanut butter cookies and milk wins the FEED THE WORLD AWARD tonight!!! ;)))

(Pinky3) me too...like to eat it right out of the jar (peanut butter . . . in case anyone was wondering)!

And BuddFoxx wins the STRANGEST BEDFELLOWS AWARD....

(BuddFoxx) I love peanut butter

(BuddFoxx) except when you lay down in the bed and lay on your daughters peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Bewhiched wins for the BEST BARMAID AWARD....

(Bewhiched) okay, white russian for jo . . . double manhattan for kaliki, sex on the beach for MR Boppie . . . man that was a quickie . . . lol and crackers and ice tea for Parrot!

The GOOD BEHAVIOR AWARD goes to....

(Jenn26) yeah I'll try and behave myself lol

And the NO I WON'T BEHAVE AWARD goes to BuddFoxx (yep the one with the peanut butter and jelly sandwich on his back....)

(JoAnneP) Hush Budd . . . behave!!! ;)))

(BuddFoxx) NO I will not...I don’t know how. If I was any better it would be illegal

The award on HOW TO ACHIEVE HUMBLENESS goes to....

(MRBoppie) MM AND I ARE THE BEST THERE IS, THE BEST THERE WAS, AND THE BEST THERE EVER WILL BE!!!!!!!

...which inspired such audience reaction as...

(Attagirl) you got it Mr. B

(Jenn26) ok MRB how come I haven't seen your name in the spotlight on the newsletter lately then ??? LOL

(kadena2) I was laughing so hard, I couldn't type very well

(BuddFoxx) But to be the man you have to beat the man

(mrsboop) Oh STUFF IT Boppie ;p

(jrxly) bring it on boppie

(roxxxx) <----covers her eyes

The WOULDN'T WE ALL AWARD goes to....

(jrxly) if I had a million dollars I would be shopping, not playing euchre!!!!!

The LAST MINUTE ADVISE AWARD goes to....

(KW31) only one thing to remember count on me for 2 not 1 NEVER be afraid to call...hope i'm not offending u

GOODWILL TOWARD MEN AWARD is awarded to...

ChesrCat) [in an odd pose, Parrot on ChesrCat's back asks for peace on earth]

The HAVEN'T THEY FIXED THIS BUG YET AWARD goes to....

(EUCHem) well... didn’t get a discard on a loner that wudda been stopped if I had gotten it :-(

And speaking of bugs...the WORST JOKE OF THE NIGHT AWARD goes to....

(menz) What's the definition of adamant....the very first insect

The MAKE EVERYONE THINK THEY CRASHED AWARD is awarded to Trumpy...who made us all crash at one time...each thinking they were the only one....

(Kaliki) EVERYONE CRASHED PINKY....THE WHOLE ROOM WENT DOWN

(Tis1) Whenever something goes wrong...it's ALWAYS TIS lolollol

(JoAnneP) Well, wasn't THAT special!!! LOL!!! ;)))

The BEST EXCUSE FOR CRASHING AWARD goes to.....

(mrsboop) I was sabotaged and taken away on a flying saucer hahaha

And THE REAL REASON WHY WE ALL CRASHED AWARD goes to....

(billherm) cool... my "send system crash" worked, eh?

The JOY OF WINNING....

(Attagirl) mrhappy are we in the finals?

AND THE AGONY OF DEFEAT...

(jrxly) ok you may all clap now we lost the lobby lost the march and lost the games.....

OK...how bout the JOY OF DEFEAT....

(JimboLimo) ok pard....lets get our private table and have some real fun *wink*

And the SLEEPER AWARD OF THE EVENING goes too....menz

(roxxxx) yoo hoo menz?

(roxxxx) menzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(roxxxx) thought maybe he was dead

(JoAnneP) He might be . . . . hasn't insulted me in at least ten minutes!!! LOL!!! ;)))

(roxxxx) Jo...if someone resuscitates menz....tell him i was looking for him k?

(JoAnneP) MIKEY YOU OUT THERE!!! OR DID YOU FALL ASLEEP ON THE KEYBOARD??????????????

(BigParrot) Mikey’s taking an afternoon cat nap !!!

(JoAnneP) I think he's a goner, Roxxx . . . he's OLD ya know!!! LOL!!! (If THAT doesn't wake him . . . nothing will!!)

(JoAnneP) GASP!!!! Don't tell me that Mikey is REALLY a goner????

(JimboLimo) ran out of gas....putt putt putt

(JoAnneP) Does that mean I can make fun of his age too??? ;)))

(Kaliki) sure jo...once they fall asleep....you can make fun of anything you want to

(Athena1) mrsboop is the mostest friendliest person on the internet. she just bops around all over the place.

(JoAnneP) She's also one of the brattiest!!! ROFL!!!! ;)))

(BuddFoxx) And to all those people who think wrestling is fake, they could not show it on TV if it was fake. Football is not a real sport, tell Brett Farve to take a few diamond cutters and tell me what pain is like. He will have to go pack on pain killers (jrxly) Football is for real men

(BuddFoxx) Football?? If they were real men why is the field so big and they were pads

(BuddFoxx) Rick Flair does not need all those pads

(InnJohn) Hey, better than golfers lol

(BuddFoxx) and they do their thing in a small ring . . . no where to hide

(mrhappyy) ping me JR

(billherm) no wonder he's happy... he keeps getting pinged

(Tis1) He'd be NOTHING without me...lollol

(mrhappyy) Is this the nekkid euchre tourney?

(Jenn26) nawwwww hon he needs a prozac

(Tis1) did I hear PROZAC?

(BuddFoxx) LOL prozac breakfast of salespeople

(Tis1) Whenever something goes wrong...it's ALWAYS TIS

(EUCHem) well tis.. we expect trumpy to boot u.. if he hasn’t, u must be doing something else illegal

(Jenn26) in other words.......keep your eyes on HER LOL

Views on that new *private* feature....

(GKBurg) oops .. had whisper on .. parrot is VERY lucky he didn't see all I typed LOL! I hate for all that creativity to be wasted ;op

(JoAnneP) Did this work??? :))) *Trying to whisper!!* LOL!!! I can NOT answer private messages on here! Just trying to answer someone BUT this private thingie doesn't seem to work!! ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;))))

(kadena2) LOL, I wish it didn't . . . there are some people that use it to be very rude!

And another one bites the dust...

(BigParrot) I have too.... those damn cats just got an anti-aircraft gun from the Russians !!!!

*** Trumpy has kicked BigParrot from the channel.

(mrhappyy) wtg trumpy

(GoFletch) bye bird!!!!!!!

(mrhappyy) *trumpy blowing smoke out of end of his gun*

(JoAnneP) Welcome back you potty-mouthed parrot you!!! LOL!!! ;)))

(BigParrot) trumpy's a *&&^ &^^% )(*(

(Kaliki) bad birdy....lol...welcome to the club ;)

(BigParrot) hehehe !!! trumpy must have been paid off by the cats !!

First let me apologize for all the scores I didn’t see the first...or the second...or even, in some cases, the third time tonight...from the time the room crashed, I had BAD lag...and then my screen would quickly scroll past all the stuff I needed to see. I needed some sort of freeze-frame very badly...I appreciate everyone’s patience....and I think I have a coupla solutions for next week to make it run smoother. First, some birdie eyes to help me see the scores ( you know how well birds can see). And to make it easier (for us...lol)...the first name called when we assign tables will host that table...AND BE THE ONE TO REPORT SCORES. If you don't want to host and report, then be sure your partner signs up your team....the signer-upper is the first name for that team. If a particular team has a lag problem, the other team signer-upper can take over the hosting and reporting chores for that game...just be sure we notice...unless you love sitting around waiting for your next game...muhahahaha!

(Note from Jo . . . Kaliki is sooooo anal that she keeps little index cards on every team, recording scores on them and matches played. She prefers to call this "organization!" Then when you and your pard are out, she rips you up and tosses you in the trash can!!! Isn't that illegal in most states??? ;opppppppp)

Okay...let’s go through this one more time...LOL! This is a single elimination tournament. If you and your partner lose, you are out of the tournament...EXCEPT...if you happen to lose in the FIRST ROUND...then you get to play in another tournament....the Consolation Tourney....but only if you lose in the FIRST ROUND :)) Anyone who loses AFTER the FIRST round is out of BOTH tournaments!! ;)))

We received this next, new humor column anonymously . . . .we thought it was GREAT and wanted to share it with you!! If anyone is able to guess the writer or knows anything about who this might be . . . please e-mail us at euchtourney@geocities.com . . . ENJOY!!! ;)))

Ever notice the many intriguing types of euchre players whose on-site personalities fall into predictable patterns? I have. Here are the warning signs:

The Boss - The boss should be host at all times, then they won’t have to tell the host to play on while they are patiently waiting for a crasher to return, or they can just use the kick button rather than ask their pard, every other play, why they did what they did.. sparing us the ensuing 43 rebuttals.

The Foot Tapper - Laggard-intolerant... knows what IP means and will question yours. Does NOT know the expression... "But for the grace of server-connect and Mother Nature goes I".

The Professional Host - Mind bent that the first deal will make them top ten ladder material. Will start a table with ten people in the room, one full and two tables waiting. .. THEN yell in caps for players! This is the same person that comes to a euchre tourney 40 minutes early and sets up waiting for their assignment. The best guy in the room to trick into saying "shit" just as his table assignment pops up on the screen!

The LOLer - God love them.. their life is filled with merriment and dust-free floors. You can’t say an unfunny thing to these joyous players. I, of course, cynically believe they are either on their third martini, still numb from a root canal, or just ran into someone that cyber-tied them up and fulfilled their deepest fantasies. LOLLLlllllll

The List-Makers - They have a list for laggers, loner crashers, mushy couples, suspect cheaters, trump-leaders, non-trump leaders, women who say they have nothing on, women who already said no, and God knows what else. Use that pencil to mark down the seven trump played, LM... you just got euchred three times in a row!

The No-Passer - I actually believe that when the bid screen pops up, this player feels they are forced to pick a pretty symbol. They believe themselves fearless... "No guts, no glory". This is the same guy in that lumbering Sports Utility Vehicle that’s high-speed approaching the pretty colored traffic light. GO FOR IT! "No guts... just a matter of time".

The Anal-Retentive Bidder - There is no God... only Hoyle. Statistically correct at any given moment. A Franklin Planner devotee with no Kodak moments in his entire adulthood.

The What’s-A-Loner Partner - "Good Lord! There was that slight possibility that my ace could get clipped in the first lead, you know!!!!" Why embarrass yourself at all. Hit the pass button then press "Auto". Your laundry should be on spin-dry before the game ends.

The ICQ Socialite - Drives The Boss crazy, makes two of The List-Maker’s top tens, cuts your playing time in half. They are the first person you think of when you wake up late in the morning. Kiss that Diva’s paw!

The Pard-Blamer - It doesn’t matter if the distribution was lopsided, the call was idiotic, the mis-mouse was theirs... they raise a bony finger across the table and do an exemplary rendition of the last scene from the 1970’s version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. A perfect zodiac coupling for an LOLer.

The Mad Loser - Mild forms are complete lack of further communication. Acute forms are complete lack of further connection. Absolutely convinced that this particular loss will be remembered for all time in the minds of everyone in the room and lobby. A healthy dose of Ex-Lax will put your mind back into perspective.

The Tunnel-Vision Pard - They know how to say "ty pard", "ns pard", "gc pard". Those bookending this player do not exist. Your comments are written in invisible ink. Press the classical music button... get though the game.. say "PardON this!" as you leave to go to a more sociable table.

The No-Chat Player - Dead silence from the greetings until they make a good play. Then they will pull out their bugle.. beat their chest.. laud the praises of No-Chat and sink back into their all-mousing game. Shareware PC games are free, NC. Why pay server fees???

The Euchre Player - Plays to win but is gracious in losing. Always says hello, goodnight, gc, ns and ty. Has no blood pressure problems, a list-free desk, varies his play, minds his P’s and Q’s and lags infrequently. Happy are the euchre players, for bower-less or loner-blessed, they will sleep well tonight.

Our thanks to players who helped make the tourney FUN and to everyone for their patience!!! The mass crash didn’t seem to help our organizational skills but we are getting there! ;) Hopefully by next week we’ll a little more in the swing of things. We want to thank BigParrot, Rainy, and GKBurg for all their support and help. They are three of the people behind the scenes that freely give their time and effort to make this tournament work! ;)

Next week's Top Ten question is . . . What's the number one thing you want from a good euchre pard??? Take care everyone! See y'all next week and may the Euchre Gods smile down upon you! ;)

The question of the week was: As a Euchre player, what is your #1 New Year's Resolution? And the answers are....

10. To make sure putty tats are my pards. Easier to kept an eye on them across the

table than next to me. (BigParrot)

9. Win two euchre games in a row. (MadHatir)

8. (Tied) To try to not order the right up and go alone! (rjsham)

Cut down on number of hours spent playin euchre...lol (stillplay)

7. To not spill so much beer on my keyboard while playing in the tourney. (kadena2)

6. (Tied) To quit having sex while playing......ruins my card playing concentration.....LOL (MiLady401)

Not to pard with JoAnne unless we are the only 2 there and the Bots are on holiday. (menz)

5. To get better at Euchre by less foreplay and more card play with my partner *smile* *wink* (JimboLimo)

4. Try and have a good partner cause I hate doing loners allllllllll the time..lol (MRBoppie)

3. To get euchred only once in a game not TWICE or THREE times. (Athena1)

2. One dollar for me for every time my pard gets us euchered.....I'll be a millionaire this year..... (jrxly)

And the #1 Euchre player's New Years Resolution was.....

1. To learn the meaning of, "Turn off that damn computer and come to bed"! (BuddFoxx)