SloRide and sons . . . he says, "You should see the rest!!" LOL!! HEY!! They don't look like monsters to us! ;))) Bucktailz . . . looks like she really is married!!! ;)) Bucktailz's pride and joy . . . her son, Jimmy, who is an honor student and a jock! ;)

SloRide and Bucktailz overcame runners-up MichRummy and TomSki26 to take it all in the Friday night Partners' Euchre Tournament. They've been playing together on and off for more than a month now. Bucktailz's usual partner is Slowhand . . . hmmmmmm . . . anyone see a pattern here??? SloRide says his nickname has something to do with how he likes sex . . . enough said!! LOL!!! He has another nickname that a few of you might be familiar with . . . Pingeye3!! He won the consolation Tourney last month while playing with LdyBue!! Bucktailz got her nickname from a fishing lure that's used to catch stripers. She's age 37, married, lives in southern Maryland and runs a beauty shop out of her home. When asked if we could help her with a little advertising she replied, "No!!! I work as little as possible...lol!!" SloRides says, "She's a good girl and a very, very good pard!!" Her hobbies are fishing, golfing and gardening. Though she wasn't too keen on us telling the world about the gardening part!! LOL!! SloRide, who is 39 years old, is from Southern California and is a single father, raising two boys . . . whom he jokingly calls monsters. Bucktailz claimed the secret of their success was "I order and he follows!" SloRide commented, "We bad, datz it!!" When asked for euchre tips or advice, Bucktailz answered, "Hope Trumpy likes you!! Luck, luck and more luck!! Oh and drink lots of Budweiser!" SloRide explained, "I've been playing euchre for 25 years but not too sure why I do so well! Just don't be afraid to count on your pard! You can stretch a point into a march or a euchre into points that way too!" Bucktailz was heard to comment, "Too many pards, not enough time!" . . . watch it euchre players everywhere . . . she's on the loose out there!!! ;)))) SloRide wanted us to explain what he's looking for in a woman, "I'm looking for a rich nympho to sweep me off my feet . . . LOL! And tell them to hurry!! Hey, shoot for the moon I always say!!" Bucktailz was heard to comment, "PLEASE marry him . . . he would make a wonderful wife!!" He confirmed that by adding, "Hey, I can cook and clean and I'm real good in the . . . well, you know!" LOL!! Congratulations you two . . . nice playing!!

TTiny and OgreJim beat out runners-up Bewhiched and INNJohn to take the Consolation Tourney. These two have been opponents before but this was the first time the two had ever played together! TTiny, who has been playing euchre since she was 18 (but only for a year online), got her nick from her granny when she was born . . . because she was ittybitty, "It's stuck with me ever since! I can't get away from it!" Jim's name really is Jim and his son calls him an ogre . . . thus the evolution of his nickname. TTiny is from Ohio, she's 43, married and has three children. She told us, "I'm a production supervisor and I live on the 'puter a lot!" OgreJim, who is from Detroit originally, now resides in Tucson. He's 43, separated, has a 24 year old son, and is retired from the Navy. He mostly lives off his retirement and has fun but he does fix and build 'puters for his friends. He explained, "I don't get paid much for that, usually part money. LOL!" He raises lovebirds and has a few other pets. Jim says the only secrets of their success were, "Umm, we just played the hands, got the right cards, and had lots of luck!" TTiny explained, "Well, I had a good pard, that's what helped me out a lot to get this win! You just have to know how your pard plays his cards." For those of you that haven't experienced it, OrgeJim (as Kaliki calls him) likes to entertain the ladies by stripping for them!! But he confided, "I only do that on the second date! LOL!" He told us he just learned to play two months ago and asked, "May I say thanks to my teachers: Lynn10, MystOne and LadyZee?" When we wondered what they taught him, he explained, "Lynn taught me how to love again and the other two euchre. LOL!" Tiny's advice? "When playing, the key is to just have fun! Winning isn't everything!" Jim agreed, "If we win, we win if not it's just a game. :)" Nice playing you two . . . congratulations!!

TTiny . . . either she REALLY is tiny or that's the world's largest Christmas tree!! *S* OgreJim . . . this is the dressed picture . . . he'll have to send you the one of him stripping privately!! *G*

SMART PERSON OF THE EVENING AWARD goes to....
(ewing2) think we have to check with the head honchos of euchre world .. but lets ask

THE DO YOU THINK THAT WILL HELP AWARD goes to....
(luvmedo) its been a hard days night and i am praying to the euchre gods

*THE* PLACE TO BE ON FRIDAY NIGHTS AWARDS go to....
(TomSki26) this place gets CROWDED...
(Bucktailz) YES IT DOES TOM...I GET MOTION SICKNESS IN HERE
(InnJohn) ya know they need a freeze screen function im trying to catch up on this here conversation and ya'll keep typing...sheesh
(InnJohn) feel like one of those balls on the ball and paddle game

THE "AND WHEN SHE WAS GOOD SHE WAS VERY VERY GOOD" AWARD goes to....
(Latisha) See....?...Tis is SUCH a GOOD girl.....*sweet innocent smile*

THE WHO IS MY PARTNER AWARD goes to....
(WKally) ---------------------------I always miss who my pard is--------is that an omen---------

CARING PARTNER AWARD goes to....
(MichRummy) go potty Tom!
(MichRummy) we are almost up!
(MichRummy) *running*
(TomSki26) She's monitoring my excretory systems... like a good pard should!!

ENTERTAINING THE TROOPS AWARDS go to....
(RoseBudd) help wanted: telepath....you KNOW where to apply
(Dunf) If Barbie is so popular...why do u have to buy all her friends?
(menz) censored....censored...censored....

The DON'T EVEN ASK . . . YOU HAD TO BE THERE AWARD . . .
(RoseBudd) and then there are ankles..........
(GKBurg) and ears ...
(GKBurg) and nudist camps and donuts ;);)
(RoseBudd) and DWARFS
(JoAnneP) LOL!! And LOTS of penguins!!! ;))))))))))))
(GKBurg) and dwarves, penguins .. ahhhh .. the list goes on ;)
(JoAnneP) Poor Mikey will NEVER get to sleep tonight now!!! ;))))))))))))
(menz) oh yes i will Jo and what a dream it's going to be :)

The RECORDING SECRETARY AWARD . . .
(Bucktailz) watward/miller 2 Bucktailz/Sloride 10
(Bucktailz) watward even
(Bucktailz) wayward
(wayward1) WAYWARD!!! LOL
(Bucktailz) gosh
(Bucktailz) so hard
(JoAnneP) Poor Buck is having a typing problem tonight!! ;)))
(miller01) lol...they play well, even if they can't typw....GREAT game y'all
(Bucktailz) gotta host all night
(Bucktailz) am a hair dresser not a secretary

The HOW TO BRIBE THE DEALER AWARD . . .
(wayward1) Miller was supposed to pay the dealer that round
(miller01) meee?? thought you were going to tip him
(wayward1) I'm broke...you ought to KNOW that
(wayward1) I *DID* promise him you would meet him at Casey's Bar after the game though....wear something lowcut
(miller01) sheesh...will know better than to put you in charge next time
(miller01) with the cards he dealt....gonna wear a mother hubbard
(wayward1) LOL - see if I try and get you a date anymore
(wayward1) If only she wasn't my mom I would have spent a lot more time embarrassing her
 

The GREAT ATTITUDE AWARD goes to . . .
(MichRummy) I AM THE BIG WINNER TONIGHT . . . Made a new pard and friend!!!!

(BethAnn) is WW lagging bad tonight or what?

(Dee) Buck, why dontcha go to work for me :))) Puhleeezzzzeee :))
(Bucktailz) I DONT DO WORK
(Bucktailz) I AM A LADY OF LESURE
(Bucktailz) I WORK HARD NOT TO WORK

(meis9) HI TRUMPY YOU BIG BOX OF RIGHTOUS CHIPS

(Jenn26) am i crazy or what??????
(Jenn26) ok.......so i'm not crazy........

(Scr0ll) DON'T -PAY THE RANSOM......WE ESCAPED LOL (C;[}

(Dee) :::::::: sitting the corner OUT OF THE LINE OF TRAFFIC :::::::
(ConnieB) i just made my screen longer... helped a bit... rofl

(TomSki26) If she pards w/ Trumpy, she can't cuss when she gets bad cards... LOL
(GKBurg) wkally .. your pard is gpplisa .. now you HAVE to behave ;);)
(EUCHem) yeah... lisa knows trumpy "personally"

(Jenn26) ::::POUTING:::
(ArcherOK) glad you finally noticed me....I was about to start pouting with Jenn
(meis9) cheer up jenn me and who brought enough beer for you too lol :{)

(kadena1) can I get anyone a beer, I am buying
(jrmint) MGD FOR ME PLEASE
(meis9) sure coors light here
(TomSki26) Just put the keg in the corner, kad...
(kadena1) cool, u have to carry it for me Tom
(MrEd2) put the keg by me :)
(WKally) u all drinking too much beer, there's no table - here!

(zDANGERz) HOW DO YOU KNOW IM A ASTUD
(Jenn26) I DON"T
(EUCHem) CUZ SHE BOT A STUD FINDER
(Jenn26) I AM just guessing
(NewWoman) its that last z danger :)

(FartMann) REMEMBER EVERYONE... IF YOU LOSE IN THE FIRST ROUND YOU HAVE TO STICK AROUND FOR HUMILITY PURPOSES
(ewing2) well I HOPE I LOSE in first round now !!

(WhodatFan) OK DID I MISS ANYTHING
(meis9) yea we won
(Athena1) and u lost who
(WhodatFan) LOST WHAT
(Athena1) everything
(Athena1) and the tourney
(Scr0ll) Yeah sorry whodatfan tourney is over
(WKally) yeah whodatfan u did better than usual

(gusty2) you all should just throw your cards in skate and i are going all the way tonight
(EUCHem) wow AND U R ADVERTISING THAT GUSTY?
(gusty2) why not
(EUCHem) CUZ IT'S NOT POLITE TO "TELL" WHEN U GO ALL THE WAY
(luvmedo) HECK I WISH I COULD MAKE IT TO FIRST....LOL
(Bewhiched) same here i never seem to get off home plate........rotflamo
(gusty2) you all in wrong game then
(SloRide) was that first base ?
(luvmedo) HECK I DO NOT GET OUT OF THE ON DECK CIRCLE....LOL
(kadena1) I think that is where u r stuck SloRide
(ewing2) been benched since marriage :(
(WhodatFan) i got up to bat once...then she slapped me

(CalamityS) Where are we I don't see us

(EUCHem) travel.. we lost so fast... no one else has started yet

(Bucktailz) sorry...I had a brain cramp

(Jenn26) WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL I finally won into the winners round........and now i need a fork baby........I"M DONE

(JoAnneP) Rose Budd . . . what happened in your game???
(RoseBudd) LONER.
(RoseBudd) MARCH
(RoseBudd) ECT.
(RoseBudd) ECT.
(RoseBudd) EUCHERED TO WIN

(Dunf) of course they lie..... but i'm sure that the truth can only be worse than the lies...sooooo.... we'll get the lies first! :-)

(GKBurg) waiting on loser of connieb's table, gpplisa :-))
(GKBurg) or should that be consolationer??? ;op
(Kaliki) not losers...point challenged ;)

(jrmint) hey i don't know how to play euchre and they keep letting me in here

(JoAnneP) ROFL!!!! ;)))))))))) *Whapping Connie as she runs from the room!!* ;)))))
(ConnieB) *tucking butt up just missing the blow*
(Dunf) how exactly does one "tuck her butt up"?? that sounds like it might hurt...
(Kaliki) depends on where you tuck it....
(Bewhiched) like sucking in a gut........rotflmao
(Bewhiched) but doing it backwards
(Dunf) bewhiched...r u saying she has a beer butt???

(OgreJim) only go slow making love... lol

(Dunf) doesn't everyone eventually end up in Ohio? kinda like a black hole sucking everything in......

(RoseBudd) SEX ON TELEVISION CANT HURT YA
(RoseBudd) UNLESS YOU FALL OFF
(Bewhiched) or the rabbit ears get in the way.,..........lolol
(InnJohn) hhmmm rabbit ears might not get in the way bew

(Dunf) <--- Mind like a Steel Trap! Rusty and Illegal in 37 states...

(SloRide) buck buck buck
(Bucktailz) what are you doing?
(SloRide) nutin
(Bucktailz) just sitin and lookin
(SloRide) yea kinda
(Bucktailz) you trying to pick up trumpy
(SloRide) I wish lol
(Bucktailz) lol
(Bucktailz) you done playing
(SloRide) naaaaa
(SloRide) got a few games left in me
(Bucktailz) you looking for some Penguin puddin?
(SloRide) hmmmm would be nice
(Bucktailz) lol
(Bucktailz) well you were da bomb tonight
(SloRide) hell any puddin would be nice lol
(Bucktailz) naaaa
(SloRide) well CA-BOOOOOOOOOOM
(Bucktailz) had a good feeling when we started
(Bucktailz) you took your cast off didn't you?
(SloRide) was some good euchres and a smokin loner or two
(Bucktailz) yes it was
(SloRide) yes ....shhhhhhhhhhhh
(Bucktailz) we missed alot of loners
(Bucktailz) bad boy
(SloRide) doc said monday
(Bucktailz) close enough
(SloRide) but I just hadta
(Bucktailz) lol
(Bucktailz) now you can give your tongue a rest

DEAR MR. MANNERS

Q.    How long should I wait for a crasher?
A.    Non-ladder games, a few minutes. Ladder game, a few minutes more. If you are losing, though, try to pretend you didn't notice the crasher leave until you've played a few hands against the bot and caught up.

Q.    How much chat are you required to offer in the game?
A.    A hello is required to confirm your good connection. Mr. Manners believes in the standard greetings. From that point on the minimal is gc or ns to your partner about every third time. Offering exaltations to the other team just inspires them. Another good strategy to develop is to begin a two-way conversation with your partner about how your days went. Remember to throw in lots of smooches. Try to hold back your gla's and ne's until you really feel inspired. No one likes insincerity.

Q.    When should I start a table?
A.    As soon as you enter. The more the merrier. Your contribution towards stalling the starts of games by not filling a table and possibly luring another player or two from filling the earlier set up tables will just add delicious anticipation and a healthy competitiveness to the game.

Q.    What should I do with a lagger if I host?
A.    This is a sticky situation. Lagging could be caused by many outside influences, directly or indirectly the result of the player. And since it would be rude to ask them point blank how many programs they have open, (Mr. Manners does not like rudeness) and you, as host, are responsible for the expectations of all the other players (including the beauty sleep of the women and the family harmony when Mr. Grumpy wakes up in the morning), it's best to spare everyone the inquiries and waste of time and just kick them. If they are good enough to reboot and return, let them play.

Q.    What do you do if too many join your table to play?
A.    The rule of thumb is, first in, first seated. The exceptions are: If the first in announces their pard is coming and you still have two openings, or if the last player in is your secret online lover.

Q.    What do you do if you get stuck with a rude, bossy or angry partner?
A.    I've found that the most effective way to handle such people is to play like a total moron from that point on. Chances are you'll be botting it in a few minutes and all the bots are programmed to smile at any abuses you care to hurl at them (except the one in the lobby), so let it rip then. This is the polite way to exercise your stress management.

Q.    What's the best way to handle not answering personal questions in the game?
A.    Since the asking of personal questions is just an obsessive/compulsive behavior with some people and they won't remember your answers ten minutes later, this is a good situation for stretching your imagination. For example, if they ask if you like to fool around, a good answer is: "Why yes! My husband and I both like fooling around. We've founded an online swap newsletter and have experienced the erotica of S&M with people in four countries now. We like to learn all we can about people we exchange with and also use our newsletter to gather support to repeal stalking laws. What's your ICQ number, honey?"

Q.    What do you do when someone accuses you of talking secretly to your partner and therefore, cheating?
A.    Since it's difficult to defend your reputation in this environment, I would suggest taking another tact. Teach that person a lesson. It used to be easier in the early beta versions of GPP since they allowed multiple identities. Back then you and your partner could change your name nightly, seek out this individual, and cheat, cheat, cheat. After awhile this person would reach the conclusion that not EVERYONE could be cheating, therefore he must really stink! But since that's not feasible with the new GPP version, the best method is to alert all your friends and advise them that if they play this individual and don't want to be suspected of cheating, they should keep a continuous flow of chat going on in the game to prove there is no possibility of secret conversing elsewhere. The offending individual may come to prefer cheating over non-stop, streaming chat bars rolling by.

Q.    Should I inform the other players that I'm just a beginner?
A.    Would you inform your patients that this is your first unassisted surgery?

Q.    How can I get my partner to talk to me in the game?
A.    It's hard to tell why some people don't even bother with general "good manner" responses but there is little you can do to force the issue. We all just have to understand that there could be many unseen reasons for this behavior. This person may not have as many fingers as you do. Maybe they are just learning to read. Perhaps they can't type English. Maybe their one hand is on the mouse and the other's busy elsewhere. Whatever the reason, just be gracious, finish the game and as the last hand's being played out say, "Thank you for the game, partner. You words have inspired me to try harder... and elsewhere :)"

Q.    How do I gracefully handle a typo I made that reads embarrassingly?
A.    It's excruciatingly difficult to back away from a typo that reads like a normal sentence so don't beat yourself up over it. People will understand. We've all done it, whether it's the mis-hit key that changed "loner" to "boner" or the Freudian typo, for instance: "I like what comes out of your "mouth"... but you typed "mother". You can either be secure in yourself and explain it was a typo, or take the alternate route and begin typing as many inane lines as you can string together. The other players will just assume you are having a medical emergency and in their concern forget all about the original faux pas.

Q.    How do I pay back a player that continues to crash out of games and not return when they are losing.
A.    Now, now. "Pay back" is not what Mr. Manners is about. All I can do is advise you how to react and behave in polite society. Do something for your spirit and purge these hostile feelings. When you run into this player again, invite him into your game. Make no mention of any previous irritations and treat your neighbor as he would treat you. When he goes alone? Kick him. Mr. Manners DOES believe in lessons. They are great character builders.

If you have a euchre etiquette question for Mr. Manners please forward it to this newsletter. I will be happy to help you solve your social snafus. Until then, Dear Readers, always remember to have fun and mind your manners.

We want to thank everyone for playing this past week . . . we had a GREAT turn out . . . lots of people who made it fun for all of us!! ;))) Only one problem . . . people wait until the last minute to decide they want to play and they forget to sign up . . . GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! LOL!!! PLEASE sign up EARLY this week . . . it really does help us start on time!! To sign up right now . . . while you are thinking about it . . . click here! We also want to mention the Euchre Message Board . . . we've gotten some good euchre questions and if ANYONE out there has a decent answer or two . . . we'd appreciate your input!! To answer a posted message (or to post a message of your own) click here for the Post to the Message Board page!! Don't forget to include the message number you are answering with your post!! To check out the Message Board . . . click here!! Don't forget, if you've been there recently . . . you might need to hit refresh to see anything new! ;) And what the heck, if we get any questions for Mr. Manners (LOL) we'll be happy to post them too . . . so send in all your euchre etiquette questions and Mr. Manners will tell you the proper thing to do!! Also, you might have thought we were joking about this from the beginning but we don't have any idea who Al Zeimers really is . . . if you have an ideas, please clue us in!! All we know is he's hysterical!! Also, as always, we are open to all suggestions, comments and ideas about how we might make the web page, the tournament, or the newsletter better . . . if you have any please feel free to contact us via e-mail . . . our address is euchtourney@geocities.com. Take care everyone . . . have a great week and we'll see y'all next week . . . in the meantime, may the Euchre Gods smile down upon you!! ;)))

What's the one thing you always wanted to do in a euchre game but never had the nerve to do?

10. What HAVEN'T I done in euchre? (FartMann)

9. KICK MY REG PARD WHEN HE GETS EUCHRED LOL (Lorna37)

8. Order up the J of trump for my opponents, and not get euchred! (WKally)

7. Accuse others of cheating after seeing how the cards are played and lag is obvious ...none! (ewings)

6. Just politely come right out and asked my pard what he had in his hand...... (Attagirl)

5. Play for profit: penny a point, beer for 10 points, blouse for 25 points.... (BillHerm)

4. I've played nakie .. i've done loners with no bowers... guess i have nerve... cybersex? . hmm ..naw (Time2Win)

3. Play fully dressed...*wink* (Latisha)

2. Call a loner on 4 nines and a 10.. (MtLion1)
Order with 9's & 10's. (Ladyzee)

And the number 1 answer to this week's question, What's the one thing you always wanted to do in a euchre game but never had the nerve to do?....

1. To say...ROTTEN GAME....not gg.......LOL....if the cards were BADDDDDDD.... (MichRummy)