PJMonkey . . . The Latest Fashion from Florida??? (You can't be TOO safe these days, ya know!! LOL!!)   PJ and his Dad

This week's winners, PJMonkey and Norma1, won out over runners-up Lynn10 and OgreJim. They've been playing euchre together in three tourneys so far. Norma, whose nickname is her real name, is not married (yes, guys she's available) and adopted a child about five years ago. She was half of our very first winning team and has proven many times that she's a great euchre player!! ;) She's lived in Pennsylvania all her live. Norma is into real estate. She buys property and then rents it out. Her partner, PJMonkey, got his nickname from his pet monkey, wanna guess the monkey's name . . . you got it, PJ!! ;) He's from New Hampshire originally but retired about 26 years ago because of medical reasons and moved to Florida about 16 years ago. PJMonkey is 61 and has been married to Sheila (who's been a nurse for 42 years) for 40 years! He's got a great home page at http://www.webscans.com/monkeydad/index.html . . . which is where we snagged the pictures of him for this newsletter! ;) Since he's retired, PJ likes to RV and plans to do a lot more of it as soon as his wife retires in November. (Kaliki wanted to be sure we mentioned in here, so it was formal and in writing, that PJ promised her his monkey if he decided not to return from his RVing!) PJ explained how they won, "Norma did the winning and she dragged me along." While Norma claimed, "It was luck . . . LOL . . . and some skill! I had bigbird's lucky feather!" PJMonkey's had a euchre tip to share with all of us, "Finesse is the name of the game!" He also had a complaint about GPP (one which many of us have personally experienced), "WW/GPP screwing up everyone's names sucks....I'm know as MonkeyDad all over the net....except here! They've given me two different passwords for MonkeyDad and neither one works!" Pammy is the Queen of Nicknames, PJ . . . maybe she can help you get your name back . . . she's helped MANY other people! ;) Norma confided, "It's nice to play with people who are not sore losers, everyone was nice about it." Not sure if this is PJ's life philosophy or not but here goes . . . PJMonkey, "I'm lost...I've gone to look for my self....If I return before I get back.....Please ask me to wait!" LOL!! He ended the interview with "Thanks yawl and BIG hugs for a GREAT partner!" Norma returned the hugs and thanked everyone! ;) Congratulations you two . . . you done good! ;)

THE TECHNICALITY AWARD goes to....
(jrmint) i havent said anything funny i dont have speech capabilities

INVISIBLE MAN AWARD goes to....
(ArcherOK) no, just stopped in to visit.......just ignore me

THE KWALLY (MOST CONSISTENT TYPOED NAME) AWARD goes to....
(WKally) **************wow Kaliki (even though i now know u can't hear me right now) after reading last weeks newsletter, I now am in awe of all you're doing right now, but if you keep saying my name right i'm gonna get a complex *****

BELATED BIRTHDAY TURD AWARD goes to....Menz :)) Happy Brithday!!!
(roxxxx) hi ya menzzzzzzz...happy belated birthday:)
(menz) Hi Ya Roxx :)) big mouth
(roxxxx) big mouth?? humph turd
(GKBurg) egads.. you mean Mikey is even older than we thought????

THE FAT CHANCE AWARD goes to....
(wulhers) Hey everyone this is my first tourney here...what dya say you let me win?
(ruffian1) NO WAY WULHERS........lolol
(MrF00L) yea like he said
(EUCHem) i dunno know wulhers... wudda ya say
(FartMann) I'll let you have the cards I don't want.. how's that wulhers?
(BruceM1) wulhers, they didn't let me win on birthday, so newbies are out of luck too ;-)
(wulhers) it's my birthday too...really i swear

THE MINTY PSYCHOTIC AWARD goes to....
(jrmint) i see it and believe me ive been told I'm Psychotic
(Sizz514) a minty psychotic - how neat ;)
(jrmint) ive heard of Psycodelic mints before but......

THE SPELLING BEE AWARD goes to....
(Athena1) sorry euchrer i thought we marched
(Athena1) can;'t spell eiother

THE NEW CONCEPT IN WINNING AWARD goes to....
(jrmint) now that you have won you cant be partners again until someone else has won

THE HOW TO INSULT YOUR PARTNER JUST BY CALLING THEM THEIR NAME AWARD goes to....
(krystal34) get in here fart

THE EASIEST NICKNAMES TO TYPE AWARD goes to pards . . . DOC5 and BO5 . . .
(JoAnneP) I just LOVE your nicknames!! ;))) They are sooooo short!! LOL!!
(GKBurg) and such easy names to type .. try typing skateway 5 times in a row real fast ;)

THE MOST KICKS IN THE SHORTEST TIME PERIOD goes to Whiz, as himself and all his other nicks, including....
(BlondeMan) that bad whiz got booted huh
(BlondeMan) i thought i covered that joke with the . in that word geeez
(BlondeMan) i can't do nothing here i'm a mortal now
(GKBurg) a mortal .. or amoral?
(Kaliki) amoral mortal
(JoAnneP) He's always amoral!!! ;))))
(GKBurg) sounds good to me ;)
AND
(gppTIM) it was worsth the kick
(gppTIM) worth it also
(Kaliki) lol...thought Tim had a lisp

THE HOST WITH THE MOST AWARD goes to....
(nomad48) Archer..... black or cream and sugar or just cream or just sugar or sweet and low or equal?
(ArcherOK) just sugar thanks....LOL

THE PING-DEAD AWARD goes to.... jrmint!
(meripopin) jrmint had no ping.....
(Lynn10) ohhhh nooooooo.. NO PING???????? POOOOR JRMINT... WHAT DO YA DO WITHOUT YOUR PING???????????

THE SMOKING GUN AWARD goes to....TRUMPY for the most kicks in one hour! LOL!
*** Trumpy has kicked gppWHIZ from the channel.
*** Trumpy has kicked JimboLimo from the channel.
*** Trumpy has kicked Tis1 from the channel.
*** Trumpy has kicked BlondeMan from the channel.
*** Trumpy has kicked CalamityS from the channel.

Winning techniques....
(gppLisag) i guess it would help if we played euchre more than once a week lol
(jrmint) i refuse to play during the week cuz i keep losing
(GKBurg) Forget that, Lisa .. it's $$$ to the dealer that counts!!!!!!!
(BigParrot) or to the organizers :)))
(Athena1) $$$$$$$$$$$$$ is that enough ??
(BruceM1) rather than $$$ to Kaliki, can I just take her to a dark corner and #smooch??? :-)

How to sign up....
(rudy3) How do you sign up for the tournament?
(JoAnneP) Talk to me Rudy!!! ;))))
(GKBurg) Rudy, send $5 and your e-mail address to me .. I'll get ya signed up!!!
(Athena1) only $4 if u send it to me a special price
(JoAnneP) Rudy . . . don't listen to them!!! Do you have a pard??? ;)))
(Athena1) yes listen to us
(Athena1) and for u i will make it very special only $3.50 but send it right now so u don't miss out

And just in case *ANYONE* missed it, here is Lisag's ICQ number....
(gppLisag) good :) here is my icq number 884164
(BigParrot) mass add of Lisa's ICQ !!!
(gppLisag) lol i dont care who has it
(OgreJim) sending really good pic to lisa. lol
(ConnieB) her being an op, there prolly aren't too many here that she don't already have... hehe
(BruceM1) let's all ICQ Lisa :-)
(gppLisag) heck connie i only have 175 names
(ConnieB) hehe i used to til i losted my icq here while back...
(gppLisag) oh i had a lot to and i lost mine
(Athena1) u losted your icq did your computer eat it up lol
(gppLisag) anyone else?? i just added 2 more lol
(TrumpLady) Lisa you got me?

And the inevitable questions....
(tinyone) this is pard tourney? (Note:Yes)
And....
(MrF00L) is this a ladder or an elimination? (Note:Single elimination)
(ruffian1) no ladder need a step stool here Mr Fool
(MrF00L) yes step stool might help me hehe
(wulhers) i'll settle for four jacks every hand fool hehe
And....
(MrF00L) so is it one game elimination?
(wulhers) no we can play another if we want
(wulhers) not against the same team
(MrF00L) so how many games befor were out?
(MiLady401) TOM???...are you back?????
(BigParrot) at least 2
(GKBurg) it's a single elim *unless you lose in the first round* tourney ;)
And....
(RHardin40) where do you sign up at
(ruffian1) ON THE DOTTED LINE.....lolol
(EUCHem) yesterday, web page
(gppPAM) http://geocities.datacellar.net/TimesSquare/Battlefield/8350/
And....
(One4Gipr) IS it too late to join?? (Note: almost never)
(EUCHem) never too late... we're never on time
(MarkCCC) on with the shew!
And the ever popular....
(jrmint) so are we gonna start on time tonight? (Note:ROFLMAO)
(EUCHem) LOL sure
(BruceM1) you dreaming again jrmint?? :-)
(BigParrot) just for you Jr....... No
(Athena1) have to ask kadena1 if we start on time
(EUCHem) kadena always starts on time... just cant finish on time
(Athena1) finish what euchem
(breeze7) so..I could get here @ 9:30 & still be early...huh? LOL
(wulhers) so i take it that 9pm is just a rough guess at a start time...perhaps 10:30??
(BruceM1) Start on time??? who are we kidding :-)
(jrmint) hey are we starting?
(OgreJim) why start something new? i'd be late then. LOL
kuntrygal) When do we start? Will I be here all night with this weirdo?
(Kaliki) If you need a partner or you and your partner didn't get a chance to sign up, try to show up at the special events room at least 30 minutes before tourney time, so we can get you squared away and everyone gets to start on time :))) Let JoAnneP, GKBurg, or BigParrot know what you need and they will see I get the into...I don't get a chance to read the screen during this time, so please, whatever you do, DON'T whisper to me....

And the most important question of all....
(jrmint) so who are we picking on this week? (Note: its always pick on pammy week )

Inquiring minds want to know...Is there or isn't there a picture??????
(Attagirl) Hey JoAnne share your glamour shot with us!!!!!!!
(JoAnneP) OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is NO glamour shot!!! LOL!!! ;)))
(Attagirl) OH YES THERE IS
(jrmint) must be a nudie then
(ConnieB) send pic!!! that's what ya kin do :)
(JoAnneP) LOL!! Connie there is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO new pic . . . Dunf was just trying me make me crazy!!! He does a GREAT job of it too!!! ;))))
(JoAnneP) LOL!!! Okay, Connie . . . remind me tomorrow and I'll do it!!! ;)))) BUT it's NOT a glamor pic!! ;oppppppppppp
(gppLisag) you sending out pics of your self Jo??
(GKBurg) Lisa .. for the right $$$ .. I've got some GREAT pictures of her *ewg*

Or is it Memorex??
(QuietLady) Hey ruffian.....is this you or your sprout?
(ruffian1) ITS THE REAL THING

Excuses, excuses....
(gppLisag) pam must had to do alot of laundry she is late again lol
(gppPAM) whoops..sorry Lisa. Was doing my email and didn't notice the time
(BruceM1) OK, everyone out of the basement, Pam is back :-)

Whiz's spot in the newsletter....
(gppPAM) Will ya'all guarantee Whiz a spot in the newsletter and save us all? lol
(GKBurg) ok, WHiz, you're in:);)
(Sizz514) Someone put a gag in Whiz's mouth :D
(WKally) or hold his hands!
(ruffian1) NAH JUST a BEER BOTTLE with a NIPPLE.....lolol
(Athena1) let him rant and rave
(skateawy) a poet in our midsts LOL
(Athena1) waiting for 20 whizz
(Athena1) breathing heavy
(gppWHIZ) #20 can't be shown here
(EUCHem) trumpy is bound to get ya
(gppLisag) lets hope he does EUCH
(EUCHem) he goes to 50
(Sizz514) well email us a whole list, Whiz
(gppLisag) please trumpy mute whiz
(Athena1) too bad tis isn't here to help whizz along
(Kaliki) GPPWHIZ/JRXLY VRS TOMSKI/MILADY401
(gppWHIZ) they think they found a way to shut me up hmmm

Anybody got a rope?....
(ConnieB) oh LOL have been tied up last few saturdays :(
(jrxly) Connie who tied you up????
(EUCHem) lucky u connie
(Sizz514) oh ... Connie gone kinky?
(EUCHem) NERF HANDCUFFS???
(BruceM1) OK, everyone over to Connie's house :-)
(ruffian1) oooooohhhhh KINKY CONNIE........i like that name.....lolol

Head count....
(MarkCCC) 72 is this a record?? (Note: nope, we've had over 80)

He had high hopes, he had high hopes, he had high, apple pie in the sky, hopes....
(wulhers) so Fool you think we can break the record low for points last tourney??
(wulhers) i'm shootin for 1 pt
(BruceM1) record low last week was -3, hard to beat that :-)
(OgreJim) going for -10 this week. lol
(MrF00L) well that was fast
(wulhers) well we tied the record
(MrF00L) was that five alones in one game or six?
(wulhers) that was just pathetic fool
(wulhers) i think the puter forgot to shuffle the suits

The drinks are on the house....
(Putertut) Drinks for everyone in the house except u Trumpy, u get nasty when u drink

The thrill of victory....
gppLisag) that was a great game
(BruceM1) not fair, Pam used extortion to get the win :-)
(gppPAM) only a liittle or is that like being a little insane?
And the agony of defeat....
(gppPAM) another early night out of euchre for old Pammy : )
(gppLisag) lol well we tried pam
(Foly2) zut Pammy lol
(Athena1) better than last time pam
(gppPAM) I'm going to go where a spade is a spade and not a club
(gppLisag) lol me to back to where we belong
(JoAnneP) Sheesh Pammy . . . y'all gotta start winning so you're here for ALLLLLLLLLL of Pick on Pammy Night!!! LOL!!!!

Oh...and one last question (when did he sneak in?)....
(theflirt) do we have to register for this tourney or not?
(Kaliki) 
(JoAnneP) 
(GKBurg) 
(BigParrot) 

With friends like this, who needs enemies? LOL!!
(Sizz514) Hey Greg & Jo ... see why I wanted to play against QLs :)
(Susan34) yea ok we know you won rub it in with that score too

Easy for you to type . . .
(WKally) MERIPOPIN/JRMINT 5 STORM/WKALLY 10
(WKally) THAT SHOULD BE STOR64
(WKally) I MEAN STORM64 (ANYONE HAVE BETTER FINGERS FOR SALE)
(BigParrot) sorry... only have wings here :))
(ruffian1) got 2 hooves if you want them

Just say NO!! ;)
(nomad48) Just Say No to Ladder
(GKBurg) nomad sounding a bit like Nancy Reagan ;op
(JoAnneP) LOL Nomad . . . Just say NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ;))))

Not winning, being dragged . . .
(Sizz514) the Monkey dude winning tonight?
(PJmonkey) keep dreaming SIZZ
(PJmonkey) norma wins and drags me along

The thanks we get for not making a typo . . .
(Kaliki) HANG ON FOR YOUR NEXT TABLE KWALLY (WKALLY) AND STROM (STORM)
(Storm64) ok
(WKally) K
(Kaliki) oh sure...i go to all that trouble to typo your name, Kally...and all i get is a *k*
(Kaliki) lol
(WKally) ; ] K

Paying off Trumpy helps . . . OR the ONLY one who didn't get kicked!! ;)
(menz) she did marvelous :)
(ConnieB) who me?
(JoAnneP) Connie did??? Well SHAZAMMMMMMMMMM!!! LOL!!! ;))))
(ConnieB) bite me jo :)
(JoAnneP) ROFL!!! Can she say that??? ;opppppppppppppppp
(menz) yes u connie
(ConnieB) yeppers :)
(ConnieB) ty pard :)
(Kaliki) trumpy votes...yes
(JoAnneP) LOL!!! Can't I make him kick her??? ;))))))
(ConnieB) see what happens when ya pay the BIG guy? lol
(JoAnneP) LMAO!!! ;))))
(ConnieB) nope menz needs me :)
(Kaliki) you can sure try Jo :)
(menz) too right, i need you.. Jo back off
(ConnieB) so there jo!! *neener*

DON'T CALL ME MA'AM!!! GRRRRRRR!!! LOL!!!
(PJmonkey) yes mam
(JoAnneP) How old do I look on here??? Will everyone please stop calling me Ma'am!!! ROFL!!! ;))))
(Lynn10) yes ma'am
(Dunf) yes Ma'am
(GKBurg) Yes'm ;);)
(PJmonkey) OK mam
(JoAnneP) ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!
(Kaliki) yes, ma'am :)
(Lynn10) she's soooo easy
(GKBurg) LOL .. isn't she though ;);)

When is this thing over???
(Lynn10) i thought tourneys only last 10-15 min tops
(GKBurg) LOL
(JoAnneP) WOW!!! Lynner and Orgy made it!!! Wonders never cease!!! Hehehehehehehe!!! ;))))
(OgreJim) for us they usually do. lol
(GKBurg) I think you're thinking of men, Lynn ;)
(MystOne) Jim likes the quickies!!
(OgreJim) long and slow and never ending. lol
(Ladyzee) And you know this Myst ????
(MystOne) LOL
(JoAnneP) LOL MystOne!!! ;))))
(MystOne) Just guessing!!!!!!
(JoAnneP) LOL Lady!!! ;))))))))))))
(OgreJim) aww you can tell hon. lol
(Lynn10) if i've got something to do.. i schedule it after my tourney... be here 9:15
(GKBurg) LOL
(Ladyzee) LOLOL
(MystOne) LOL
(JoAnneP) ROFL!!!! Jim advertising again??? ;))))
(OgreJim) bragging. lol
(MystOne) WELL.......I was talking about euchre!!!!!!!
(JoAnneP) Afraid to ask!!! LOL!!! ;))))
(JoAnneP) Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Myst!!! LOL!!!
(Lynn10) umm.. did i miss somthing important here??????? LOL
(JoAnneP) Better ask Jim, Lynner!!! It's YOUR job to make him behave!!! ;))))
(Lynn10) lol... tried that already jo
(Lynn10) jim gets me so excited, i don't know what to do with my ace
(JoAnneP) Watch out Lynner . . . LOTS of people here will tell you what to do with your ace!!! ;))))

SloRide entertaining the troops . . .
(SloRide) What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?
(SloRide) A: They were both upset when Bill finished first..
(SloRide) Why are there more women than men in Heaven?
(SloRide) If it were more, it would be Hell.
(Lynn10) you have to ask , slo?? thought the answer was obvious lol
(JoAnneP) LOL, Slo!!! ;))))
(Lynn10) (c)¿(c)
(Kaliki) what i think is amazing...is that 30% actually make it in...they must need someone to take out the trash
(GKBurg) You mean someone to take care of all the problems the women get themselves into, K!!! ;opp
(SloRide) A fool and his money are soon... Hey! Where's my wallet?
(Kaliki) Slo...trust me on this one...your kids spent it...lol
(SloRide) Mixed emotions: When your mother-in-law drives your new car over the cliff.
(SloRide) Why shouldn't you have sex with your wife first thing in the morning?
(SloRide) Because you've got all day to find something better!
(SloRide) Bumper sticker I saw: HORN DOESEN"T WORK watch for finger........
(SloRide) Sex is NOT the answer.....Sex is the question. YES is the answer!!!
(GKBurg) hehehehe .. good one, Slo :-)
(JoAnneP) LOL!!! ;)))))
(SloRide) What is the new O.J. website address?
(SloRide) slash slash backslash escape.
(SloRide) What did the banana say to the vibrator?
(SloRide) What are YOU shaking for? She is going to eat me!
(SloRide) What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?
(SloRide) About three inches.
(SloRide) What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
(SloRide) One is made of plastic and dangerous for children to play with... the other is used to carry groceries.

The new weekend long tourney concept . . .
(Lynn10) how long we have to wait?? gotta work monday...hehe
(Kaliki) can you call in sick Lynn?
(Lynn10) they figure that already, kaliki
(OgreJim) she owns the company so probably. lo
(Kaliki) party time at work then...lol
(Lynn10) yeah... who's going to fire me.. SO THERE!!! lol

How to politely kick someone from your room . . .
(ConnieB) menz...i'm closing table...just so you know i'm not being rude to you :)
(GKBurg) And I thought u 2 were in tehre doing the wild thang, connie ;)
(ConnieB) LOL nope :)
(GKBurg) what happen.. mikey fall asleep again???
(JoAnneP) Mikey is used to it Connie . . . he's always getting stuck in the door!!! LOL!!!!
(ConnieB) LOL
(ConnieB) well, i like to be the last one to leave so ppl don't think i'm rude... :)
(Kaliki) nothing menz likes better than a nice nap in front of the computer monitor....at least he finished playing first this time....
(ConnieB) so i forewarned him :)

How fresh is she? ;)
(Lance34) ##### HAPPY B / D LYNN ARE YOU AN OLD SOCK ? OR A FRESH UN : ))
(Lynn10) STILL GOT A FEW WASHINGS LEFT IN ME.... but it's not my birthday..LOL

A tourney by any other name . . . might be better!! LOL!
(Ladyzee) Weird title .....Winners of the Loosers Bracket LOL
(meripopin) consolation!!!!
(Kaliki) the first winners of the looser bracket this spring :)
(jrmint) hey how do you think i feel i came in second on the losers bracket that makes me the loser of the losers bracket

Words of Wisdom??? LOL!
(ConnieB) closeness only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and bathrooms when you're pregnant...

*Please Note . . . Whiz risked life and limb (okay, okay . . . he REALLY just risked being continually kicked . . . LOL) to bring us all some funny jokes, so we've decided to put together a page just for Whiz and anyone else out there with jokes to share . . . just don't forget that we do have to conform to community standards . . . so nothing too off-color please! ;) Anyway, we're in the process of getting that page finished. It should be completed by the end of the week. If you have any jokes to add to the page, please e-mail us at euchtourney@geocities.com and we'll include them if we can! ;) This will save us from having to wade through a GIANT chat log and save y'all from having to cut and paste all your jokes!! LOL!!!

Nice title for a movie but it didn't go far enough explaining the real truths. You might know there are differences in the natures of the beasts, cats and dogs, men and women, but it goes much farther than one likes to slobber all over you and the other doesn't.

Cats and dogs have different reactions to the same action. For instance, look at a dog for any extended period of time and the dog will find it affectionate. Do the same to a cat, it becomes a hostile act. Different natures. A woman pulls up to a stop light and looks at the man in the car next to hers. Reverse the scenario. Get the picture?

Well... it's the same in the game. The truth about cats and dogs is, we don't play euchre the same, we don't converse the same, we don't even have the same intentions with the same line of type. The ratio of men-women seating in any given game will inherently change the entire ambiance.

The all-men game is pure euchre. The conversation usually consists of:
"Game?"
"k"
"k"
"k"
"see ya"
"later"
We prefer not to waste energy. Punctuation is draining. Conversation pointless. We have nothing to say to each other. We just want to play euchre and hurt the other team as bad as possible. If we do have a chat-prone buddy in the game it will become evident in a slam-dunk situation.
"YES!"

I'm not saying we prefer all-male games. No sirree! We will do anything in our power to get a woman to the table. We just don't have much power. Men are not in their element in converse-orientated environments. Yes, ladies... you have the upper hand there.

The best part about an all-male game is total relaxation. Feet up, snacks crumbling on our reclined chests, the ball game on the TV next to the monitor, the other game on the radio to the other side, no interruptions between swigs. It's a mouse only game. No keyboard. No sitting up. We love it!

There is a lot of pride in the all-guy game. Winning is the total focus. It's almost guarantees that two people are going to click out without a word at play's end. It's personal.

The all-woman game. Hmm I can't speak from personal experience but I can tell you what we THINK you are doing in there. Lots of LOL and chatting, right? Probably the least dirt-competitive of all games. I imagine you discuss lady magazine articles and talk about which guys are asses and make awful partners. If you hold true to form, I'd say some all-women games would hold the record for length. Four BRBers seated at one table? What horrors to ponder! I take my hat off to you, ladies, and concede that your day never ends. But you have to admit, you do a lot of baby care, laundry and wandering in the games. Most men do not share your dexterity with the chat screens and do not even attempt to keep up with the lobby and ICQ messages while playing.

Once I stumbled into a table of all women to say "hi" to one of them. I received no reply for 7 minutes. One of them got up to go to the bathroom. You've got it, they all scampered off together. Does it really take 7 minutes??? Tell the truth. You don't just do your business and return. You get the morning coffee ready, let the dog out, check the crib and tousle your husband's hair before you return, right? Or you get back first and find this would be a good time to return some e-mail. Am I close? Why does Prissy returning after attempting to fetch a doctor for Melanie in "Gone With the Wind" keep coming to mind?

Do you really paint your nails while playing???

The fun comes in when you have a guy-gal mix. This isn't always easy to arrange with the set-up at GPP so you are wide open for any possible combination. One women and three men makes an interesting game. Keep in mind that men do try to alter their nature in front of a woman. Allow me to let you in on a little man-secret. Typing LOL and happy faces does not come natural to us. We had to work on it. We had to adjust, adapt and brace (even grit teeth) to learn to type gc gc gc gc gc over and over. NE 101 was not a favorite class. When we do it, we do it for you, ladies. So one of you is required to make it happen in any given game.

The other major adjustment is the attempt to portray suave, witty and sexy sides of ourselves as soon as you appear in a game. Remember the kid down the street that kept spraying stones and attempting to pop wheelies with his bike whenever he rode by you at about age 12? It's like that. Put three men and one woman at a table and it could go any number of ways but no matter how the set-up goes, one thing that's almost a given is that the thoughts will remain typeless.

The first thought we are going to withhold from the chat screen is towards the SOB host who took the women for his pard. Since we are basically there to compete, he's won the first round. BUT, this also could set up one of the most satisfying moments. Should the women then say, "Could you reseat us? Milo's with me."

Ah! Gotcha, ya jerk! (All guys that get the woman or have a faster car are temporary jerks in our eyes). "Little fast on the start button? hee hee hee ". It's all primate emotion. An entire vision explodes in the mind. You see the first Neanderthal clubbing the woman but before he can get a grip on her hair another male steps up and clubs him. You grab up a sliver of wood that splintered off the host's club and pick your teeth with it until the dust settles. Then we all sit down and play a civilized game of cards. Mind you, this all played out in near total silence. But it is occurring.

Trouble is, you have to quickly rethink the jerk status and pray the guy with the girl is a little low in the suave, wit and sexy departments. Once tagged, though, we usually don't make much effort. Competitively we now actually have the edge up but the woman rules the room. Any directed comment feels lavished. She can control how hard the men play to beat each other up.

Three women and one man. Ah, heaven. Most of the time you don't have to do anything but play cards. They will just go about their business of chatting and laughing. The lone male just sits there and allows themselves to be the target of whatever way the flow of conversation turns. If your team euchres the other, it will be your fault. You will take the lion's share of the good and the bad. You are also treated to, what I call "film clips" of what an all-female game must be like, only milder. Expect the play to be slow but charming. Type a lot of smiley faces and don't close your eyes.

Coupled games. There are three versions of the coupled games. Four total strangers, two strangers and a partnership, and two partnerships. All have their amusing aspects. Probably the most interesting one is the table of strangers. Never... I say never... in my entire on-line life at any game site, have I seen the host assemble two women and two men and pair them as partners. It's an unspoken rule... unacceptable behavior... grounds for banishment. Even if you prefer your own sex you damn well better assume the other three do not and defer to that premise.

The host is in a delicious situation of selecting one of the two and dropping the other on their counterpart. Just making that choice tells you a lot about what they might be seeking for their nightly entertainment. Will he pick "StraightFromNunhood" or "TossedFromEden"? Will she select "Booger" or "Pecs4U"?

Now comes the action... the real action. The cards are played and the players reveal themselves. Who's going to turn on the charm. Which guy is going to be the first one to question their partner's playing style. The most horrifying situation is when you get parded with "StraightFromNunhood" and "Tossed" is tossing all her comments and LOLs your way. Trust me, "Booger" is over there trying to euchre your @&%#$ dumb A$# on every play. He'll become totally non-verbal except, maybe to order everyone to "PLAY!" or "Smart move, Peccy!" It can get ugly.

Couples upon couples... let me rephrase that... clear your inner visions... partnerships teamed with partnerships are interesting in an entirely different way. Once one couple opens the door, both are free to discuss their day and go off into total tirades of some unfinished conflict. The comments are less imaginative and more reality set. There's no surprise in a partner you know "sending a boy" because they've done it before...much to your dismay, so you're less likely to hold your comment than with a perfect stranger. Less latitude all around.

Occasionally a couple/couple game will turn into a display of which couple is the most loving. This is a difficult situation for the male to be put in. Not only does he have to reach far inside himself to find any minute reservoir of charm, he's also got to be quick with the totally fabricated insinuations his partner is throwing out there for the other team to believe, and play it out like you know what she's talking about. It's almost work.

Now put that same couple into a game with two strangers and the show changes. Each team is setting a stage for the other. It's almost the duty of the partnership to hold back and see if the new team will take to one another. Usually one of the females initiates this and the response of the male will be the tell-all as to how everyone in the game will proceed from there. If it goes well, the partnership team can become cheerleaders or instigators. For the strangers, it's usually amusing to the woman and she'll chime right in. For the male? This could make the evening easy, or insufferably painful.

Other differences between cats and dogs? Something as simple as, "Where are you from?" A woman means... "Where are you from?". A man means. "Come on babe, give me some clues... area.. age... disposition".

If a woman says, "Where did you learn to play like that," it means you did good. If I man utters that line, rut roh.

If a woman says "BRB", it could be anywhere between 3-10 minutes and there is no telling if she actually returned or if cousin Jethro is now sitting in across from you. When a man says, "BRB" I wouldn't begin talking about him... you'll hardly know he's missing. It's a lot like leaving for a party together. When a guy thinks you are leaving at 8, he's standing at the door with his coat on at 8. It's the same when he leaves his monitor for a BRB. We are sprinting! It's become a decathlon... going for the personal best. The fridge light might still be flooding the room, wrappers might be flying.. but we will be quick! A woman assumes a date at 8 means finishing the makeup and begin looking for her shoes. Then there's that annoying spot checking... or whatever it is.. when you amble all over the house doing this or that. God knows what that's about. So that's how I envision the BRB's. Some sort of pageant walk finished with a fashionably late reentrance.

Now don't take anything I say with too much sincerity. These are just observations, experiences and ratios that constantly buzz my head but never truly land. Dogs might be more unconditionally loving and affectionate and cats might be more independent and into self licking, so I'd say one points more toward a woman and another a man. But trust me... no matter how complimentarily intended, don't use my twisted logic to call ANY woman a dog. You WILL regret it.

Jo . . . yes, I do smile now and then!! ;)))

We just want to thank everyone for their patience in waiting for us to assign the initial matches . . . don't forget to sign up EARLY this week so we can start immediately! To sign up now click here! ;) Also, don't forget to check out the message board and to post a message or two yourself! I promised (was actually forced into this) to post a picture of myself in the newsletter this week . . . now I just have two things to say here . . . I *will* get Dunf and ConnieB back for this AND I showed you mine, MystOne . . . now you promised to show me yours . . . cough it up!!! LOL!!! ;oppppppp Take care everyone and may the Euchre Gods smile down upon you! ;)))

This week's Top Ten Question was . . . Star bright, star light, I wish I may I wish I might, have this euchre wish I wish tonight . . .

10. just to last more than two games this week (jrmint)

9. To be looking into my pards eyes, instead of the monitor. (JimboLimo)

8. that I can be the best darn tootin grand trump master (wulhers)

7. When euchre game goes into nite... hubby will still give me lovin til daylight (EUCHem)

6. for bowers in front of me and bowers across from me all night long (gusty2)

5. I wish with my eyes held way tight...for all my loners to be loners and not euchres!!! (specialty)

4. I wish happiness to all .. a hot date with a doll .. and lastly .. a game where i can call !!!!!!! (gppWHIZ)

3. good cards, a good pard and opps that aren't really too hard :p (meripopins)

2. I wish I may, I wish I might...not HAVE to tell them "ne" tonight!!! (Quietlady)

And the number one answer this week . . .

1. I wish I may, I wish I might... find my pard always with my right! (Steven2u)

Next week's Top Ten Question is . . . What wave file do you think should come standard in the GPP euchre program?