How Did you get that E-Mail
address?
When you first start an online service you know the first screen name you always try is your own. I tried Ed. Of course AOL suggested ED3587248979278469…etc etc. Just recently I wondered who are these people who got the screen names like Ed, John, and Tracy. I went through the AOL member profiles and the people had many funny things to say. Most of them said “No I am not the Bob you know .” I was about to call off the search but the last person I found explained it all. Here are some of the best profiles.
Member Name: John
Location: Maryland
Sex: Male
Personal Quote: i get too many
"wrong number" emails
Member Name: Bob
Sex: Male
Member Name: Emily
Sex: Female
Hobbies: Soccer and other sports
Computers: I don't know
Occupation: Student at Waverly
Personal Quote: I am not the Emily that you think you know
You have to admit you all wanted this one…
Member Name: CHRONIC MASTER
Location: DENVER COLORADO
Sex: Male
Marital Status: SINGLE
Hobbies: GOING TO MOVIES HAVING FUN WITH MY DOG,WATCHING SPORTS
Computers: COMPAQ
Occupation: LANDSCAPER
Personal Quote: DONT SLEEP YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU MISSING
Member Name: Billy
Location: Billy, Billy, Billy
Sex: Male
Marital Status: Single
Hobbies: Billying
Computers: Billy
Occupation: Billying
Personal Quote: Billy Rules
Jackie left this making you wonder if he wants the crazy mail
Member Name: jackie chan.
Member Name: DAVID BUTLER
Location: Silver Spring, MD USA
Personal Quote: Don't send me email. I'm NOT the "David" you want!
Judy gives another celebrity message that probably nets her about 1000 mails a day
Hobbies: judge judy
Member Name: Patrick M
Location: Maryland
Sex: Male
Marital Status: Single
Personal Quote: If your friend's name is Patrick email him -- not me.
Member Name: Steve Case
Location: Vienna, VA
Sex: Male
Occupation: Chairman/CEO of America Online, Inc.
Personal Quote: We're all pioneers in building this new interactive medium, which someday will be as important as TV or the phone. It is an exciting time -- and we should all share it. Please tell everyone about AOL, so they can join us on the electronic frontier.
WOW Steve what a great quote you are on my buddy list man. Your cool.
Member Name: Charlie Duhhh!!!
Location: Virginia USA
Sex: Male
Marital Status: so single
Hobbies: many
Computers: a fast one
Occupation: when I find the time
Personal Quote: Ehhhhh To Hell with it
Heres Jonny, and look what he had to tell you.
Personal Quote: Odds are I am not the Jonny you know.
This is it this lady ended the search check out her web page. It tells you how to get the really great screen names. She’s the one.
Member Name: Leslie F (33 for the record)
Location: Southern California (Diamond Bar)
Sex: Female
Marital Status: Single (Divorced)
Hobbies: Major Golf Case, Hanidcap 2 (+ or - a few depending on the work load)
Computers: Macintosh, Macintosh Macintosh
Occupation: Web Designer, Macintosh Consultant/Trainer/Presente r
Personal Quote: I do not check email here. sorry. blame it on the screen name!
Hometown HomePage: <A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/leslie/">
http://hometown.aol.com/leslie/ </A>
Note: Please do not harass these people any more then they already are.
Many people have expressed
interest in a @edwardcapriolo.com email address J. Send a request and
you have got one. You can get Bob@edwardcapriolo.com!!!
Don’t miss out.
Am I stealing your desktop
from you?
Someone recently mentioned something to me, they said, “Ed before you first used my computer, my desktop had like 3 things on it, my computer, my documents, and the recycling bin. Now look at it its like 4 rows I don’t even know what this stuff does.”
HAHA. You don’t know how evil I
am when it comes to getting people to install pointless apps on their computer.
See most of my friends are pet about hard drive space. “OMG you have to delete
that I only have 3.2 Gigs left!” HAHA. Just wait till they get on the Edward
level.
The first thing you have to
download at your house is some type of game to appease me. I “suggest” you
download MW4 as soon as possible. Then slowly utilities like WinZip start
appearing, to run my java programs you need the Java Virtual machine, Corel
draw. Before you know it you are just a backup incase my hard drive crashes.
You have to learn to face it it’s the truth. You have these utilities for the
greater good.
I don’t know how I got like this.
I used to keep everything in a directory called ZZZZZZZ, but my z key does not
work well so that idea fell through. But why is my desktop like this? I refer
to it as the trickle down document theory. You see all the important documents
start on the desktop, but as I lose interest they are supposed to Trickle Down
in to other Directories, but that does not seem to work and everything stays on
the desktop. I have tried everything making folders on the desktop etc, but no
good files keep piling up and piling up. Some of the files are on the desktop
but off the screen. I counted the files 13 notepad 17 word 20 shortcuts 7
images 12 folders (filled with files that used to be on the desktop) and 8 zip
files. My recycling bin is a graveyard for desktop files with one or two words
on them. Or things I lost so I made another copy of.
When I want to use NetZero I cant
even double click. I just hit N and the focus jumps off screen then I hit
enter. I even made multiple windows logins to try to solve the problems. One
for web site work, one for programming, one for other people so they wont ruin
my desktops, but I am too lazy to log in with them.
I don’t even want to get started
with my start menu its huge.
By Boris
Editors Note: Boris’ story
continues my shopping saga, Boris also gives great arguments why spelling is
not important, and I totally agre!
OK guys, I want to let you in a little secret. You know
what? I hate weekends! Not that I have something against the weekdays working
people and their only escape from the craziness. It's just my family. Because
the weekend is the only time when my family gets together. It's true that I see
my parents every day, but I certainly can't call this SEEING them because
everyone is busy, preparing for the next day. Sometimes I get to see my parents
for 1-2 hours daily, which kinda cool, if u ask me, but it's a knife with two
edges. What did I mean, you would ask? Well let me tell you. I don't get to see
my parents for almost the whole week, which is just perfect, and I completely
forget that they exist. But then when the weekend comes it finds me absolutely
unprepared to oppose them.
A nice way
to miss some of the weekend is to sleep till late. Sleeping is a waste of time,
and I like wasting my time. Especially when I’m at school. But this is
different kind of a story. Anyway, Saturday morning I would stay in bed till
like 11-12. I’m usually awake from like 9 but then I know that my family is
already up and everyone is going back and forth, so I don't wanna be there
right now. There are two things that get me out of bed on Saturday morning.
1) THE PHONE In case you don't know, my family can't speak
English good enough. So what happens, when the phone rings? BOOOORIIISSSS!!!!!
I can't simulate a deep sleeping bastard after the phone ring and my mother's
yellings, so I would grab the receiver and I would listen to all kinds of phone
offers they have out there. I can't believe they sell all this crap by the
phone! You know what I did before? I would say: "We are new in the
country, we don't have credit card, stop bugging us!!!" Nope! Works once
out of ten times. The bastards are too fucking helpful and would spell their
addresses so we can send them a damn check. They got you again, you would say,
but I have severe problems spelling. It isn't that hard to learn the damn
alphabet, of course, but I have a good excuse for that too. See, when you
already know 4 languages you confuse the damn alphabet so much that u don't
even bother learning it. I know how the letters look like, I just can't
pronounce them right. Do u believe that I can actually pronounce some letters
in 3 different ways? Well, anyway, I was speaking about the phone. Yeah, I'm
the phone guy in the family. I hate this f**ing machine! Lets say my family
needs a credit card, I have to pretend I'm my father on the phone, because if
he tries to apply, he won't get a damn thing. I think I did a good a good job
on this one because my father got a visa classic and changed my waking up time
2 hours earlier. Reason?? Shopping.
2) SATURDAY SHOPPING. Ok, let me make something clear.
Shopping gets done on Saturday. Big shopping. My father shops in my family. But
my mom gives him the money. He's the organized one. Let's say mom decides to
prove something and go shopping one day. All we buy is junk food and candy and
we get to starve for the week. Till the next Saturday. My father, on other hand
will buy everything we need and we will eat nice food all week long, but we get
to put the candy bars in the car while he's watching on the other side. Of
course he'll ask at the cashier "is this ours?" But we'll say that we
put it in a minute a go and he'll be too confused and won't answer. There's
almost nothing wrong with that you'll say. And you consider yourself a normal
person, that doesn't bother helping his family. Well let me clear myself! I'm
nothing close to normal! OK? So anyway, I'll let my father go shopping one day
alone. When he comes home he turns the house into a battle field. The apartment
I mean, yeah we live in apartment so the neighbors can hear everything. Good
thing they don't understand Bulgarian. What will I do next time? I would go
with him because otherwise he won't stop talk the whole day + he won't miss to
call me and my brother "dorks". I have something little to keep me
sane. Away from his level. When I put the shopping bags in the car trunk I
would throw them in and because I know he would try to fix them and make sure
nothing will spil in the trunk. The funny thing about that is that he never
misses to hit his head in the hood. Hahahha. Maybe this doesn’t sound very sane
to you, but it keeps me calm. Every time I visit the town supermarket I hope to
meet people at my age, people like me.... ummmmmmmmmmm no! Never! Too bad!
After the
Saturday shopping I can relax because there’s practically nothing left to do. I
would watch TV or fight with my brother over the computer till 5 o’clock. The
time between noon and 5 is the “dead” period, meaning that nothing happens.
Usually my father works on Saturday, so it gets really quiet and we can sit
staring dumb at the TV awaiting 5 o’clock. What happens at 5, you’ll all ask.
Well 5:00 , every Saturday on 25th channel is the Bulgarian TV. Oh,
man! U should see this! Everyone who missed this incredible show must see it at
least once. I have no words to describe it. It’s just incredible.
Editors Note: Bulgarian TV! LOLOLOLO if only I had cable.
Tape it for me!
Then I suddenly wake up at 9o’clock in the morning on Monday
and I can’t figure out what did I do after 5 on Saturday and the whole Sunday.
I think I slept, but I feel like I did something that I quite not remember…
In hindsight I wish I had registered Capriolo instead of Edward Capriolo.Com. Only because I know the name Capriolo is most likely not my true last name. Most of you know that immigrant families that came to America got names “given” to them. Most of the time you were asked to pronounce your last name, and the immigrant officials pretty much had artistic license to spell it any way they wanted. This is another important message if you are ever immigrating to a country don’t mess with the immigration employees. You might get a game that translates very poorly, I am sure my great great grandfather had some kind of attitude with the guy and now we are all paying the price.
I am going to let you
know that if you look up capriole in a good dictionary you might find the
picture of a goat. Nope I am not kidding a capriolo is a goat, a capriole is
when a horse jumps over one of those damn gates. This does not really bother
me, I am not going to change my name or anything, and infact I think its cool.
But most people can trace their ancestors quite a way back and let me tell you
why I can’t do that.
My father’s side of
the family literally took secrets to the grave. It seems my family did not like
each other much. My father’s aunt lived 3 blocks from him and my great
grandmother disliked her so much that she never told him about her aunt. They
only found out at a funeral when many people showed up, most of whom she did
not like.
So anyway I am going
to start my own little project as to figuring out how my name is really spelt.
Anyone who finds anything will be rewarded with good Karma for life and other
things only this web site can grant, like eternal youth and such.
PS word thinks my
name is Carpool do you guys want to call me Edward Carpool?