joke #3 I have to admit this took a little while to sink in but it is funny as hell

 A husband brings his pregnant wife to the hospital.  He's very worried about her upcoming delivery. The nurse says, "Are you the father?" He says, "Yes, how is she doing?" Nurse replies, "She'll be fine.  I think you would be the perfect candidate for a new device we created.  It allows you to feel the pain your wife is feeling. Would you like to share this experience with her?" He says, "I'd love to.  I love my wife very much, and I know this would bring us closer together." So, they take him to the delivery room and hook him up to the machine.  He sees his wife and she's screaming with pain. "Ok, we'll give you 20% of her pain... do you feel anything?" "No I don't. Give me more", he says. "Alright, here's 50% of her pain... are you feeling anything?" "Not a thing, nurse.  Give me all of it, I want 100% of her pain." "Ok, here goes... anything?" "Well, I do feel a little funny, but that can't be it.  Look at my wife, she's screaming like never before." The nurse says, "I guess you're a real tough guy, then.  In all our other experiments, the father never took more than 50%." So, they're driving home with the newborn.  He's feeling real good because he took all the pain she had to give and shared her experience.      They pull into the driveway and guess what they see...  the mail-man is lying on the front yard, dead.