BigBreez: So there I was, minding my own business, when out of no where I start getting hit with things. So I retaliate fire against Mike. Then that bastard goes to far and takes my Poland Spring Water. I fought in Nam just to have the privilege of a crisp Poland spring water during lunch, but he took it opened it up for the first time (it was still unopened like a little girl) and mixes it with iced tea ruining it. I demand a dollar for my troubles and when he doesn't comply I eradicate him with my secret weapon

a piece of bagel with butter, so I let it fly and he gets butter all over his shoulder, it was so sweet, and he goes ballistic. We argue for like 10 minutes, and mike tries to through cream cheese at me but like the classic queer that he is hits me with the back leaving me clean, we argue some more, the rest of the table is on mikes side because they are in love with him and always take his side no matter who is arguing, then I figure out that if this kid Anthony had not stolen my seat which I sit in every

day the whole thing would have been avoided, then some crazy teacher told us to clean up our mess and we were like "hey fuck you, you fucking guy" in the words of mike. the end