Dear Walt + Don,
If I win your trivia contest, I would like to receive the vacuum cleaner for my prize. I already have a mixer and a
couple of rings.
Thanks,
Nancy
Mr. Becker recurs: All right. This is the kind of mail we like to get from the kind of fan we need, i.e., a
woman. Where do we send the Electrolux?
Hi Guys,
Greetings from Germany!
Just came across your great home page which I think is one of the best of its kind. Furthermore, it is phantastatic
that you are recording and touring again. Finally, the dark days of music seem to be over.
HOWEVER!!! Please don't forget us people here in Europe. After all, it were our grandfathers who discovered
your island. So, PLEASE come and tour Europe this summer or autumn.
Hope to see you live this summer!!!
Your devoted fan,
Andreas
(I am using my girldfriend's e-mail address)
Sehr gut. Hat Ihr "girldfriend" einen "spellchecker"? Benutzen Sie ihn doch. wb
Hello there,
Not that you slick east coast type dudes would care about us cheeseheads in the midwest, but just for the record,
(and so you make it to the gig), Alpine Valley is in East Troy, WI, as in Wisconsin, not MI, which is Michigan.
Your tour dates web page has it listed incorrectly. I live in Milwaukee, WI. Last time I was in Florida, I told them
I was from Milwaukee, and they said, "Oh yeah, I heard Michigan won today." I said, "oh, we hate those guys."
So you see, many other folks in the U.S. seem to get WI and MI mixed up too. Well, I guess I'll see you when
you get to Wisconsin!
-Bill Frank
See what happens when you tell people you're from Milwaukee?
From: Xthecat@aol.com
Earthbound to Walter...Am staving off mini-riot from unloved and lonely cd collection . Whack has
commandeered the ProTech cd- 3(Crazy Eddie circa 1985 and still in flower) and shows no sign of relinquishing
. I , Gulliver-like , lie awake nights in fear of potential jewel box shrouding . Send appropriate codes indicating
Achilles heel (if any ) or suggest possible negotiating tactic . Have been hypnagogically transcribing solos in
fruitless effort to get free . Down to my last bits of pemmican. May God have mercy on us all .
Q. What did the Zen Priest say to the hot dog vendor?
A. "Make me one with everything"
P.S. If DF gets boring, I know all the changes, do well in tropical weather and have an excellent selection of chile
recipes .
your new friend,
XTHECAT
Thanks, chum, set a bowl of that 5-alarm stuff in front of the ProTech and the little bastard will pop out
sooner or later, that's my hunch anyway.
Dear Mr Dan:
It is our sad duty to inform you that your credit limit at the Laguna Ritz Carlton has been exceeded and that your
guest Mr Stend'or of the Rill is still in residence in Suite 305. The total cost to date of his visit is in excess of
$67,538.00 and is rising as we speak. This amount includes $23,486 to replace much of the hotel's laundry
equipment, which had been irreparably damaged by a thick residue of what turned out to be ionic aluminum left
on all the sheets and linens. Moreover, Mr of the Rill has proven to be a noisome and unruly guest, and has
evidently been entertaining continuously since his arrival here. It is believed that guests have been removed
unconscious from the suite and taken elsewhere in a black station wagon on three separate occasions.
This situation must be resolved expediently if you wish to remain a client in good standing of the Ritz Carlton
Corporation. It may be necessary to send your agent or agents to the hotel to speak to Mr of the Rill in his native
tongue and to escort him off the premises. Please do so at once.
Thank you for your consideration
Wesley Shanks, Assistant Manager
Yikes! This is indeed a sorry state of affairs, n'est-ce-fucking-pas? But no worries, Shanks - I am
dispatching my man Les Weaver this very day to fall by your place and straighten out this Stendahl
character and settle our bill. I confidently predict that things will be right as rain by the end of the
business day Friday.
