Now I would like to say I see tons of stupid stuff all over the internet... Heck even cheating wives retreat here for vengence of their cheating husbands, ever listen to "Trapped in the Closet" ? Yeah you get the picture.... Well nothing was ever as stupid as what I found when I found out even CATS have their relationship problems...
Read below... Good marriage advice for HUMAN couples...
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) Kitty Ryu(36)) and in today's case we have Kitty Ryu here with his mate who he found out had been fucking other animals behind his back without him knowing until he tried to break her hymen...
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) Animals have hymens? o.o
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Cicababa(30)) What do you have to say about your tom cat actions?
Cicababa(30) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) O_O ...uhm...Just call me tom? O.o
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) Thanks for having us Jerry. ;.; I just don't know what to do anymore. She says she loves me, but she keeps making teh luff with other kitties. ;.;
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Cicababa(30)) Do you feel any giult about running off and cheating behind your feline like this? Do you realise he only has Nine Lives?
Cicababa(30) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) *flips hair* 9? Honey, the way he lives, he'll use them up faster than most get through their 4th.
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to Cicababa(30)) But what has Ryu done to deserve this? ;.; -Breaks down and stuff- I try to be a good mate, and you always go off behind my back!
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Cicababa(30)) Thats why I say ONLY 9, Do you realise you're a major concern and he's ready to sacrifice a life for you?
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) Wait in time of destiny and need you ARE willing to sacrifice a life for your beloved cheater right?
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) Of course I would, Jerry. ;.; I luff her, but ever since she started going out clubbing every night, drinking sour milk, and coming home in the early hours... I've been so scard.
Cicababa(30) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) And that's better than what you do? You go off with other kitties, but it's not behind my back! You do it right in front of me!
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to Cicababa(30)) I told you about that. >.> We are just friends! It was a lick on the cheek!
Cicababa(30) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) A lick on the cheek I believe...but WHICH cheek? And I don't mean left or right.
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) Wait so let me get this straight, you tried to impreginate a JUST friends?
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Cicababa(30)) whooooaaa jerry jeerry!!!
Action *** (36)Kitty Ryu whimpers at the whole crowd 'Whooooooa!!' ***
itty Ryu(36) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) She keeps thinking that I did. ;.; One night, she saw me pawing home, and I licked my friend on the cheek, and she thought I was mating with her.
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) So you were licking a friend on the cheek while you two were engaged?!
Cicababa(30) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) And I'll bet you loved the cool, cream fur better than mine. Didn't you?!
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) It was just a lick between friends. ;.; Unlike her! I came in the catflap two nights ago, only to find her matting in OUR basket, with the local stray!
Action *** (9)JeRRy SpRiNgEr whoooooaaaaa!!!! jerry jerry jerry!!! ***
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to Cicababa(30)) No! Nothing was going on between us, I swear on all my nine lives. ;.;
Cicababa(30) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) I'm just a boring gray tabby. I have to take what I can get.
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to Cicababa(30)) And I'm not good enough for you anymore? Not even after stopping that bulldog from hurting you?! ;.;
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Cicababa(30)) Ooo so he stopped a bulldog from hurting you?
Cicababa(30) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) You're always smothering me. I'm not declawed, I can protect myself.
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) Yes, Jerry. ;.; And she repays me by screw that fleabag!
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to Cicababa(30)) You weren't saying that when he had you in the alleyway...
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Cicababa(30)) So you never had the chance to prove your strength to this guy?
Cicababa(30) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) He was comforting me after your betrayl with that cream-colored city cat!
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Cicababa(30)) whooooooaaa!! she switched... to dogs!!
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to Cicababa(30)) Oh, so now kitties arn't good enough for you?! -Whimper, more crying-
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) I just don't know what to do, Jerry... Nothing I ever do is good enough for her...
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) I guess fucking her wasn't either eh?
Cicababa(30) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) It's the 21st century, Jerry. We can't hold prejudice anymore...Dogs and cats need to unite.
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to Cicababa(30)) So, first you lie to me about the kitties being mine, when we made kitty luff after getting engaged, and now your... your leaving me for dogs?!
Cicababa(30) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) I like the way they growl.
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) ooooooh jerry jerry jerry jerry!!!
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Cicababa(30)) So you are leaving, with kittens for the puppy's?!
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to Cicababa(30)) -More whimpering and stuff, paws at eyes-
Cicababa(30) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) I never said I would marry a dog...They're just more fun sometimes. They're so playful and loyal...and they're all tongue.
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Cicababa(30)) Why's toungue good?
Cicababa(30) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) You should try letting a dog bathe you some time. You'll see what I mean.
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to Cicababa(30)) So, you would rather stay out all night, drinking sour milk and playing with... -dogs-, than be with me?
Cicababa(30) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) I stay out with them, but who do I come home to? Who do I share a bastket with?
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry!
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Cicababa(30)) So you have let a dog... seduce you?...
Cicababa(30) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) Who said he was doing the seducing???
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to Cicababa(30)) You say that now, but how many baskets have you been sharing with? And... how many dog houses? ;.;
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Cicababa(30)) JERRY!!!!!! So you were all over the dogs?!
Cicababa(30) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) I want Jerry beads!
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) Oh man, I feel bad for you so bad I might refund you 1% of the cost of this show...
Cicababa(30) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) If you want to leave me, fine. Abandon your kittens.
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to Cicababa(30)) But I don't want to leave you... Ryu kitty loves you... -Reaches out his cute little kitty paws, trying to hug her-
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Cicababa(30)) But wait let me get this straight, you seduced a dog correct? and expect Kitty Ryu to respect that?
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Cicababa(30)) And those weren't even his kittens?
Cicababa(30) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) Most of them are his.
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Cicababa(30)) But what about the dog?
Cicababa(30) (Says to JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9)) He was spayed
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to Cicababa(30)) -Seeing as he got no hugness, pulls back, whimpers- Action
*** (30)Cicababa nussles Ryu and places his paw on her belly.***
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Cicababa(30)) Awwwwww.....
Kitty Ryu(36) (Says to Cicababa(30)) -Whimpers- Why have you gone like this? Why can't we be like before we got engaged, and started making kitty luff? What did Ryu do wrong?
JeRRy SpRiNgEr(9) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) You breathed wrong...
Cicababa(30) (Says to Kitty Ryu(36)) *harumphs* All you ever cared about was the kitty luff. That's the only thing you ever liked about me, so I took it away. I doubt you even know my favorite kitty litter brand.
Good luck with your children, it looks as if you're going to need luck in LIFE!!!...