Kevin Matthews has been a big name in comedy radio in Chicago for over ten years. His fans are called KevHeads. You won't find any portly KevHeads, as Kevin's show has the property of being an auditory syrup of ipecac: listening to Kev's show causes his fans to vomit. I really wanted to interview his recently displaced sportscaster, Jimmy Shorts, but he was having his trach tube cleaned out, so I got stuck with Kev. Hope you're not all too disappointed. |
Ed: Oops... we're going to have to start over. Sorry, I'm an idiot.
Kev: So this is just for the newspaper then.
Ed: Right. We're talking with Kevin Matthews, who after a decade at WLUP/WMVP has moved to mornings at CD94.7, Chicago's Classic Rock. Kevin, what came first, radio or standup?
Kev: Radio.
Ed: And how did you transition from one to the other and back or how did that all work?
Kev: I started doing radio and then, back a long time ago you couldn't do 90% of what you can do on radio today so that's when we started to just do standup to fill a void, I guess, what you couldn't do on radio but now everybody's getting away with everything.
Ed: How did you meet Jimmy Shorts and how did the two of you decide to become a team?
Kev: I met him in a gay bar. He's gay and I'm bisexual and that was back in 1978. It just, I don't know, it was a good fit.
Ed: Well, I hope you don't mind if I ask the hard hitting questions here. Jimmy told me, er, I heard a rumor that the real reason you brought Jimmy on was that he was a total chick magnet and chicks were flocking to him like flies to sugar and you wanted to score with his rejects. Any truth to that rumor?
Kev: No, basically, I'm Jim's beard or Jim's my beard, but Jim's definitely pro-man.
Ed: Okay, you'd say he's a man's man.
Kev: Men, ah, horses, ah... dogs.. ah... I don't know what else...
Ed: Okay, I think we get the idea. Kev, on a serious note, you've been involved in a lot of community and charity work, especially with regard to Native American issues. Currently, you're involved in work to save the last wild buffalo herd. Can you talk about that?
Kev: Well, yeah, I'm working with, it's called Buffalo Nation. There's one last sacred herd, one wild buffalo herd left in the United States, and it's down to about 1300 buffalo and they roam into Yellowstone and when they roam out the cattlemen's association will shoot them. The domestic herds here in the United States are making a great comeback but the last wild herd is being threatened and is on the edge of extinction because of racism against American Indians.
Ed: Can you explain a little more about the significance of this herd to Native Americans?
Kev: We're related to everything, literally, and the buffalo was here before human beings and it's our agreement to take care of them. They're as sacred as anything else.
Ed: Getting back to the subject of your show, you have a new sportscaster, Steve McEwen. How does that change Jimmy's role in the show?
Kev: Jim's gonna do news, Steve's probably going to get fired then Jim would move back into that role or might just fill the void. Jerome might move from traffic to sports.
Ed: What is the technology you're using to read Jim's mind while he's doing the news?
Kev: We're working with some doctors and psychologists at Loyola, and it's like an audio cat-scan. So you're able to hear his schizophrenic behavior.
Ed: That's amazing. How do you handle Jim soiling himself in the studio. Does the smell get to be a problem?
Kev: No, actually, you get used to it. It's actually a good odor after a while.
Ed: Kevin, where do you see radio five or ten years from now?
Kev: Probably, it's either going to be off or you'll be able to listen to anything you want anywhere in the world. It's totally going to change.
Ed: Where would you like to be five or then years from now?
Kev: (long pause)... Probably my daughter's wedding, good concert seats watching my son on stage... probably out in the woods with a very old Ted Nugent.
Ed: Will you be hunting with Ted?
Kev: I doubt it, we'll probably be hunting with our grandsons, so we'll just be watching while they, you know, wipe us and feed us and enjoy the harvest, if you can still do that.
Ed: Well with global warming, maybe we'll be planting and picking figs up here, do you think?
Kev: It's not about global warming, I just think there are really stupid politicians that are going to take every fucking gun off the planet.
Ed: Thanks Kevin! You can listen to Kevin Matthews weekday mornings from 5 til 9 at his new home, CD 94.7.
What's it like living with Kevin Matthews? Let me tell you, it's never been
boring.
The most romantic times in our relationship to me were the most adventurous
ones. When we were dating in Allendale, Michigan, I remember a day when we
came across a mattress that had been tossed out in a parking lot. Kevin set
it on fire, and we enjoyed the bonfire until someone called the cops on us.
Fortunately, the police were very understanding, and rather than arrest us,
they decided to join us!
A favorite pasttime of Kev and his buddies was driving through the
fully-grown cornfields. He took me on a joy-ride once, and we mowed down
half the crop with the car. Needless to say, the farmer was a little upset,
but we never confessed to it. (At least we made it out okay--one of Kev's
friends had a car that conked out in the middle of the field. He left it
there and returned to retreive it, but couldn't find the car. The worst
thing about it was that it wasn't even his car!)
Speaking of Kevin's friends, people often ask me how well I get along with
Jim Shorts. He's never really interfered in my relationship with my husband.
Of course, he's a pest and a nerd, but I love him.
You can imagine that having two kids in the house with Kevin is always
entertaining. I can still envision Kev playing with Trevor as a baby,
heaving his little body way up high--and Trev heaving all over Kevin's head.
Kev's taken his share of knocks from his darling daughter, too. Upon taking
Teague to the dentist one day, I waited in the lobby while she had her
examination. The dentist came out with a funny look on his face, and said
that Teague had just told him, "My daddy likes to dress up in ladies'
clothes." I still haven't gotten to the bottom of this revelation. I think
it has to do with a family picture we took on vacation, the kind where you
dress up as someone from the 1800's and they print it as an antique photo.
Kevin and I cracked up at the thought of him wearing a big, fancy ladies'
hat in the picture. The photo is displayed in our living room, and it has
obviously made a big impression on our daughter.
So, now you know what life with Kevin is really like. He's pretty much just
a regular guy. He doesn't walk around the house doing impressions all day,
but he is a lot of fun.
Jim Shorts is one of a kind: brash, violent, lady killer. But what is he
really like? LOOP SCOOP decided the only way to find out was to subject him
to the type of tough, uncompromising interview he himself has made famous.
We sent out our reporter, Rick Kaempfer, to find out if the "real" Jim
Shorts differs from his bigger-than-life personna heard every day on the
Kevin Matthews Show (10:30am-3pm, AM 1000.)
RK: We've gotten to know your parents over the years. They seem to be loving
and giving. Tell us something they did to you, that has screwed you up for
life.
JS: They let my brother Glenn throw gasoline on me, and Glenn held up a
match to me, but it didn't burst. And they made me go on a weekend trip with
my Uncle.
RK: Which Uncle?
JS: I can't say. He's still in prison.
RK: Jim, just out of curiosity, I've noticed your father keeps calling you
Richard. Is that your real name?
JS: I can't say. No comment.
RK: Fine. Everybody in radio seems to have a story about a boss somewhere
that made them change their name. Are there any bad radio names you
rejected?
JS: Yeah, Jack Silver and Shemp.
RK: Let's talk about the people who work with you. Tell us your professional
assessment. What do you think of Dorothy?
JS: Idiot
RK: Wendy?
JS: Babe
RK: What's the deal with the constant "switching" of Wendy & Dorothy. Are we
getting a glimpse of your home life with Wang?
JS: No, not at all. Basically, I think everyone, male or female, should be
ruled with an iron fist.
RK: What about Kevin? What do you think of him?
JS: He's an idiot.
RK: Doc?
JS: He's a violent, colored, man.
RK: Ok, enough about your "sidekicks." Let's talk about your Wang. A recent
poll of our listeners showed that only 10% actually believe you two are
"just good friends". When are you going to get off your high horse, admit
it, and marry the girl?
JS: It is very hard to bridle a stallion.
RK: Well, if Wang isn't the one, what kind of girl are you looking for?
JS: Hair. She has to have hair.
RK: Speaking of hair...Jim, you are as bald as a cueball, but yet you are
self-assured, almost cocky. I'm sure your bald fans would love to know the
secret.
JS: I call Tom Thayer. He's like my support group.
RK: Jim, what don't you sing anymore?
JS: I do. I'm actually putting a band together. It will be called Jim Shorts
and the Melody Makers. And if you're a senior citizen in a rest home, write
us and we'll come out and play for you.
RK: Play now.
JS: I'm not a monkey.
RK: Yes, but your child is. Every proud papa has a cute story about their
little ones. Tell us about Luger.
JS: I almost cried the first time we clapped our hands together and he did a
little backflip.
RK: Having a kid makes us all get a little philosophical. Let me ask you
this, and I'll let you go. If a genie suddenly appeared on your doorstep and
granted you a wish, anything at all, what would you wish for?
JS: Anything?
RK: Anything.
JS: Anything in the entire world?
RK: Yup..
JS: A new hip for Red Kerr.
When Jim Shorts was growing up in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, few would guess that
he'd become the Chicago sportscasting legend he is today. Of course, few
guessed that Jim would survive his childhood.
Born on a hot Halloween (his mother doesn't remember the year), Jim was
destined to live a life filled with ghoulish episodes, including the violent
deaths of several of his relatives and some near misses for him. Most
recently, Jim survived a dreadful car
accident while attempting to earn his driver's license.
His broadcasting career began as it did for so many before him, at the
K-Mart. It wasn't long before Jim's talents were recognized by local station
WFRT and he was hired. Then, when WLAV in Grand Rapids, Michigan, decided
they needed someone to pump up Kevin Matthew's ratings, Jim Shorts was their
man.
A great radio team was born, and in 1987 WLUP AM 1000 hired Matthews and
Shorts for the evening shift and eventually moved with Kevin to middays on
the LOOP FM 97.9 which paved the way for Jim's successful sports network.
Every morning, Jim broadcasts the #2 sports talk program (according to
Weekly
Reader), to several affilitates in Utah, Tennessee, and Gary, Indiana.
After a swimming incident in the summer of 1992, Jim and his long-time
companion, Wang, became parents on New Year's Eve 1993, when Wang gave birth
to Baby Luger at the Odeon Theater in Villa Park.
In addition to his work on the Kevin Matthews show, Jim can be seen Monday
nights at 10:30pm, hosting his own show on Sportschannel, Jim's Calvacade of
Sports.
Jim's hobbies include eating teeth, bouillon cubes, ice chips and drinking
vinegar. He admits to an unnatural attachment to Karen Carpenter, and lives
at the Hotel Tokyo, in Chicago.
His legion of followers can be heard reciting his many mantras. Is it
Ghandi? No, it's Kevin Matthews. His thousands of fans proudly proclaim
themselves as Kev-Heads, echoing the words of Kev, "Is it wrong?" Well it
hasn't been wrong for them to tune in to the Kevin Matthews show, heard
weekdays, 10am-3pm and Saturdays, 10am-1pm on the LOOP FM 97.9.
Kevin joined the fledgling station WLUP AM 1000 in 1987, starting as the
evening host. His on air popularity led to his move into mid-days and
translated to live stage shows featuring his comedic and musical talents and
playing to packed houses.
Matthews, a Detroit native, caught the broadcasting bug while at Grand
Valley
College in Allendale, Michigan. He started out at the school's now defunct
10-watt station WSRX, which had no format, and eventually lost its license.
The building, Kevin claims, is now a hair salon.
Credits short of receiving his degree in physical education, Kevin decided
to
move on to Grand Rapids and WLAV-FM, where he successfully combined a radio
career with his comedic talent. His cast of characters broadened at WLAV,
and he was soon offered a job at KWK in St. Louis. After a short stay there,
KWK was sold, and Kevin was fired--only to happily find himself at WLUP
three
months later.
In addition to his stints as a musician and a stand up comic, Kevin can be
seen in the movie, Blink and he had a small role in an episode of
"Baywatch."
Kevin's uncanny impressions include Mr. Rogers, Pee-Wee Herman, and Raymond
Burr plus he's created his own characters, Officer Squarenuts, The Man from
New York, space alien Devon, from the planet Whatitis, and Kevin's sidekick
and alter-ego, sportscaster Jim Shorts. What sets Kevin apart from all other
shows is his ability to weave these characters in and out of the show
incorporating his own quick wit.
Kevin lives with his wife, Debbie, in one of Chicago's western suburbs. They
have a son, Trevor, and a daughter, Teage.