English

10th grade Academic English: The study of authors, essays, stories, folk tales and learning how to critically think about interpreting things.

As it seems, I began this level of English in kindergarten. Yes folks, kindergarten. I say this referring to the environment, which I "learn" in everyday in English class.

In kindergarten you might recall the old carpet squares. Weren't those exciting?!? Those made my day...and still do!! Yes, occasionally my lovely English teacher conducts a community circle involving the underrated, decomposing carpet squares! We have a ball sitting in a large circle and discussing pointless things. I regularly wonder why other classes do not utilize the formality of 'carpet squaring'. I quickly realize what a moron I am for pondering such an absurd question. High school level classes should not comprise of carpet squares. Some of us are just getting too dang old to sit down like that!

How bout the 'mood chart'? Yes, the mood chart...you don't have one of those in your class?!?! The mood chart is basically a display that has like 7 different moods with a little pouch below each, and a supply of Popsicle sticks to insert into the mood you're experiencing that day. How can your teacher possibly teach with out knowing what mood everyone is in!?!? Actually...that brings up a superior point - teaching abilities. My teacher must have read about this nature of a chart being valuable in a classroom that had a teacher that educated. In our case, it's just a chart in a classroom with an English class supervisor, at best.

I was told my teacher has been to Woodstock before. I wouldn't doubt it. I wouldn't doubt it if I hear she's attending the next one either. She has a very 70's themed room. She even has a Woodstock picture...imagine that! She has a lot of Volkswagon stuff, and some lava lamps. Lets not forget the atrocious, stained hippies couch and chair decaying in the back of the room. Got to love those! She also has some corky things...well...some OTHER corky things; like Petee the bird. It's actually a stupid stuffed animal parrot looking thing shoved up to its head into a box. Supposedly this is what we're supposed to think about while we're writing essays and such. Thinking out of the box...coming out of the box. The only thing that needs to come out is her...of the closet. Who is she kidding?!? Anyways, she has some stupid clock too that has a different bird sound for each hour. We only hear the same bird everyday at 11 since we're only in there for an hour. (Thank heaven!) And the bird sounds like some asthmatic kid dieing of a severe asthma attack.

Recently I noticed her unique walking style. The first thing that comes to mind is: Wrestler. She has the wrestler strut. Its a full stride waddle. And her head bobs a lil from side-to-side with each step. That's a scarey thought though. Picturing her nasty, pale, blotchy skin in a small, skimpy bikini. Wow, that's bad. But her wrestling someone. I can picture her running around the ring screaming... then she's attacked, and they grab at her hair and WHOOPS! her wig falls off! What a sight! Oh well, after five years of the same gray, swooshed over hairstyle, it gets kinda old.

Lets discuss the grading system. Or lack of. I wouldn't call it a system actually...I perceive it as an...estimation, yes, that's it, a grading estimation. You hand in a paper...get it back with randomly placed checkmarks and a pathetic grade. It's actually not your fault its a pathetic grade. In all actuality, you can place all blame on her. You very well could have the right answer, but it just so happens she didn't put enough checkmarks on your paper. I think what happens is, she turns grading into a little game, or business. There's a maximum quota of checkmarks she can't exceed in 10 minutes. So you could get the shaft if your the last paper she grades in that 10 minute period/inning/quarter/round. That's the only logical excuse I can see in her grading estimation.