page XXXV

Just because I'm not in the keep much nowadays doesn't mean the funny doesn't happen. Please keep sending in your submissions!

The 4th of February, 2002... ...subbmitted by Pratz

Yellow spots Lirreka. "OOOOOOOH! An elf!" *She squeals*

Jerl appears crouching in the rafters, looking down upon everyone in the hall through ruby lensed sunglasses

Jerl chuckles, and drops from a rafter face first, stopping and hanging near Lirr, as if he were a spider hanging from a line of web, he nods to the matron politely, then spins and drops, landing again in a low crouch as he scans the room

Lirreka chuckles at Jerl "Good eve to you."

Jerl smiles at the matron"Do you think if I asked, I could join your house?"

Kimmurial can't help but burst out laughing at Jerl's request.

Lirreka chuckles at Jerl's question and sends one of her servants to check if a 'join the Ebonclaw house inside' sign was put up by mistake.

Jerl chuckles at the matron"Ah, I see I do inspire a laugh from the matron this eve..."

Lirreka looks at Jerl "Now why would you want to join the Ebonclaw house? Aren't you the head of a Lightskin house?" she chuckles softly.

Jerl bows to the matron once quickly and fluidly without spilling his drink, and spins on a heel and walks to the bar

Kimmurial moves easily after Jerl.

[Jerl] Ahh...Lirreka, your words do sting my heart so. The elves can burn and rot in a Hell I will personally prepare for them...as can most other beings.

Kimmurial can't help but start to like Jerl. He smirks dryly.

Jerl chuckles at Lirr"And besides, iw as born a lightskin, and died a lightskin, which makes me no longer a lightskin, and also, you know the kind of people I lead...you've seen my city of Death

Lirreka nods to Jerl "True.. it could use a bit more decoration however."

Jerl smiles to the matron once more"I'm sure a fine drowish look would be well suited to a kingdom of the undead"

SanityClause enters this room

SanityClause doth rolleth in and gets view up TheSkirtedOneSet's skirt. He doth vomitith in a corner.

Pratz doth laugheth madly at Sanity's pre-dick-ament.

SanityClause vomits forth a masturbating kit at Pratz. A magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers.

Pratz grabs the masturbating kit, and hands them to Sanity. "I believe you lost these?"

SanityClause has no genitalia.

[Pratz] "Oh. They must be Lothar's, then."

Cosira walks in, her pace measured. Her expression calm.

Cosira returns any looks with equinamity. She sniffs the air and spares a glance for anyone furry before heading to the bar.

Hadrienne_C. nods to Cosira

Cosira nods at Hadrienne_C., and smiles faintly.

Cosira reaches the bar and slides up onto a stool, kicking her high heels off onto the floor.

Pratz is a pigdog, according to Amethyst_Hawk, does that work Cosira?

Cosira chuckles quietly at Pratz and tosses him a piece of toffee.

Cosira snaps her fingers and is immediately served a glass of chilled mineral water. The NPC waiter gulps nervously until he is dismissed.

Hadrienne_C. looks at Cosira, "You look like yer in a better mood than ya were last time I saw ya....."*smiles*

Cosira nods and sips her water before replying to Hadrienne. "It's amazing what a run in the woods can do for a person's perspective."

Pratz catches the toffee in a hand and checks it out.

Hadrienne_C. chuckles, "Yeah, I bet it does..."

[Cosira] So, Hadrienne, how goes the hunt?

[Hadrienne_C.] I don't hunt anymore....

Cosira looks at Hadrienne. "No? Then what do you do with yourself?"

[Hadrienne_C.] At the moment.....not much, maybe doin some bouncer work...

Cosira nods knowingly. "I tried that for a bit. I couldn't get any work. At least not where I was at the time."

[Hadrienne_C.] I got an offer ta bounce at the wet and wild club...*smiles*

Cosira shakes her head. "Never been to that club. It must be new."

Hadrienne_C. sips on his coffee

[Hadrienne_C.] Yeah, it is....but it's one helluva good concept....

[Cosira] Really? What is it? The name is provoking.

[Hadrienne_C.] Just take a dance club with the sprinkler system on full time....and a little kiddie pool for a dance floor.....it lives up to the name...*G*

Cosira winces at Hadrienne. "Yuck."

Pratz isn't interested by clubs, Had, but that does sound cool.

Hadrienne_C. smiles, "Forgot fer a minute bout ya bein....never mind..."

Cosira snickers at Hadrienne. "Well, it's one of the downsides. I dislike getting wet. Besides, it'd ruin my clothes."

Cosira 's lips twitch. "Only if they own such things as bathing suits and underwear, I'd expect."

Hadrienne_C. grins broadly..."Some wear less."

Cosira sips her water and shoots Hadrienne a wry look.

[Pratz] "I bet some don't wear anything at all."

Hadrienne_C. laughs, "What's that look for...I didn't say I wore any less...gettin a little wet don't bother me any."

Pratz slides from one side of the room to another in one move, and plos down besides Cosira. "H'lo."

Cosira smiles at Pratz and cheekrubs her face against his for a moment. "Hiya."

Pratz grins and cheekrubs with her.

Cosira winks at Hadrienne. "I'd not be tempted into a waterclub by any amount of naked men."

Cosira looks between Pratz and Hadrienne. "Do you two know each other?"

Hadrienne_C. chuckles, I could be tempted....if the right people were round....Pratz, naww, seen him round, but don't really know him."

Cosira introduces Pratz and Hadrienne to each other.

Pratz shakes his head. "Never met him before."

Pratz offers Had a hand. "ratz Strike, Mascot."

Pratz hates the insert key.

Cosira pats Pratz on the shoulder. Mean old insert key.

Hadrienne_C. extends his own hand out to shake, "Hadrienne....but most just call me Had."

[Pratz] "Nice to meet you Had."

[Hadrienne_C.] Likewise Pratz....

Cosira sips her drink and says to Hadrienne. "So, who's club is this anyway?"

[Cosira] *whose

[Hadrienne_C.] It belongs ta Kael and his wife....

Cosira nods. 'I'm not surprised. They seem to have a yen to open as many clubs as they can. I've been spending some time in one they opened and then sold to Layista. It's for shapeshifters only. Called the Full Moon Club."

Cosira grimaces slightly. "Though, Layista's having a hard time making the rent, so he's had to let in a few non-shifters as long as they behave themselves.

[Hadrienne_C.] Yeah, I think they got a winner with this one....*chuckles*...especially if that wife of his keeps wearin that ice bikini she was last time I was there...*laughs*

Cosira blinks at Hadrienne and looks ill. " An ice bikini?? She must be into some sort of masochism.."

[Hadrienne_C.] I know what ya mean...but Kael seemed ta like it.

Cosira snorts. "Of course he would. I'd like to see him spend an evening in an ice speedo. He'd change his tune quickly enough, I expect."

Pratz snickers and mimics a middle aged women. "He;s eunuch for God's sake, Harold."

Hadrienne_C. laughs, "I'd sure as hell not like it....I hate ta take a cold shower even...."

Cosira laughs. "See? Men love it when women torture themselves, but they aren't as willing to put the spiked high heel on the other foot.

Cosira grins at Pratz. "Like a frightened turtle in a turtle neck sweater."

[Pratz] "Like a tire gauge on a dead tire. It just won't poke out."

Hadrienne_C. laughs..."Hey, I'm willin ta go through whatever any woman I'm with'll put herself through round me....to an extent at least."

Cosira snickers in the middle of sipping her water and struggles heroically to keep the carbonated water from spraying out her nose.

Hadrienne_C. grins, "I say somethin amusin?"

[Pratz] "Nooo, not at all Had. Me and Cosira did it for you. Well, Cossie'd probably do it for you, I wouldn't."

Cosira shakes her head, wiping her face with a cocktail napkin. "No, no...Pratz...well, and what you said. Together, it struck me as funny. I had a vision."

Cosira snorts at Pratz's last comment and pokes him in the ribs. "Don't volunteer me."

Pratz grins. "Hey, you don't ave to volunteer. I'll pay!" Pratz is channeling Rodney Dangerfield tonight.

Hadrienne_C. chuckles and sips his coffee

Cosira rolls her eyes and sighs. "Incorrigable. I don't know how Feather stands it."

[Pratz] "She doesn't. Usually she lies down for it."

Cosira shoots Pratz a look. "How boring for her. You should experiment more."

[Pratz] "Oh yeah? How about you giving me a private lesson?" He leers and waggles his eyebrows.

Cosira 's grin gets a dangerous, feral edge to it. "I don't think you'd like that. Too many possible scars for you to explain later."

Pratz snickers. "Lemme tell ya, Feather's got SHARP fingernails, and she ends up using them every time we get involved."

Hadrienne_C. grins and chuckles at Cosi

Cosira nods and says sensibly. "Sure, but she'd know which cuts were hers and which weren't. You want that kind of trouble?"

Linda wonders how sharp? Are we talking cut-thine-throat-with-ease sharp?

Cosira winks at Hadrienne.

[Pratz] "I'd tell her somebody threw me into a briar patch."

Cosira 's nails can get that sharp, though it's more of a gouge-thine-torso-with-ease sort of thing. She doesn't do detail work as she lacks the patience.

Cosira makes a face at Pratz. "liar, liar pants on fire."

Hadrienne_C. laughs...."Sounds like kinda a challenge ta me...."

Pratz just laughs. "I'm constantly horny. What can I say?"

Cosira shoots a look at Hadrienne. "Nah...it's just Pratz. To know him is to love him." She smiles.

Cosira grins at Pratz. "So what else is new?"

Hadrienne_C. grins and finishes his coffee

Cosira get momentarily distracted and then says to Pratz and Hadrienne. "What were we talking about?"

[Pratz] "Umm... Had and I were talking about how much you wanted us and were ready to throw your body at us, one of us, at least, and make sweet luv to us all night long, weren't we Had?"

Cosira snorts at Pratz. "You have the most facile imagination."

[Cosira] To be brutally frank, neither of you could probably stand it. I'd most likely kill you by accident.

Hadrienne_C. exits from this room

Pratz thinks Had ran off in terror.

Hadrienne_C. enters this room

[Pratz] "Yeah. And you didn't kill me, Feather would."

Hadrienne_C. got booted and had ta get back:)

Cosira sighs at Pratz. "Sanity at last."

[Hadrienne_C.] I don't think so....might be fun findin out though.*G*

Cosira knows Had. She can see the footprint on your ass.

[Hadrienne_C.] I don't have anyone ta answer to anyways.

Pratz : snickers at Had. "Hey, tell us poor married folks what it's like afterwards, ok?"

Cosira looks around and sees Romy, she beckons him over.

Romy picks up his bag and walks over to Cosira.

Cosira sniffs the air around Romy and mrrrs at him.

Romy mrrrs back..

Hadrienne_C. laughs...."I don't think she's gonna take it up Pratz..."

Cosira raises a finger as if to say to Pratz and Had, 'one minute please'.

[Hadrienne_C.] I gotta go anyways....have some things ta take care of....see ya'll later.*smiles and gets up to leave*

Cosira says to Had and Pratz. "This gentleman here is as I am." She says to Romy. "How strong are you?"

Cosira nods and waves bye to Had. "See you."

[Pratz] "Seeya Had."

Romy blinks a bit.."I'm fairly strong.."

Hadrienne_C. waves as he walks out, with a slight grin

Hadrienne_C. exits from this room

Cosira shakes her head as if that's not what she's looking for. She looks at Pratz. "I could lift a warhorse over my head without breaking a sweat."

Romy looks a bit confused..

Pratz grins. "I can lift a triple decker cheeseburger over my head without breaking a sweat. Considering our respective appetites, it's the same thing."

Cosira looks at Romy and explains. "He was talking about having sex, and I'm trying to explain to him that sex with a shifter is dangerous to non-shifters. In the true release that comes from good sex, I'd be liable to crush his bones or tear him up." she shrugs. "One of the hazards."

Romy nods.."That's very true.."

Cosira snickers at Pratz. "You saying I'm fat?" she jokes.

[Pratz] "Noooo... I'm saying you're... quite well roundind, in all areas."

Cosira shoots her finter at Pratz like a gun. "Bingo."

Pratz nods. "Well, all right. That, I can understand."

Cosira looks a bit solemn. "It's true you know, I knew a werewolf who had a human girlfriend. He accidentally crushed her pelvis..."

Romy nods in agreement with Cosira..

Pratz nods. "And you can forget about getting any anal action. You'd end up lopping one's dingle straight off his body when you contracted. There'd be a bloody stump."

Cosira makes a face at Pratz. "Ew...I do not want to know about what you think is fun in bed if that's any example."

Pratz laughs. "No... what I think is fun is pleasing my partner. I don't mind what I do, I'm gonna enjoy myself anyway. If my girl gets off though, that's where the fun comes in."

Lord_Cat sorta stands their, expecting to be shown toward the general direction of buffet tables.

Cosira blinks at Lord_Cat. Buffet tables? There are Buffet tables? Where?

Lord_Cat wonders how cosira read my mind.."the buffet tables..surely there is food, no?

Cosira shrugs at Lord_Cat. "Yes. In the fridge behind the bar. There is more in the kitchens in the back, but it is strictly serve and cook yourself. By the by, be careful if you excavate in the fridge. Some of the stuff in there has rotted to a lethal level.

Pratz nods at everyone, and points to the kitchen. "The cooks are on duty 24/7, and they'll fix anything you want. Just tell them."

[Linda] "be warned, though - some of the stuff hasn't rotted, it was already at lethal level. Like the Keep coffee."

Lord_Cat runs ito the kithchen, bashing doors and and things, eventually coming out with a two foot sanwitch..,.not in length, either..

[Lord_Cat] sabndwitch*

Cosira laughs hysterically as Linda's comment is a mirror of her own. Almost word for word.

Linda 's post was meant to be, Cos. It was reiterating, and warning about the coffee.

Cosira ohs at Linda. She thought it was a spontaineous brain-sharing. *g*

Pratz hates the insert key.

Cosira pats Pratz on the shoulder. Mean old insert key.

Lorraine shoots Cosira with a minolta 35 mm "Work it baby work it!"

Cosira poses and pouts at the camera.

Lorraine is totally confused and keeps shooting Cosira with the minolta 35mm

Cosira has posed so much she's run out of ideas and, No Pratz, she's not going to strip. *lol*

Pratz 'll strip if Cosie'll strip.

Cosira has no doubt of that Pratz. How's about you strip first and she'll consider it? *eg*

Akordia sees Pratz's threat... and will kill Cosira if she strips.

Pratz strips.

Cosira isn't going to 'Kordy. Honest.

Lorraine promies to ki|| Cosira if she strips and makes Pratz strip, her stomch is upset enough!!

SomeLoser starts handing out the barf bags.

Cosira points Lorraine and her camera in Pratz's direction while she covers her eyes.

Pratz poses.

Lorraine passes the camera to SL as he goes around, not being able to look at Pratz as she's now puking up her innards for the 10th time today!!

RyanMR puts up some very small censored signs.

SomeLoser strikes a pose.

SomeLoser uses the leather camera strap on Pratz. Hard.

Akordia 's TextActress™ gives the struck pose first aid...

[Pratz] <falsetto> Oh you know I just love it when you use the leather, SL. </falsetto>

Cosira grins at Pratz and starts humming The Masochism Tango.

[Pratz] "Is there a draft in here or is it just me?"

SomeLoser gets Alastra's post-clippers and whittles Cosira's post to: 'I just love turning people on.'

[Cosira] There is definitely a daft in here and it is you.

SomeLoser points at the bar. "We have Draft, Light, and a selection of wines."

Pratz collects his clothes.

Pratz dreses again and sits back down besides Cosira.

Cosira pats Pratz on the back. "Feel better?"

Cosira changes colors as she's sick of yellow.

Pratz puts one hand down his pants and feels around for a minute, then pulls it out. "Yeah, I feel pretty good, Cossie."

[SomeLoser] Took ya long enough to find it, Pratz.

Cosira hopes fervently that by 'it' Pratz meant his hand he pulled out of his pants.

Valmont enters this room

Pratz notes it's 7:30AM where he's at, and he woke up at about... ... ... shit, he doesn't even remember going to sleep yesterday. It's time for him to vanish into the night, and go boff his wife offscreen.

Cosira notes that she must depart into RL now, as her dog needs to be walked and all other manner of chores await her. *ug*. Ciao.

SomeLoser is going offline now as well.

Valmont OOC sniffs his armpits, just in case his presence has caused this sudden exodus