Top-N Reasons to jump out of a perfectly good airplane (drumroll, please...) 1. Actually safer than flying on Delta. Submitted: Tec42(Tec42@geocities.com) 2. You're afraid of heights and you want to get down right NOW. Submitted: Tec42(Tec42@geocities.com) 3. Small yellow sign in back window: Mad Farter On Board Submitted: Tec42(Tec42@geocities.com) 4. The guy in the seat next to you turns and says "Do you want to see something _really_ scary?" as you notice a small demon jumping around on the wing. Submitted: Tec42(Tec42@geocities.com) 5. You haven't learned how to land the thing yet. Submitted: Tec42(Tec42@geocities.com) 6. You and your sanity seem to have departed ways a few years ago. Submitted: Tec42(Tec42@geocities.com) 7. Because you have the high-tech equivalent of a bedsheet strapped to your back, and an insane trust in the person who put it there. Submitted: Tec42(Tec42@geocities.com) 8. I still don't know. Worse yet, I'm paying someone to let me do it. Submitted: Tec42(Tec42@geocities.com) 9. Someone's got a death wish...... Submitted: KiddK & RadonMan 10. Have a nice trip! See ya next FALL!!! HA!! Submitted: KiddK & RadonMan 11. Given the option of jumping or getting shot, you jump figuring there's a slim chance you'll survive. Submitted: Sammy the Bull(sammy@gotti.schmotti.DHD) 12. Your a white blond and your seated next to O.J. Simpson. Submitted: Ann M. Randa 13. Your seated next to Hanson,and the litte punks won't stop singing that crap they call music. Submitted: Ashlee 14. You suddenly realize you left the iron on,the front door open,and the heat on,and it's December. Submitted: Ashlee 15. they are serving Spam for lunch. Submitted: syrup 16. the movie is Rocky VI Submitted: syrup 17. the person next to you missed the barf bag Submitted: syrup 18. I guess I am getting a reputation! Submitted: The Mad Farter 19. And I've managed to stay off the ones that have crashed. Submitted: The Mad Farter 20. I once was on an elevator that did a free fall. Boy, did that elevator stink! Submitted: The Mad Farter 21. Just for the thrill of it Submitted: anonymous 22. You suddenly become aware that the ebola virus is so contagious that if one speck of it lands on a hangnail or your eye...you're dead in 24 hours. Submitted: Ground Zero(groundzero@top.ten.com) 23. The guy next to you has the ebola virus and is completely filling his barf bag with his liquified organs. Submitted: Ground Zero(groundzero@top.ten.com) 24. You're reading the book "The Hot Zone" and are reading the part where the guy is in the airplaine has the ebola virus and is completely filling his barf bag with his liquified organs...and the guy next to you coughs. Submitted: Ground Zero(groundzero@top.ten.com) 25. The stewardesses won't let you spank them. Submitted: Dragonlady(@dragon.dominatrix.com) 26. awm is on the plane. Submitted: Dragonlady(@dragon.dominatrix.com) 27. #25: The stewardesses won't let you spank full-stop. Submitted: Dangerman 28. (hey, gotta have some sort of in-flight entertainment...) Submitted: Dangerman 29. (and somewhere to hang your headphones) Submitted: Dangerman 30. You're on a nonstop flight from Thailand to Dallas, and you see the food you'll have to eat for the next 20 hours or so. Submitted: Just Me 31. There are a mother and a small child seated next to you, and the kid has a talking Barney doll Submitted: Just Me 32. because they wouldn't let you jump from the space shuttle Submitted: ChAoS 33. because you think you can reach the wing of another plane. Submitted: ChAoS 34. to excape the gremlins Submitted: ChAoS 35. Their is a heatseeking sidewinder missile on your tail and you can't loose it or shoot it down. Submitted: ChAoS 36. they're showing the paintball list instead of the inflight movie. Submitted: ChAoS 37. Jenny Mc Carthy is sitting next to you and she's had a LITTLE too much crack to inhale. Submitted: Sailor Earth 38. #25 The stewardesses look like Rossane Bar and want you to spank them. Submitted: Sailor Earth 39. #16 Worse yet, Reality Bites. Submitted: Sailor Earth 40. Because you one of those totally incredible natural-body highs the first time you did it. Submitted: Tec42(@Threecheersforendorphins) 41. It's more fun than bowling. Submitted: Tec42(lost@c) 42. You're hanging from the wingstrut of a small airplane, in 70 mile an hour winds, with 4,000 feet of absolutely nothing right below you, and the instructor closes the door of the plane. Submitted: Tec42(i'mgoingagainintwoweeks) 43. you are instructed to do by me and if i tell you to do something you will do it Submitted: kathielee(die faggots) 44. you are all stupid animals Submitted: kathielee(die faggots) 45. my life is dedacated to getting rid of all devient members of the society Submitted: kathielee(die faggots) 46. that includes rednecks ugly stupid people and faggots as well as people who cant keep out of other peoples busuness Submitted: kathielee(die faggots) 47. i will get you this time Submitted: kathielee(die faggots) 48. all who are not on my shit list better stay the hell out of my way or you will get it Submitted: kathielee(die faggots) 49. kathielee is on board. That whiny little BITCH with a cunt wider than the Grand Canyon!!!!! Submitted: Amanda(I'm Back!!!!!!) 50. #48 - And what exactly is "it", anyway? Submitted: Just Me 51. #50: It's gotta be a free trip on those Carnival cruise lines or something. Either that, or a 50 page illustrated guide to the amazing things Cody's done this week. Submitted: Tec42(lost@c) 52. #43-48, "Die faggots"? As in German..."the faggots"? Submitted: Dragonlady(@dragon.dominatrix.com) 53. 50: you little faggot you dont want to know Submitted: kathielee 54. 51: kathielee is my alais not my real name you fuck are you trying to start trouble because if you are i can take care of you too Submitted: kathielee 55. 52: fuck you you illiterate cunt Submitted: kathielee 56. It's already on the ground and you don't have time to wait for the ladder Submitted: Dingo Floyd(@nerdtech) 57. They will be waiting for you at the Portland Airport..... Submitted: D.B.Cooper 58. What? No response from kathielee? It's a miracle!!!!! Submitted: Amanda(I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!) 59. Seeing kathielee doing a striptease act! I would jump too! Submitted: Amanda(I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!) 60. #51 - Maybe a free designer outfit manufactured by children or something. Submitted: Just Me 61. #53 - If it involves one or more of your sexual organs, you're probably right. Submitted: Just Me 62. You may just want to find how easy it is to lane on that church steple. Submitted: Chris Robin 63. The Bomb you planted is about to go off. Submitted: Chris Robin 64. The FBI/CID/MI5 arn't going to follow you. Submitted: Chris Robin 65. #55, Hardly illiterate, just multilingual. Submitted: Dragonlady(@dragon.dominatrix.com) 66. #54, And your real name is?...angrywhitemale? Submitted: Dragonlady(@dragon.dominatrix.com) 67. You see Richard Simmons Submitted: Magus Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 68. The guy next to you is using AOL Submitted: Magus Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 69. Someone yells "Here come the Langolears!" Submitted: Magus Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 70. The Captian is sitting next to you - and your not in the cockpit Submitted: Magus Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 71. Anybody read "Airframe"? Submitted: Magus Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- This list started by Tec42(guess what I'm doing tomorrow) Last updated: Mon 18 Aug 97 01:34:28 Remember to press the RELOAD button to see your submissions! See the ABOUT TOP-N file for more info... Submit an entry for this top-n ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Back to TOP-N index] [Back to my HOME page]