Top-N Good Idea / Bad Idea (drumroll, please...) 1. Housing a computer in Hyperspace / Housing Hyperspace in a computer. Submitted: Lt. Useless 2. Using Balsa wood spaceships in a movie / Using Balsa wood spaceships in a phaser battle. Submitted: Lt. Useless 3. Cutting down a tree for Christmas Day / Cutting down a tree for Arbor Day. Submitted: Lt. Useless 4. Hosting a talk-show / Hosting a parasite. Submitted: Lt. Useless 5. Waving your hand to a perfect stranger / Waving your gun to a perfect stranger. Submitted: Lt. Useless 6. Feeding your friend's cat / Feeding your friends to your cat Submitted: Lt. Useless 7. Watching your neighbor's house while they are on vacation / Selling you neighbors house while they are on vacation Submitted: Lt. Useless 8. Stepping on ants / Stepping on aunts Submitted: Lt. Useless 9. Playing a computer game / Playing a screen-saver Submitted: Lt. Useless 10. Getting a haircut / Getting a hair cut Submitted: Lt. Useless 11. Taking back the streets of your city/Taking the back streets of your city Submitted: Zephyn(zephyn@mail.erols.net) 12. Picking your friends or picking your nose / Picking your friend's noses Submitted: Yorgo 13. Not buying Win95 / Buying Win95 Submitted: Yorgo 14. To get applause / To get the clap Submitted: Yorgo 15. Calling an asshole an officer/calling an officer an asshole Submitted: Mix-n-Match 16. milking a cow for all its worth/milking a person for all they're worth Submitted: Mix-n-Match 17. Transporting mynas over a stately lion for illegal porpoises/transporting minors over a state line for illegal purposes Submitted: Mix-n-Match 18. Chucking up food/upchucking food Submitted: Mix-n-Match 19. Throwing darts while sober/throwing darts while drunk Submitted: Mix-n-Match 20. Re-electing Bill Clinton as President / Electing Pat Buchanan as president Submitted: Timothy Huston, T.N.D.A. 21. Cheddar Cheese/Twat cheese Submitted: ReedMan 22. Having a bottle in front of me.../ Having a Frontal Lobotomy... Submitted: Timm 23. Prick your finger / Finger your prick. Submitted: Snake Plisken 24. With your girlfriend: go to the bay and watch the gulls play / go and play with the girls of Baywatch. Submitted: Snake Plisken 25. Show your girlfriend you have a sensitive side / Let your friends see you showing your sensitive side. Submitted: Snake Plisken 26. Visualize World Peace / Watch the world go to pieces. Submitted: Snake Plisken 27. buying RAM/buying a ram Submitted: Air-dry 28. taking the trash out/taking the trash out for a date Submitted: Air-dry 29. Passing a car to the left/Passing a car through the middle Submitted: ASickMind 30. Passing a truck on the road/Passing a truck though any bodily opening Submitted: ASickMind 31. Making Love to you.../ Making Love to Ewe... Submitted: Cowboy 32. Giving your friend some Alka-seltzer for indigestion/giving your gerbil some Alka-seltzer for indegestion Submitted: Darkson(everywhere and nowhere) 33. using matches to start a fire/using snatches to start a fire Submitted: Darkson(everywhere and nowhere) 34. Doing funny impersonations/doing bad impersonations (fake Eternal?) Submitted: Darkson(everywhere and nowhere) 35. visualize world peace/visualize whirled peas Submitted: Darkson(everywhere and nowhere) 36. playing cowboys and indians when you're 6/playing cowboys and indians when you're 60 Submitted: Darkson(everywhere and nowhere) 37. Watching Star Trek: The Next Generation / Watching a ST:TNG episode with Wesley Crusher in it... Submitted: Beavis(beavis@mtv.com) 38. Watching Beavis and Butt-Head / Imitating Beavis and Butt-Head Submitted: Beavis(beavis@mtv.com) 39. Watch your neighbor's kids when he's not there/Watching your neighbors wife when he's not there Submitted: Mazrolet(NoFriends@200M.P.H.) 40. Feeding stray animals/Feeding stray animals to a bear Submitted: Marc 41. Playing a flute in the marching band/Playing the piano in a marching band Submitted: Marc 42. Trying to have my own Top-N/Never getting my own Top-N Submitted: Libby 43. Making love to Brad Pitt/Brad Pitt making love to Gwyneth Submitted: Libby 44. Sleeping late/Waking up early Submitted: Libby 45. Taking your dog for a walk on the drag/Your dog taking you for a walk in drag. Submitted: that Bob Guy 46. Watching a re-run of the Brady Bunch/Watching a Republican primary debate (ohhh god!!!why do I put myself through that??) Submitted: that Bob Guy 47. Home brewed beer/home made drano Submitted: that Bob Guy 48. Sweet rememberences of that girl from seventh grade/Reminder that she still is in seventh grade and you're 35. Submitted: that Bob Guy 49. Getting some head from Hillary/Re-electing her husband Submitted: newty 50. Hanging out with friends/Hanging out with fiends Submitted: Bullet Bob 51. Hanging out with friends/Hanging your friends Submitted: Bullet Bob 52. From the Dial soap commercial: "Kill the germs, keep the kids" / Kill the kids, keep the germs Submitted: The T.N.D.A. Gang 53. The real thing/Imposters Submitted: The real REAL Eternal(No one can know I'm a fake) 54. Buying a PC/Buying a Mac Submitted: Chip Cosgrove(ccosgrove@ewu.edu) 55. Voting in the FAll/Re-electing The pres. or her husband Submitted: Chip Cosgrove(ccosgrove@ewu.edu) 56. Tides in dirts out /Dirts in Tides out Submitted: Chip Cosgrove(ccosgrove@ewu.edu) 57. playing catch with your friend/playing catch....with your friend Submitted: Gef-Garou(astevens@pacific.telebyte.com) 58. throwing your father a surprise party/throwing your grandfather a surprise party. Submitted: Gef-Garou(astevens@pacific.telebyte.com) 59. Playing billiards with your friends / Playing pocket pool with yourself Submitted: Beavis(beavis@mtv.com) 60. Watching the Tonight Show with Jay Leno / Watching Late Night with David Letterman Submitted: Beavis(beavis@mtv.com) 61. Watching Beavis and Butt-head on MTV / Watching Janet Reno on CNN telling you why you shouldn't watch Beavis and Butt-Head on MTV Submitted: Beavis(beavis@mtv.com) 62. Surfing the net on a Pentium 133 MHz with a full ethernet connection / surfing the net on a 386-sx33 with a 2600 baud modem Submitted: Beavis(beavis@mtv.com) 63. Throw a party / Throw a party out the window Submitted: NeutronStar(iddo@zoot.tau.ac.il) 64. Passing the Polaner All-Fruit / Passing the jelly Submitted: DoctorNurse in Tampa(cnurse@soleil.acomp.usf.edu) 65. Whispering sweet nothings ... / Whispering nothing sweet .... Submitted: Chip Cosgrove(ccosgrove@ewu.edu) 66. Bowling with the guys/balling with the guys Submitted: Kirby 67. Taking a girl out on a date/Taking a date out on a girl Submitted: Chip Cosgrove(ccosgrove@ewu.edu) 68. Firing at will on a range/ Firing at Will on a range Submitted: Chip Cosgrove(ccosgrove@ewu.edu) 69. Saying "I do." / saying "DO I?" Submitted: Chip Cosgrove(ccosgrove@ewu.edu) 70. Listening to Rush Limbaugh / Believing Everything he says Submitted: Chip Cosgrove(ccosgrove@ewu.edu) 71. Me/you Submitted: The Eternal(No one can know) 72. Us/Them Submitted: The REAL Eternal(No one can know) 73. trying to live within one's means.../...succeeding. Submitted: Jim Flint(jflint @inreach.com) 74. telling the boss he is exactly right/believing it Submitted: Jim Flint(jflint @inreach.com) 75. having enough money for a 200 MHZ pentium with ISDN Win95,8xcdrom,19" ni monitor,6 Gig HD.../.. buying all that stuff on credit Submitted: Jim Flint(jflint @inreach.com) 76. reading Top-N lists / adding un-funny drivel like this to them Submitted: Jim Flint(jflint @inreach.com) 77. Road-tripping down to Florida/Taking a 20-hr. bus ride down to Florida Submitted: Mix-n-Match 78. Eating tacos/eating tacos at Taco Bell Submitted: Mix-n-Match 79. Running/Making a run for the bathroom Submitted: Mix-n-Match 80. Keeping an eye out for someone/Taking someone's eye out Submitted: Mix-n-Match 81. living at home/ living at home Submitted: la sexorcisto((who cares if i know?)) 82. slopping the pigs/pigging the slops Submitted: la sexorcisto((who cares if i know?)) 83. oxymorons/moronic oxen Submitted: la sexorcisto((who cares if i know?)) 84. dying young/dying young due to a severe case of leprosy(yum!) Submitted: la sexorcisto((who cares if i know?)) 85. Voting/Voting Republican Submitted: ASickMind ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- This list started by Lt. Useless() ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Back to TOP-N index] [Back to my HOME page]