Top-N "Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be..." (drumroll, please...) 1. country singers Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 2. proctologists Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 3. babies Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 4. Borg Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 5. ...Top-N'rs Submitted: Pandora n'ha Karen(@Darkover) 6. ...parents Submitted: Pandora n'ha Karen(@Darkover) 7. Jerks. Submitted: M. Shadow(midnightshadow@hotmail.com) 8. the people who seem to think that 45 mph is a reasonable speed when the speed limit is 65 mph. Submitted: M. Shadow(midnightshadow@hotmail.com) 9. someone who can't find the power button on a computer then call tech support, then after the tech tells then where the power button is they realize they haven't pluged in the computer yet. Submitted: M. Shadow(midnightshadow@hotmail.com) 10. Cowboys (duh!) Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 11. Pimps Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 12. Grifters Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 13. Angrywhitemales Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 14. Experimental food and drink additives testers Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 15. TransQuest employees Submitted: XTQ 16. WolfMen Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 17. Giant Robots from the Planet "X" Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 18. NeoPlatonists Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 19. Eununchs Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 20. Road Pizza Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 21. Branch Davidians Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 22. Cosmonauts on Mir Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 23. Reporters Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 24. Politicians Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 25. Lawyers Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 26. Blobs Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 27. Obese Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 28. Dead Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 29. Cyclops Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 30. Quadruple Amputees Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 31. Mummies Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 32. Zombies Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 33. Necrophiliacs Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 34. Vampires Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 35. A spice girls groupie Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 36. Mimes Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 37. Unlucky Cartoon Characters Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ROegon) 38. Mad Farters Submitted: The Mad Farter 39. Presidents Submitted: The Mad Farter 40. FBI Agents Submitted: The Mad Farter 41. Shoe salesmen Submitted: The Mad Farter 42. Mir astronauts Submitted: The Mad Farter 43. Insurance agents Submitted: anonymous 44. FDA agents Submitted: anonymous 45. IRS agents Submitted: anonymous 46. Secret agents Submitted: anonymous 47. Free agents Submitted: anonymous 48. Hanson fans Submitted: Figment 49. Days Of Our Lives addicts Submitted: Figment 50. goldfish Submitted: Figment 51. anti-terrorist Submitted: Figment 52. pavorazzi (however the hell you spell it) Submitted: Figment 53. Lame and humourless Submitted: Tec42(heheheh) 54. Parisian Chauffeurs Submitted: anonymous 55. Jehovah's Witnesses Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 56. Mormons Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 57. Serial Killers Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 58. Psychopaths Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 59. Psychiatrists Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 60. Racists Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 61. Homophobes Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 62. Male chauvinists Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 63. Used car dealers Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 64. Mad scientists Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 65. Rap music fans Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 66. Rap 'musicians' Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 67. Fans of professional cricket Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 68. Players of professional cricket Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 69. Conservatives Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 70. Filled with hate and anger Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 71. Irritating Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 72. Boring Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 73. Unfunny Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 74. Immature Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 75. #52: It's paparazzi. Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 76. Aw man, I can't believe I wasted entry #69 on Conservatives.... Submitted: Jinxster(Two weeks and counting...) 77. noisey crickets Submitted: ChAoS 78. pavarotti Submitted: ChAoS 79. free radicals Submitted: ChAoS 80. silicon based lifeform Submitted: ChAoS 81. hosts for parasites Submitted: ChAoS 82. ugly Submitted: the irish avenger(avenger@mit.edu) 83. kathielee (where is she, anyway?) Submitted: the irish avenger(avenger@mit.edu) 84. Crack Whores Submitted: Bytch 85. Preppies Submitted: Sailor Earth 86. jocks Submitted: Sailor Earth 87. wiggers Submitted: Sailor Earth 88. cheerleaders Submitted: Sailor Earth 89. minions of the Negaverse Submitted: Sailor Earth 90. Geen Day Roadies Submitted: Sailor Earth 91. grunge singers Submitted: Sailor Earth 92. Candles. Submitted: Diablo(@Hell) 93. Democrats. Submitted: Diablo(@Hell) 94. Gay! Submitted: Diablo(@Hell) 95. An animal rights activist. Submitted: Diablo(@Hell) 96. Pro-choice. Submitted: Diablo(@Hell) 97. #'s 93-96 isn't that what you want? Submitted: the FALCON 98. semi-colons Submitted: the FALCON 99. exclamation points Submitted: the FALCON 100. tildas Submitted: the FALCON 101. trigonometric functions Submitted: the FALCON 102. bean bags Submitted: the FALCON 103. valentine cards Submitted: the FALCON 104. CHRISTmas wrapping paper Submitted: the FALCON 105. elecric sockets Submitted: the FALCON 106. the letter 'h' Submitted: the FALCON 107. moral Submitted: the FALCON 108. hair brushes Submitted: the FALCON 109. white trash Submitted: the FALCON 110. physically fit Submitted: the FALCON 111. successful Submitted: the FALCON 112. yellow-green Submitted: the FALCON 113. (or green-yellow) Submitted: the FALCON 114. crayons Submitted: the FALCON 115. wristbands Submitted: the FALCON 116. sundials Submitted: the FALCON 117. soap bubbles Submitted: the FALCON 118. finger nail clippers Submitted: the FALCON 119. wrinkled paper Submitted: the FALCON 120. klingons Submitted: the FALCON 121. reading glasses Submitted: the FALCON 122. useful Submitted: the FALCON 123. more than 30 years old Submitted: the FALCON 124. upside down and/or inside out Submitted: the FALCON 125. guitar picks Submitted: the FALCON 126. athletic shoe insoles Submitted: the FALCON 127. televisions without remote controls Submitted: the FALCON 128. popular Submitted: the FALCON 129. richer than you Submitted: the FALCON 130. rainbows Submitted: the FALCON 131. dependent on top-n Submitted: the FALCON 132. toothpaste Submitted: the FALCON 133. organ doners Submitted: the FALCON 134. A falcon. Submitted: Diablo(@Hell) 135. velcro Submitted: the FALCON 136. quilts Submitted: the FALCON 137. FALCON, now you're just getting silly. but When in Rome... Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 138. Windows. Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 139. Clouds Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 140. Elm Trees Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 141. Walnuts Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 142. String Beans Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 143. Shelves Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 144. Geography Books Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 145. Spider Plants Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 146. A roll of Scotch tape Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 147. 3/8" Phillips head screw drivers with yellow plastic handles Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 148. Flashlights Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 149. Forks Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 150. Soup Spoons Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 151. Tweezers Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 152. bookmarks Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 153. Far Side daily calendars Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 154. Beach towels Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 155. Large variable-speed flesh-colored vibrators Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 156. Pennies Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 157. Fence Posts Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 158. Jupiter Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 159. Uranus Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 160. Mercery Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 161. A comet in to Oort Cloud Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 162. Sulphur molecules Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 163. Rugs Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 164. Lava Lamps Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 165. Bicycle pedals. Left Ones. Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 166. Fingernail fungus Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 167. Ham and cheddar cheese sandwiches on Dark Rye. Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 168. Smoke Detectors Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 169. Stop Signs Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 170. Lug Nuts Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 171. Magnifying glasses Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 172. telephone poles Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 173. snowflakes Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 174. 1974 Chevy Impalas Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 175. Vertebra Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 176. Tribbles Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 177. Tin Cans Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 178. Erasers Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 179. coffee mugs Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 180. duodecahedrons Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 181. Platonic Forms Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 182. Slabs of concrete Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 183. dust bunnies Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 184. Sandals Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 185. Puce Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 186. Chartruese Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 187. carrots Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 188. chunks of bleu cheese Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 189. bananas Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 190. sea shells Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 191. office buildings Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 192. thumbtacks Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 193. staples Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 194. continents Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 195. Hillsdalers Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 196. earlobes Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 197. boulders Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 198. Pauli Shore Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 199. apples Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 200. buttons Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 201. corks Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 202. dizzy Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 203. egg cartons Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 204. French Toast Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 205. grain towers Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 206. hankerchiefs Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 207. ink blots Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 208. Joe Camel Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 209. Kippers Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 210. Lederhosen Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 211. mushrooms Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 212. nintheenth century wardrobes Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 213. olives Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 214. pancakes Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 215. quarks Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 216. roofing tar Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 217. socks Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 218. tired Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 219. umbrellas Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 220. Vanadium Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 221. Wall paper Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 222. "X-files" topics Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 223. Yodelers Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 224. Zinc deposits in SouthWestern Kansas Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 225. Hey, FALCON and ReedMan, can we maybe restrict this to things that babies could actually theoretically grow up to become? For example... Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 226. apathetic Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 227. bungling idiots Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 228. #84: Or this year's new worst job, Crack Whores in Training Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 229. damn yankees Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 230. Elvis impersonators Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 231. Funkengruven Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 232. G.O.P. members Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 233. hillbillies Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 234. Ibsenesque Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 235. Latinists Submitted: TiGar 236. Hellenists Submitted: TiGar 237. Microsoft Mice Submitted: TiGar 238. Jack Daniels Submitted: TiGar 239. Jim Beam Submitted: TiGar 240. Dual platform machines Submitted: TiGar 241. Pitmeisters Submitted: TiGar 242. Frames-capable browsers Submitted: TiGar 243. People who interrupt other people's lists to enter more things that babies can't possibly grow up to become, regardless of how negligent their mothers might be!!! Submitted: Dingo Floyd(growling@TiGar) 244. whiners. there was that better? Submitted: the FALCON(what did you say? waaaaaaah?) 245. legalists Submitted: the FALCON(what did you say? waaaaaaah?) 246. #243: 3 of my entries ARE legitmate things that babies could grow up to become. So THERE! Submitted: TiGar(growling right back@Dingo Floyd) 247. Dingo Floyds Submitted: TiGar(growling right back@Dingo Floyd) 248. Brokers Submitted: Bozo the Clown(tent@ring.ling.bros.com) 249. Frat boys Submitted: Bozo the Clown(tent@ring.ling.bros.com) 250. Commies Submitted: Bozo the Clown(tent@ring.ling.bros.com) 251. French Submitted: Bozo the Clown(tent@ring.ling.bros.com) 252. Humans. Submitted: Diablo(@Hell) 253. cardboard Submitted: the FALCON 254. video game charachters Submitted: the FALCON 255. hair styles Submitted: the FALCON 256. clotted blood Submitted: the FALCON 257. stinky band-aids Submitted: the FALCON 258. arrows pointing diagonally down and to the left Submitted: the FALCON 259. scotch tape Submitted: the FALCON 260. plaid Submitted: the FALCON 261. quantum singularities Submitted: the FALCON 262. huge, ugly belt buckles Submitted: the FALCON 263. gravel Submitted: the FALCON 264. philips screwdrivers Submitted: the FALCON 265. confederate presidents Submitted: the FALCON 266. tapestries Submitted: the FALCON 267. freckles Submitted: the FALCON 268. dental floss Submitted: the FALCON 269. ironing boards Submitted: the FALCON 270. professional monopoly players Submitted: the FALCON 271. wwf or wcw wrestlers Submitted: the FALCON 272. the outfits that wrestlers wear Submitted: the FALCON 273. empty doritos bags Submitted: the FALCON 274. very small rocks Submitted: the FALCON 275. CHURCHES, CHURCHES!! Submitted: the FALCON 276. tortillas Submitted: the FALCON 277. country clubs Submitted: the FALCON 278. question marks Submitted: the FALCON 279. saga-steve Submitted: the FALCON 280. floor tiles Submitted: the FALCON 281. laundry detergent Submitted: the FALCON 282. paperback books Submitted: the FALCON 283. fascist dictators Submitted: the FALCON 284. 28% Submitted: the FALCON 285. you can now enter up to FIVE entries at once (this saves time for you and resources for the computer) Submitted: the FALCON 286. small print Submitted: the FALCON 287. more machine now than man, twisted and evil Submitted: the FALCON 288. far sighted Submitted: the FALCON 289. normal Submitted: the FALCON 290. nermal Submitted: the FALCON 291. damn dirty apes!! Submitted: the FALCON 292. television reruns Submitted: the FALCON 293. jockeys Submitted: the FALCON 294. tranquil Submitted: the FALCON 295. american citizens Submitted: the FALCON 296. tangerines Submitted: the FALCON 297. vra vra vra vrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom Submitted: the FALCON 298. kaleidescopes Submitted: the FALCON 299. palatable Submitted: the FALCON 300. blunt instruments Submitted: the FALCON 301. #1- #300 - Well, that about covers everything. Submitted: Just Me 302. adult sized babies Submitted: ChAoS 303. protoplasmic ooze Submitted: ChAoS 304. mutant freaks Submitted: ChAoS 305. trilobytes Submitted: ChAoS 306. ChAoS Submitted: ChAoS 307. Alien Grfvnbvoergfrehldaqw3q Submitted: ChAoS 308. Chilren of the damned Submitted: ChAoS 309. Children of the corn Submitted: ChAoS 310. Children of the atom Submitted: ChAoS 311. Narwhal Submitted: ChAoS 312. Ptarmigan Submitted: ChAoS 313. Walleye Submitted: ChAoS 314. Pika Submitted: ChAoS 315. Pangolin Submitted: ChAoS 316. The answer to life, the universe, and everything. Submitted: ChAoS 317. Mostly Harmless Submitted: ChAoS 318. Heads frozen in jars waiting to revived in the year 2000. Submitted: ChAoS 319. #316. Did I just say don't let them grow up to be 42? Submitted: anonymous 320. Boy Cows Submitted: ChAoS 321. Awake long enough to be silly enough to read 320 entries to a top ten list, Submitted: Going on 3 days myself... 322. Cowboys... chipmunks... Alvin Submitted: Going on 3 days myself... 323. Lawyers... there are more than enough of those. Submitted: Going on 3 days myself... 324. Desparate actors in cheesy "80's Rock" commercials. Submitted: Going on 3 days myself... 325. Collectors of "kitchen ducks". Submitted: Going on 3 days myself... 326. QVC salespeople Submitted: bubbaSmith(shineon@midcoast.com) 327. Stephen King wanna-be writers Submitted: bubbaSmith(shineon@midcoast.com) 328. Redneck pot growers Submitted: bubbaSmith(shineon@midcoast.com) 329. Teenage coke sluts Submitted: bubbaSmith(shineon@midcoast.com) 330. Contestants on Wheel of Fortune Submitted: bubbaSmith(shineon@midcoast.com) 331. #329: Or worse, octogenerian coke sluts Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 332. schlemiels Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 333. Riders on the Storm Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 334. Mac Daddies Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 335. Spam Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 336. Accountants Submitted: knob(knobby@woody.com) 337. AOL users Submitted: knob(knobby@woody.com) 338. BEEF EATERS!!!!! Submitted: knob(knobby@woody.com) 339. GENERIC Submitted: knob(knobby@woody.com) 340. TV weatherpersons Submitted: knob(knobby@woody.com) 341. Suicide hotline counsellors for cops whose mothers don't talk to them any more. Submitted: oj pal 342. Evidence planters. Submitted: oj pal 343. Thrice married nose-jobbed confused accusing b*tch*s. Submitted: oj pal 344. Haiku hackers. Submitted: oj pal 345. Sight impaired escort for the myopic. Submitted: oj pal 346. Ewoks Submitted: Chuka-Trok & Molly Maid(72634.2271@compuserve.com) 347. truckers Submitted: Chuka-Trok & Molly Maid(72634.2271@compuserve.com) 348. congressmen Submitted: Chuka-Trok & Molly Maid(72634.2271@compuserve.com) 349. tobacco growers Submitted: Chuka-Trok & Molly Maid(72634.2271@compuserve.com) 350. Me. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 351. Red-winged blackbirds. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 352. The letter 'D'. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 353. A Bunsen burner. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 354. The Top-N Index. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 355. Dildo Floyd. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 356. Pink Floyd. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 357. Lloyd Bridges. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 358. A bridge built out of a witch. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 359. A security camera watcher. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 360. A Beanie Baby. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 361. 842 slave gorillas constructing a 1200-foot banana sculpture. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 362. The black hole at the center of the galaxy. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 363. A manatee. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 364. Red October. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 365. The Liberty Bell. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 366. Alexander Graham Bell. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 367. A blank sheet of paper, save for the upper quarter which contains a picture of three apples and a pitchfork. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 368. Heavily guarded prison facilities. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 369. A duck. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 370. A set of bookends, one of which is OK but the other of which is broken into eight pieces no larger than two square inches, and all of which are very sharp. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 371. TiGar. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 372. No, really. One is already too many. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 373. Pocket lint. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 374. Belly button lint. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 375. An immortal super-being the likes of which we've never seen before. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 376. Someone who tried this at home. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 377. A TIE fighter pilot. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 378. A speck on the wing on the fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the middle of the bottom of the sea. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 379. Emperor Tiberius. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 380. K-9. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 381. 23-skidoo. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 382. Catch-22. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 383. James Bond 007. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 384. Mount Everest. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 385. The 5th Element. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 386. The 112th Element. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 387. A half-human, half-Klingon engineer on a starship in the 24th century which is 57,000 light-years from home. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 388. A G..g uh, a G... a G... Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 389. A GRAIL? Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 390. A stream of binary pulses. 101011010100001010100100010010010101010100101010100001001001001101101010111000. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 391. Goliath of Gath. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 392. Gallon of Guinness. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 393. Fluent in Swahili. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 394. A major load. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 395. A Horta. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 396. A used-car salesman. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 397. A used-care salesman. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 398. A Care Bear. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 399. LeVar Burton. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 400. And Entry #400: A Goth. Submitted: Lord Kalhoun I 401. A fucking whitey!! Damn, I hate white people!! Submitted: the Un-Kramer 402. The Leaf Blower Guy™ Submitted: TiGar 403. A brick wall Submitted: TiGar 404. SKA! Submitted: TiGar 405. Amateur pilots Submitted: TiGar 406. PEZ dispensers Submitted: TiGar 407. The Back Plague editor Submitted: TiGar 408. Condom testers Submitted: TiGar 409. Billboards Submitted: TiGar 410. Homepages Submitted: TiGar 411. Ring-necked pheasants Submitted: TiGar 412. Plaid flannel shirts Submitted: TiGar 413. Sesame Street characters Submitted: TiGar 414. 27" televisions Submitted: TiGar 415. Ceiling tiles Submitted: TiGar 416. Chevettes Submitted: TiGar 417. Used textbooks Submitted: TiGar 418. Pirouettes Submitted: TiGar 419. Fiber-optic cables Submitted: TiGar 420. Navy blue wool blazers Submitted: TiGar 421. Claymores Submitted: TiGar 422. Somewhere in Portland, ORegon Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 423. Cybermen Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 424. Daleks Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 425. Silurians Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 426. Time Lords Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 427. A crooked Man Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 428. A crooked house Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 429. a crooked fence Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 430. a crooked cat Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 431. a crooked mouse Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 432. A six fingered man who killed Domingo Montoya's father. Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 433. Peaches Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 434. Pears Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 435. Plums Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 436. Pomegranets Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 437. An algae clogged duck pond Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 438. Canada Geese Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 439. raisins Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 440. pineapples Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 441. Guava Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 442. A chipped and jagged beer stein more suited for being a weapon than drinking out of Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 443. a pencil with the eraser chewed off Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 444. A leaky bic pen, blue. Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 445. Noodles Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 446. A fir tree with the blight Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 447. A giant Anus Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 448. A broken elbow Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 449. male pattern baldness Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 450. Scurvy Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 451. Sickle Cell anemia Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 452. Mary Katherin Gallager Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 453. Nipple Rings Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 454. beefsteak Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 455. An underripe rasberry Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 456. Dandelions Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 457. Dr. Gonads Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 458. Smegma Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 459. Tampons Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 460. Malfunctioning Warp Coils Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 461. Deck 4, Section 2 Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 462. Hard Boiled ostrich eggs Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 463. Bean Bags Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 464. styrofome popcorn Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 465. Pi Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 466. Wesley Crusher Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 467. Klingon Forehead Ridges Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 468. Bajoran Nose Ridges Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 469. Cardassian Neck Ridges Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 470. Crater Lake Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 471. A mangy wolf in southwest Yellowstone park Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 472. Wallabies Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 473. Dead hares Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 474. Ear Wax Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 475. Cell Membrane G-protiens Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 476. Cardiac Cell nuclei Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 477. Red Blood Cell Nuclei Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 478. Germs Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 479. Antiperspirant Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 480. Floors Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 481. Ceiling Fans Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 482. The Kitchen Sink Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 483. Shower knobs Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 484. Shower curtains Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 485. stairs Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 486. A metal stepladder with the third step rusted clean through Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 487. Office chairs with squeaky wheels Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 488. the F1 key Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 489. A Harvey Wallbanger Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 490. The left front pocket of a pair of tan casual slacks with oatmeal stains on the left lower pantleg and a frog in the other pocket Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 491. Chili Dogs Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 492. Life the universe and everything Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 493. Marvin the depressed Robot Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 494. Zafod Beeblebrox Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 495. Collared Greens Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 496. Invisible Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 497. Q-tips Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 498. Hair Curlers Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 499. Combs Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 500. Address booklets Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 501. Dodge Neons Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 502. BACKH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Submitted: Klingon Barf® 503. Winnie-the-Poohs Submitted: TiGar 504. Procrastinators Submitted: TiGar 505. Dr Martens Submitted: TiGar 506. Hangnails Submitted: TiGar 507. Sex fiends Submitted: TiGar 508. Glowing green lights Submitted: TiGar 509. Courtney Love Submitted: TiGar 510. Headphones Submitted: TiGar 511. G-strings Submitted: TiGar 512. A land war in Asia Submitted: TiGar 513. Cornholio Submitted: Alien Terrorist Edgar 514. Cleveland Submitted: Alien Terrorist Edgar 515. A Torpedo Submitted: Alien Terrorist Edgar 516. Nicaragua Submitted: Alien Terrorist Edgar 517. Beef Submitted: Alien Terrorist Edgar 518. Jinxster. Submitted: Reedamn(THomewhEre in Prtolan,d Ogreon) 519. #432. Prepare to die. Submitted: anonymous 520. #583-Kalhoun, was that intended as a snide comment about witches? You realize that if that I was, I will turn you into a lawn ornament, thank you very much. Submitted: MoonSong(schneidr@ursuline.pvt.k12.ny.us) 521. People that can't count (MoonSong, you do realize this list has only 521 entries, right? Or did you have a premonition that Kalhoun is going to make a snide comment about witches 62 entries from now?) Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 522. #520, It was a Monty Python reference! Does "She turned me into a newt!" ring a bell? Submitted: Dragonlady(@Rats.com) 523. Bedbugs. Submitted: Arrowhead 524. "Weird Al" Yankovic imitators. Submitted: Arrowhead 525. Knights who say, "NEE!" Submitted: Arrowhead 526. Those little brown chocolate sprinkles that look like mouse feces. Submitted: Arrowhead 527. President Greg Stillwell. Submitted: Arrowhead 528. Rusty the Rooster. Submitted: Arrowhead 529. Friendly Giants. Submitted: Arrowhead 530. Jerome the Giraffe. Submitted: Arrowhead 531. Kittens who play flutes. Submitted: Arrowhead 532. 3/4 inch gypsum wallboard. Submitted: Arrowhead 533. DUMB ASS MOTHER FUCKERS WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MY NAME LIKE EVERYONE AT TOP-N, IT'S WITH ALL CAPITAL LETTERS OUT OF RESPECT FOR ME! Submitted: THE MASTER 534. Cucumbers Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 535. Dried Figs Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 536. Training Bras Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 537. Danny DeVito's soiled underwear Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 538. a duodenum Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, Oregon) 539. the master Submitted: Jean-Pierre 540. or not to be, that is the question. Submitted: ChAoS 541. nothing more to say here, just don't let them grow up to be. Submitted: ChAoS 542. #539 Hey SHIT-FOR-BRAINS, look at #533 Submitted: THE MASTER© 543. People who scream "I AM THE master!! YOU MUST HAVE RESPECT FOR THE MAstEr! YOU MUST SPELL mASter WITH ALL CAPITALS!" Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ORegon) 544. Someone who, like the MasteR, screams about respect when he deserves none. Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ORegon) 545. Shit-for-brained Dr. Gonads wannabes, like the MastER. Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ORegon) 546. #542: Yeah, I read it. So? Submitted: Jean-Pierre 547. Technomancers (Althou Virtual Adepts are cool) Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 548. Midgets Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 549. Flys Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 550. President Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 551. Near Micheal Jackson Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 552. Near O.J Simpson Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 553. Like Lyle and Erik Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 554. Programmers Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 555. Judge Dredd Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 556. Cannon Fodder Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 557. Fans of Professional Chess Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 558. Fans of Pocket Protectors Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 559. Members of the Clan Mc'Nerdo Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 560. AOLers Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 561. Bill Gates Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 562. Dead Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 563. Mythical Creatures Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 564. Aliens Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 565. A Fingerprint Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 566. A slime mould Submitted: Mage Orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 567. Untrained leroni. Submitted: Pandora n'ha Karen(@Darkover) 568. Dry Towners. Submitted: Pandora n'ha Karen(@Darkover) 569. #543-#546 I am THE ONE AND ONLY MASTER, I derserve your respect for I am IMMORTAL, and I am not a Dr. Gonads wannabe, I don't even know who the FUCK he is! Submitted: THE ONE AND ONLY MASTER(lesleyfg@erols.com) 570. #569 - Oh, grow up. Submitted: knob(sick@the.prospect.that.this.stupidity.will.not.end) 571. What MasteR? You deserve respect because you are immoral? Submitted: ReedMan(Somewhere in Portland, ORegon) 572. Soylent Green Submitted: Cluesioux 573. Soylent Yellow Submitted: Cluesioux 574. Fark Muhrmann Submitted: Cluesioux 575. REEDMAN Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 576. DANGERMAN Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 577. DRAGONLADY Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 578. BYTCH Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 579. THE MASTER Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 580. REEDMAN Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 581. DANGERMAN Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 582. DRAGONLADY Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 583. BYTCH Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 584. THE MASTER Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 585. DINGO FLOYD Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 586. JINXSTER Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 587. THE SHOWMAN Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 588. JEAN-PIERRE Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 589. KATHIELEE Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 590. TIGAR Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 591. PSYCH 101 Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 592. MOONSONG Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 593. MOT P Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 594. TEC42 Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 595. MIKE Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 596. JUST ME Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 597. MIKE Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 598. JUST ME Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 599. ANGRYWHITEMALE Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 600. SCUMMONKEY Submitted: ANONYMOUS IN CAPITALS(BITE ME, LOSERS) 601. Republicans Submitted: Avi Horowitz, The New Democratic Alliance 602. conservatives Submitted: Avi Horowitz, The New Democratic Alliance 603. Ku Klux Klansmen Submitted: Avi Horowitz, The New Democratic Alliance 604. militia members Submitted: Avi Horowitz, The New Democratic Alliance 605. 596, 598: Your right, who'd want their kids to be just like you? Submitted: Avi Horowitz, The New Democratic Alliance 606. Hey, that albino bitch kathielee is back. And she's in CAPS! Submitted: Jean-Pierre 607. #606: You know, you'd think she'd make it less obvious. She only wrote in lower case, so of course we'd never suspect this new asshole who writes in allcaps could be her. You'd think she'd have more intelligence, but then this is kathielee we're talking about... Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 608. Also, it's probably a lot easier for her than trying to figure out which words are capitalized and which aren't. Takes too much brainpower. Her spelling seems pretty good, though. Maybe she's looking words up in a dictionary. Submitted: Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) 609. #608 - Sure beats looking up words in a thesaurus Submitted: mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 610. A word assosiation test Submitted: mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 611. A test-tube Submitted: mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 612. A television tube Submitted: mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 613. A television show Submitted: mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 614. A show-off Submitted: mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 615. A off-switch Submitted: mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 616. A gender-switch Submitted: mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 617. Engendering Submitted: mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 618. Endagered Submitted: mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 619. A tetrahedron Submitted: mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 620. An Octohedron Submitted: mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 621. A Hooly Submitted: mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 622. A super intelligent shade of the color blue Submitted: mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) 623. An Electronic Thumb Submitted: mage orion(orionrh@hotmail.com) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- This list started by Dingo Floyd(donttrythis@home) Last updated: Tue 16 Sep 97 20:23:49 Remember to press the RELOAD button to see your submissions! 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