I am Dr. Gonads * 1. It's my semen on Monica's Dress. Dr Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 2. And it isn't Monica's dress, it's mine. Dr Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 3. I killed Vince Foster. Dr Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 4. I whacked Janet Reno with the Ugly stick Dr Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 5. I put the bomp in the bomp she bop she bomp Dr Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 6. I put the Ram in the Rama lama ding dong Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 7. I brought the Spice girls together Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 8. I inspired the Hansons Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 9. I killed John Lennon and Jerry Garcia Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 10. I replaced your dank chronic with mexiweed Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 11. I invented disco. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 12. I was the second gunman Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 13. I like to step on cats' tails Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 14. I write devastating computer viruses as a hobby. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 15. I subscribe to Penthouse and Hustler and send them to Minister's houses. Strangely they dont seem to mind. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 16. I'm actually Janet Reno Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 17. I peed in the pool in atlanta Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 18. In my spare time I like to inject unsuspecting people with AIDS tainted blood Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 19. I once ran a steamroller over a baby rhinocerous Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 20. You've heard of bassomatic? Well how about puppyomatic? Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 21. I like to abuse philodendrons and palm trees. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 22. I'm the one peeing on your roses Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 23. I harbor secret desires to shave Bill Clinton's head. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 24. If it aint eggs, it aint breakfast Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 25. I find Dan Rather arousing Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 26. Yarn confuses me Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 27. I often fling pancakes out of 34th story windows Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 28. I invented Ebonics Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 29. I lust after socks Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 30. Have you driven a ford lately? Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 31. I like to give octogenarians enemas. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 32. Never give oral sex to a woman first thing in the morning. Why not? Have you ever opened a warm grilled cheese sandwhich? Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 33. Dont sniff glue, you'll end up like me Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 34. I like to put worms on spaghetti and see if people notice Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 35. I once put itching powder in the ventilation system of the pentagon Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 36. I dont want Taco Bell Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 37. I record dentist drills then play them softly to sleeping people to give them nightmares. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 38. Beef. It's what's for dinner. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 39. I am the driving force behind Strom Thurmond Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 40. Rush Limbaugh got most of his ideas from me Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 41. I go to taco bell and eat chihuahuas wrapped in tortilla bread. ChAoS -- * 42. Heaven doesn't want me, hell's afraid I'd take over. ChAoS -- * 43. I cancelled Dr. Who. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 44. I considered "The Golden Girls" to be arousing porn Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 45. I fart without shame Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 46. I like to puke on babies Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 47. It's times like these that I wish I were a lesbian monkey Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 48. I had a terrible mole growing on my back, it was a star nosed mole. ChAoS -- * 49. #6. Did the Rama Lama like that? ChAoS -- * 50. I crawl out on to the battlefield and remove screws and nuts from the tanks and pull all the pins out of the grenades. ChAoS -- * 51. I am a major cause of water pollution. ChAoS -- * 52. I caused the extinction of the albertasaurus. ChAoS -- * 53. I am superior to everyone on earth, including Bill Gates Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 54. I am God Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 55. I am rich beyond your wildest wet dreams, but I spend it all on putting senators, mayors and city councilors under my belt Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 56. I am The Man. I head the global conspiracy to erase the past and found a new empire bent upon worshipping me. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 57. My knees have superhuman powers Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 58. I hunt spotted owl. ChAoS -- * 59. I gave up clubbing baby seals, clubbing babies is far more entertaining. ChAoS -- * 60. I am not a Reedman personality anymore because I strangled Rigel in his sleep. ChAoS -- * 61. I enjoy simultaneous postings Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- Oh yes! Do it again ChAos! Oy vey! * 62. I know you are but what am I? -- * 63. A kill with power augres. -- * 64. I like doing acupuncture wrong. I do it to cause the most pain. -- * 65. I was in an insane asylum. No I wasn't committed, I went their to find a croud where I can fit in. ChAoS -- * 66. Rigel never actually existed, he was a figment of the multiverse imaginarium. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 67. I take a hammer and make all the potholes in the world Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 68. I killed innocence. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 69. I am the sole cause of bad karma Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 70. If I ever captured a UFO I would use it to destroy Luxembourg Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 71. I was a serial killers groupie. ChAoS -- * 72. I go to prisons and watch the executions. I film them too and sell the film to the highest bidders. ChAoS -- * 73. GENERIC TOP-N/X USER is actually a representation of the faceless minions that will destroy the earth upon armageddon. He is meant to desensitize you. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 74. GENERIC WITTY ENTRY GENERIC TOP-X USER -- * 75. I am considered an outlaw in all 49 states. Watch out Nebraska, you're next. -- * 76. My blood alcohol count is so high mosquitos get drunk off of my blood! -- * 77. I am the fourth horseman of the apocalypse. I killed that wimpy famine and took his job! ChAoS -- * 78. Locusts live in my hair and rats crawl through my clothes. Wherever I go plague follows. ChAoS -- * 79. I was a teenage werewolf. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 80. I like to peel back the skin on people's heads and use their skulls as percussion instruments. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 81. I own many CFC emitting appliances and run them constantly. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 82. I charge my electric bill to poor schmucks. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 83. Dynamite fits very nicely into tailpipes Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 84. I go to zoos and remove segments of tusk, horn, and claw and use them to enhance my virility. ChAoS -- * 85. I don't throw snowballs, I throw uranium balls. Critical geometry and BOOM! ChAoS -- * 86. I placed strychnine in the cities drinking water. ChAoS -- * 87. Rome fell due to me! ChAoS -- * 88. This isn't a confession, it's a chance to brag. ChAoS -- * 89. The FDA is under my thumb. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 90. I cause impotence and have all royalties on viagra. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 91. I like to beat up Amish folks. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 92. Small children make excellent anchors Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 93. I release termites into old wooden homes Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 94. At night when your asleep, I sneek into your house, inject you with seditive, and remove your organs to sell them on the black market. -- * 95. I hate giving blood and love taking it. -- * 96. I like giving new agers aural sex. -- * 97. I throw bunnies into chipper shredders. -- * 98. I give rabbits to cosmetic companies for testing because I like bunnies in make up. -- * 99. When Caesar said "Et tu Brutus" I said "Gersunteit" and stabbed him in the eye. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 100. I put lead in Van Gogh's drinking water and drove him insane. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 101. I am an avenging fury of the apocalypse Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 102. I am actually hitler Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 103. Got Milk? Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 104. I am the lizard king, I can do anything. ChAoS -- * 105. I'd say Dr. Gonads is bored... DragonLady -- I'm glad I'm not Dr. Gonads * 106. Because of me the next hurricane will be named Hurricane Gonads. ChAoS -- * 107. I have a necklace and Jinxsters teeth hang from it. Are they buck? Only I know and I'm not telling anyone. ChAoS -- * 108. I'm going to nibble dragonlady. Mmmmm. -- * 109. I take people organs but I dont inject sedatives, I like to hear them scream. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 110. I told the Jews before Judas and then I stole his money. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 111. I tickled His feet with a feather while he was on the cross. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 112. I gave FDR polio Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 113. I started WW1 Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 114. #108, Thats DragonLord's job. DragonLady -- @dragon.dominatrix.com * 115. Job? I dont see any paychecks! I'd say it was more of a hobby. DragonLord -- @dragons.den * 116. #115, Ahem...DragonLord is the one who's supposed to be paying... DragonLady -- DragonLord, if its really you--send me an e-mail. I didn't think you had net access at the moment. * 117. i suck myself Krista -- krista@is.cool * 118. I find #32 horribly disgusting. DoctorNurse (no relation to Dr. Gonads) in Tampa -- eww.gross@soleil.acomp.usf.edu * 119. That's the point. ReedMan -- * 120. Did you hit KC with the same Ugly stick???????? Heeeeheeee! Kristin's Ass -- where her brains are * 121. I am NOT Dr. Ganads. Kristin's Ass -- where her brains are * 122. Neither am I. Kristin's Ass -- where her brains are * 123. Does your Aunt wear a pointy hat and bellbottoms?? Kristin's Ass -- where her brains are * 124. #118- That's YOUR problem, then, isn't it? Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 125. #123- Yes she does, and they're leather bell-bottoms. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 126. I am the Second Coming. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 127. I run down small children and toy poodles with my eighteen-wheeler for sport. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 128. I make Saddam Hussein look like Jesus Christ. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 129. Luke, I am your father. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 130. I boinked Hillary Clinton...and I enjoyed every minute of it. She, on the other hand... Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 131. I raped your mother and I'm on my way to your nana's place right now. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 132. I took a dump on the White House lawn. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 133. I beat my mother with a garden hose. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 134. I was chasing Princess Diana's limo on my motorcycle on that fateful night. Who knows? I might've even been the one who caused the accident. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 135. I am the son of Satan and a Carmelite Nun. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 136. Dragonlady is my illegitimate daughter. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 137. I am the REAL Unabomber. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- * 138. #124-137 Good gravy! I'm being impostored! The REAL Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- Of all the impudent things...Me impostored. ME!! Unfreakinbelievable! * 139. Now listen here, you ass munch! Dont you impostor me or I will annoy you in ways you cannot mention in polite company! The REAL Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- Of all the impudent things...Me impostored. ME!! Unfreakinbelievable! * 140. What a maroon. The REAL Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- Of all the impudent things...Me impostored. ME!! Unfreakinbelievable! * 141. #138- All right, you. I assume this list *was* started by an impostor, since I know I didn't start it. I, my friend, am the real Dr. Gonads. I don't know *who* you are, nor do I particularly care. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The One And Only * 142. How DARE you accuse me of being a phony!...Now, where was I...? Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The One And Only * 143. Oh, yeah...Holy Water makes my skin melt. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The One And Only * 144. I would like Janet Reno to put on her sombrero and beat me like a pinata! Ole! Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The One And Only * 145. I wish I were Monica Lewinsky. This fact is not all too surprising when you take into consideration the burning desire I harbor to play the President's big pink clarinet. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The One And Only * 146. I bought Mama Cass lunch one day...I believe it was a ham sandwich. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The One And Only! * 147. I sold the acid to Diane Linkletter. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The One And Only! * 148. I was the guy on the Watergate tapes. Nixon didn't do anything. I just happen to do a really good impression. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The One And Only! * 149. I am not a crook. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The One And Only! * 150. #17. OH YEAH! Well I'm the SURREAL UNIBOMBER! Get entry #511 and see. ChAoS -- The unibomber, isn't that the guy who straps explosives on to unicorns? * 151. I was the pilot of the plane Buddy Holly, Big Bopper, and Richie Valens were in. I told them if I hear Chantelly Lace one more time I'm crashing and they didn't believe me! ChAoS -- you are Dr. NoNads. * 152. I have a near earth orbit and I'm on a collision course. ChAoS -- you are Dr. NoNads. * 153. I'm the one who stopped up Mt. St. Helens. It wouldn't have blown its top without me. ChAoS -- you are Dr. NoNads. * 154. I am weevil incarnate, show me to your cotton bolls. ChAoS -- you are Dr. NoNads. * 155. I put piranhas in swimming pools, but only because sharks are so expensive. ChAoS -- you are Dr. NoNads. * 156. #141-142 Oh go back to your little dark hole and sit on a carrot! I'm the original Gonads and still the best! And if you stupid Moron think you can replace me, you've got another think coming! I am Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- You cannot win, give up now. * 157. And as for your assumptions, the assumptions of an impostor are worthless! Just like you! I am Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- You cannot win, give up now. * 158. #143 Ha! Holy water does nothing to me! I am not an evil antithesis of the Almighty, I AM the almighty! I am Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- You cannot win, give up now. * 159. ChAoS, you poor fool. Leeches are so much more entertaining than fish. I am Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- You cannot win, give up now. * 160. I took the proof out of the pudding I am Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- You cannot win, give up now. * 161. #'s 156-60 Oh pul-eeze. You aren't even a pale imitation of my true greatness. Get lost you simpering little wanker. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The One and Only * 162. #161- Even though you, too, are an impostor of the worst kind, I will have to agree with you there. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The ONLY One And Only! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! * 163. I smite impostors with one swipe of my mighty sword. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The ONLY One And Only! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! * 164. I hang with the Kennedys. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The ONLY One And Only! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! * 165. ....And I drink more than Ted. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The ONLY One And Only! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! * 166. I'm so hot, even my mother wants me! Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The ONLY One And Only! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! * 167. I kill all who trespass in my daisy garden. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The ONLY One And Only! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! * 168. I have an A-bomb in my basement and I plan to drop it on Canada next week. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The ONLY One And Only! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! * 169. I am the REAL King of Rock'n'Roll and I killed Elvis because he was a threat to my greatness. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The ONLY One And Only! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! * 170. I have frequent sexual fantasies about Dinky, the Taco Bell chihuahua. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The ONLY One And Only! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! * 171. I killed Kenny. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- The ONLY One And Only! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! * 172. #162 You poor, deluded fool. You are the impostor of the worst kind. The kind that exists. I am Dr. Gonads. I am what I am. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- Me Gonads, You Impostor! * 173. #171 You stupid moron, ANYone knows, that I killed Kenny. Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD -- Me Gonads, You Impostor! * 174. *yawn* DoctorNurse, not Sleepless in Tampa -- this.is.a.list?@soleil.acomp.usf.edu * 175. *zzzzzzzzz.......* DoctorNurse, not Sleepless in Tampa -- this.is.a.list?@soleil.acomp.usf.edu * 176. #174-175: So maybe I can't turn the world on with my smile, but I can make Mary Tyler Moore cream her panties... Just Another Gonads Imposter -- * 177. You're a moron. Shut up. Dr. Gonads MD phD STD -- * 178. *zzzzzzzzz.......* DoctorNurse, not Sleepless in Tampa -- this.is.a.list?@soleil.acomp.usf.edu * 179. I am, I am, I am Superman. And I can do anything. So there, you bastard. Dingo Floyd -- not Dr. Gonads * 180. I yam what I yam. Dingo Floyd -- not Dr. Gonads * 181. I'm a Snork! Dingo Floyd -- not Dr. Gonads * 182. I am the Alpha and the Omega. Dingo Floyd -- not Dr. Gonads * 183. I am, I said. I am, said I. Dingo Floyd -- not Dr. Gonads * 184. What I am is what I am is what you are or what? Dingo Floyd -- not Dr. Gonads * 185. I am the eggman. Oops, sorry, I meant they are the eggmen. I am the walrus. Yeah, that's the ticket. Have you met my wife, Morgan Fiarchild, or as I call her, Goo Goo Kachoo? Dingo Floyd -- not Dr. Gonads * 186. I am 16, going on 17. So get your paws off me, you Nazi pig. Dingo Floyd -- not Dr. Gonads * 187. Madam, I'm Adam. Dingo Floyd -- not Dr. Gonads * 188. Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such adult entertainment films as "I Know Who You Did Last Summer" and "Honey, I Humped the Kids." Dingo Floyd -- not Dr. Gonads * 189. DON'T TRUST ANYTHING THAT BLEEDS FOR FIVE DAYS AND DOESN'T DIE.... The FUGG -- FUGGUTOO@AOL.COM * 190. EARTH FIRST!..... We can stripmine the other planets later......... Fugg -- * 191. I put the bugs into Top-X:Updated? Dr. Orion NVN -- Top-X:Updated?@shamelessplug.com * 192. I am Bill Gates' nice twin Brother Dr. Orion NVN -- Top-X:Updated?@shamelessplug.com Started by: Dr. Gonads MD PhD STD () Started on: Thu Aug 6 15:31:45 1998