Euphemisisms for masturbation

                * 1. The Smashing Pumpkins' back catalogue.
                  Dangerman --

                * 2. Damn, this is one of dozens of places where a simple
                  picture of JustMe could say a thousand words.
                  THE SACRED MONKEY OF Hhub-oy yabub! --
                  sacredmonkeyland@hotmail.com

                * 3. Speaking of whom, I can't believe that a list simply
                  consisting of an unkind comment about the Slashing
                  Bumpkins hasn't been flamed by the Meester yet. It's been
                  a week! Do you think his woman's leading him astray?
                  Dangerman --

                * 4. I certainly hope so. As long as 'Astray' is somewhere a
                  few hundred miles away from Jonesville.
                  Dangerman --

                * 5. Hang on, we could have fun here. SMASHING PUMPKINS
                  SUCK!!!
                  Dangerman --

                * 6. Well, that's my idea of fun.
                  Dangerman --

                * 7. What the hell's in this coffee anyway?
                  Dangerman --

                * 8. Have no fear, I haven't vanished completely. Far be it
                  from me to pass up a list like THIS. Here I go...
                  Just Me -- AKA The "Meester" (???)

                * 9. Wait, it looks like Dangerman has pretty much said it
                  all. Oh well. I'll try anyway.
                  Just Me -- AKA The "Meester" (???)

                * 10. Not only do the Smashing Pumpkins in general suck, but
                  has anyone here actually paid any attention to their
                  songwriting? I cite as example #1 a line from their new
                  song (if you can call it that) "Ava Adore": "In you I feel
                  so hungry/ In you I crash cars." Now, personally, I can't
                  understand what a fiery car crash could possibly have to
                  do with being obsessed with a woman (or another man,
                  presumably, in Billy Corgan's case), but the sheer idea of
                  a fiery crash involving their tour bus is a very appealing
                  idea.
                  Just Me -- AKA The "Meester" (???)

                * 11. Next up is another appealing idea from the same song:
                  "You'll be a lover in my bed/ And a gun to my head." I
                  don't think I have to explain what's so great about this
                  idea, but let me just say that it's almost enough to make
                  me want to dress in drag and pretend to want to sleep with
                  him... (Please note that I said it's *almost* enough,
                  because I don't think I'd go to that extreme.)
                  Just Me -- AKA The "Meester" (???)

                * 12. Whee, that was fun.
                  Just Me -- AKA The "Meester" (???)

                * 13. Oh, wait, I almost forgot. The song "Zero" apparently
                  describes their musical talent.
                  Just Me -- AKA The "Meester" (???)

                * 14. And I resent Entry #2. I'll have you know that it's
                  been a LONG time since I've masturbated. Why, it's what
                  now, nearly 11 o'clock!
                  Just Me -- AKA The "Meester" (???)

                * 15. #10: "In you I feel so hungry/ In you I crash cars" is
                  probably about how car crashes make him hungry. Does that
                  clear things up?
                  Dangerman -- wanxing lyrical

                * 16. I mean, maybe he's like those people in 'Crash', only
                  instead of shagging corpses in crashes, he just nicks
                  their bags of Fruit Gums and Werthers Originals.
                  Dangerman -- wanxing lyrical

                * 17. #15 - Yes, you've helped immensely. Now perhaps you
                  could explain how one could "taste God" after crashing
                  these cars... Is he feeling so hungry after car crashes
                  that he takes a big bite out of the Big Guy, or what? Or
                  is he just licking him? Is God even involved in the crash?

                  Just Me --

             Started by: ()
             Started on: Thu Jul 2 14:00:21 1998