How to make people you hate miserable: * 1. Throw them out the airlock without a spacesuit. Colonel FNORd -- * 2. Or, with a spacesuit with several small holes in it. Colonel FNORd -- * 3. Drop them into the sun. Colonel FNORd -- * 4. Put them in the matter/antimatter intermix chamber. Colonel FNORd -- * 5. Quote their earlier statements. Nyah, nyah, not this time -- * 6. Tell them how much their kids are like them. Nyah, nyah, not this time -- * 7. Imitate them with exaggeration. Nyah, nyah, not this time -- * 8. Use aliases in posts about them. Nyah, nyah, not this time -- * 9. Rub Icy Hot In their undergarments. -- * 10. Replace their toothpaste with Preparation H -- * 11. Tie them to a chair infront of the computer, and make them read every entry in TOP-X -- * 12. Lock them in a round room, and say "Go sit in the corner" -- * 13. Play them the new Bruce-Hornsby-sampling 2Pac single. F*** me, that stinks. Dangerman -- * 14. Throw them around by their eyelids. Shazam! -- * 15. Every morning, take their paper from their front porch and toss it in a puddle. Shazam! -- * 16. Call them every night at about 2 am, then pretend you have the wrong number. Shazam! -- * 17. Tell them they can't fly jets over their land, and bomb them when they do. Shazam! -- * 18. Give them a free trip to Ohio. Most miserable place I can think of. Shazam! -- * 19. The classic: *ring ring* "Hi, is Geoff in?" "No, there's no-one here called Geoff." *Ring ring* "Hello, is Geoff in?" "I TOLD YOU THERE'S NO-ONE HERE CALLED GEOFF!!! PISS OFF!!!!" Dangerman -- * 20. *ring ring* "WHAT????!!" "Hi, it's Geoff here, are there any messages for me?" Dangerman -- * 21. But what if there IS a Geoff there? What then? Huh funny boy? Colonel FNORd -- * 22. #21 Tell him your calling on behalf of the Center for Disease Control, and his syphillis results came back positive. OW!! -- Why does it burn when I pee Started by: JellyPhish () Started on: Sun Feb 7 16:38:33 1999