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1. The ability to tell whether a roll contains ham or beef without looking.
Dangerman -- Ill
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2. The ability to water hanging baskets without getting wet yourself.
Dangerman -- Ill
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3. The ability to make a noise like any East-European car.
Dangerman -- Ill
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4. The ability to leap tall buildings when nude.
Dangerman -- Ill
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5. The ability to 'do' clingfilm without the stuff sticking to itself.
Dangerman -- Ill
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6. #5: I don't care how desperate you are, having sex with inanimate objects is never the answer.
SuperDingo Floyd -- don't mock a man in tights
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7. Being almost as strong as a locomotive, when you think about it, is still pretty impressive.
SuperDingo Floyd -- don't mock a man in tights
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8. Being faster than a dawdling bullet.
SuperDingo Floyd -- don't mock a man in tights
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9. The ability to leap tall buildings with about 4, 5 bounds max.
SuperDingo Floyd -- don't mock a man in tights
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10. Farts of Invisibility.
SuperDingo Floyd -- able to steal your babies in a single bound
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11. The ability to morph into any object made out of Kleenex.
SuperDingo Floyd -- able to steal your babies in a single bound
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12. The ability to know, at all times, whether or not your opponent is wearing clean underwear.
SuperDingo Floyd -- able to steal your babies in a single bound
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13. The Power of the Emu.
SuperDingo Floyd -- able to steal your babies in a single bound
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14. The ability to annoy opponents by making a buzzing sound like a flourescent light.
Alnitak --
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15. The power to make turnip plants grow at an accellerated pace.
Alnitak --
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16. The lung power to clear the seven chamber crystal bong
Alnitak --
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17. The ability to control syrup.
Alnitak --
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18. The ability to predict the exact moment when the last popcorn kernal pops
Alnitak --
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19. Ability to unhinge your jaws and open your mouth wider than your head.
ChAoS --
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20. The ability to partially shapechange in the most useless of ways.
ChAoS --
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21. Uncontrollable telepathic thought sending.
ChAoS --
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22. Ability to become Altinak at will.
ChAoS --
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23. Ability to eat copious amounts of beef.
ChAoS --
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24. Able to Bleed at will.
ChAoS --
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25. Danger sense that triggers your mighty possum reflexes. (He's playing dead!)
ChAoS --
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26. The actual (as opposed to proportional) stregnth of a spider.
ChAoS --
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27. Any that you get by being bitten by the following radioactive insects: mayfly, dung beetle, caterpillar, etc.
ChAoS --
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28. Superhuman powers as long as your exposed to a green sun.
ChAoS --
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29. #27 Cool! Radioactive Catipillar Man could tell how wet the next three months would be!
Prime MInister FNORd --
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30. Invulnerability to toe fungus
Prime MInister FNORd --
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31. To touch the scream that crawls up the wall.
Prime Minister FNORd --
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32. Be able to lick envelopes closes in split second.
Prime Minister FNORd --
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33. #29-32: How many times do I have to tell you? Drinking and Top-X posting do not mix! Seriously, do #29 or #31 make sense to _anybody_?
Dingo Floyd -- protector of carpet lint
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34. Russia. (Oops, that's international superpowers left over after all the good ones have been taken)
Dingo Floyd -- protector of carpet lint
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35. #33 #29 Makes perfect sense to me...There's an old wives tale that says when wooly bear catipillars emerge in the spring time, the length of the stripes of color portend the amount of rain for the next three months.
Alnitak --
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36. Apparrently, FNORd is an old wife.
Alnitak --
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37. #35. I heard it tells you how long the winter will last.
ChAoS -- (damn rain loving northwesterners.)
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38. #36. I wondered when he'd get that gender change. His husband has been asking him about it for months.
ChAoS -- (damn rain loving northwesterners.)
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39. #31. I am the EVIL SCREAM now to crawl up that wall and rob the bank. EEEEEEE! He's touching me in nasty places!
ChAoS -- (damn rain loving northwesterners.)
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40. Ability to tie monkeys into knots.
ChAoS -- (damn rain loving northwesterners.)
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41. Ability to turn your flesh into smoked ham.
ChAoS -- (damn rain loving northwesterners.)
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42. Being the sole mortal to wield the Spork of Hephasteus.
ChAoS --
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43. Ability to swallow things twice your size. (In a non-perverted way.)
ChAoS --
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44. Ability to shove your head up you ass.
ChAoS --
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45. Ability to make people sprout thick body hair.
ChAoS --
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46. Ability to conjure mackeral.
ChAoS --
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47. The ability to conjugate mackeral. I mackeral, you mackeraln, he she or it mackerals, they mackarally.
Count FNORd --
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48. The ability to conjugal mackerals
Count FNORd --
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49. #22: Why would anyone in their right mind want to do that?
Jinx --
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50. And those not in their right mind are pretty close to it anyway...
Jinx --
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51. I personally prefer his cute twin brother, Alnilam.
Jinx --
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52. The ability to spell my name correctly.
Alnitak --
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53. The ability to run in slow motion.
Alnitak --
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54. The ability to conjure up the bionic woman "dit dit dit dit" sound whenever you do something.
Alnitak --
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55. The ability to conjure up the bionic woman.
Alnitak --
