Y2K predictions * 1. all lawyers are round up and sent in a rocket into the sun, thus beginning the era of the Next Great Awakening angrywhitemale -- * 2. professional wrestler Hulk Hogan becomes the next President, promoter don king is appointed UN Ambassador, saddam hussein starts more shit, setting the stage for the grudge match of the milenium between Hogan and hussein to end it all for good. as a reprecussion, disneyland opens in downtown baghdad which sucks worse than euro-disney angrywhitemale -- * 3. a lowly journalist from Columbus, Ohio exposes a sleasy scandal in the michigan wolverine locker room involving ABC sports announcer, brent musburger, a 15-year old male prostitute named sergio, and some farm animals. a national poll taken after the incident finds that most Americans, outside the state of michigan find the behavior as very disturbing and inappropiate. angrywhitemale -- * 4. as a result of #3, John Cooper and the Ohio State Buckeyes sweep the next 12 meetings between the Buckeyes and Wolverines angrywhitemale -- * 5. my brother drewboy will finally get laid angrywhitemale -- * 6. Hypnotic recovered memory therapy will be remembered as the last great con and rip-off of the 20th century. The Debbil Made Me Do It -- * 7. Great disappointment spreads because no one partied like it's 1999. ChAoS -- * 8. Scientists attempt to clone dead celebrities, a mutation occurs and they rampage killing and eating the tourists and some ven start breeding. ChAoS -- * 9. The news becomes entirely fictional, the very rare occasions where they have a true story is because the newsmen themselves killed someone to get the story. ChAoS -- * 10. Crime is no longr rampant in the streets, now it's rampant on sidewalks. ChAoS -- * 11. angrywhitemale decides to come out of the closet and marries a black man. Drewboy -- * 12. Ohio State chokes again. Drewboy -- * 13. In an effort to rid the reputation of being a school filled with hippies, Kent State rallies around George Bush II when he announces his bid for president Drewboy -- * 14. The Euro-dollar is finally excepted by street walkers like Jinxster. Drewboy -- * 15. The Ragnarok arrives. All Christians slaughtered mercilessly before the mighty Aesir get down to business destroying Cthulhu and co. Urban Valkyrie -- * 16. angrywhitemale starts high school. Then just as quickly gets thrown out again. Urban Valkyrie -- * 17. Asatru accepted as official religion in England. I become High Priestess. Hey, it happened in Iceland... Urban Valkyrie -- * 18. Charlton Athletic to win the Premiership. Urban Valkyrie -- * 19. England are World Football Champions. Urban Valkyrie -- * 20. George Bush II will be elected president, and congress will also be overwhelmingly republican. There will be no "vast left wing conspiracy." Shazam! -- * 21. The Y2K bug will cause the entire world to crash. Governments will fall into anarchy, chaos will rule. Ohio won't notice a change. Shazam! -- * 22. As a result of the above, only those members of paranoid militia groups will be prepared to face the coming disaster. Ironically, they will all be killed trying to "get control of the government before it's too late." Shazam! -- * 23. Morons everywhere will welcome the new millenium, ignorant of the fact that the 21st century doesn't start until 2001. (there was no year "zero") Shazam! -- * 24. Maybe I will finally learn to spell Shazam! -- * 25. Drewboy starts work for a prestigious corporation in New York... as a janitor. Urban Valkyrie -- on.her.harley@valhalla.com * 26. Canada finally hatches the secret plan it's been hatching all these years and annexes the US. Urban Valkyrie -- on.her.harley@valhalla.com * 27. The new province of Southern Canada's education levels and standards of living shoot up as a result. Urban Valkyrie -- on.her.harley@valhalla.com * 28. Mexico then invades from the south and the Southern US becomes Northern Mexico. None of the inhabitants notice the difference. Urban Valkyrie -- bike.for.freya@sessrumnir.com * 29. The US government is unable to resist as it's entire defence network has been locked up by the millennium bug. Urban Valkyrie -- bike.for.freya@sessrumnir.com * 30. As a result of the world's number one capitalist aggressor collapsing, the UN is finally able to enforce it's principles, the loss of the IMF and World Bank mean no more debt crisis, nationalist movements and communist movements disband as there's no one to protest against, and world peace is achieved by 2010. Urban Valkyrie -- bike.for.freya@sessrumnir.com * 31. Another consequence of this is that Michael Jackson is forced to retire as he no longer has anything to write songs about. Good news all round, really. Urban Valkyrie -- bike.for.freya@sessrumnir.com * 32. It'd be a world where apes evolved from men. ChAoS -- * 33. Nuclear winter, failing that you'll at least get nuclear springtime. ChAoS -- * 34. There will be weather. Tec42 -- tec42@geocities.com * 35. Jinxster prosecutes and wins a high-profile human rights case at The Hague. Smelymouse -- * 36. Memory Therapy as a profession changes its name several times, but still fades away. Smelymouse -- * 37. Russian Communists make a big comeback, humbly starting in the borscht-flavored cotton-candy trade. Smely -- * 38. Thanks to orbiting solar mirrors, Vladivostok and Murmansk become major resorts, eclipsing Miami Beach. Smely -- * 39. Nothing new will happen, but there'll be more hype than the Flintstones movie, the Clinton scandal (both of them), and the OJ trial combined. Sailor Earth -- bkube@globaldailog.com * 40. Red Monkia's (of the Battle Chasers fame) breasts will get so big that she'll need ankle weights to support herself. Sailor Earth -- bkube@globaldailog.com * 41. New Simpson episodes. Sailor Earth -- bkube@globaldailog.com * 42. F--- and a--hole will be ok to say on public television. Sailor Earth -- bkube@globaldailog.com * 43. More movies based on TV shows nobody cares about anymore. Sailor Earth -- bkube@globaldailog.com * 44. Trent Reznor still hasn't put out a new album. Sailor Earth -- bkube@globaldailog.com * 45. Douglas Omen and Colin Powell form the 2K Libraterian dream ticket. Sailor Earth -- bkube@globaldailog.com * 46. #45: Libraterians? So, the people born in late September and early October finally have their own political party, eh? Dingo Floyd -- Master Nitpicker * 47. A new movie sequel is released -- "There's Something about Mary Tyler Moore". DoctorNurse in Tampa -- youre.gonna.make.it@soleil.acomp.usf.edu * 48. Vegemite will become the food of the new millenium. The seer formaly known as Mage Orion -- @i.know.the.future.org.au * 49. The new status symbols for women will be going out with normal looking guys with glasses. The seer formaly known as Mage Orion -- @i.know.the.future.org.au * 50. laser eye surgery will go out of fashion as a result. The seer formaly known as Mage Orion -- @i.know.the.future.org.au * 51. contact lenses become a thing of the past. The seer formaly known as Mage Orion -- @i.know.the.future.org.au * 52. we learn how to extract an endless supply of energy from old top-x posts. The seer formaly known as Mage Orion -- @i.know.the.future.org.au * 53. "CAT" Scans are virtually eliminated in leading medical centers. Replaced by the Doberman/Bassett procedure. Smelymouse -- Started by: angrywhitemale () Started on: Thu Nov 12 10:36:13 1998