Q: My fiancee still has feelings for his old girlfriends. I'm afraid he will
not be faithful.
A: A man's capacity to love is boundless. It has been proven
to increase with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other
women, your partner is really increasing his love for you. Best thing to do
is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't
mention this aspect of his behavior.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior - and it should be
encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other
men. Far from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair,
and to get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how emotional
and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. Best thing to do is
to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention
this aspect of his behavior.
Q: My husband wants to experience three-in-a-bed-sex with me and my sister.
A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get
enough of you, so he goes for the next best thing - your sister. Far from being
an issue, this will bring all of the family together. Why not get some cousins
involved? If you are still apprehensive, then let him go with your relatives,
buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention
this aspect of his behavior.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex with him.
A: Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting, but has only
10 calories a spoonful. It is nutritious and helps you to keep your figure and
gives a great glow to the skin. Interestingly, a man knows this. His offer to
you to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral sex is extremely
painful for a man. This shows he loves you. Best thing to do is to thank him,
buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you
must mess with it, do it in your own time. To help with the family budget you
may wish to video tape yourself while doing this, and to sell it at flea markets.
To ease your selfish guilt, buy your man a nice expensive present, and cook
him a delicious meal.
Q: My husband goes straight to sleep after making love - we have no time to
talk.
A: Sex is an extremely difficult task for a man. Afterwards
he needs rest. In fact, the more he loves you, the more hard work his love-making
is, and the more rest he needs. Stop putting pressure on him. Buy him a nice,
expensive present, and cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband's efforts at lovemaking only last 30 seconds.
A: Your husband loves you very much. He is so turned on
by you that he cannot control himself. In fact, the shorter the 'effort' the
more he loves you. Return this love by buying a nice, expensive present, and
cooking him a nice meal.
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: Foreplay to a man is very hurtful. What it means is that
you do not love your man as much as you should - he has to work a lot to get
you in the mood. Abandon all wishes in this area, and make it up to him by buying
a nice expensive present, and cooking a nice meal.
Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm.
A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant,
man-hating feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't mention it again
to him and show your love to him by buying a nice expensive present ..and don't
forget to cook him a delicious meal.