EXCLUSIVE: Windows '98 source code

/* TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code
Project: Chicago(tm)
Projected release-date: Summer 1994
*/

      #include "win31.h"
      #include "win95.h"
      #include "evenmore.h"
      #include "oldstuff.h"
      #include "billrulz.h"
      #define INSTALL = HARD

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

void main()
{
while(!CRASHED)
{

      display_copyright_message();
      display_bill_rules_message();
      do_nothing_loop();

      if (first_time_installation)
      {

           make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
           do_nothing_loop();
           totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
           search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
           hang_system();

      }

      write_something(anything);
      display_copyright_message();
      do_nothing_loop();
      do_some_stuff();

      if (still_not_crashed)

           display_copyright_message();
           do_nothing_loop();
           basically_run_windows_3.1();
           do_nothing_loop();
           do_nothing_loop();

        }
      }

      if (detect_cache())

           disable_cache();

      if (fast_cpu())
      {

           set_wait_states(lots);
           set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
           set_mouse(action, jumpy);
           set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);

      }
      /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
      /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */

      printf("Welcome to Windows 98");

      if (system_ok())

           crash(to_dos_prompt);

      else

           system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

      while(something)
      {

           sleep(5);
           get_user_input();
           sleep(5);
           act_on_user_input();
           sleep(5);

      }
      create_general_protection_fault();
      }