How to write flashes/interviews


written by Roland Ulvselius

Ok if you allready are a succesful handler you could probably easily write an equally good or even better tutorial.
But as a fedhead I recieve surprisingly many applications that I can’t accept due to the poor quality of the sample interview sent in by the handler. And as I haven’t seen a flashwriting tutorial page posted on the net I decided to write one. Additions and suggestions on improvments are more than welcomed. With that said and out of the way, here goes.

The most important, and in my opinion the funniest, part of e-wrestling is writing flashes/interviews.
That is what, if done well, will bring life into your wrestler and if they are very good, the entire federation.
And if you are in a nonsimulated federation it’s what makes your wrestler succesful.
Because in nonsimulated feds the one/ones deciding if you will win or not is he/she or those who runs the federation.
Therefor you must amuse/impress the President. The way to do it is through roleplaying. A thing you do in the form of flashes/interviews.
How to do it?
Well let’s start by looking at how not to do it. The six major no-no’s in writing flashes.

The 6 Major No-no's when writing flashes.

1. Being pointless

"Nice Guy" Nick Norton: Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla ,bla ,bla ,bla, bla, I will beat you, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, I am so great, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla ,bla, bla I will beat you, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla and so one etc.

Huge interviews/flashes that just goes on and on. In many things size matters. Bigger is often better but that isn’t the case in e-wrestling. Writing long interviews/flashes is not a gurantee that you will win. If you write a huge rant with only three or four lines that makes any sense and your opponent writes a short compact interview with out any dead moments with the same ammount of meaningful lines he will probably win. So remember size has nothing to do with success in e-wrestling. Quality has.

2. Because Austin 3:16 said so!

If your not in a fed with real wrestlers, never ever quote a real wrestler. In a small fed with inexperienced handlers you might get away. But if there are veteran handlers in the fed they will never get of you case. Expect to be called a wannabee, a copycat and chased and flamed until you either stop doing it, looses so many matches you get tired of it or has to hightail out of the fed. It isn’t excellent to talk about being the Excellence of Excecution if you’re not Bret the Hitman Hart. It’s a sign of you being unimaginative and is a poor rolplayer. Using a "real" wrestlers catchphrase won’t help you, it won’t develop you as a roleplayer and it won’t win you a title in any federation with self esteem. So don’t! Stone Cold didn’t say so I did!

3. Excessive use of fourletter words.

No I’m not talking about words like: glad, like, have etc.
I’m talking about swearing. Immature teenagers thinks it’s cool with fourletter words. The rest of the e-wrestling word don’t Writing interviews/flashes with every second word being combinated with the word that starts with the letter f and ending with the letters uck, wont make you sound older. It will only make your wrestler/wrestlers sound like kids and if it does then you don’t need it do you? A good rule that applies on many areas is less is more. If you have your wrestler come out time after time in flashes/interviews only consisting of obscenities the wanted tough/angry/bad effect wears of very quick. People will read it and think, ok he knows a lot of fourletterwords so what? Your caracther becomes tiresome and uninteresting and soon we will stop read the interviews and you will loose. However if you wrestler speaks "normally" most of the time but in a flash/interview when he is angry starts swearing. A thing he usually doesn’t do then you will get power behind the swearing. But make sure you bleep it out. Yes you heard me. That way you make the interview/flash sound realistic. Just think for a minute, when was the last time you heard a real wrestler say fing on a televised program with out it being bleeped out? Thought so. People will still understand what you meant and you will have added a touch of realism to the interview/flash. Of course there are several "Hardcore" feds out there on the net with people who loves to say fk, but in good federations creative, original, catchy, elequently put and thought through interviews/flashes will allways prevail against obscenity flashes.

4. "Smart" Comments

Things wrestler aren’t supposed to know about. Pro Wrestling is fake. You know it, the wrestlers themselves know it, we all know it. But in real life wrestlers allway pretends that it’s for real. They have to do that. Imagine how boring if a WWF superstar came out and said "Well att summerslam I will win the World Title in a hardfought match with a surprise ending. The Undertaker will job to me." It would kind of take out the entertainment of watching huh? Wrestlers work very hard on creating the illusion that Wrestling is real. I have never ever seen a wrestler use the term jobber in a interview and there’s a reason for it. If they did, they would destroy the illusion of realism that they are trying to create. However in the world of e-wrestling, a roleplaying world trying to simulate the world of professional wrestling there are tons of wrestlers accusing others of being jobbers. That simply looks stupid. If you want to say that another wrestler is a talentless bum, don’t use the word jobber. Call them losers, ham and eggers, that they are pathetic, that they stink as a wrestler or something like that. You get the picture. Never talk about things your wrestler aren’t supposed to know about. In wrestling they call that breaking kayfabe and doing so in real wrestling would put you in a very bad position with the President. Once again show some class, roleplay your wrestler like he was a real wrestler and don’t say things real wrestlers wouldn’t.
Never drag personal issues you have with other handlers into your interviews.
If you desperately feels the need to do such a thing send an "out of carachter" message.
Let everybody know that it's you the handler and not your wrestler expressing the things you have on your mind.

5. Don’t be unrealistic.

Ok, wrestling is unrealistic. Yes I know it. I have personally been chokeslammed and piledrived in real life so I know what I’m talking about. Real wrestlingholds if done correctly doesn’t hurt you. That isn’t what I am getting at. No, I’m talking about unrealisism in the interviews. Don’t have your wrestler benchpress 2000 pounds, don’t have him fly. you get the picture. Those things will only make your wrestler look pathetic and suggest you have a limited imagination. It makes your wrestler look like a comicbook carachter instead of the wrestler he is supposed to be. So try to be realistic. Before you send out a interview/flash look at it and see if you think it’s believable.

6. Don’t use other handlers wrestlers.

One of the best way of infuriating other handlers and fedheads for that matter is if you includ other handlers wrestlers in your flashes/interviews without their handlers permission. Sure you might think it would be cool to write a flash in wich your wrestler beats the crap out of another wrestler but it sin’t. Using another handlers wrestler is both disrespectful against both the wrestler, the handler and the federation. If you want to set up an angle in which your wrestler attacks another wrestler in a parking lot or somwhere else not included on a card, contact the handler and set it up. You never know he might agree to it as feuds are very good for wrestlers to be in as they often makes the wrestlers being more showcased in the federation. Or if you desperately want to taunt an opponent into a feud by beating him up try this. Have your wrestler beat up a guy posing as the wrestler you want to beat up. Make it clear that it’s not the real deal, have a wig come of or have him ask you for money at the end of the interview. A fake Sting if you know what I mean. Yeah right, you say. Then the real wrestler will only come out and say it was only a impersonator. Yes, he will probably do that, but then you can answer that it might only have been a impersonator but beating the real wrestler will be just as easy. Or come up with your own approach. Just make sure that you either have the permission from the handler or make it apparent that it’s not the real wrestler but a fake.

7. What ever you do don’t...

Never do racist comments against any minority, show scenes of child or sexuall abuse. That isn’t funny, nor is it impressive. It only shows poor taste. Even if it’s only ment to be a joke, it can and probably will hurt people. Never write things you know wouldn’t be broadcasted on real T.V.

Let’s run through the don’ts lets go through them again.

Don’t write big pointless interviews just to make them long, say what you have to do to get your message across and cut away the dead points in your roleplay.
Don’t use excessive swearing, if you swear bleep it out.
Don’t use "real" wrestlers catchphrases if your not in a "real" wrestlers fed. Create your own.
Don’t use smart comments.
Don’t be unrealistic, be a wrestler not a comicbook carachter.
Don’t use other handlers wrestlers without permission.

What TO DO!

1. Avoid the dont’s described above.

2. Write it like a movieclip and be descriptive.

Yup, you heard me.
Why, well in e-wrestling we pretend that we see the flashes and the interviews, don’t we? Yes we do. Then use that. Let us know where it takes place, what the place looks like, what your wrestler looks like and what he is wearing. That way you bring life to your wrestler and make it possible for the rest of us to picture it in our minds. Many wrestlers handlers write flashes like this.

Flash examples


Example 1

"Crazy" Charlie Gray: Well, well, well... So, Raging Richard Adams decided to do some of his dirty work on me. Attacking me on my way to the ring. To bad you didn’t get the job done. To bad the only thing you acomplished was tom make me mad. And believe me, that is not a good thing. You won’t like me when I am angry. I get CRAZY when I am angry. When I get crazy things start to happen to the ones I’m angry with. And now I am angry with you. Grow eyes in your back, change the locks on your doors. Because things are about to start happening to you.

Comments on the example.

A pretty normal flash. It isn’t great, it doesn’t suck. Let’s see if we can’t bring some life into it by writing it as a movieclip. Read it and see if you can’t picture it in your mind a bit better this way.


Example 2

[The scene opens in "Crazy" Charlie Gray’s dressing room in the Madison Square Gardens. Gray is sitting on a brown bench in front of a row of blue steel lockers. He is still wearing his ring attire, his blue tights, red kneesavers and red boots. His wellbuilt pale body is gleaming from presperation. He is holding a broomstick in his right hand. Gray runs his left hand through his short sweaty brown hair, looks straight into the camera with his brown eyes and starts to speak in his husky voice.]

GRAY: Well, well, well... So, Raging Richard Adams decided to do some of his dirty work on me. Attacking me on my way to the ring.

(He pauses as he gets a wild and crazy look on his face.)

To bad you didn’t get the job done. To bad the only thing you acomplished was tom make me mad. Believe me, that is not a good thing.

(He gets to his feet and tightens the grip on the broomstick.)

You won’t like me when I am angry. I get CRAZY when I am angry. When I get crazy things start to happen to the ones I’m angry with.

(He smashes the broomstick on a locker breaking it in half.

And now I am angry with you.

(He points the now broken broomstick straight at the camera)

Grow eyes in your back, change the locks on your doors. Because things are about to start happening to you...

[The scene fades to black.]

Comments on the example.

Ok, still not the greatest flash/interview ever written but with a more life than the first example, don't you think?


This was just an example to show you a method you can use to bring more life into your flashes/interviews. Here is a crude pattern on how to do it.

A very simple pattern for flash/Interview writing.

[Start by establish where the scene takes place, what the place looks like, who is present, what they look like, what they are wearing etc. (This way the reader can picture it in his/her mind.)]

Wrestler: here you write what you want to say. If it’s a short rant a short speech will do. But if it’s a long statement include pauses and make things happen in the flash to make it more intresting to read.

[End with a fade out.]


Why?
It brings more life into your carachters. This is the only way you can make the other handlers know what your wrestler looks like and show his personality.
Do you think it just seems like unnecessary work? Well I’ll bet my computer on that the second example will beat the first example in any league that is run fairly. If it doesn’t there is something rotten in the federation. So try it! I guarantee that once you get hang of it you will become more succesfull. At least in e-feds where the fedhead running it knows what he is doing.

3. Be true to your wrestler.

Be consistant and true to the wrestler you are playing. The object in the game in e-wrestling is to roleplay a wrestler. Take time to get to know him. Think yourself into his place so you can start imagine how he would react in to things that happens. Try to imagine what he would say, what he would do and how he would say and do it. If you can put yourself in your wrestlers place then you have all the makings of becomming a great e-wrestler.

4. Be creative.

Use your imagination. There are millions of places your wrestler can conduct an interview. Billions of things he can say. Millions of things that can happen. Only your own mind is the limit.

Well I think that’s it. Follow these steps, master them and you will have a great time e-wrestling.

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