If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk
In short:
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful.....WOMEN!
Gotta love 'em! :-)
* Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
* I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2
* I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine
* I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
* I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
* I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
* If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
* If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me
* It Takes Me All Night Long To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long
* My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
* She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
* The Last Word In Lonesome Is "me"
* I'll Get Over You As Soon As You Get Out From Under Him
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