You know that your PC's are in DEEP doo doo when...
Your characters are smacking monsters around with a bow because they forgot to purchase arrows.
The DM says "We'll roll for Jaxom's save after we see if you survive what just came out of the hut".
You are pretty sure you can take out the dracolich and beholder corps in a couple rounds cause you did it before in one of those MUD games.
Your character spends most of his time in the town jail for bar room brawls.
Your life and the lives of your group members always seems to hang on the roll of a single d20.
Your DM makes level-draining undead a major theme in your campaign.
Your only cleric dies 5 minutes into the adventure.
Your DM is drunker then you are.
The DM controlled NPC's in your group always seem to be the only people to survive the adventure.
Your DM get's a big grin on his face...
...when you improperly word your wish spell.
...And says "Uh, who's in front and what is his AC?"
...When you choose the left-hand tunnel.
...And tells the thief that he detects no traps.
The DM is handing out 100th-level pregenerated characters, and smiling about it.
The one artifact your party ever comes across makes you all lepers.
Every time you try to read an unfamiliar scroll outloud, you end up summoning some angry greater demon or devil.
Your entire party gets held on the first round of combat.
The party mage has killed more players then monsters by misjudging fireball ranges, and it's the only spell he has memorized.
Your DM asks to borrow everybody's d20's when rolling the damage you take.
Your DM often assigns Beavis & Butthead impersonations to NPC's, and names them after characters from the show.
Vorpal weapons are pretty common in your campaign.
Your DM rolls a 3 on the d20 and says "A HIT"
Half the characters in your party are Neutral Good Dark-Elf rangers.
Your DM usually rolls for random encounters from Legends and Lore.
Your DM tells only the party member wearing the Scarab of Protection to roll a save vs. death.
Your DM and the Kender have been passing notes all evening.
Notes have been flying furiously between the DM and every other member of the party but you...
There are so many note cards being passed from player to player and player to DM and back again that no one has said a word in two hours...
Your DM is drinking scotch---straight up.
The dwarf fighter's decides that his only option is to use a Wand of Wonder.
When even the paladin says "Uh, well, I guess we should kill them all."
When before you start into the dungeon the DM says "Everyone make a four saving throws now and I'll use them later"
After your party announces it's plan of attack after a twenty minute meeting and the DM shakes his head and says "OK, if you're sure that's how y'all want to do it"
You suddenly notice that those kobolds are holding *guns*.
The DM gets out the old edition of Deities & Demigods -- the one with the Cthulhu Mythos in it.
Every time someone mentions the name of a god/tanar'ri/baatezu, you hear percentile dice hit the table.
The factol of the Doomguard in Sigil just found a portal to Earth and discovered nuclear weapons.
Anytime the DM says "Roll a saving throw vs. disintegrate."
If you're ANYWHERE in module H4, "Throne of Bloodstone"
The DM says "Tonight's mission is for you to steal the Wand of Orcus from the Abyss and then destroy it."
The 18/00 strength double-specialized in two-handed battle-axe half-ogre standing in the middle of the party just failed his save vs. a Symbol of Discord.
You try bullying around the teenage girl NPC for laughs, and find out that she has ‘ spellfire' .
*After* your mage casts a fireball at the kobolds, he notices the patch of brown mold in the corner.
You have voluntarily let a kender anywhere *near* the party.
You suddenly notice you're standing between two beholders --of different sub- species.
The merchant you're negotiating with asks if you wouldn't mind signing the contract in blood.
The DM asks you "Exactly how do you pronounce 'tarrasque'?"
You spill your drink on an old guy in robes while in a tavern -- and you were in Shadowdale...
...And you also spilled some on the silver-haired woman in the ragged robe he was drinking with.
Your mage casts "Dispel Magic" to disarm a magical trap in the villain's lair -- and also dispels the Permanent Illusion that was blocking your view of the basilisk cage.
You automatically attack every drow you see "because they're evil"--and you go on a trip through Icewind Dale.
Your character has just found a ring of three wishes -- and your DM goes to law school in real life.
That nearsighted gold dragon has just mistaken you for an orc.
You're playing a 1st-level paladin in Ravenloft.
That mad wizard you're hunting does genetic engineering on tarrasques as a hobby.
You have just been caught stealing the DM's last slice of pizza.
Your party has just throw all of their best massive spells in three round of combat to destroy a demon when the DM says "Uh wait, I forgot to roll his MR for the whole combat. I'll do it now."
You just learned that drunk loser you been bragging to at the tavern for years about you victories over the Thieves' Guild is a spy for them. (Really happened)
The DM rolls for a monsters attack looks over his screen at your player sheet, and says, "Ewwwwww! I'll introduce your new character next week "
The DM asks you if you want this adventure to be a dream and you get nothing out of it or for real. Your either in for a really strange adventure or going to die.
Your famous Dragon Slayer group is teleported into the full council meeting of the Council of Wyrms.
The DM asks to borrow YOUR dice, because he just simply didn't bring enough.
You're taunting a Great Wyrm red dragon while wearing a Ring of Invisibility and accidentally step into a dead magic zone...
...Good grief. You're taunting a Great Wyrm red dragon wearing a Ring of Invisibility [end of sentence]. Dragons see invisible naturally.
You hear the NPC wizard who is in the middle of casting Fireball stop and say "Oops!"
The DM describes the approaching monsters as "big, gray frog-men" and you think he's talking about bullywugs
You mistake a tribe of bullywugs for Slaads and eradicate them as quickly as possible with your most powerful magic, and THEN the "big, gray, frog-men" show up.
You think the little wooden doll holding the silver needle is cute and take it home to your girlfriend (Actually happened)
The burning troll corpse falls into the pool of water which just happens to be the only exit from the chamber
The wizard, without bothering to consult the party, casts Lightning Bolt at the oncoming Stone Golem
The only person who spends more time in prison than the thief is the priest.
Between adventures, the party's fighter changes over to Paladin, and the formerly Neutral wizard embraces the Dark Side (Another true story)
Anytime the DM makes a soft growling noise at the back of his throat
The DM says "I want to try an 'All-Evil' campaign this time..."
The DM pulls out ANY Ravenloft supplement...
You're at a gaming store with your DM, and he asks the gent at the counter if they carry "that Dragon anthology...the one with the Anti-Paladin in it..."
Any sentence is spoken by the Screened One that starts with: "All of a sudden, and without warning..." (This got so bad with one DM I gamed with, that when anyone in the group...at ANY time...said "all of a sudden," the rest of the group would yell, "And Without Warning!" in unison! Sort of like Pee Wee's Secret Word. ;D )
The first thing out of the mouth of your brand new player is "so how do you guys feel about Battleragers?"
You sneak a glance at your DM's notes, and see that he's going to run S1 in Ravenloft...
Your DM starts pulling all the d6's out of his dice bag...
DM: Roll a saving throw on percentile dice, please.
PLAYER: Against which attack?
DM: One of each.
The chainmail-wearing NPC your 12th level players have been annoying throws *two* meteor swarms into the air, and sweetly says "You boys want to reconsider?"
The aforementioned NPC casually mentions being on good terms with Slaadi and Abyssal lords.
The DM is playing the evil lich intelligently.
The PCs are accidentally(?) teleported into the Ahrenthrok
The PCs open the casket of Universal Key.
The magic artifact does not hurt the demon at the end of the game.