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You Might Be a Gamer If:
...losing your dice bag would be a serious financial blow.
..." what do you mean dice bag ?" ( singular )
...you have your very own set of chits.
...you still use them insted of dice
...you could paper you bathroom in character sheets.
...you could paper your bathroom in different versions of just one character.
...you are (were) unable to walk past the latest TSR supplement without leafing through it, even though you know it's going to be bad.
...you have more entertaining "No-shit,-there-I-was-in-a-game" stories than you do anecdotes about your family.
...you talk about your characters as if they are real people.
...you talk to your characters as if they are real people.
...you refer to your IRL job as " Live Role Playing "
...you alternate between referring to your characters in the first and the third person.
...and none of your friends gets confused.
...you've ever spent a significant fraction of your life modifying game rules that you didn't like.
...and, as soon as the system worked to your satisfaction, discarded it.
...when someone says "the blue books," you don't automatically picture the kind that they give you during a college final exam.
...you worship idols of Gary Gygax in your basement.
...you burn Gary Gygax in effigy in your back yard.
...you will not buy comic books with the Dragon Strike (tm) logo on the back.
...you've ever seen the old AD&D tv series.
...you're still reading this list.
...you hang out with people you actively dislike because they give good role-play.
...you've ever gotten into a screaming match over something that happened in a game.
...you have more than one photocopied bootleg of a gaming text.
...you've been gaming over half your life.
...you keep old characters around because they are good company.
...you keep old characters around just in case someone might run that system again. (Never mind that its TS: SI)
...you knew what I meant when I said TS: SI.
...you have a PhD in manipulating point systems to the best effect, even though you failed high school geometry.
...you manipulate the point systems to the best effect and still have points left over to spend on a random and useless skill.
...your random and useless skill saves the day more than once.
...you can consume your body weight in junk food in one gaming session.
...it's not enough to sustain you.
...you consider Altoids, Salt-&-Vinegar chips, and blue Teeni Hugs a balanced diet. (or even an acceptable combination.)
...pizza, Coke, cheese puffs, and Sanex .
...pringles, chocolate covered peanuts, and Mountain Dew.
...you have been known to drive to far away places where you paid enormous amounts of money for the privilege of sleeping on floors, eating crap, buying little pewter statues of Gandalf, and meeting dozens of psychopathic members of the alternate (or similar) sex who will follow you around for months, merely for the pleasure of playing with gamers you don't know.
...and then signed up en masse with all of you friends to play in games with game masters who you've known since high school.
...you own your own weight in gaming books.
...before or after the 'consuming own weight' thing?
...the owners of local hobby stores take your checks without ID because they know where you live.
...and don't want to come over to collect
...you can do AD&D money conversions in your head.
...for Dragonlance
...while sleeping.
...you could wallpaper your bedroom in Dragon Mirths (tm).
... you have.
...you consider the demise of "What's New With Phil & Dixie" a blow to great literature.
...you consider the resurrection of "What's New With Phil & Dixie" the redeeming feature of Magic: The Gathering.
...you started a "Whats New with Phil & Dixie" fan club.
...the fan club sent Phil & Dixie mail
...you've thought of five or more lines to add to this list.
...you consider the 20th century a state of mind.
...you have a random NPC generator, written in BASIC, designed to run on the Trash-80, the Commodore 64, MSX or Apple II.
...you've ever designed your own character sheets.
...you can be more that three NPC's at the same time without generating more than reasonable confusion in your players.
...you have ever played a Dwarven character who did not have "axe" or "beard" ANYWHERE in his or her name.
...you know how to sex dwarves. (chromosome typing- required a blood sample. I'M not getting it...)
...you've ever tried to explain gaming to a school counselor, parent, or other PW/OC (Person With/Out Clue).
...you've succeeded.
...you've played Talisman more than once.
...you've finished a game of Talisman.
...more than once.
...you're STILL reading this list.
...you can quote extensively from the Wandering Damage Tables.
...you've mistaken a d12 or a double d10 for a d20 while playing AD&D and had a THAC0 low enough to hit the 8HD monster, anyway.
...you understood that.
...you carry AD&D insurance.
...your rates are high.
...your AC is so low that even you can't hit yourself.
...an 87 point Balrog is no big thrill anymore.
...you bring your dicebag even to diceless roleplaying events.
...to hit people with.
...you could fill a bean bag chair with spare dice.
...you bring it to games "just in case you nead it"
...you knew that was a trick question. Who has more dice then they can use ?
...you've ever discovered, after gaming with your significant other, that you like their character better than you do them.
...you ask them to dress as their characture
...they do
...you have friends or acquaintances who regularly refer to you as "Og." (Or something similar.)
...you've ceased responding to your birth name.
...you spend more money on dice than on food.
...even after the 'consume own weight' thing.
...you sometimes forget what century this is.
...your first response to any frustrating situation is, "I bash it with my axe."
...you point your finger at it a yell " FIREBALL "
...you know a lot of gaming jokes that used to be funny once.
...you still find them funny
...you know how to pronounce...
"Tsojocanth"
"Drizz't."
"Kostchtchie"
...you've ever had a lengthy discution about the strengths and weaknesses of
...a hemophiliac werewolf.
...a berserker on prozac.
...a nocturphobic vampire.
...gay paladins ( that ones for the netnews folks of '96 )
...if you have ever ANSWERED the call of Cthulu
...if you considered sueing the people who made the Movie "The Dungeon Master" for slander.
...if you have a jar in your room with loose change to buy the pizza saturday night for the group.
...if you type the word AC, HP, THAC0, or any abbreviation for any game and your spell check recognizes it.
...if you know exactly how many pages were saved by not writing the words "Dungeon Master" instead of DM in the AD&D players handbook.
...if you knew that the number was 12 and a half pages.
...if you have any medival weapons in your house and have asked friends if they have a knife sharpening kit.
...if you have ever wrote a campain that starts with a different adventure for each character.
...if you have ever made yourself by approximating the scores you would have in your favorite game system (BTW: I have a str 15, int 12, wis 10 con 13, dex 12 cha 15.).
...if you have ever tried to find a system for rolling d20's so that the number you want always comes up.
...you have succeeded.
...if you've ever laughed at more than two items on this list.
...if you use Call of Cthulu as an accessory to your World of Darkness games.
...if you use Call of Cthulu as a suppliment for your AD&D games.
...if someone asks you what class your character is and you say "Elf".
...if you seriously think of doing some of the things on this list now.
...the phrase "Collect Call of Cthulhu" brings back fond memories.
...you and your friends have spent a screening of "The Crow" assigning vampire clans to the various characters.
...you actually wear that little ankh that comes in the Vampire Live-Action box...in everyday life.
...you've ever gotten wierd looks from other customers at places like Denny's or IHOP because of the nature of your conversations.
...a friend of yours screws something up and you respond with, "looks like you failed your _________ roll."
...you've ever argued against a combat rule based on your experience in the SCA/Military/Police, etc.
...you have a dozen things in mind for when you come across a magic lamp.
...your car and/or home is falling apart, you're wearing the same clothes you wore in the 1980's, and you miss meals regularly, but you've got the money in the bank for the next year's worth of 's products.
...if your computer broke down, your biggest worry is how you'd print out your character sheets.
...you can cite the differences between "official" Star Trek, and FASA Star Trek, and Star Fleet Battles.
...your character has more close friends than you do.
...you have more Star Frontiers modules than you have close friends.
...you could write a biography of your character easier than you could write your own autobiography.
...you think that such a biography WOULD BE an autobiography.
...you can't find your favorite shirt, but you know where all the dice that came with your first D&D set are.
...you remember when games gave you tips on "inking" dice with crayon.
...you can give no fewer than six different speeches on "what is roleplaying?", verbatim, from the introductions to different games.
...you've bought a game even though you didn't like the genre or the rules, so that you could fix the rules and convert them to a different genre.
...you've looked into how much it would cost to build a castle.
...there is virtually no game that you can't name the genre, company, or country of origin for (Hunter Planet, anyone?).
...your most important criteria for a mate is that they're a gamer, too.
...you're a hetero male and you've considered changing orientation just to find a mate to meet that criterion (that's a word, right?).
...you've ever written a speech for your character to make just in case he should find himself in such a situation.
...your idea of a fun Friday night consists of getting the gang together and playing for eight or more hours.
...the only reason you want a lake cabin is so you and the gang can go up there and play non-stop all weekend without any distractions.
...you finally get to the point where you look at everything on the shelves and say " I can do a better job than these bozos!"
...you actually get a chance to do just that.
...and you succeed!
...you have a list of what all the potions taste like.
...your resume describes you as a '5th-Level Civil Engineer'.
...you've figured out that the Average AD&D Great Wyrm Red Dragon has 7 cubic feet of treasure.
...you Demand Experience points after winning a fistfight.
...you have a nickname that makes no sense because one of your characters had it.
...you Buy Dragon Magazine "For the Articles."
...back issues also.
...you know how many hit points every member of your family has.
...you know that you can fit 20 d4's together to make a large d20 because you've actually tried it.
...you're up until 5:30 in the morning posting to rec.games.frp.misc.
...game dealers at Gencon recognize you and know your name, even though it's your first time at Gencon.
...you remember GenCon in tents.
Please stop by from time to time.. There might some new ones on the list
If you have any others that should belong on this list. Then write me.