European Union

Heroes: Jenissa, Dust, Jag, Atobe Keigo and Pacci
Enemies: European Fashion, Sgt. Desrae and the European Union


Jag – Officer’s Dispatch 1

Recent Duties: You’ve spent the last few hours doing basically what you always do: preparing for court. Frankly, you’ve been stupified and mortified by some of the unlawful behavior you’ve seen since arriving at the front. This certainly has to be corrected. In fact, you’re sure that must be why they even sent you up here in the first place.

Troop Status
- Supplies: PK-33 Handguns, Armored Flak Vests, briefcases full of legal documents.
- Morale: Most of your men are as shocked as you by the illicit behavior of their fellow soldiers and officers, though a few of them think there might be good money to be made in defending any soldiers thus accused from you.
- Health: The Shark Pack is in perfect health, and hungry for blood.

Military Communiques
- It seems that you’re not the only one concerned by lawlessness at the frontline. You’ve heard from Law Division HQ that a foreign police detective has been dispatched ‘on loan’ to Front Base. Such a person might be of great assistance to you in your upcoming case.

Personal Notes
- There are plenty of shady characters at this Front Base, but as far as you’re concerned, that Desrae is the worst. Not only has she blatantly threatened numerous people with violence, but those boots she and her men were throwing were dangerous weapons. This base will be a safer place once she’s behind bars where she belongs.
- As a professional photographer, McMason is well-versed in the world of fashion. And according to him, this place called Europe is in, along with anything that might be from it. However, while maintaining a good image is of course important, you’re not overly concerned yourself with keeping up with the latest whimsical trends and fashions.
- Word is out that someone on the base might be engaged in selling illegal weapons under the counter. If any Republic troops are caught using such weapons, they might be liable for the injuries. You’ll have to keep an eye out for this.

Mini-Objective
- Convict Sgt. Desrae in a court of law. Surely, there’s got to be people on this base who have dirt against her.

Atobe Keigo – Officer’s Report 1

Recent Duties: Second place is the first loser, and as such you’re not terribly pleased with your men’s second-place finish on that obstacle course. Most of your time since then has been spent giving them a serious tongue-lashing about how their performance directly reflects on your family name. Sometimes, they even stopped watching their anime long enough to listen.

Troop Status
- Supplies: Republic Sabres, Deluxe uniforms and a large supply of tennis balls. This latter item is rather useful for batting at your men when they’re having trouble leaving the TV.
- Morale: Your men are currently in high spirits. Too high, given their second-rate performance at that obstacle course. They shouldn’t be allowed to be this happy with your family name still in shambles like it is.
- Health: Some of your men have been complaining about being a bit hungry. This could be because Sgt. Stenda seems to be putting them on a new ‘green’ diet, and not allowing them to eat the normal camp fare. She claims that in the long run, such a healthy diet is crucial for physical and spiritual well-being.

Military Communiques
- At the moment, you have no immediate orders from Special Forces command. This is quite unfortunate, as far as you’re concerned. You’re itching for another chance to prove your worth, and as such, are keeping an eye open for any potential assignments that might come your way.

Personal Notes
- Stenda has been rather concerned about the products that your troops, and by extension you, have been using to dye their hair. She’s concerned it may cause permanent damage to the roots. Instead, she’s brewing up an ‘all-natural’ product to distribute to you and your men to serve as a replacement for that ‘awful, synthetic’ stuff.
- Losing that obstacle course has put you in a rather foul mood indeed. In fact, you’re feeling a serious need to BURN something. Sadly, these impulses don’t usually go a long way towards restoring your image, but there’s just no other way to sate the burning hunger.
- That other Special Forces girl, Jenissa, seemed to be quite the uppity type. Getting on her good side would probably be a good start to restoring the ancient honour of your family.

Mini-Objective
- Burn down (at least) two tents, preferably without being caught in the process.

Pacci – Officer’s Report 1

Recent Duties: As per usual, most of your time lately has been spent thinking about Pacman and striking incredibly cool poses. The only reason you haven’t actually been playing Pacman is that you have yet to find an arcade at the base. It doesn’t really matter though – you’ve memorized all three of the levels anyway.

Troop Status
- Supplies: PK-33 Handguns, Bright Yellow Deluxe Uniforms, and plenty of fruit. Unfortunately, you’re a little short on bags with which to carry said fruit.
- Morale: The Pac is very proud of their flashy, bright yellow uniforms. Also, they’re happy to have a leader as incredibly cool as you. This puts them in rather good spirits indeed.
- Health: For the most part, your men are in good health. However, a couple of them are suffering from some minor lacerations to the face. These injuries allegedly occurred when Stone Cold Steve Austin smashed a beer bottle over their heads. You might have to have a little talk with him about that.

Military Communiques
- You have yet to receive any news from Conventionals High Command. Or any other source of authority for that matter. That’s fine by you though, the Pac is ready for action any time, with or without warning.

Personal Notes
- Lately, you’ve seen that Special Forces officer Vidal Sassoon carrying out an extremely fashionable-looking leather handbag. It looks a lot like a purse, but he calls it a European, and claims that it’s all in the rage in Europe. As an incredibly cool guy, you can certainly appreciate fashion – and what’s more, this European would be the perfect place to store all the fruit that you carry! You absolutely have to get yourself one.
- Just this morning, you saw a bunch of swarthy-looking latino guys giving your troops some trouble over their bright yellow uniforms. You have no idea who these guys were, but they seemed to have quite the attitude.
- Stone Cold Steve Austin is out of control! He never seems to listen to a thing you say, and quite frankly, you’re rather too intimidated to do anything about it. You’re starting to think it was maybe a mistake letting him into your unit in the first place.

Mini-Objective
- Obtain one of these supremely fashionable European handbags.

Dust – Officer’s Report 1

Recent Duties: You don’t find it at all surprising that the only foreign leader was the one who won that obstacle course. It just goes to show that Electran pride and snobbery doesn’t hold a candle to the good ol’ Denchuli work ethic. Since then, you’ve been spending your time just getting settled in, which due to your rather individual tastes, is a bigger challenge than you’d thought.

Troop Status
- Supplies: SIR Rifles, Republic Sabres. Not that your men are particularly fond of possessing the latter, since they seem to result in more self-injuries than anything else.
- Morale: The Boyos had a grand old time celebrating their obstacle course victory, with plenty of singing and jigging and Denchuli spirits. Of course, that doesn’t change the fact that they’re still scared to death of almost all the other units on this base.
- Health: Obviously, working on the farm makes you strong and tough, and that’s exactly what your Boyos are. The only minor injuries from which a few of them suffer are from their own Republic Sabres, which they can’t seem to hold right to save their lives. Frankly, you can’t really blame them, given your own ‘aptitude’ with the weapons.

Military Communiques
- You have yet to receive any form of official orders. It irks you, however, that the Special Forces seem to think they’re in charge of this camp. It does make you wonder, though, where all the other Conventionals are. With so few of you around, it’s going to be difficult to get any real work done!

Personal Notes
- Some of the other troops here just don’t have the professional standards that you do. Just this morning, you noticed a bunch of smarmy French fellows taunting your poor Boyos. Naturally, the Boyos’ only response to such an onslaught was to panic and flee, so you never did find out what it was all about.
- The Special Forces babies irritate you to no end. Especially those two women, who seem more concerned about their hair and make-up than they do about battle on the field. Normally, you think it best to walk softly and carry a big stick (err, gun), but something snarky almost inevitably comes out your mouth when those two are around.
- You’re having an awfully tough time satisfying your quirky dietary needs. In particular, the meals here at the base so far seem to consist mostly of a heavy meat stew, and you’ve had to subsist off just the crusty bread that comes with it. And while you’re used to roughing it, you could really go for a proper vegetarian meal right about now.

Mini-Objective
- Find a way to obtain a proper and filling vegetarian meal.

Jenissa – Officer’s Report 6

Recent Duties: Initially, you were none too pleased about being stuck on baby-sitter duty, especially given how that grubby Zeke managed to weasel out of it. And what’s more, the blatant cheating by the Wheel for their own benefit was simply unacceptable! On the other hand, though, maybe it isn’t so bad having some flunkies around to whom you can pass off work as ‘training exercises’ so you can spend more time in your bubble bath.

Troop Status
- Supplies: PK-33 Handguns, Combat Helms, Climbing spikes, Spotless set of Deluxe Uniforms, and a spare camera ‘borrowed’ from the RAF surveyor and French impressionist, Van Gogh.
- Morale: Your troops aren’t much happier than you about baby-sitting the kids, and have taken it upon themselves to impress upon the recruits just how much more valuable your time is over theirs. Which is something you can most certainly agree with.
- Health: Fortunately, physically your men are in fine shape, and are rather pleased they aren’t being made to go through ridiculous obstacle courses any more.

Military Communiques
- Much to your dismay, you’ve just been given orders to escort an incoming supply caravan through a nearby mountain pass and up to Front Base. Of course, as far as you’re concerned, the Outfit is far above such menial work. Surely, you can find some poor underlings with nothing better to do to perform this task for you.

Personal Notes
- Most of these new recruits haven’t done much to impress you. In other words, they haven’t done any talking about their families. One of them, that Dust fellow, is even a grubby foreigner! Admittedly, at least this Jag has an education, making him at least somewhat worthy of Special Forces status. You’ll have to check up on his young Keigo’s family background to make sure she warrants the same.
- Vidal Sassoon seems to have recently required some kind of new leather handbag. It looks rather like a purse, but her prefers to call it a European. Apparently, it’s all the rage in this Europe place, where according to him, all fashion originates.

Mini-Objective
- Convince as many of the new recruits as possible to perform this menial escort mission for you.


Adventure Summary:

  • Recruits arrive for lunch in the mess tent, though of course Jag is too busy to eat.
  • Jenissa and Keigo exploit Brock to bring them their lunch (the day's special being European beef, of course).
  • Vidal Sassoon brags about his fashionably European carry-all.
  • Obnoxious Portugese cut in front of Pacci in the food line. Jag promises legal action.
  • Dust goes searching for a vegetarian meal instead of the European beef.
  • Keigo explores the camp, discovers Marco Polo and his map-making Italians, and sets their tent on fire.
  • Pacci searches in vain for a European.
  • Jenissa obtains a European of her own.
  • Dust overcomes Stone Cold Steve Austin to obtain some of Pacci's endless supply of fruit.
  • Jenissa bullies the recruits into agreeing to an upcoming escort mission.
  • Jag prosecutes Desrae and puts her behind bars for threatening to shoot both him and his subordinate.
  • Pacci buys the European off Jenissa by agreeing to take over some of her military debt.
  • The Recruits march out to protect the supply caravan, where they are ambushed by the French, the Italians and the Portugese.
  • A battle ensues, but the Europeans are defeated.
  • The Republic officers chase the European leaders into a cave where a hand-to-hand fight breaks out.
  • The heroes are victorious, with the aid of the foreign detective on loan from the Dutch police force, KLOGG!
  • Vidal's European is stolen by the Wheel, and he is forced to call it the 'purse' that it is.

  • Back to Res Publica

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