Eegah!

Heroes: Jenissa, Dust, Jag, Atobe Keigo, Balarai Snowe and Zeke
Enemies: Lady Draven and the Spheran House of Stormwind, Eegah, Arch Hall Jr. and the ever-present danger of snakes


Jag – Officer’s Dispatch 2

Recent Duties: Since the battle with those traitorous Europeans, your time has all been spent settling the affairs of the deceased Celino & Barnes. Of course, much of this has consisted of legally defending yourself from the other members of the Shark Pack, who tried to sue you for personal injury on Celino & Barnes behalf. As such, you’ve hardly had time to sleep or eat. Much like usual.

Troop Status
- Supplies: PK-33 Handguns, Armored Flak Vests, briefcases full of legal documents.
- Morale: The Shark Pack is still in an uproar over the death of Celino & Barnes. Obviously, they didn’t expect to ever actually be in the real line of fire. Of course, this has by no means frightened them, but instead sent them into a feeding frenzy for legal blood.
- Health: If you don’t count the fact that two of your men are dead, your troops are suffering from no ill effects.

Military Communiques
- You’ve heard rumors through the legal grapevine that Front Base is soon to be subject to some kind of important inspection. You’ll have to make sure that the base is squeaky clean – legally, of course.
- Your unit has been given orders to embark on a field exercise in the mountains to the South-East at 1600 today. You suspect that this upcoming inspection may have something to do with it. Although you really think your time is much too valuable to be spent slogging through mountainous terrain, perhaps it will at least allow you to investigate some strange rumors you’ve been hearing recently…

Personal Notes
- Reports continue to grow around the base of soldiers being injured by various mechanical accidents, some even involving explosives. One of your own men, William Mattar, has been all over the case, and attributes it to substandard weapons being used by those Auxiliaries. He suggests obtaining a warrant for a full inspection of the base’s supply facility.
- A whispered rumor is floating amongst the troops that a giant has been sighted in the environs of the base. While most don’t believe this silly rumor, others think a great deal of money could be made off such a ‘scientific discovery.’ One thing’s for sure, you can’t have such superstitious rumors circulating with the impending inspection – you’ve got to settle this matter one way or another.

Mini-Objective
- Prove that this mythical ‘giant’ does not exist, or obtain photographic evidence of him if he does.

Atobe Keigo – Officer’s Report 2

Recent Duties: Having engaged in some moderate burning and kicked some European butt, you’ve been feeling a little better recently. You’ve even given your men a little bit of slack while you’ve been out on the exercise field working on your tennis game. Of course, their performance still hasn’t been nearly good enough for your standards, but at least it’s a start.

Troop Status
- Supplies: Republic Sabres, Deluxe uniforms and a large supply of tennis balls. This latter item is rather useful for batting at your men when they’re having trouble leaving the TV.
- Morale: Your men are a little upset at those lawyers stealing their ‘kill’ of the Portugese unit. Or rather, they should be upset about it, because you certainly are. You’d gone to all the trouble of softening them up – the kill was yours! You don’t intend to let such a situation re-occur.
- Health: Your men are healthy, but their hair is not. Or at least, it doesn’t look like it. Sgt. Stenda has forced them both them and you to switch over to ‘all-natural’ organic hair-dye, which seems to have turned their hair a limp, ugly green.

Military Communiques
- Your unit has been given orders to embark on a field exercise in the mountains to the South-East at 1600 today. It doesn’t matter that this is only training, this time there will be no mistakes about which squadron reigns supreme. After all, do those other units have victory themes? You think not!

Personal Notes
- There’s a giant on the base! You saw him with your own eyes last night, while you were out practicing your tennis. He looked like a veritable cave-man, with club and all. However, you accidentally hit him with a tennis ball and he ran off before you could determine who he was or what he was doing.
- You’re really a little ashamed at how awful your hair looks right now. In fact, that’s part of the reason you’ve been practicing your tennis so far from the base. Of course, it’s all Stenda’s fault, and it’s the last time you take her advice on matters of grooming.
- The lip on that peasant of a Conventional, Dust, is really starting to get to you. Every time he opens his mouth, he’s besmirching the honour of the Special Forces. If that boyo’s not careful, he’s going to end up with a tennis racket upside the head.

Mini-Objective - Deliver the finishing blow to more enemy units than any of your allies in any upcoming battles.

Dust – Officer’s Report 2

Recent Duties: Like any good sniper, you’ve been spending your time recently getting the lay of the land, exploring the mountainous terrain that surrounds Front Base. Of course, you’ve tried to get the Boyos to come with you, but they’re too scared of the snakes and wild animals that might be lurking in the wilderness. Besides, they’re just happy that those obnoxious French folk are finally gone. Sadly, it looks like an even greater evil might have arrived in their place...

Troop Status
- Supplies: SIR Rifles, Republic Sabres, beer flagons and several kegs of Charlie Mops’ best beer.
- Morale: The Boyos are very happy that the French are finally gone, and that the English never showed up at all. They’re even happier that the European Union never even saw fit to fire on them in the last battle.
- Health: You don’t know about the Boyos, but you’re feeling a lot better now that you finally got yourself a proper, healthy meal. As for them, they tend to be more ‘meat and potatoes’ farm-boys. Well, mostly the potato part.

Military Communiques
- Your unit has been given orders to embark on a field exercise in the mountains to the South-East at 1600 today. You’re looking forward to getting out of the base, and hopefully away from all those Special Forces, as well as any musical entertainment…

Personal Notes
- To your great dismay, recently some kind of musical combo showed up at the base. You heard that they’re supposed to really swing, but so far you’ve seen no evidence of that. What have you seen is one of the most hideously ugly wannabe-teen-stars imaginable: Arch Hall Jr., who is apparently the band’s lead singer. Just looking at him makes you want to pistol-whip him!
- While out exploring the nearby mountain ranges, you happened upon something very strange. It was a cave in the mountainside, the inside of which was covered with what looked like prehistoric cave-drawings. Perhaps you’ve discovered the remnants of some ancient, tribal civilization!
- Given the cold mountain climate, you’re really quite surprised at how many snakes you’ve seen crawling about during your explorations. You’ll have to warn your Boyos and everyone else to be extra careful.
- Hah. That Special Forces otaku brat, Keigo, has done something really funny to her hair. Now it looks all green and limp and ugly. Though come to think of it, it still looks better than her personality, or the that of the rest of the Special Forces, of course.

Mini-Objective
- Find an excuse to pistol-whip Arch Hall Jr..
- Tell as many people as possible to watch out for snakes.

Balarai Snowe – Officer’s Report 1

Recent Duties: Word is out that some of the other military units at the base have had to do work recently. That’s not the case for you, though; you got out of it by taking your men into the mountains for an impromptu ski trip. Fortunately, most of them own skies as well as snowshoes. Or at least, they do now after stealing them from some of the other Auxiliary units.

Troop Status
- Supplies: Heavy Field Mortars, ratched-up winter parkas and snowshoes. All you need now is some hammers and people might mistake your men for the Ice Climbers.
- Morale: What could be even more inspiring than not doing work? Not much, as far as you’re concerned, and your men certainly agree that a ski trip is much better than being shot at.
- Health: It’s true you haven’t been doing any fighting, but a couple of the men are suffering from injuries when they crashed into unseen tree-trunks during their ski trip. Of course, those ones aren’t in nearly as bad shape as the ones who crashed into Fats Dynamo.

Military Communiques
- Your unit has been given orders to embark on a field exercise in the mountains to the South-East at 1600 today. Frankly, you think your troops have already gotten plenty of exercise, but maybe you can turn this exercise into a ski-trip as well.

Personal Notes - So far, you’re quite pleased that your men haven’t had to see any real danger. And in fact, you’d rather like to keep it that way. Those Special Forces leaders might like to think they can take your men for granted, but you’ve got no qualms about showing them that’s not the case.
- You’ve heard that that lawyer called Jag has already been busy prosecuting members of the Auxiliaries. While personally, you might feel a little safer with Fats Dynamo back behind bars, you’d rather not have the same happen to yourself.

Mini-Objective
- Take less damage than any of your allies in any upcoming battles.

Jenissa – Officer’s Report 7

Recent Duties: Yes, there’s no doubt that you are much too important to be running menial errands when there are officers much more suited to such a task. You had a much more important appointment with your bubble-bath. After all, you have to be looking your best for meeting these important politicians later today.

Troop Status
- Supplies: PK-33 Handguns, Combat Helms, Climbing spikes, Spotless set of Deluxe Uniforms. You no longer possess, of course, a European carry-all, given how you’re heard they’re so last-year.
- Morale: The Outfit is decidedly happier that they managed to get out of their menial escort duty. They’re starting to agree that maybe the rookies are good for something after all.
- Health: So far, your men are in good health, but there is some concern about the European beef that was served for lunch the previous day. Some of the men have been reading about out-breaks of mad cow, and are afraid about the meat’s origin. As such, a general ban on European beef is being imposed by your entire unit.

Military Communiques
- Your unit has been given orders to embark on a field exercise in the mountains to the South-East at 1600 today. Although you’d love to find an excuse to get out of this one as well, Varin has been watching you like a hawk ever since that last escort assignment.

Personal Notes
- Just recently, you’ve noticed some kind of band setting up to play at various locations around the base. You can only assume that they are to be the entertainment for the impending political visit.
- While you like to think of yourself as generous and forgiving, you have to say that that Atobe Keigo girl is a disgrace to the Special Forces, and with the impending inspection, this is unacceptable. That colored hair simply looks punkish and disgraceful, and her men are always watching this ‘anime’ stuff, which is only for geeks. Clearly, there can only be one response to this crisis: merciless ridicule. After all, young boys are cruel and give each other wedgies to enforce discipline. Girls, on the other hand, only tease each other until they develop eating disorders. It’s much more humane.

Mini-Objective
- Mercilessly mock Atobe Keigo and discredit everything she says.
- Put in a good impression with the visiting Republic politicians.

Zeke – Officer’s Report 6

Recent Duties: To some, it might seem like it’s been quite some time since you’ve been in the line of fire in service to the Republic. In fact, word is out in the camp that you’ve spent the last several days in some place called ‘Mexico.’ Of course, the reality is you’ve just spent those days in your tent, with the previously mentioned rumor being the one you told your troops to spread so that no one would bother you. After all, given your gruelling trip to Front Base, nobody has deserved some R&R more than you.

Troop Status
- Supplies: Hacksaw Shotguns, Combat Daggers, Combat Helms, full supplies of ammunition and rations. Sadly, Glenn Beck didn’t seem to have any supply of marijuana, since you could have then gotten him kicked off the base.
- Morale: You know that the Wheel is on a roll when it somehow manages to get military credits without you even being present. However, this morale is slightly dampened by the fear of being put behind bars, something that has supposedly already occurred.
- Health: Lately, your men have been feasting on prime European beef that was formerly being served in the mess tent. Apparently, some Special Forces babies were concerned about the meat being infected with mad cow, and insisted that alternate food be found. Your troops, of course, were more than happy to clean up the left-overs, as it were.

Military Communiques
- Your unit has been given orders to embark on a field exercise in the mountains to the South-East at 1600 today. However, you’re going to have a serious problem keeping your rather large unit in check if you don’t manage to resolve your current administration problems.

Personal Notes
- You have to say, staying hidden in your own tent and avoiding work is a lot tougher than you thought. You’ve been like Hitler in the bunker these past few days! Not that you really know who this Hitler fellow is, but you’ve heard good things about his chances for the annual ‘Man of the Year’ awards.
- After finally emerging from your tent, you discovered some good news. Your unit is now 1 military credit richer (it’s already on your sheet), allegedly thanks to getting paid some ‘protection money’ by a squadron of timid Denchulli Boyos. All’s fair in war, after all.
- However, the other news you discovered was rather disturbing. Apparently, your second-in-command, Desrae, has just recently been put behind bars by some military lawyer. While personally, you might feel a little safer without her around, with the recent manpower additions to your unit, you don’t think you can handle them without her. It’s not like you’ve got a moral problem with jail-breaks anyway.

Mini-Objective
- Spring Sgt. Desrae from wherever she’s being held.
- Tell as many people as possible how you’ve been “like Hitler in the bunker”.
- Watch out for snakes. (What? Who put this in your report??)


Adventure Summary

  • PCs assemble in the Mess Tent for the usual banter.
  • Jag complains about rumors of a giant, which Keigo claims to have seen.
  • Keigo is mocked for her hair and her ridiculous story.
  • Dust warns everyone to watch out for snakes.
  • A "swinging combo" begins setting up in the corner of the tent.
  • Arch Hall Jr., lead singer of the band, tries to cut into line but is pistol-whipped by Dust and served a fresh order of pain by Keigo.
  • All stand to attention as Commander Kilant makes a surprise visit.
  • Kilant informs our heroes of an impending inspection by high-ranking Senate members later that day.
  • Zeke speaks with Auxiliaries Cptn. Dolg, and enlists Fats Dynamo to tunnel under the cooler and break out Desrae.
  • Jag and McMason discover mysterious large footsteps on the edge of camp, as well as evidence of bass-playing.
  • Keigo cruelly uses unsuspecting Brock as a guinea-pig in order to devise a fix for her mens' hair.
  • Jag and McMason entice Arch Hall's combo to play some tunes, which summons their giant bass-player. Sadly, he panics and escapes into the mountains after laying low McMason with a heavy hit from his bass.
  • The PCs march out with their troops on their field exercise and encounter Arch Hall Jr. taking a picnic in his dune-buggy.
  • Our heroes stumble upon a small contingent of enemy Spheran soldiers setting up anti-aircraft rockets, presumably to shoot down the incoming politicians' planes.
  • Lady Draven, apparent leader of the Spheran group, makes her dramatic entrance.
  • A battle ensues, with our heroes destroying the AA guns in the nick of time, and the Spherans scattering to the mountain wilderness.
  • Our heroes return to base, and meet with the newly-arrived politicians in the command tent.
  • Senator Calamus is impressed by Jenissa's lineage and not so impressed by Dust's. Rich industrialist Mr. Roebles is impressed by Zeke's experience with the Delta Mark IV's.
  • Deksiilan "diplomat" Axen Dredd makes his attention-grabbing entrance and urges diplomatic peace-talks with the Spherans. He is, of course, summarily arrested.
  • One of the top politicians, Lady Lorinda, has not yet arrived: our heroes are asked to look into the matter.
  • It is discovered that Lorinda rode off with someone in a dune buggy. Our heroes think they know the culprit.
  • The heroes journey by commandeered helicopter to a cave indicated by Dust, where the kidnappers, Eegah, Arch Hall Jr., and his swingin' combo are waiting.
  • A fight follows, with Arch Hall being pistol-whipped into submission nearly immediately and devastating damage being done by the saxophone player.
  • Eegah and the band are finally defeated and the day belongs to our heroes.

  • Back to Res Publica

    1