War Games

Heroes: Jag, Zeke, Keigo, Pacci and Balarai Snowe
Enemies: Haunted tents, The Spheran House of Ursus, Gooch and JC, and five true trained warriors


Before this Adventure began, our heroes were presented with the first rating chart of the campaign, with bonus XP hanging in the balance. As such, it will be presented here so that anyone reading this report may also try their hand.

Fresh Blood

By this point, you’ve had a chance to see the leadership abilities of the Republic’s latest recruits in action. But will this fresh blood be enough to turn the crushing tide of the Spheran onslaught? Which of the Republic’s young new heroes are up to this task? It’s time to rate your fellow officers and their subordinates in terms of Battlefield Leadership Ability, with 1 being the best leader and 14 being the worst. Don’t take such duties lightly, for a 500 XP award awaits the most promising young leader out there…

Jag __ Dust __ Atobe Keigo __ Pacci __
Balarai Snowe __ Zeke __ McMason __ Dijon __
Stenda __ Fats Dynamo __ Desrae __ Funky __
Hermione __ Stone Cold Steve Austin __

Despite Jag being the clear favorite to win the chart, it instead went to the conniving cunning of Balarai Snowe, by the narrowest of margins.


Jag – Officer’s Dispatch 4

Recent Duties: Work has been a lot less hectic for you ever since you managed to put a stop to all those hazardous and illicit activities, though of course things still aren’t slack enough to allow you to enjoy a leisurely, non-business lunch. Nevertheless, for the first time since arriving at Front Base, you’ve had a little time to think about more recreational pursuits.

Troop Status - Supplies: PK-33 Handguns, Armored Flak Vests, Deluxe Laywers’ suits, briefcases full of legal documents.
- Morale: The rash of recent accidents and fatalities in the field have sent the Shark Pack into a legal feeding frenzy. In particular, Cellino and Barnes Jr. have vowed to squeeze the Flying Circus for everything they’re worth for the damages done to the unit.
- Health: Those few members of your squadron who have survived are in good health, and McMason has almost fully recovered from his encounter with a “swinging” bass. His camera, however, is another story.

Military Communiques
- The wires have been hot lately with gossip flying from Law Division HQ, concerning the Senatorial visit to the Republic Front Base. Certain pundits speculate that the primary purpose of the inspection was to hinder Commander Kilant and his Special Forces with all the bureaucracy and red tape that such a visit entails. Needless to say, top Special Forces lawyers are already preparing themselves for a scathing legal counter-attack.

Personal Notes
- As an avid motorcycle enthusiast, you’ve recently been hearing a lot about this sport called sidehacking. Apparently, it consists of racing around in motorcycles with oversized sidecars, and requires a substantial amount of teamwork. Such a fun recreational activity might be just the thing to relieve the stress of your busy legal work.
- Although most of the dangerous accidents have come to an end, there continues to be some amount of news on the base. Allegedly, various platoon tents have been burned and razed in the last couple days, and their contents pillaged. Due to her previous suspicious behavior, William Mattar suspects your fellow Special Forces officer, Lt. Atobe Keigo. However, such a scandal among the Special Forces could prove disastrous, and while no one is above the law, she still has the right to a proper defence, which it seems you may have to give.

Mini-Objective
- Find a way to try out this sidehacking you’ve been hearing about.
- Defend Atobe Keigo from Mattar’s allegations of arson and theft.

Balarai Snowe – Officer’s Report 3

Recent Duties: Despite your recent brush with dangerous wild animals, things have been pretty mellow in your camp. In fact, you’ve been using the time to throw some great parties and engage in some friendly recreational board games with your fellow Auxiliaries members.

Troop Status - Supplies: Heavy Field Mortars, ratched-up winter parkas and snowshoes, and a copy of Risk, the game of global domination. Carrying this board when a game is in progress presents no small amount of difficulties.
- Morale: At the moment, your troops are a little perturbed at their sergeant, Fats Dynamo. This is because Fats seems to have somehow acquired a supply of marijuana, and rather than distributing it to them, is instead selling it around the base. You, of course, have no problem with this, except you hope that lawyer doesn’t get wind of it.
- Health: Well, there’s no proof that marijuana damages your health, so there’s no proof that your men have any health problems at all.

Military Communiques
- Although it hasn’t been announced to the base at large, you just found out mere hours ago that you and your men are soon to be dispatched to the Stratholme region, to the west of Front Base.

Personal Notes
- As previously mentioned, it seems that Fats Dynamo has been selling illegal drugs around the base. He has apparently made good money, which you speculate could be used to purchase the dunebuggy that the squad has been talking about.
- There is outrage in the Auxiliaries camp! In the past few days, several squadrons have had their camps raided, their supplies pillaged and their tents burned to the ground. The Avalanche has so far been spared from the surprise attacks, but it may only be a matter of time.
- You were up until all hours last night engaged in a game of Risk, the game of global domination, with your fellow officer Lt. Zeke. With your brilliant tactical mind, you were definitely in the driver’s seat, having reduced him to one last stronghold in the Ukraine and a smattering of outlying territories. Sadly, you’d forgotten just how long the game was, and were forced to put it on hold for the day’s lunch – but you’ve got no intention of letting him out of your trap!

Mini-Objective
- Finish your game of Risk against Zeke by crushing him once and for all.

Zeke – Officer’s Report 8

Recent Duties: With Beck gone, you quite literally feel like a new man. In fact, to celebrate, you threw a friendly all-night beer party with all your fellow Auxiliaries invited. All in all, it was a great evening, aside from perhaps a rather ill-thought out agreement to play certain fellow officers in a friendly board game.

Troop Status
- Supplies: Hacksaw Shotguns, Combat Daggers, Combat Helms, and no tent. Someone seems to have burned it down, along with most of your supplies, possibly in the confusion of your party last night.
- Morale: It’s harder to imagine a greater morale booster than the thought of Glenn Beck behind bars. It more than makes up for the loss of your tent and supplies, since hopefully with a new supply officer, it’ll be easier to get such goods back.
- Health: Given how cold it can get in the mountains, you’re slightly concerned about your men having to sleep in the open air. Besides, that tent was like your bunker! Clearly, this situation must be rectified.

Military Communiques
- As usual, Auxiliaries command lines are in general chaos. However, there are rumors that some Auxiliaries units have been on the move in your general area without authorization. You’ve seen this kind of situation before, and quite frankly, weren’t too fond of the results. You rather hope that history isn’t going to be repeating itself...

Personal Notes
- Both you and your men are rather upset by the burning of your tent, although it still hasn’t dampened your elation at Glenn Beck’s arrest. You might be willing to attribute the event to a mere accident of drunken revelry, except for the fact that you’ve heard several other Auxiliary units have recently suffered similar events. There have been reports of such surprise raids all over the base, but as of yet, no one has been able to catch the culprit or culprits.
- Last night, you made the mistake of starting a game of Risk, the game of global domination, against your fellow Auxiliaries lieutenant, Balarai Snowe. By the end of the night, he was winning rather soundly, having reduced you to a single major stronghold in the Ukraine. You of course blame it all on a few bad rolls of yours. Fortunately, you didn’t have time to finish the game, and you intend to keep it that way.

Mini-Objective - Acquire a new tent for your men. - Find a way to avoid finishing your game of Risk with Balarai Snowe.

Atobe Keigo – Officer’s Report 3

Recent Duties: As usual, you have not been in a good mood lately. In fact, most of your time has been spent hiking through the mountains back to the base from Eegah’s cave. Sure, you were the one who suggested that someone had to watch over the kidnappers, but you didn’t expect the others to take that as an excuse to maroon you out there!

Troop Status
- Supplies: Republic Sabres, Deluxe uniforms and a large supply of snow balls. You collected these latter items on your hike back from Eegah’s cave. They could be useful to bat at your men, or anyone else who ticks you off. - Morale: Morale is running low among your men. And outrageously, the cause is not your own abandonment, but rather the fact that some lawyer has been threatening legal action against both them and you. Admittedly, this is a worrisome issue, and one you intend to resolve.
- Health: Your men are in good health, but Stenda is not. She claims that the ‘toxic’ chemicals in the gigantic amounts of hairspray that was recently released in your tent is making her rather ill. Even you have to admit that the hairspray odor in the tent is rather strong, but it’s one you enjoy anyway.

Military Communiques
- You’ve been keeping your ear open for any situation for which you could volunteer and once more prove your worth and your honour in battle. And rumor has it that the city of Stratholme, to the west of Front Base, is under serious threat from the Spherans. You’ve heard that this Stratholme place is a major oil mining centre, and thus of significant strategic importance to both sides. What’s more, if there’s one thing you know about oil, it’s that it is FLAMMABLE…

Personal Notes
- Lately, Front Base has been rife with reports of squadron tents being burned and their supplies pillaged. These sudden, violent raids come without warning or pattern, with so far no real sightings of the perpetrators. Whoever they are, they must truly be trained warriors. Unfortunately, however, it seems that you are a major suspect behind these attacks. In particular, an injury lawyer named William Mattar has been on your case, and has vowed to put you behind bars. While you secretly can’t deny being subject to certain arsonistic tendencies in the past, this time you know you’re innocent, and you intend to clear your name!

Mini-Objective
- Prove your innocence in the matter of the burned tents, and unmask the true perpetrator(s).

Pacci – Officer’s Report 2

Recent Duties: The Pac is back, as are, no doubt, numerous bad puns and rhymes concerning their name. Things have actually been pretty quiet for you and your men recently, with the obvious exception of Steven, whose loud thrash music can never really be called quiet. In fact, it’s really been a little too quiet for your liking, especially since you have yet to find a Pacman machine to occupy your time.

Troop Status
- Supplies: PK-33 Handguns, Bright Yellow Deluxe Uniforms, plenty of fruit and pretzels, and a fashionable European carry-all. This latter item has really been very useful for keeping your pretzels from getting soggy.
- Morale: Like you, the Pac is a little concerned about how little action they’ve seen recently. After all, they came all the way up to the Base to be helpful, and they’re a bit worried that they haven’t been able to do their job.
- Health: The Pac is in full health, although they have managed to eat through most of the food supplies in their tent. Yet another reason why you’ve really got to get out to a new ‘level.’.

Military Communiques
- You still haven’t received any word from Conventionals high command. As far as you’re concerned, this is just more reason to be worried that they might have forgotten all about you! You’ll have to make sure to be extra helpful so that your efforts are noticed in the next little while.

Personal Notes
- It’s just your luck. No sooner do you acquire one of those European handbags when everyone starts telling you how ‘last-year’ they are. Now, you’ve been in your tent waiting for orders for a while, but you’re pretty sure it was nowhere close to a year. Oh well, you’ve always been about retro fashion anyway.
- You’ve been hearing disturbing rumors about several units’ tents being raided and burned to the ground. Fortunately, with your own men on guard this whole time, it has yet to happen to you, but it makes you worried nonetheless. Your big, bright yellow tent is such an easy-to-see target, after all!
- Given your extended absence from the action, you’ve become rather worried that people might be overlooking you. You don’t want to feel left out, so you’ll have to be especially helpful so people will realize what a useful and incredibly cool guy you are.

Mini-Objective
- Be as agreeable and helpful to everyone as you possibly can, and;
- Along that line, use the phrase “I will” as much as humanly possible, to a near-incredibly annoying degree.


Adventure Summary

  • Officers proceed to the mess hall for their usual lunch. Pacci is present and rather worriedly and confusedly asks what had been going on.
  • Banter erupts between Snowe and Zeke over Risk. Balarai states his plans to seize the Ukraine, which Zeke declares is "strong like bull."
  • Numerous people accuse Keigo of the recent tent-burnings. These people include the suddenly-arrived William Mattar, injury lawyer, who vows to bring her to justice.
  • Before lunch can conclude, a red alert is sounded and all troops are told to assemble in the Deployment Zone.
  • Our heroes are briefed by SF Maj. Xelme of an impending Spheran attack on the key city of Stratholme. Our heroes are first being dispatched to bring supplies to an Auxiliaries mountain division in the region, and then coming into Stratholme from the rear.
  • Our heroes are resupplied by the new Acquisitions Officer, Mahmood. Mahmood has found several items that Beck had not bothered to open, and (supposedly) a ghost in the back of the supply tent. He gives Zeke a new tent, but warns him it is haunted.
  • The troops march out through the mountains, with Snowe trying to cajole Zeke into playing the Risk game as they walk.
  • The heroes arrive at the ford of a moment river, where Auxiliaries Captain Rodric is waiting for them. They have arrived in the nick of time - Rodric's lieutenant, Yuri, has been ambushed by Spheran forces out in the mountains. Republic reinforcements are on the way, but the river ford must be held for them to arrive. The Pac, Seishun Gakuen and the Shark Pack are dispatched to rescue Yuri, while the Wheel, the Avalanche and Rodric's 'The Horde' stay to defend the ford.
  • A grizzly battle ensues against the Spheran House of Ursus, led by the raging Grizzlor and the booze-swilling, flame-throwing Pandaro. In the end, Yuri and his unit 'the Ukraine' is rescued and the ford is held, but Snowe's Avalanche is severely decimated by Spheran fire.
  • Conventionals Major Rommel, the 'Desert Fox,' drives in on a sidehack, leading the Republic reinforcements and driving away the Spherans.
  • Jag attempts to persuade Rommel to let him give sidehacking a try, but Rommel only laughs annoyingly and says no. Jag gets his way only by threatening legal action against Rommel for not wearing a helmet.
  • Zeke sets up his 'haunted' tent. Pacci is so amazed that he repeatedly pays the hefty 10-mark admission fee to go in and look for ghosts.
  • Yuri's Ukrainians discover that someone has burned their tent in their absence. Snowe offers to share his own, if Yuri goes to the work of setting it up.
  • Keigo and Jag 'borrow' Pacci's bright yellow tent and set it up in isolation down by the river, hoping to catch the violent tent-raiders red-handed.
  • While watching the tent from the bushes, the two are discovered by William Mattar, who accuses them of trying to sneak up on the unprotected tent.
  • Meanwhile, Snowe drags Zeke back to his tent to finish the Risk game. However, Yuri is not amused when he hears the declarations that 'the Ukraine will soon fall,' and destroys the board in a fit of patriotic rage.
  • Rodric calls a meeting, announcing the presence of an unidentified military force nearby. It is decided they must be investigated to see if they prove a threat. Zeke and Snowe are selected for the assignment.
  • The two sneak into the unidentified camp, which seems to consist of mostly Auxiliaries like themselves. After hearing some very bad jokes, Zeke meets up with the troops' leader, JC. After declaring 'Sleke' to be like his brother, a lengthy and needless dialogue ensues in which JC convinces Zeke to 'bring him Rommel' in exchange for the bribe of a motorbike. To assist him in this task, he sends his top man, Gooch, back with Zeke, and gives Zeke a farewell punch to the face.
  • Zeke, Snowe and Gooch return to the camp, after more repetitive and annoying dialogue. Night falls, and the troops retire for the night.
  • Keigo and McMason remain on watch and spot five ominous figures paddling up the river in a canoe. They emerge with paddles and torches in hand and descend on the Pac's tent.
  • The raiders are none other than THE JUTES, and this time there's five of them. They're out to burn the Republic army's "forts" and thus obtain 'Victory Points' for themselves. McMason and Keigo engage, fighting with camera and flame-throwing tennis-racket respectively, but the Jutes are trained warriors and Keigo goes down. The other heroes arrive on the scene, however, and beat the Jutes into a hasty retreat back to their canoe, where they ominously hum their own theme song as they leave...

  • Major Characters this Session

    Mahmood
    Race: Indian...?
    Rank: Captain
    Affiliation: Electran Acquisitions Division

    Mahmood is the new chief Supply Officer at the Republic Front Base, having been promoted to fill the shoes of Glenn Beck, who was recently arrested on drug trafficking charges. Compared to his predecessor, Mahmood seems infinitely more pleasant to deal with, but that statement really doesn't say much. He carries a calculus textbook under his arm at all times, and has often been known to exclaim that 'partial supplies' are all that anyone will be getting. What's more, he claims that his own supply tent is haunted, possibly by the ghosts of former supply officers. If this is true, then the surliness of these ghosts is indeed something to be feared.

    Rodric
    Race: Spheran
    Rank: Captain
    Affiliation: Electran Auxiliaries

    Auxiliaries soldiers are generally either dissheveled, rowdy and drunken, or dissheveled, grizzled and dangerous. Captain Rodric most likely falls in the latter of these two categories. His hair is coarse, shaggy and uncut, as are his ragged sideburns. Golden eyes flash ferally when in the dark, and he wears a rugged, wolfskin cloak over his shoulders. Rodric is an Auxiliaries Captain out on mountaineering duty when our heroes first encountered him, near the embattled city of Stratholme. Both he and his veteran unit, 'the Horde,' come across as hard men not to be taken lightly.

    Yuri
    Race: Ukrainian
    Rank: Lieutenant
    Affiliation: Electran Auxiliaries

    Yuri would no doubt be outraged at having his description put up on something as trivial as a web page. Because the web is almost like a game, and his description is not game!! Yuri was a big, Ukrainian giant of a man, and Rodric's second-in-command at his mountain camp. His only real characteristic is his patriotic love for his homeland, which to him, was certainly no game at all.

    Pandaro
    Race: Spheran
    Rank: Battle-Knight
    Affiliation: Spheran Coalition, House of Ursus

    Pandaro is perhaps not quite what one would expect for a knight of the Spheran Coalition. Dressed in a black and white kung fu jacket with a triangular chinese hat, his most noteworthy accessory is the large wooden barrel of ale he carries under one arm. Of course, it turns out that as well as being great for morale, this beverage is highly flammable, thus making a formidable weapon against the enemies of the House of Ursus. One may rest assured that wherever Pandaro goes, PANDAMONIUM is sure to follow.

    Grizzlor
    Race: Spheran
    Rank: Battle-Knight
    Affiliation: Spheran Coalition, House of Ursus

    Raaarrghhh! The mighty GRIZZLOR's intelligence was about on the same level as his personality - that is to say, both were next to non-existant. An enormous bear of a man clad in shaggy bear skins and wearing bear-claws on his hands, Grizzlor was always more than eager to maul anything or anyone that got in his way. Like a wild beast, Grizzlor seemed brutish, predictable and easily angered, as his battlefield tactics showed all too well.

    Rommel, the Desert Fox
    Race: Electran
    Rank: Major
    Affiliation: Electran Conventionals

    As befits a Conventionals officer, Major Rommel wore all blue and a huge General's hat, but that's where the appropriateness stopped. His 'uniform', such as it was, seemed to consist of a blue mechanic's jumpsuit, open way too much at the front, and more importantly, the ridiculous 'sidehack' motorcycle that he was always riding. This so-called sidehack was little more than a normal motorcycle with an oversized sidecar, which supposedly requires 'teamwork' to use. Rommel's other main characteristic was his tendency to laugh annoyingly in people's faces while denying requests, a quality that surely would not endear him to any brotherly figures.

    Hilda
    Race: Electran
    Rank: Lieutenant
    Affiliation: Electran Acquisitions

    Lieutenant Hilda is allegedly both Rommel's second-in-command and his fiance. A rather generic woman in a bright white uniform, her only distinguishing feature was her incredibly fake-looking blonde hair. Her personality was no less vacuous and no more interesting. In fact, it seemed unlikely that her appearance in the campaign would last much longer than the popularity of her hairstyle.

    JC
    Race: Deksiilan
    Rank: Captain
    Affiliation: Electran Auxiliaries (?)

    JC was the rather eccentric leader of a mysterious, unauthorized Auxiliaries troop at large in the Stratholme region. He was 'impressively' decked out in a silver polyester jacket with his own initials on the back, a big pair of sunglasses, and a cheesy gold medallion. He was also quite the motorcycle enthusiast, and may potentially have raced professionally in the past. For now, though, his major motive seems simply to "get Rommel," through any means necessary. Even if that means stooping to such measures as unexpectedly punching his own men in the face.

    Gooch (Cooch?)
    Race: Deksiilan
    Rank: Sergeant
    Affiliation: Electran Auxiliaries (?)

    There isn't too much to say about Gooch, other than that I will write his description. In fact, I will write it. I will write right now. I have to make it look good. And I will. I will make it look good. I will even say that Gooch was allegedly JC's most trusted officer, despite of his inability to pronounce his name. I will also say that Gooch was dispatched with Zeke to bring Rommel back to JC. I will not say, however, what the outcome of this arc of events will be.



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