Finger Lickin' Good

Heroes: Jag, Zeke, Keigo, Pacci and Balarai Snowe
Enemies: Mysterious Ghosts, The Spheran House of Ursus, and the Dragon of Sphere


Jag – Officer’s Dispatch 5

Recent Duties: You just arrived in this new city last night, and have barely had the time to get the lay of the landscape. Legal landscape, that is. It doesn’t seem like they’ve had a professional lawyer around, so you’re not sure that this ‘Colonel’ is running a clean operation. Given the corruption you found at Front Base prior to your arrival, you tend to doubt it.

Troop Status
- Supplies: PK-33 Handguns, Armored Flak Vests, Deluxe Laywers’ suits, briefcases full of legal documents. Sadly, this inventory does not include a sidehack. Those things take amazing teamwork!
- Morale: Your men are in unusually good spirits. This seems to be because they’ve found that the Colonel’s KFC makes a great, fast lunch in a stressful lawyer’s day. This makes you more than a little suspicious: nothing that good can be healthy for you!
- Health: You’ve only been here a day, and you could already swear your lawyers are gaining weight from all that chicken. Not that physical conditioning has ever been a major concern of yours, but those suits of theirs have been custom-fitted and you don’t want to buy new ones.

Military Communiques
- Recently, you’ve been making all sorts of calls trying to find out if this Colonel or his chicken can be trusted. Apparently, no one you’ve talked to has ever seen the enigmatic Colonel, but he is supposed to be a master of strategy. You can’t help but wonder though if this ‘strategy’ includes addicting your men to his food.

Personal Notes
- The Colonel’s fried chicken has been spreading like wildfire around the base. Frankly, the secrecy surrounding its 11 secret herbs and spices recipe has you a little concerned. It’s almost as if some addictive element is being added to the food. You’ve check out the first 10 of these ingredients in an online legal database, but the 11th has thus far eluded you. You don’t intend to let this situation continue.
- You haven’t seen any evidence of his battle-tactics yet, but there’s no doubt that the Colonel is a master of marketing strategy. You’ve heard that he’s already enlisted several sports celebrities to endorse his chicken, partially accounting for its widespread popularity.
- Those Auxiliaries absolutely disgust you. Not only are they lazy and uneduated, but they litter too. While walking through the Avalanche’s camp, you noticed several red-and-white cardboard buckets tossed in the gutter. There’s just no excuse for that kind of public sloppiness!

Mini-Objective
- Discover the 11th secret ingredient in the KFC recipe.

Balarai Snowe – Officer’s Report 4

Recent Duties: Despite the warmth and comfort of your unit’s winter parkas, you’re rather glad to be out of the dangerous wilderness and back to civilization. You’re rather looking forward to all the amenities that a big city has to offer, as well as a chance to let the troops stationed here do some (or preferably all) of the fighting for you.

Troop Status
- Supplies: Heavy Field Mortars, 2 Remote Mines, ratched-up winter parkas and snowshoes, and a broken copy of Risk, the game of global domination.
- Morale: Lately, you’ve had the opportunity to spend some great, quality time with your men. Sadly, it doesn’t seem to have helped their morale as much as you’d think. In fact, there’s even been talk of deserting and joining up with the rogues led by JC. At the moment, they’d much rather face court-marshal by the Republic than those Spheran bears again.
- Health: The one pro to your slaughter at the Spherans’ hands is that now you’ve got plenty of food and supplies. Sadly, military rations taste eerily similar to sawdust. You could really go for some real food right about now.

Military Communiques
- You’ve heard that the main Spheran attack force is drawing closer and closer to Stratholme, and that an attack is imminent. At least this time, you’ve got city walls to hide behind, and you certainly have no intention of stepping outside of them.
- You’re not quite sure what to make of JC and his men. It seemed like they wanted to prevent Rommel and his men from reaching the city, but now they’ve done so, there aren’t enough of the rogue Auxiliaries to pose a threat to the city.

Personal Notes
- A few days out in the wilderness with nothing but military trail rations has made you realize that the food at Front Base wasn’t half bad. You’ve got a hankering for some real food; and it doesn’t get more real than the Colonel’s KFC. It’s a finger lickin’ good meal and you intend to partake of it.
- This Stratholme place has some very interesting businesses. You were taking a stroll through town when you noticed a ratched-up poster on a lamp-post advertising “the Real Ghostbusters.” No case is too small for them. Personally, though, you think that some big bear hunters would be a lot more useful to the town right now than these guys ever could be.

Mini-Objective
- Obtain and consume some of the Colonel’s KFC.

Sleke – Officer’s Report 9

Recent Duties: You can’t believe it. First that JC maniac, and now even the GM is getting your name wrong! How many times do you have to tell them that it’s ‘Zeke,’ sir! Oh well, at least you got a new motorbike out of the deal. Now if only you knew how to actually ride the thing.

Troop Status
- Supplies: Hacksaw Shotguns, Combat Daggers, Combat Helms, a shiny new motorbike, and a ‘haunted’ tent. This latter item has been a surprisingly good source of income for you and your men.
- Morale: The stories of the ‘ghost’ in your tent have been so convincing that some of your own men are even a little shaken by them. Of course, that’s fine as far as you’re concerned – such conviction is good for business.
- Health: Your troops are in pretty darn good health, when one considers the state of most of Snowe’s men. Still, some of them are a little worried about the state of their health given the impending attack on the city. JC’s camp is really looking a lot safer, all of a sudden.

Military Communiques
- You’ve got some military transmissions alright, but not from Auxiliaries command. After several moments of raving about how he’s treated you like a brother, JC instructed you to “get rid” of Rommel’s girlfriend, Lt. Hilda. Of course, you have no intention of going through with this, but it’s a disturbing order none the less.

Personal Notes
- That haunted tent you got from Mahmood has been the best investment you’ve ever made. You especially love investments that cost you nothing, after all. And since talk is equally cheap, you fully intend to talk this thing up as much as you can. However, while you surely don’t believe in such superstitions yourself, some of your men have reported finding some sticky, ghostly ‘ectoplasm’ in the tent this morning…
- One of your men is rather excited about the presence in the city of famous basketball star Kareem Abdul Jibbar. Given Captain Meecham’s presence, it comes as no surprise to you that Kareem is here as well. Of course he’s not too fond of being recognized, so it might be better not to make a big deal of it.

Mini-Objective
- Talk up your so-called haunted tent as much as possible.

Atobe Keigo – Officer’s Report 4

Recent Duties: Hah. Although some of your fellow officers have been whining like babies about their recent losses, you’ve proved that those Spherans are no match for you. And while you and your men still stand, there’s no way they’re taking over this city you’ve arrived at either. If those vile foreigners so much as show their faces, those bears will find out that attacking the Republic is no picnic in the woods.

Troop Status
- Supplies: Republic Sabres, Deluxe uniforms and food rations consisting exclusively of so-called ‘health’ food.
- Morale: Now that your name has been cleared of those ridiculous arson charges, your troops are in high morale. Some of them are even excited that the Spherans are supposed to have drakkhaans with them, mythological creatures that show up in their mangas.
- Health: This is the last time you let Stenda pack your food supplies. All she brought with you was this awful ‘health food,’ and after several days of eating nothing else, you feel starved and emaciated. You need real food, and you need it now.

Military Communiques
- Republic High Command is worried that the Spheran goal in capturing Stratholme is the city’s oil supply. You’ve heard since arriving at the city that a caravan is being prepared to get all available oil reserves out of town, but it seems unlikely it will be ready before the Spheran advance troops arrive. Not that it will matter, since the city will not fall while Seigaku stands!

Personal Notes
- You have no intention of letting the city of Stratholme fall, but one thing’s for sure – you can’t do it on an empty stomach. And a stomach filled with nothing but health food is nothing but just that. The Colonel’s fried chicken, on the other hand, is a meal you could really go for right now. With its 11 secret herbs and spices, it’s sure to give you the strength you need to beat back the Spherans.
- On another note, this Captain Rodric they sent you to link up with is nothing but a barbaric foreigner. What’s more, he seems to think that he can order you around too. Now just who does he think he is? Well technically he may outrank you, there’s no way that a money-grubbing mercenary has any rights over a pure-born soldier of Electra like yourself.
- You don’t believe in superstition of course, but some of your men have claimed to see an eerie glow coming from the Wheel’s tent in the darkness of the night. Surely the place can’t really be haunted, but then again…?

Mini-Objective
- Obtain and consume some of the Colonel’s KFC.
- Lip off to Auxiliaries Captain Rodric as often as possible.

Pacci – Officer’s Report 3

Recent Duties: Although the imminent attack on the city would normally be a pressing concern, you just can’t get your mind off of Zeke and the Wheel’s haunted tent. There just has to be some kind of ghost in there, and the Pac is more than aware of the fact that ghosts are more dangerous than the Spherans any day.

Troop Status
- Supplies: PK-33 Handguns, Bright Yellow Deluxe Uniforms, plenty of fruit and pretzels, and a fashionable European carry-all. This latter item has really been very useful for keeping your pretzels from getting soggy.
- Morale: Your men are both frightened and intrigued by the prospect of a ghost haunting haunting Zeke’s tent. Some of them are too afraid to go outside without a Power Pellet, and sadly those seem to be short supply. Clearly, this matter has to be resolved before your troops will be ready for action.
- Health: The Pac is in good health, since they prefer snacking on wholesome fruit rather than greasy fried chicken like many of those at the camp.

Military Communiques
- You’ve been hearing some news recently about the two Conventionals officers that are in charge here at Stratholme. Supposedly, the enigmatic ‘Colonel’ is reputed as one of the Conventionals’ finest strategists, despite having achieved his rank in the Republic Kitchen Division. What’s more, no one you’ve talked to has ever seen the Colonel in person.
- Major Rommel, on the other hand, is known throughout the Conventionals as the ‘Desert Fox.’ He’s renowned for his revolutionary book on ‘Sidehack Warfare,’ which explains how to use the unusual motorcycles as effective war machines.

Personal Notes
- Zeke’s haunted tent continues to grow more and more mysterious. The last time you were there, you could swear that some of those boxes in there were rattling with a will of their own. And out of the corner of your eye, you were sure you saw a ghostly figure lurking in the dark. One thing’s for sure, you intend to solve this mystery once and for all.
- People all over the base seem to be obsessed with the Colonel’s fried chicken. As previously mentioned, most of your men prefer your healthy fruit and pretzels, but as to be expected, there's one rebel in the crowd: Stone Cold Steve Austin. In fact, you saw him wolfing down a bucket of said chicken just last night. You wouldn’t mind so much if he wasn’t leaving greasy handprints all over your tent as a result.

Mini-Objective
- Solve the mystery of the Ghost of the Haunted Tent.


Adventure Summary

  • The PCs, Rodric and Rommel debate Snowe and Zeke's report of JC and his men. Although Rommel is eager for a confrontation, it is decided the Republic troops cannot afford to be trapped between the Spherans and the Rogue Auxiliaries, and that they will take the somewhat longer path to Stratholme to avoid the potential trap.
  • The troops arrive at Stratholme and are met at the gates by the eccentric Kal Meecham, who demands to know how the 'extra-terrestrials' gained the ability to contact him through the ordinary window in the door.
  • The troops are led to the city's central Army Camp, where a rotating red-and-white striped bucket with a bearded man's face painted on it looms over them. They learn that a Conventionals officer known only as 'The Colonel' is in charge at Stratholme.
  • An officer eating from a bucket of chicken resupplies the PCs with troops and equipment before they retire for the night.
  • The heroes are awakened in the morning by the sound of gunfire. Desrae has caught Gooch trying to sneak out of camp and suggests his execution. Zeke seems rather favorable to the idea, but both Jag and Snowe object, maintaining that Gooch was likely only trying to use the bathroom, or afraid of the Haunted Tent.
  • The heroes proceed to the mess tent, where Rodric is finishing off the last bucket of the Colonel's chicken. Apparently, you've got to get up very early to get that chicken.
  • Zeke organizes his men to draw Haunted Tent advertisements on the KFC buckets for the next day.
  • Jag makes a visit to the Colonel's tent, but is refused entry by the officers on guard. Apparently, the tent is the only place on the base where the Colonel's patented KFC is produced.
  • Keigo and Snowe convince Gooch to go and find them chicken, which he declares that "he will." This plan is surely destined for success...
  • Pacci once again pays the entrance fee to the Haunted Tent, and is intrigued by the 'ectoplasm' that he finds. Zeke's men find it to taste rather like maple syrup, and Zeke begins collecting the stuff to sell as souvenirs.
  • Jag, Keigo and Snowe employ Fats Dynamo to tunnel into the Colonel's tent. There is no sign of any chicken, but Jag discovers that the 11th secret ingredient of the chicken is All-natural Soy Protein.
  • Snowe suggests that Pacci call the Real Ghostbusters to solve the mystery of Zeke's tent.
  • The Real Ghostbusters arrive in their car, Ecto-1, with much fanfare and hand-waving from the city crowds. Following their Spectral-Graphic analzyer, they gain entrance to Zeke's tent by agreeing to let him advertise on the 'white space' on the side of their car and unmask the 'ghost' from a glowing green box, revealing it to be none other than Kal Meecham, who claims to be working on his top secret Waffle Project.
  • Keigo and Snowe journey to the Republic Airfield, in search of Meecham's co-pilot, Roger Murdoch, aka basketball star Kareem Abdul Jibbar. They discover the sports celebrity with many buckets of the chicken, espousing how they won't be disapointed when they try it. With Zeke's help, they threaten to 'expose' his real identity and obtain several buckets of promotional chicken.
  • This snack is obtained just in time, for warning sirens begin wailing and the troops receive emergency orders to report to the North Wall - which, after a brief authority dispute between Lt. Keigo and Cptn. Rodric, they do.
  • The Spheran onslaught begins led by Pandaro and Grizzlor, and with the help of Rodric's Horde, Rommel's Sidehackers and airstrikes from Kal Meecham, our heroes beat back the first enemy wave.
  • 'Reinforcements' arrive in the form of several buckets of morale-boosting KFC, courtesy of the Colonel.
  • The Demolition Engineers of the second Spheran wave are defeated in the nick of time as they arrive at the city gates.
  • Three gigantic drakkhaan appear in the sky, one of which is ridden by none other than the Dragon of Sphere himself. The drakkhaan decimate the Republic troops atop the wall, who begin fleeing in panic.
  • Lightning flashes from a nearby tower, where Rodric seems to be challenging the Dragon. The Spheran leader swoops in and is knocked from his mount by the flag-pole's draw-rope, and a furious duel between the two begins.
  • Our heroes' view of the fight is interrupted by the sudden collapse of the North Wall due to a massive explosion. With the Spheran bears at the gates and 2 drakkhaan still attacking from the sky, our heroes are forced into a valiant retreat, allowing the enemy to come pouring into the city...

  • Major Characters this Session

    Colonel Sanders
    Race: ??
    Rank: Colonel
    Affiliation: Electran Conventionals

    While it's rumored that nobody has ever seen the enigmatic Colonel personally, almost everyone has seen his face. That's because it's all over his patented red-and-white striped buckets of KFC, seasoned with his own secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices. It is said that the Colonel came up through the ranks in the Republic Kitchen Division, and there's no doubt that the man makes a strong bird. What's more, he's also rumored to be a master of strategy in all its forms. Surely, with the ghostly head of the Colonel looming over them, victory is all but certain for the brave soldiers of the Republic.

    Peter Venckman
    Race: Electran
    Rank: Civilian
    Affiliation: The Real Ghostbusters

    Peter Venckman is the leader of a trio of supernatural investigators who call themselves the Ghostbusters. He usually wears a brown workman's jumpsuit with the classic Ghostbusters' logo on the sleeve. Venckman is eminently qualified for his position of authority among the Ghostbusters, being highly educated with a PhD in Psychology. However, there are those who might question the good doctor's experimental methodology, especially when it comes to his experiments dealing with the psychic arts.

    Ray Stantz
    Race: Electran
    Rank: Civilian
    Affiliation: The Real Ghostbusters

    Ray is the good-natured, overly-enthusiastic member of the Real Ghostbusters. He wears a beige jumpsuit, a set of spectral vision goggles, and is always ready to throw out a trap or two at a moment's notice. He's also just a bit on the pudgy side, and can never be seen without a bag of Stay-Puft marshmellows at his side.

    Igon Standler
    Race: Electran
    Rank: Civilian
    Affiliation: The Real Ghostbusters

    Igon makes up the third and final member of the Real Ghostbusters, and by all accounts seems to be the scientific brains of the operation. His jumpsuit is a light blue, and he has both a huge pair of dorky glasses and a Spectral-Graphic analyzer, which he seems to try and use at every opportunity. It's also rumored that Igon might possess a Computer Science degree and a keen interest in graph theory and computational geometry, but from whence these rumors stem, nobody knows.



    Back to Res Publica

    1