Jag – Officer’s Dispatch 18
Heroes: Jag, Atobe Keigo, Dust, Jean Reno, Lord FLASH, and Balarai Snowe
Enemies: The Red Wings Hockey Team, Donald Duck, Team Wario and Arch Hall Jr.
Recent Duties: As per usual, you’re up to your eyebrows in work, and you don’t appreciate being dispatched on patrol missions that could just as easily go to a less busy unit. Of course, part of your disgruntlement could have to do with Mattar’s recent boom in business, as a good number of the villagers have approached him to sue the owner of those jeeps for injury to their relatives and their town. Their misfortune is his gain.
Troop Status
Supplies: Schmitzer SMGs, Armored Flak Vests, Deluxe Laywers’ suits, Field Medkit, Healing Syringes and briefcases full of legal documents.
Morale: Some of your men – in particular, your more, err, ‘recent’ recruits – have been getting quite excited about the upcoming National Games. Unfortunately, you can’t say you necessarily approve of the manner in which they’ve been expressing this excitement. But as they say, you gotta support the team, after all.
Health: Your busy lawyers are quite fed up with all the military assignments and training they’ve been having to do. They fail to see how running laps can in any way help them on the bar. It’s been all you can do lately to get them away from their desks for even a minute.
The Shark Pack is at –10 to Training Checks for this Adventure.
Military Communiques
Well, it’s official: another Deksiilan ‘emissary’ is slated to arrive in the city today. His flight comes in at 1100 hours, and you’ve been asked by Law Division to meet this man and deal with his concerns. Although this emissary is apparently a legal professional, you can’t say you have much respect for his credentials. His name is Steven J. Wilson, and he supposedly works out of his own garage, which is a poor excuse for an office in your opinion.
Your legal duties only seem to be on the rise. In addition to meeting with this garage lawyer, you’ve been asked by Special Forces Commander Kilant to meet with him in his office tonight at 1700 hours. You suspect this meeting is in regard to the military court-martial that the Senate is filing against him.
Personal Notes
The upcoming National Games are causing quite a stir, and even the army is getting caught up in the excitement. As well as planning to submit a team of their own, you’ve heard that some of your fellow officers are even hosting some of the athletes. In particular, Lt. Atobe Keigo has a marathon runner named Jean-Paul staying with her. From what you understand, he’s considered one of the planet’s top runners, but he missed competing in his last big competition due to sleeping in! That’s a terribly disorganized thing to happen, and you don’t intend to see a repeat here.
There is quite a bit of commotion in the Electra City Law Enforcement community. Apparently, a dangerous master criminal by the name of Mysterio has just escaped from prison and is on the loose. McMason has informed you that the whole police department is out looking for him, but given his status as a master of illusion, the hunt could prove a tough one.
Mini-Objective
Attend to all of your legal duties, while at the same time...
Make sure that Jean-Paul makes it to his race on time. Knowing that temperamental Keigo, she’s more liable to burn up her timepieces than know how to use them.
Balarai Snowe – Officer’s Report 17
Recent Duties: You have to say that the song is right – downtown is definitely the place to be. It’s certainly preferable to fighting armored jeeps out in the boonies anyway. And you intend to keep both you and your men away from such action for as long as possible, by engaging in other ‘important’ activities.
Troop Status
Supplies: Heavy Field Mortars, 2 Remote Mines, Gortex winter parkas and snowshoes, and a ‘dangerous’ dunebuggy which is hopefully the biggest danger you’ll have to deal with for a while now.
Morale: Your men are getting quite excited about the upcoming National Games, but they remain rather unimpressed with their rigorous military training. As far as they’re concerned, they’ve done their stint and it’s time to relax and take it easy.
Health: It’s the third night straight your men have been up all night partying. This time, the ostensible excuse was a ‘pre-game’ celebration. The effects, however, are really starting to show, and it’s hard enough to get them to leave their tent, let alone do anything more strenuous.
The Avalanche is at –10 to Training Checks for this Adventure.
Military Communiques
This time, you haven’t received explicit instructions from the Khan demanding victory at the games, but you’ve heard through word of mouth that he does practically own them, likely through one of his many subsiduary companies. Performing well would likely be way to get into his good books, or at least stave off destruction for a little longer.
Personal Notes
If the Khan really is sponsoring the upcoming National Games, then he’s no doubt expecting them to be a great success. If that’s the case, you figure it might be wise on your part to make sure your support of the games is as widely noticed as possible. You’ve got to support the team, after all.
Your colleague Atobe Keigo is apparently hosting a marathon runner by the name of Jean-Paul. You heard that this guy is one of Electra’s top athletes, but missed his last big race due to oversleeping. Man, how could such a thing have happened? You bet it was the snooze button, that thing gets you all the time.
Mini-Objective
Drum up as much hype and support as possible for the National Games.
Atobe Keigo – Officer’s Report 17
Recent Duties: Frankly, you may have had recent duties, but they’re of no concern to you. All of your concern has been focused on the upcoming National Games, and your inevitable victory over that trollop, Anna Kournikova. You may have lost the Varsity Games, but that event is not going to re-occur – according to both you, and your mother, who has made it very clear that failure is not an option for an Atobe.
Troop Status
Supplies: FLAME-THROWERS, Deluxe uniforms, kamikaze headbands, several exploding “tennis balls” and LUBOSH, your personal tennis trainer.
Morale: Your men are very excited about the upcoming games, and are all about supporting the team. Unfortunately, you’re slightly concerned about whose ‘team’ some of them are on. The ‘We love you, Anna!’ posters you’ve found some of them painting might have something to do with that concern.
Health: Your men have been training at a near frantic rate for the upcoming games, though admittedly, maybe not quite as much as they were back when there were Anna Kournikova posters all over the exercise field. Still, they’re determined to put in a good show, no matter what the reason may be.
Seigaku gains +10 to Training Checks for this Adventure.
Military Communiques
None.
Personal Notes
The Preliminaries for the National Games begin today! And due to all that time they’ve been spending downtown, you don’t think any of your military colleagues have gotten around to submitting a team. Well, one way or another, you’re getting into the tennis matches and going all the way, crushing any and all opposition in your path.
Due to all the hotels in the city being booked solid for the Games, you agreed to let one of your old athlete buddies stay with you for a few days. His name is Jean-Paul Jean-Paul, and he’s one of Electra’s finest marathon runners. In fact, he was expected to be Electra’s Champion at the Interplanetary Olympics 2 years ago, but ended up missing his race by oversleeping. You feel sorry for the guy, he must still be kicking himself to this day over that one.
As usual for civilian games, the National Games are supported by massive corporate sponsorship. You’ve heard that one of this year’s major sponsors is some kind of wealthy business mogul and movie producer.
Your mother has informed you that she intends to be in attendance at the Games in order to observe your victory. Playing with her watching will be a little nerve-racking, but you don’t intend to let it stop you from reaching the Finals. You’re all for supporting the team, after all, so long as the team is YOU.
Mini-Objective
Win your way to the Tennis Finals in the National Games.
Dust – Officer’s Report 16
Recent Duties: Contrary to the opinions of some of your colleagues, downtown is just not what it’s cracked up to be as far as you’re concerned. You much prefer the sleepy peacefulness of a Denchulli farm-town over the neon lights and concrete sidewalks of Electra city.
Troop Status
Supplies: SIR Rifles, Camouflage Scout Uniforms, Sniper Scopes, a Spheran ‘Highwind’ Light Infantry Rifle, several new kegs of Charlie Mops’ best hops, which you have just had imported to the base.
Morale: While you and your Boyos are hardly excited about the hustle and bustle of downtown Electra, you are excited about the upcoming National Games. Your legendary TOUCHDOWN at the Varsity Games has your men all pumped up and convinced the military is more than ready to take home these civilian games.
Health: Your Boyos remain in good health, but you’re not sure how long that will remain the case so long as they keep having to eat this terrible Electran food that PRETENDS to be Denchulli food.
Military Communiques
The presence of the legendary Gol Draam in the city has all the Conventionals forces pumped up, especially with the plans to submit a team to the National Games. They intend to show their leader that the ‘soft’ civilian teams are just no match for military discipline and training.
Personal Notes
You’re all for supporting the games. Your Football victory at the Varsity Games has you all ready for a repeat performance, and Varin has been very insistent about the need to support the team. In fact, given your experiences with civilian Electra, you intend to see to it that the military team gets the crowd support it deserves.
That Paddy Flaherty’s pub and restaurant was a disgrace to the Denchulli name! In fact, the blatant racism on this planet only seems to grow more and more rampant. It’s been annoying you so mightily that you’ve been thinking heavily about trying to file some kind of civil law-suit with Jag.
You’ve heard that your fellow (though you hesitate to call her that) officer Atobe Keigo has some kind of marathon runner staying with her. Frankly, you doubt well he’s going to do at the race tomorrow given Keigo’s tendencies for burning down her own accommodations.
Mini-Objective
Drum up as much hype and support as possible for the National Games.
Lord Flash – Officer’s Report
Recent Duties: Recently, your duties have been incredibly difficult. Why? Because they’ve involved being you! Back when you were just you, it would have been a tough job. But now you’re so good that you’re more than up to the task.
Military Communiques
The other Conventionals seem to think this General Gol Draam fellow is some kind of big shot. Obviously, they haven’t been spending nearly enough time around you. This is something you’ll have to change in the near future.
You’ve heard through various channels that while the big brass are all for the military submitting a team to the upcoming National Games, they’re a little worried about the Special Forces soldiers running away with the whole thing. They would really rather the Conventionals showed themselves the true athletes of the Republic military. Fortunately, with you around, that should be no problem.
Personal Notes
People seem to be big into supporting the upcoming National Games. However, they’re not nearly as into supporting YOU as they should be. That’s a disgrace as far as you’re concerned (and really, who else’s concern matters?)! These games should be all about you, and if you have your way, they will be.
Mini-Objective
Hype up your own participation in the National Games as much as possible.
Jean Reno – Professional’s Report 2
Recent Duties: Mon ami, you continue to be plagued with these terribly written Electran reports. Ah well, you suppose you need something to read during your coffee-break anyway. Actually, you need quite a bit to read, given the length of such breaks. In fact, you have pretty much been on such a break since the end of the war. You would really rather things stayed that way, but you never know when something might come up that requires your professional attention.
Troop Status
Supplies: RD-22 Rifles, Combat Daggers, and full supplies of ammunition and rations. Sadly, these rations are not in fact French, and the quality suffers as a result.
Morale: The Foreign Legion is of course French and bitter, but that is nothing out of the ordinary. After all, with you in charge, they’re all but bulletproof. The other squadrons here could surely learn a thing or two from you.
Health: Your troops aren’t drinking quite enough milk or coffee for your liking, but you don’t have much of the former, and as per the latter, you really can’t blame them. You may be back in the big city, but Electran coffee seems to be equally bad everywhere.
Military Communiques
None.
Personal Notes
Everyone seems to be getting quite excited about these upcoming Electran National Games. Of course, since you are not national yourself, it is not of so much concern to you. However, some of the other soldiers have been talking about putting together a team, which you can only presume will be very unprofessional without your presence, so you might be willing to participate if only to raise the caliber of such an amateur team.
There is one thing about these games, however, of which you very much do not approve. Many of these Electran soldiers seem to be quite taken with this silly face-painting stuff. They claim it’s all just to support the team, but you think it is very unprofessional. In fact, you do not want either you or your men to have anything to do with it, no matter how much ‘hype’ these games are getting.
Mini-Objective
Do not allow yourself or any of your men to have paint applied to their bodies.
Another short summary, I'm afraid.
Sprint: Sgt. Slaughter, O'Malley, Mattar
Marathon: Brock, Jean-Paul, Stenda
Hockey: Kupp (Goal, Assistant Captain); Snowe (Captain), Varin, Harvey Birdman, Lt. Surge, Jean Reno
(forwards); Dust (Assistant Captain), Seamus, Fats (defensemen)
Tennis singles: Lord Flash, Keigo, Eiji , Mannfried von Richtoven
Tennis doubles: Jag and Shellbach, Team Seigaku
Marathon: All three runners easily pass the qualification stage.
Sprint: None of the runners make it past the preliminaries. Mattar in particular is furious at this humiliation, and seems to be out for blood.
Tennis singles: Eiji and Keigo easily beat their first opponents, consisting of Donald Duck and Princess Peach. This sets up Eiji and Keigo, with Keigo winning two games to one. And in a battle of the flying aces, Lord Flash downs the Red Baron in a volley of tennis balls. Bam!
Tennis doubles: Jag and Shellbach win over Team Wario, as well as Team Seigaku pulling off a narrow win over the formidable Team Winnebago.
Hockey: The Khanucks, led by Snowe, Dust and Kupp, take on the Red Wings: along with Dark Knight Cecil, their goaltender, the team counts Rubicant, Kain, Edge, and Zetterberg as their forwards; Yang playing both defense and forward; and Rosa and Cid on defense. The score is tied at nil through three periods, with Cecil stopping several of Lt. Surge and Harvey Birdman's shots, and Kupp stoning Kain and Rubicant at the other end. Cecil mentions at half-time how disapointed his team is in Zetterburg's mediocre performance; however, things start to look bad for the Khanucks when Zeterburg suddenly catches fire in the last few minutes of the third period, blowing past all opposition for an amazing shot that Kupp just barely stops. This took the game into overtime. After the puck is bogged down at centre ice for a bit, the puck is passed to Snowe, who breaks away with a clear shot, and makes no mistake, burying it in the Red Wings' net. The Khanucks win 1-0, surely to the pleasure of the man for whom the team is named.
Jean-Paul Jean-Paul
Race: Electran/Jamaican??
Rank: Military Athletic Scholar
Affiliation: Republic Military
The man known as Jean-Paul Jean-Paul was quite the friendly bastard and one of Electra's champion marathon runners. In fact, he had been a major contender in the Interplanetary Olympics 2 years ago, before he inadvertently slept in and missed his race, an event that haunts him to this day. Regardless, this time Jean-Paul was back on athletic scholarship from the military to set things right, hoping that the events of the past would not repeat themselves.
Arch Hall Sr.
Race: Electran
Rank: Civilian
Affiliation: Arch Hall Sr. Productions
Although it would be all but impossible to be as ugly as his progeny, Arch Hall Sr. comes rather close. A hideous man with wishy grey hair, suspenders, white gloves, and a vest with the word 'director' on the back, Arch Hall was a powerful Electran businessman and movie producer, and his massive media company had been given the contract of managing the National Games. It really came as no surprise to anyone that the only reason the despicable Arch Hall Jr. managed to get any gigs at all for his "swingin' combo" was from his wealthy father's powerful and nepotistic influence.
Gus Gustopherson
Race: Electran
Rank: Detective
Affiliation: City of Electra Police Department
Gus Gustopherson was a stalwart police officer of the city of Electra, whose main characteristic was his urge to dramaticize any situation in which he found himself with his own badly-hummed theme music. He could also never be caught without one of his characteristic egg-salad sandwiches in mouth or in hand, and he always seemed to have more than enough to share. Gus was a long-time friend of Jag's subordinate officer, McMason, and was in charge of security at the National Games - although his competency in such a regard would soon be called into question.
Anna Kournikova
Race: Electran
Rank: Civilian and Tennis Champion
Affiliation: Herself
Hailed as Electra's finest female athlete, in all honesty Anna Kournikova looked more like a swimsuit model. Dressed all in white with a ridiculously short pair of mini-shorts and a tennis shirt that left bare her well-toned midriff, even certain Spherans had been known to admit that the blonde Kournikova was "hot for an Electran." She came to Electra city in anticipation of dominating the Tennis tournament at the Electran National Games, but was soon to find that competition was much stiffer than she'd been expecting.