Adventure 22 - Faceoff

Faceoff

Heroes: Jag, Atobe Keigo, Dust, Lord Flash and Balarai Snowe
Enemies: Dr. Wily's Mega-Men Hockey Team, Mysterio and Anna Kournikova

Jag – Officer’s Dispatch 20

Recent Duties: With your victory over the formidable Team Roy at the National Games, you not only believe you’ve had more success than any other tennis doubles team, but for once it’s actually a fact. Which makes it completely unlike the allegations of drug use against you and your lawyers, and you intend to prove it.
Troop Status

Supplies: Schmitzer SMGs, Armored Flak Vests, Deluxe Laywers’ suits, Field Medkit, Healing Syringes and briefcases full of legal documents.

Morale: Your lawyers are in an absolute uproar over the recent drug allegations against them, and many other members of the military team. After all, this sort of thing could absolutely destroy a good legal reputation, and has to be dealt with as soon as possible.

Health: There are some who might claim the Shark Pack isn’t in the best of physical shape, but with the possible exception of Harvey Birdman, who claims to be suffering from some form of solar withdrawal, you know your lawyers are no addicts. At the very least, there must be some kind of mistake behind those drug tests.

The Shark Pack is at –10 to Training Checks for this Adventure.
Military Communiques

Your first meeting with the Senate’s prosecution team is scheduled for 1000 hours today. Commander Kilant has arranged to meet you at the Senate House, shortly prior to the event. Although there’s always the possibility of settling out of court, he’s indicated to you that he doesn’t plan to accept any but the most favorable terms. He’s also provided you with the following list of the charges against him: - Direct insubordination towards a commanding officer. - Endorsement of insubordination of military personnel. - Misuse of personnel and equipment, both civilian and military. - Maliciously and needlessly endangering the People of Electra.
Personal Notes

McMason continues to bring you disturbing reports from Police HQ. Apparently, a body was found floating in the Crystal River, not far from the Waterfront Region where the games are being held. Could there have been something as insidious as a murder during these games?

1^st Lt. Dust continues to grow more and more vocal in his racism protests. He’s also been somewhat critical of your handling of his lawsuit, handing it off to Harvey Birdman like you did. As a legal professional, you can’t be seen to have any bias based on race, religion or gender, and you’ll have to make sure that Dust fully understands this.

The allegations of illegal drug use by yourself and other members of the military are an absolute outrage! You’d like to attribute this to some kind of clerical error, especially with Dr. Rumak involved, but Gus Gustopherson has been warning you of his suspicions of skulduggery in these games ever since your arrival. One way or another, it’s time to get to the bottom of this mystery…
Mini-Objective

Convince Dust that you are not in fact a racist.

Clear the Republic military’s name of the illegal drug allegations.

Balarai Snowe – Officer’s Report 19

Recent Duties: With yet another successful game under their belts, the Khanucks have fought their way to the Finals of the National Games. What’s more, you’ve also cemented your roll as scoring leader of the League, in spite of Dust’s claim as the ‘Denchulli Bobby Orr.’ And given the kind of motivation you’re working under, you don’t intend to let rioters, drug tests or anything else keep you from going all the way to the top.
Troop Status

Supplies: Heavy Field Mortars, 2 Remote Mines, Gortex winter parkas and snowshoes, and a ‘dangerous’ dunebuggy which is not nearly as dangerous as your own employer.

Morale: Your crushing defeat of Jack Frost at hockey seems to have gone a long way towards reminding your men who their real leader is. They are still a little upset, however, over the loss of the Green Ambler. You really thought that guy was gonna try something.

Health: With their recent steambath in the bagel shop, your men seem to be in at least somewhat better condition. Unfortunately, the recent drug test results have you very concerned. Still, there must be some mistake, as far as you know, you’re clean – in fact, the only drug you would ever admit to taking is a Llama, and even that would just be a lie to save your life.
Military Communiques

Captain Dolg got a hold of you today with some rather unsettling news. Apparently, given your team’s name and prominent performance, the Khan has taken a special interest in you and the Khanucks. In fact, he’s indicated that any team named for his greatness must win the hockey finals. Dolg has told you that the ‘big man’ is personally counting on you to ensure that happens.
Personal Notes

There is an antique shop next to the Sports Pub where you were last night, and given Dust’s self-proclamation as the ‘Denchulli Bobby Orr,’ you saw an item that you just have to get. It was a giant wooden statue of a Denchulli potato farmer dressed up as an Indian Brave – which needless to say, is rife with irony. In fact, that’s so funny that you bet even stoic Jag would get a kick out of that one. You simply must acquire this item and show it off to him, preferably in a highly colorful manner.

You can’t help but think that these drug charges against the military are no coincidence. Something mysterious is definitely going on, and unless something is done, these drug charges could sink the Khanucks' hockey chances.
Mini-Objective

Clear the Republic military’s name of the illegal drug allegations.

Obtain the Denchulli statue and drive by Jag with it in your dunebuggy while yodelling like an Indian Brave at the top of your lungs.

Atobe Keigo – Officer’s Report 19

Recent Duties: This is it – the day is finally at hand where you will crush Anna Kournikova once and for all, and prove your own royalty among tennis players. The past few days of the games have only been a build-up to this point, and you’ve burned right through whoever you need to in order to get here. The crown of victory is waiting for you, and absolutely nothing will stop you from getting it.
Troop Status

Supplies: FLAME-THROWERS, Deluxe uniforms, kamikaze headbands, several exploding “tennis balls” and LUBOSH, your personal tennis trainer (although hopefully not for much longer).

Morale: You suspect that your men have been secretly hoping that it wouldn’t come down to you against Kournikova – because that means they have to pick sides. You, of course, wouldn’t have it any other way. You just hope for their sake none of them pick the WRONG side...

Health: Obviously, Tezuka and Echizen need yet more physical training given how they failed you at Tennis Doubles. Of course, you can always blame their loss on the legal shenanigans of those lawyers, and the distraction of those annoying fangirls.
Military Communiques

None.
Personal Notes

After bad-mouthing your tennis coach, Lubosh, to your mother, you can only hope that he will be discharged from your service. Admittedly, smacking balls at him has proved useful, but you’ve put up with his ridiculous taunts for quite long enough.

The ENSR (Electrans for National Sporting Repatriation) organization has been particularly vocal about the high number of foreign athletes ‘stealing’ the Electran Games. You have to say you rather agree. To support their effort, you purchased a set of ball-caps for your men depicting a Denchulli clover with an X over it (subtract 13 marks from your funds). However, for all of Anna Kournikova’s many faults, being foreign is not one of them.

That Lanver! Apparently, he was ‘feeling bad’ about missing your tennis game yesterday, and got you a ‘gift.’ Unfortunately, this gift consisted of a ridiculous giant wooden statue of a Denchulli dressed like an Indian Brave, complete with some message about ‘making peace because that’s all the Denchulli know how to do.’ You had no need for this giant decoration, and so you passed it off to your mother. There’s nothing like re-gifting, after all.

You can’t help but think that sinister Lorinda has something to do with the recent drug charges against the Special Forces. Although you yourself haven’t been charged this time, several of your men have, and the dark shadow of opium still hangs in your own past. One way or another, you’ve got to resolve this situation.
Mini-Objective

Clear the Republic military’s name of the illegal drug allegations.

Defeat Anna Kournikova and prove beyond all doubt that you are the Princess of Tennis.
Dust – Officer’s Report 18

Recent Duties: As far as you’re concerned, you’ve proven yourself the ‘Denchulli Bobby Orr’ of the National Games, as well as having loudly proclaimed your Denchulli pride on national television. It’s high time your docile but noble-spirited countrymen got the recognition they deserve, and with the Khanucks’ inevitable victory, you intend to see to it that they do.
Troop Status

Supplies: SIR Rifles, Camouflage Scout Uniforms, Sniper Scopes, a Spheran ‘Highwind’ Light Infantry Rifle, several new kegs of Charlie Mops’ best hops, which you have just had imported to the base.

Morale: The Boyos are of course very excited at the prospect of a ‘Denchulli’ team winning the National Games. They are, however, not so thrilled about losing some of their own to those rioters. You have to admit, though, that you can somewhat understand the crowd’s anger over the Green Ambler’s loss. You really thought that guy was gonna try something.

Health: Your Boyos have been subsisting mostly on Stadium food for the last couple days. You hope they’ve been careful around those hot dogs, you never know what’s in those things.
Military Communiques

It seems that the war you came here to fight is far from over. As you saw with your own eyes, the city of Ellivia has fallen to Spheran forces. And with Kilant’s trial still pending, it’s up to Gol Draam and his Conventionals to respond to the crisis. In fact, you heard that a sizeable number of troops are going to be marching out this very day. You really hope your own men are not among them, because would mean you’d have to miss the Hockey finals of the National Games!!
Personal Notes

Your televized display of Denchulli pride yesterday seems to have resulted in something of a backlash from certain quarters. In particular, some group called the ENSR (Electrans for National Sporting Repatriation) has been mounting a substantial publicity campaign to 'bring back the Games to Electra.’ It’s pure racism as far as you’re concerned, and you intend to put a stop to it.

You’re starting to have a few doubts about the integrity of your fellow officer, 1^st Lt. Jag. He seems to have sloughed off your civil rights case on a flunky like Harvey Birdman, who can’t even get through two minutes of meeting without running low on ‘solar power.’ You had thought that Jag was maybe one of the few Electrans you could trust, but perhaps he’s really racist like the rest of them after all.

Your hand literally starts twitching in an urge to reach for your pistol every time that ugly Arch Hall Jr. shows his face. His dad may be sponsoring these games, but surely there’s got to be a way to relieve your urge to pistol-whip him without getting booted out of the games.
Mini-Objective

Locate and eliminate as much racist Denchulli material as possible.

Pistol-whip Arch Hall Jr. once again.

Adventure Summary

The day begins in an "Irish Pub" in Electra City, one which Dust knows all too well. On the T.V., there are reports about the games, and one is interrupted by a flash rainstorm, and a black-armoured figure arriving on the set to pledge revenge. As the figure tosses the anchorman by his neck, Jag declares it assault, and begins a case against the Stormwind remnants.
The Denchuli heads out, apparently having something pressing to do.
Jag phones up Kilant to report the disturbance, and then meets with him to outline his defense for the legal case.
They then report to court later that morning, where Field Marshall Vonderveck (stuffing his face full of shrimp from a platter) and his lawyer, Jackie Chiles, outline their case against the Special Forces commander. Jag can't help but inform Vonderveck that the ocean called, and that it's running out of shrimp.
Jag meets with Lubosh, who tells him that he came to this planet with nothing, and that he needs to show Atobe Kunimitsu that he, as an Arsan, upholds their traditional tennis values. The fact that he also tutors her daughter plays into it, too. Jag is extremely unsure - he's not into throwing games, especially against someone known to be as belligerant as Lubosh. But Dust comes by, and tells Jag that Lubosh's story is so similar to his, and that when he came to Electra, it was under similar circumstances. If he accepts Lubosh's offer, he tells Jag, he'll be sure to keep his legal business at Jag, Jag, and Jag. Jag reluctantly accepts, but not before enforcing a monstrous legal contract that basically says "no spectators except for Atobe Kunimitsu".
Jag and Snowe report to drug testing to clarify what happened. As they heard before, they had been caught with banned substances in their blood. The two suspect either Reno's coffee, or Gus's egg salad sandwiches, but the coffee is eliminated when they learn that Stenda didn't drink any. With the sandwich suspicion in mind, they go to visit "the caf" (the cafeteria at the police station), where Gus gets his sandwiches.
They arrive there and find out that the cook makes a bunch every day, and leaves them for Gus to pick up.
They are interrupted by news that a bloated body has been fished out of an Electran river. They go to the autopsy room, and upon further examination find that inside the man's stomach is an exorbitant amount of mostly-digested egg salad sandwiches. The two of them head back to the stadium.
Flash stops by the bagel shop, and ends up giving the employee a black eye.
Back at the stadium, Dust stops by the bagel shop. The bagel shop employee, already with one black eye courtesy of Lord Flash grins and asks Dust if he wants to try a new bagel. Dust, seemingly without any money, asks what it is. The employee holds up a green bagel with mustard smeared around the outside. He refers to it as "the Denchuli - green on the inside, yellow on the outside." Dust gives the man a second black eye, and eats the bagel anyway.
Keigo and her mother are talking, and Dust, fresh from the bagel shop, runs into them. She seems to be reading some sort of fashion magazine, which says that "the Denchuli fashion - being no more than overalls, plaid, and Wellington boots - is to be avoided." While Atobes Kunimitsu and Keigo seem to enjoy the article, as well as making fun of him, Dust simply smirks and walks away with a glint in his eye.
Dust meets up with Snowe, who has a giant wooden statue of "a brave Denchuli warrior", complete with tomahawk and headdress. The long-haired Electran lets off a war-cry. Dust, assuming that Snowe's knowledge of Denchuli language and culture comes from a part of the planet that he doesn't know well, assumes that this is how the ancient Denchuli tribes dress, though he can't help but think that the facial structure looks very different.
The two head down to the locker room to get ready for hockey.
Inside the hockey dressing room there is a crate. When Dust asks what it is, Snowe shoves him out of the room, and locks the door. The Khan emerges from his sarcophogus, and demands that Snowe join him "or die". The Electran quickly agrees, but points out that he has always served his Khan. As a replacement for Varin, the Khanucks are given "Mr. Todd Bertuzzi".
The Khanucks face the reigning champion Mega-Men in the finals. Bertuzzi sucker-punches Flash Man and drives him into the ice, causing serious spinal injury. Amazingly, no penalty is called on the play. He tries the same tactic in the second period on Heat Man, whose Atomic Fire gives him an amazing shot, but the little robot avoids the hit. In the third period, Bertuzzi comes off the bench when Harvey Birdman leaves, and the Mega-Men lose their star and captain, Mega-Man, to serious spinal injury.
The Khanucks lose the hockey game 2-1 on an incredible streak of bad luck in rolling (as one player put it, "I seem to have a 50% chance of rolling 2-4, and a 50% chance of rolling a 1"). The Khan is sure to be displeased. Snowe's player openly muses about rolling up a new character immediately and getting it over with.
Meanwhile, Keigo ekes out a 4-2 victory over Anna Kournikova in tennis.
Dust leaves the locker room after seeing a man with a guitar wearing a t-shirt that has a potato on the back that says "Small Fry". Gus Gustavarson finds Snowe and Jag and informs them that their drug tests remain positive, and that they will be disqualified. A couple of men in business suits are with him, and he asks that the two Electrans follow him. They do so, and after revealing their line of reasoning and tugging at his face, they discover that he is none other than Mysterio, the crappiest super-villain ever! (with the possible exception of The Vulture)
Dust follows the man in the t-shirt through a number of hallways, and he enters at the tennis court, where Kournikova and Keigo seem to be lipping off at each other, with Lord Flash just watching Kournikova. The man with the guitar turns out to be none other than a member of Arch Hall's swingin' combo. Another guitarist, as well as Arch Hall himself, and the clapping saxophonist, take on the Denchuli, while Flash and Keigo take on Kournikova and her water boys.
The three eventually dispose of their opponents, but not before Lord Flash goes. Dust, at 1 HP (and Keigo not much better off), fakes unconsciousness, only to quietly ready his rifle and gun down the saxophonist when he isn't looking.
Jag and Snowe have a hard time attacking Mysterio's illusionary forms, but are quickly joined by none other than Klogg. The three of them manage to isolate Mysterio most of the time, delivering small amounts of damage when they do. Mysterio fights back with energy blades and psi spears until he seems to get weaker, at which point he uses a trained flame-fist.
Mysterio goes down, his patheticness only magnified by the fact that he wears both a cape and a fish-bowl.

Major Characters this Session
Jackie Chiles
Race: Electran
Rank: Civilian Laywer
Affiliation: The Republic Senate/Oh Henry Corporation
If there's one thing that can be said about Jackie Chiles' description, it is that it's marvelous, distiniguished, outstanding. Much like Jackie Chiles himself. A tall, lean, black man with a thick mustache, huge glasses, and a constantly outraged facial expression, Chiles is known as one of the Republic's fastest-talking lawyers. He's also known for making any case in which he's invovled into a veritable media circus. Furthermore, it seems that Jackie is also sponsored by the powerful Oh Henry candy-bar corporation, and he can almost never be seen without one of these characteristic snacks in hand.

Vonderveck
Race: Electran
Rank: Grand-Marshall
Affiliation: Republic of Electra Conventionals
The rotund Vonderveck is the Grand-Marshall and supreme commander of the entire Conventionals division of the Republic military. A short, squat man, he has enormous walrus mustaches, a bevy of war medals on his royal blue uniform, and is usually seen with a plate of shrimp in hand, which are quickly making their way from said plate to his mouth. It's been said that although he leads the largest corps. of the Republic's military, Vonderveck is more of a politician than a general, and rarely leaves the capital himself.

Todd Bertuzzi
Race: ??
Rank: Hockey Player
Affiliation: Genghis Khan
Mr. Todd Bertuzzi was a special man sent by the Khan to ensure his team's victory at the National Games Hockey Finals. His main tactic in doing so was to deliver a cheap shot to an opponent from behind, resulting in serious spinal injury and taking them out of the game. As some commentators would put it, 'good clean hits' were the name of the game where Mr. Bertuzzi was concerned.

Mysterio
Race: Tortalian
Rank: Master Criminal
Affiliation: ??
Having murdered the real Gus Gustopherson in his escape, the evil Mysterio was the mastermind behind the skulduggery at the National Games. As a master of illusion, he could manipulate his appearance to achieve such duplicit goals. He did, however, have the questionable fashion accessory of wearing a fishbowl over his head.

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